New TSA process... Houston IAH

TangoWhiskey

TangoWhiskey

Touchdown! Greaser!
Joined
Feb 23, 2005
Messages
14,210
Location
Midlothian, TX
Display Name
3Green
Home Airfield
KJWY - Mid-Way Regional
Now, they are not only asking you to state your name at the initial check of your ID and boarding pass, but are now asking you to present your boarding pass a second time, after going through the magic wave machine, so they can 'verify the date' on your pass. said they were told to start doing that for all passengers two weeks ago, and conceded that it didn't make sense to them either.
 
Security Theater. You paid for it..enjoy the show!
 
When I non-rev'd down to CLT last month a friend who was traveling with me got through security with a boarding pass that didn't match his legal name. The company misspelled his last name. Got through no problemo.
 
Surprise! More examples of the insanity of TSA.

But our "leaders" don't have the cajones to deep-six the TSA.
 
I guess using the one of these famous lines will just land you in trouble:

"My name? Jose Jimenez."

Or looking the agent straight in the eye and reciting "My name is Inigo Montoya, you keeled my father, now prepare to die."
 
AggieMike88 said:
Or looking the agent straight in the eye and reciting "My name is Inigo Montoya, you keeled my father, now prepare to die."
Click to expand...


LOL. :rofl: :rofl:

I'm just guessing that they'd fail to see the humor and you'd have invasive issues causing you to miss your flight.
 
Perhaps they will start asking you questions about your ID like you are a suspect underage kid trying to buy beer?

What's your address?
What's your eye color?
What is your astrological sign?

Undercover cops once dragged me out of a bar when I was 23 because I didn't know my sign or eye color (blue-green, the license says green but I said blue). After a few insults regarding my intelligence, they let me go.
 
From ThinkGeek.com

inigo_montoya.jpg


Might just get one for the next time I fly, then in stead of verbally complying with the request, I can just point to the name tag.
 
What would be comedian Ron White's response? "They call me..... Tater Salad"

(Thanks to Renjamin for reminding of his funny "Drunk In Public" routine)
 
Diving way into the deep end of silliness, Thanks to Monty Python and the "Election Night" episode we have,

James Walker (Sensible Party)

Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel (Silly Party)

Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper Wednesday (pops mouth twice) Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (whinnying) Arthur Norman Michael (blows squeaker) Featherstone Smith (whistle) Northgot Edwards Harris (fires pistol, then 'whoop') Mason (chuff-chuff-chuff-chuff) Frampton Jones Fruitbat (squeaker) Gilbert (sings) 'We'll keep a welcome in the' (three shots) Williams If I Could Walk That Way Jenkin (squeaker) Tiger-drawers Pratt Thompson (sings) 'Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head' Darcy Carter (horn) Pussycat (sings) 'Don't Sleep In The Subway' Barton Mainwaring (hoot, 'whoop') Smith (Very Silly Party)
 
dell30rb said:
Perhaps they will start asking you questions about your ID like you are a suspect underage kid trying to buy beer?

What's your address?
What's your eye color?
What is your astrological sign?

Undercover cops once dragged me out of a bar when I was 23 because I didn't know my sign or eye color (blue-green, the license says green but I said blue). After a few insults regarding my intelligence, they let me go.
Click to expand...

They already do that in Boston (and somewhere else, I think). It's a full-bore interrogation: Where do you live, where do you work, who do you work for, what is your job title, please show me a business card, why are you traveling, who did you meet with here, where are you headed, how long have you been here, etc. etc. etc. The only things missing are the spotlights on your face and the waterboard in the corner.

Seriously. Check some of the frequent flyer boards for details.

It's a real problem for folks traveling on confidential company business, or engaged in some activity (financing, M&A, national sales, classified govt business) where disclosure would be harmful to the country or violate SEC rules.
 
TangoWhiskey said:
Now, they are not only asking you to state your name at the initial check of your ID and boarding pass, but are now asking you to present your boarding pass a second time, after going through the magic wave machine, so they can 'verify the date' on your pass. said they were told to start doing that for all passengers two weeks ago, and conceded that it didn't make sense to them either.
Click to expand...

Perhaps they are trying to track how many days it takes to get through their line?
 
Yet they haven't figured out the key weakness of their entire system. At this time, at most airports, someone who is on all of their watchlists can walk onto a plane if he has only minimal computer skills and a 'clean' co-conspirator.
 
weilke said:
Yet they haven't figured out the key weakness of their entire system. At this time, at most airports, someone who is on all of their watchlists can walk onto a plane if he has only minimal computer skills and a 'clean' co-conspirator.
Click to expand...

Not even that: Link

Of course, he claims to own the world....
 
TangoWhiskey said:
LOL. :rofl: :rofl:

I'm just guessing that they'd fail to see the humor and you'd have invasive issues causing you to miss your flight.
Click to expand...

You've got Arthur Frommer claiming the TSA should go even further at being invasive: Link. Bruce Schneier needs to have a serious talk with Frommer.
 
wsuffa said:
They already do that in Boston (and somewhere else, I think). It's a full-bore interrogation: Where do you live, where do you work, who do you work for, what is your job title, please show me a business card, why are you traveling, who did you meet with here, where are you headed, how long have you been here, etc. etc. etc.
Click to expand...
Paris was that way. They grilled a batch of teenage girls three separate times. Barely gave my wife and I a glance. Somehow I didn't feel slighted.
 
wsuffa said:
They already do that in Boston (and somewhere else, I think). It's a full-bore interrogation:,
Click to expand...

NYC is heading that way in a Bloomberg hurry. That guy is one serious marxist. He wants to control every movement, every step, every action and thinks it's his right. Doesn't do a lot for tourism.
 
wsuffa said:
They already do that in Boston (and somewhere else, I think). It's a full-bore interrogation: Where do you live, where do you work, who do you work for, what is your job title, please show me a business card, why are you traveling, who did you meet with here, where are you headed, how long have you been here, etc. etc. etc. The only things missing are the spotlights on your face and the waterboard in the corner.
Click to expand...

Does 'right to remain silent' mean anything there? Not that you would really be helping yourself, as remaining silent can sometimes expand the target on your head, unfortunately.

When the cops didn't like my answers and started really badgering me, I just zipped my lips. They held me for about 10 minutes, accused me of all sorts of debauchery, then gave me my valid, in state ID back and called me a sketchy, uncooperative punk but that I was free to go.
 
I especially like it when they dissect a wallet, counting the money. Commenting on
the amounts. Demanding to know why you have so much, or so little ... or that you
have exceeded some (imaginary) currency limits. Or; objecting to possessing foreign
currency (in any amount).

Carefully studying each credit card; Each embership/discount/club card. Good grief.
Gawd help you if they find a scrap of paper with a tele number on it. WHAT'S THIS!?!

It was hard to stifle the urge to give them utterly outrageous answers.

I travel with a tablet o'dollars. Take new/crisp $1 bills. Bind/pad them
into a tablet. Gotta make a small purchase? Pay a tip? Just peel the
$1 bills from the tablet. Even funnier if every 3rd one is a blank sheet of
paper. The tablet o'dollars also drives the TSA nuts.
 
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rainsux said:
...I travel with a tablet o'dollars. Take new/crisp $1 bills. Bind/pad them
into a tablet. Gotta make a small purchase? Pay a tip? Just peel the
$1 bills from the tablet. Even funnier if every 3rd one is a blank sheet of
paper. The tablet o'dollars also drives the TSA nuts.
Click to expand...

Steve Wozniac has exactly that, only his pads are $2 bills - you know. Considered counterfeit at Taco Bell.

Woz also has metal business cards that he find no end of joy in using on the airliner to cut his steak.

You how pedophiles like gettings jobs in the scouts and schools? TSA attracts voyeurs.
 
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I really want to know what can be used to print something on a T-shirt, that will show up on the body scanner. You can see where I'm going with this... I want a T-shirt that's plain on the outside and printed on the inside. Let's see... is there an "evil grin" smiley?

I have no choice but to fly commercial for an upcoming business trip. I'm hoping it will be my last CONUS commercial flight, ever. Maybe, maybe not. But I can try.
 
dell30rb said:
Does 'right to remain silent' mean anything there? Not that you would really be helping yourself, as remaining silent can sometimes expand the target on your head, unfortunately.
Click to expand...

That's when the procto-scope comes out. They'll even tell you that you have no rights at the checkpoint.

A colleague of mine on confidential business travel ended up getting a 45 minute search of his stuff and the cops were called to try and interrogate him. All because he tried to remain silent. They even went through his wallet....

rainsux said:
I especially like it when they dissect a wallet, counting the money. Commenting on
the amounts. Demanding to know why you have so much, or so little ... or that you
have exceeded some (imaginary) currency limits. Or; objecting to possessing foreign
currency (in any amount).

Carefully studying each credit card; Each embership/discount/club card. Good grief.
Gawd help you if they find a scrap of paper with a tele number on it. WHAT'S THIS!?!

It was hard to stifle the urge to give them utterly outrageous answers.

I travel with a tablet o'dollars. Take new/crisp $1 bills. Bind/pad them
into a tablet. Gotta make a small purchase? Pay a tip? Just peel the
$1 bills from the tablet. Even funnier if every 3rd one is a blank sheet of
paper. The tablet o'dollars also drives the TSA nuts.
Click to expand...

They aren't supposed to do that unless the x-ray identifies a suspicious item. Not that it ever stopped them.
 
> That's when the procto-scope comes out.

Since the walletectomey; I've purchased two [count'm 2] $100 Trillion bills (from
Zimbabwe).
 
rainsux said:
> That's when the procto-scope comes out.

Since the walletectomey; I've purchased two [count'm 2] $100 Trillion bills (from
Zimbabwe).
Click to expand...

be careful. I know someone who got grief for having Hungarian Forints in his bag.... (seriously)
 
DaleB said:
I really want to know what can be used to print something on a T-shirt, that will show up on the body scanner. You can see where I'm going with this... I want a T-shirt that's plain on the outside and printed on the inside. Let's see... is there an "evil grin" smiley?

I have no choice but to fly commercial for an upcoming business trip. I'm hoping it will be my last CONUS commercial flight, ever. Maybe, maybe not. But I can try.
Click to expand...

Been done!

C%20SCAN%20T-SHIRT.gif

C%20SCAN%20UndiesW%20BIG.gif


http://cargocollective.com/4thamendment

Guaranteed to get you an anal probe!
 
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