Non-Disclosure Among Family Members?

Jaybird180

Final Approach
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Jaybird180
The question is: Do you ask your family to sign one?

I had a good idea for a niche product and I'm working with developers to produce it for eventual marketing. I later realized that my Brother-in-Law has expertise in that area. I asked his opinion but before I disclose some of the details, I considered having him sign an NDA same as the developers I'm working with.

I don't think he'd talk or compete with me. If he did, it would be tough pill to have to enforce and moreso because his wife is a Law Professor.

Thinking I should just bypass the NDA altogether...?
 
NDA seems a little tacky for family. But you know him better then we do. I find when I meet people at work I share something v with them and see if it gets out. If it does then I don't talk to them unless I have to.
 
It seems easier, in most respects, to treat family members the same way you would treat any other outside employee or contractor doing the same job. "It's not personal, it's business."
 
Hi Saracelia- Haven't seen you roun' these parts in awhile...but then again - I haven't been roun' these parts in awhile either.
 
I signed an NDA for a friend. Besides protecting his idea, he was interested in having it dated. Having both a signature and the date it was signed is proof of when the idea was formulated. This helped when he went through the patent process.

Tell your BIL you need a signed and dated NDA and it looks like your asking for a favor, not just a trust issue.
 
The best way for someone to get me to walk away from something they want me to work on is to try to make me sign an NDA before they've told me a damn thing. The damn things are littered with things that are pretty well designed to not be in my best interests in every regard. Why should I take on liability by signing your document when I have no idea if I'll ever see any benefit. It triggers my RedFlagRadar.

If your product is so easy to clone and steal that you feel someone should sign an NDA before you tell them anything....well then it's not a good product and won't provide enough value to people because obviously it's too easy to do. The best ****? You can just tell people what it is because you know it's damn hard, they won't be able to do it better then you, and they won't have the resources to even try. That's a product that has value...and that's something that'll stick around and make money.

There are times when NDA(s) can be appropriate. However, IMO, it's totally inapproriate to ask someone to sign one without giving them a lot of context and some bit of an idea as to what benefit they could gain by taking a risk (signing your document).
 
The best way for someone to get me to walk away from something they want me to work on is to try to make me sign an NDA before they've told me a damn thing. The damn things are littered with things that are pretty well designed to not be in my best interests in every regard. Why should I take on liability by signing your document when I have no idea if I'll ever see any benefit. It triggers my RedFlagRadar.

If your product is so easy to clone and steal that you feel someone should sign an NDA before you tell them anything....well then it's not a good product and won't provide enough value to people because obviously it's too easy to do. The best ****? You can just tell people what it is because you know it's damn hard, they won't be able to do it better then you, and they won't have the resources to even try. That's a product that has value...and that's something that'll stick around and make money.

There are times when NDA(s) can be appropriate. However, IMO, it's totally inapproriate to ask someone to sign one without giving them a lot of context and some bit of an idea as to what benefit they could gain by taking a risk (signing your document).

I recently signed one that I kind of wish I hadn't because the work is actually pretty interesting. It's forced me to re-think some strongly held opinions about... some tech thing that, obviously, I can't discuss, as much as I would like to.

But then again, had I not signed the NDA, I wouldn't have known the interesting stuff at all. So I guess I have to take the bad with the good.

I also got some other neat... tech stuff out of the deal, which I also can't discuss.

Sigh...

Rich
 
So....I just got off the phone with a Patent, Trademark, Copyright lawyer and he says, "I don't do too many patents (in that area) and I'm probably not the right guy to advise you...". I appreciate his honesty, but geez just stick to the area that you know and advise me on that and tell me to go elsewhere for my other needs. /Rant-off
 
The best way for someone to get me to walk away from something they want me to work on is to try to make me sign an NDA before they've told me a damn thing. The damn things are littered with things that are pretty well designed to not be in my best interests in every regard. Why should I take on liability by signing your document when I have no idea if I'll ever see any benefit. It triggers my RedFlagRadar.

If your product is so easy to clone and steal that you feel someone should sign an NDA before you tell them anything....well then it's not a good product and won't provide enough value to people because obviously it's too easy to do. The best ****? You can just tell people what it is because you know it's damn hard, they won't be able to do it better then you, and they won't have the resources to even try. That's a product that has value...and that's something that'll stick around and make money.

There are times when NDA(s) can be appropriate. However, IMO, it's totally inapproriate to ask someone to sign one without giving them a lot of context and some bit of an idea as to what benefit they could gain by taking a risk (signing your document).

Sounds a bit like someone gave you an over-reach. The basis of an NDA is twofold:
1- You won't tell anyone my secret
2- You won't try to use what you learned to beat me to market

I've already given my BIL a basic framework of what it is - he helped steer me to the product developers for goodness sake. At this stage however, it's more of the meaty details of what the product does, how it does it and what the target market is- all the information I gave to the developer to "make this" for me and the developer replying saying 'this is how I'm going to do it'. If it were a stranger and he won't sign an NDA - see ya later bud. But this is family, which is why I'm on the fence and it was even a split decision to ask him to sign it. He's shown some hesitance to sign it, and they're pretty common in his industry so he's familiar with them.
 
It seems easier, in most respects, to treat family members the same way you would treat any other outside employee or contractor doing the same job. "It's not personal, it's business."
My original thoughts about the matter.
 
The best way for someone to get me to walk away from something they want me to work on is to try to make me sign an NDA before they've told me a damn thing. The damn things are littered with things that are pretty well designed to not be in my best interests in every regard. Why should I take on liability by signing your document when I have no idea if I'll ever see any benefit. It triggers my RedFlagRadar.

If your product is so easy to clone and steal that you feel someone should sign an NDA before you tell them anything....well then it's not a good product and won't provide enough value to people because obviously it's too easy to do. The best ****? You can just tell people what it is because you know it's damn hard, they won't be able to do it better then you, and they won't have the resources to even try. That's a product that has value...and that's something that'll stick around and make money.

There are times when NDA(s) can be appropriate. However, IMO, it's totally inapproriate to ask someone to sign one without giving them a lot of context and some bit of an idea as to what benefit they could gain by taking a risk (signing your document).
So you are saying that you want to be given all the details and then you can decide whether or not to sign the NDA, or just walk away knowing the idea and steal it?

Most products are easy to clone and replicate. But you must have the idea for THAT product. That is what he is trying to protect. What prevents you from hearing his idea, deciding not to sign the NDA, and going and bringing the product to market first yourself?

What benefit would you expect from your brother in law asking your opinion about an idea he has? He's not asking to be your partner, he would like your professional opinion since you are experienced in the field.
 
Sounds a bit like someone gave you an over-reach. The basis of an NDA is twofold:
1- You won't tell anyone my secret
2- You won't try to use what you learned to beat me to market

I've already given my BIL a basic framework of what it is - he helped steer me to the product developers for goodness sake. At this stage however, it's more of the meaty details of what the product does, how it does it and what the target market is- all the information I gave to the developer to "make this" for me and the developer replying saying 'this is how I'm going to do it'. If it were a stranger and he won't sign an NDA - see ya later bud. But this is family, which is why I'm on the fence and it was even a split decision to ask him to sign it. He's shown some hesitance to sign it, and they're pretty common in his industry so he's familiar with them.
The problem with #1 and #2 is that your "secret" might not really be much of a secret at all. I might already be working on it with other parties. I might have plans to already do that one day, etc, etc. Essentially by signing an NDA in the "blind" without any clue what the secret will be I'm taking a significant risk. Not only that there are parties that might not engage with me at all if they knew I signed an NDA with X. I need to know that I stand to make money before I sign such a thing and I need a decent idea as to what it is precisely so I can decide if I want to be limited by your document.

Signing an NDA in itself brings me risk while producing no value in itself. If all I'm looking at is an NDA and a party that says they won't talk with me about some mystery opportunity unless I sign it..well I'm going to walk.

I understand your desire for an NDA, and I understand why it's complicated with your brother. I'm absolutely not offended at all if someone approaches me with an NDA, I decide I don't want to execute it, and we split ways as a result. That's a much better outcome then a legal issue in the future.

So you are saying that you want to be given all the details and then you can decide whether or not to sign the NDA, or just walk away knowing the idea and steal it?
See the above. It really just depends on what it's about in the first place. If someone wants me to sign an NDA I need to know really damn well what they're wanting to tell me in the first place to measure if it will conflict with any of my other existing things in that space.

My perspective on this isn't unique. There are many people that will just walk away if you try to force an NDA down their throat. It's your business and your right to want to do so - just realize it may limit you. I've refused to sign a handful of NDA(s) and about 50% of those parties decided to proceed without it and about the other 50% decided we weren't a good fit. I'm happy with that outcome. The fact that I haven't signed a bunch of ridiculous stuff over the years has left me with a much wider set of opportunities available.

It's not to say that I haven't signed such things over the years. I've just refused by far more then I've signed. Each one that I do sign I need to "track" to ensure I'm not conflicting with it while its legally binding. I'd like as few of those as possible. If I signed everything sent my way I'd have a filing cabinet full of the damn things and I'd need an attorney to make sense of it before I engaged in basically anything. No thanks.
 
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Family can prove deadly. I'd keep my mouth shut ESPECIALLY if he's knowledgeable in this field. As the catfish told the trout, "swim deep and have your route picked out.". The fact that your asking implies that your not comfortable with him, hesitant.
 
Family can prove deadly. I'd keep my mouth shut ESPECIALLY if he's knowledgeable in this field. As the catfish told the trout, "swim deep and have your route picked out.". The fact that your asking implies that your not comfortable with him, hesitant.
No so. I'm a process oriented person. I'm thinking of making an exception BECAUSE he is family.
 
How about this: "Hey Brother in law, I'd like to tell you more but I'd like you to keep it a secret. Also, I want to make sure this isn't a business you'd go into. Make sense? Great, here are the details"

Personally, an NDA with family would feel very strange to me.
 
Dealing with family like this is a mixed blessing. Sometimes it's best to avoid it altogether and be able to look each other in the eye at Thanksgiving. You could also ask, "Hey, BIL, I know you are an expert in xxx. How to I go about finding someone that can give me professional advice in that area? Yeah, nice of you to offer, but I want to keep this strictly business related."
 
If you can't trust your family you got bigger concerns then a NDA
 
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If you're I can't trust your family you got bigger concerns then a NDA
Do you have inlaws?? :eek: Seriously, I would take the path of everyone involved has signed this, it is to protect all parties. I trust you, but it wouldn't be fair to have the others sign and not you. I wouldn't trust my current and former BIL's with $20 to pick up lunch! Of course my sister had a habit of marrying losers and so does my SIL! ;)
A lot depends on your relationship with him, if you are tight like brothers, maybe I'd skip it. If you see each other at Christmas and Thanksgiving only, then have him sign. You know better than us about his morals and if you even remotely think he'd steal your idea.
You could always post your idea here and we could help you!!! :D
 
No so. I'm a process oriented person. I'm thinking of making an exception BECAUSE he is family.
What would you do if he wasn't your BIL? You know your relationship with him better than anyone else here.
 
NDA all the way. I know he is family but money ...........
 
Personally, if I felt I needed to have this person sign an NDA, I wouldn't discuss it.
 
Ask them to sign the NDA. Don't discuss if they don't. If no other reason, you want other employees or partners to see that you're not giving special treatment to your family. No, you're not going to sue your brother in law if he discloses this...are you? But at least he's in the same boat with everyone else and maybe the NDA might help remind him to stay quiet.
 
A good friend of mine had her family sign one for a government patent she is working on. It was her mother's idea, who happens to be a patent and copyright lawyer. Even though she doesn't talk about it to anyone but her mother. It was more to protect her in case anything was accidentally overheard or said at "Thanksgiving".

She still keeps me in the dark for a more simple reason. I wouldn't understand a single thing she would tell me. I'm like a caveman listening to Einstein talk about E=MC^2.
 
He's only a brother-in-law, for now. I'd partner up with your sister.
I assumed he was on his wife's side of the family since he mentioned the BIL's wife was a law professor. :)
 
If it's patentable then I would make him sign the NDA, patent law has changed a little since my last patent, but loose lips sink ships, especially now that the US has adopted first to file rules. I remember signing papers stating that my ideas were novel and that I had not publicly disclosed the ideas. I've met a few people who say they were screwed out of technology by close acquaintances, whether true or not I don't know, but better to be careful if you don't completely trust someone.
 
It seems easier, in most respects, to treat family members the same way you would treat any other outside employee or contractor doing the same job. "It's not personal, it's business."

Absolutely this!!
 
The problem with #1 and #2 is that your "secret" might not really be much of a secret at all. I might already be working on it with other parties. I might have plans to already do that one day, etc, etc. Essentially by signing an NDA in the "blind" without any clue what the secret will be I'm taking a significant risk. Not only that there are parties that might not engage with me at all if they knew I signed an NDA with X. I need to know that I stand to make money before I sign such a thing and I need a decent idea as to what it is precisely so I can decide if I want to be limited by your document.

Signing an NDA in itself brings me risk while producing no value in itself. If all I'm looking at is an NDA and a party that says they won't talk with me about some mystery opportunity unless I sign it..well I'm going to walk.
That is the issue I have with them. There is no benefit to me or my employer. Too often what someone claims to be thier intellectual property or innovation is common practice. I can't get tangled up in a legal dispute that does nothing but keep my company from using standard industry practice.
To the original poster - good luck with your project. I hope it turns out well for you.
The NDA aside, being in business with a relative can certainly make it more complicated.
 
I recently signed one that I kind of wish I hadn't because the work is actually pretty interesting. It's forced me to re-think some strongly held opinions about... some tech thing that, obviously, I can't discuss, as much as I would like to.

But then again, had I not signed the NDA, I wouldn't have known the interesting stuff at all. So I guess I have to take the bad with the good.

I also got some other neat... tech stuff out of the deal, which I also can't discuss.

Sigh...

Rich

ROFLMAO...I'm sitting here laughing while sipping my coffee, because I signed an NDA like that one once and would have said almost identical things.

The product really was "revolutionary" and it actually did "change the world", but it was out-classed by a better idea inside of three years. (Had to do with how multiple microphones in a room could be used to eliminate wall/window echo, and a pretty nifty way to go about it, not just by phase, but some other nifty techniques, without adding much delay to the resulting output, but cheap ubiquitous DSPs was already in the "pipe" and crushed it completely in three years. Guy had a great idea, though... he just didn't know the freight train of DSP chipset cheapness was about to flatten him. Didn't matter, he had plenty of other income and products. What he needed me for was testing... and it was fun to test.)

Sounds a bit like someone gave you an over-reach. The basis of an NDA is twofold:
1- You won't tell anyone my secret
2- You won't try to use what you learned to beat me to market

I have never EVER seen an NDA that was that simple after the lawyers got done with it.

That is the issue I have with them. There is no benefit to me or my employer. Too often what someone claims to be their intellectual property or innovation is common practice. I can't get tangled up in a legal dispute that does nothing but keep my company from using standard industry practice.

I've avoided three or four NDAs from "excited entrepreneurs" by simply saying "I can't sign that until I know you're not doing something people are already doing in this industry, because it can cause me trouble. Maybe I already work on something similar, and signing that would put me in a bad place with other employers. Describe some basics and hold back whatever you think the "secret" is, and I'll see if I can guess what you're doing."

I guessed their "idea" on all but the one up top there that I mentioned to Rich. And the entrepreneur got valuable info: "This company X, already makes one of those, and it's way ahead of where you're at...", etc. Other than the guy above, all were mildly disappointed but inventor/entrepreneurs are never slowed down much for long.

I've also avoided signing non-compete contracts with nearly every employer, or black-lining the hell out of the things. Sure, they're essentially unenforceable in this State, to start with, but I still have to pay a lawyer and go to court if you simply DISAGREE that they're unenforceable, and your lawyers are on retainer, and mine isn't, so I'm at a fiscal disadvantage right at the beginning of the disagreement.

It usually comes down to two stipulations that have to be met:
1. Frankly, either you want me here, or you don't. Want to just throw this thing away? I don't really feel like starting the relationship feeling like you distrust me.
2. I will not sign this if it says my personal time is not my own, nor any work I do on my personal time. In fact, I can't. I have projects on-going with numerous organizations as a volunteer, and those projects pre-date YOU. They win.
 
Since I'm beginning to detest wild quoting, I'll just say "yeah, that! ^" , nod my head and move on.
 
Get the NDA. I'm sure if you were borrowing/lending money there would be a writing. This is no different.
 
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