Now China's trying to kill our athletes!

[wbarnhill]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowitz/chinas-gold-medals-found_b_118664.html

China's impressive haul of gold medals at the Beijing Olympics was tarnished somewhat today when it was revealed that "abnormally high levels of lead" were found in the first-place medallions.
The medals, which were supposed to be made entirely of gold, were instead found to be composed of 99% lead alloy and coated with a gold-colored lead-based paint. The shocking revelations roiled the Olympic complex today and sent officials looking for answers from the Chinese manufacturer of the medals, the Wuhan One Hundred Percent Gold Medal Corporation.
"We are trying to determine how exactly so much lead got into those gold medals," said a spokesman for Wuhan, China's largest exporter of gold medals. "Until we do, we are urging all first-place athletes not to lick, taste or suck on their medals."

(For those not paying attention, this is satirical... )

 

[mikea]

In other news the medal factory mysteriously burned to the ground destroying all of the evidence required for the investigation.

 

[ScottM]

Did anyone see the video of the Hungarian weight lifter today?

OOOOWWWWW!!!!

 

[Unbeliever]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowitz/chinas-gold-medals-found_b_118664.html

(For those not paying attention, this is satirical... )

Yeah, but the satire doesn't hit until later in the article. That's where most of the "funny" is. The first paragraph just plays it straight.

"I am very, very concerned about my extensive contact with gold medals," Mr. Phelps told reporters. "But what am I supposed to do? Stop being so awesome?"

--Carlos V.