[NA]How questions s/b asked:answered

Let'sgoflying!

Let'sgoflying!

Touchdown! Greaser!
Joined
Feb 23, 2005
Messages
20,311
Location
west Texas
Display Name
Display name:
Dave Taylor
I was discussing with employees a problem I have, in which I ask a simple question and 5 minutes of chat later I realize I am no further ahead, regarding knowledge on the topic, than when I’d started. To expedite the process, I try to make it easy for people by asking Y/N questions, realizing the occasional ‘I don’t know’, and other responses will have to be included in the mix as a potential and acceptable answers.
Maybe its a right brain vs left brain thing ....or could it be a M vs F thing? ...because at that point I was accused of “Boxing people in, with the wording of my questions”!
Um, “Did you leave the door open” or “Is the xx delivery on the back table?” a challenge or a threat, lol? I don’t understand (or have time for) a lengthy treatise on such simple concepts, how about an answer and let’s move on?

You guys are always good at showing me the error of my thoughts, so I throw this out.
Maybe there is a less ‘boxing’ way to get needed information these days?
 
I do not think it is M/F or Left/Right. It is a complete and total lack of critical thinking being employed daily. I despair of it.

With google just a phone-flick away, anyone with any curiousity can dive into a sewer of opinion, jabber, straw men, and know-nothings with keyboards and emerge an instant expert, ala the Matrix. Everyone knows Kung Fu now. The idea that one would even consult personal experience is limited to those of us who still act like Verbs instead of Nouns, and we are an endangered species.

Anymore, I tend to just keep quiet when more than 3 or 4 people are in the room (lately, chatroom), because any display of experience is going to inevitably end up getting sneered at by those who wish to either explain my privilege, discount my experience, or improve upon my ideas with their latest half-brained googling or redditing.

Asking a specific question leaves no room to discuss all of the contextual/subjective crap, and is not welcome.


The only way I can navigate this stew anymore is to pre-identify those people who know things about certain topics, and then ask them quietly. If I'm not confident in the answer I receive, I may need to canvass multiple people one-on-one and aggregate the answers myself.


I have no explanation as to why the louder someone is, the less they are likely to have actually touched the topic at hand personally. At least, no flattering explanation.
 
“Did you leave the door open?” and “what are some ways we can ensure the door isn’t left open?” are two very different questions and will obviously get different responses. Not saying any of them will be good responses, you get what you pay for.
 
This is a huge pet peeve with me. I understand that the answer isn’t as simple as I may want it to be, but answer the question and then add detail until I understand the complexities. Don’t just start talking about things that seem unrelated to my question and then maybe, eventually, tie it back to the question later. Maybe. But probably not.

I deal with this in just about every conversation I have with engineers, so I don’t think it’s simply a left / right brain thing. Although the vast majority of people I work with have English as second language. I think that has a lot to do with it.

Did you close the door?
Well, there are all sorts of doors, some doors are virtual, like emotional doors, where people shut each other out. Then there’s the door to my car, my house, the door to the battery compartment of my camera..... what if the door has a window in it, is it a window, or still a door?

Bob may have closed the door, instead of me, in which case the answer could be no, but the door is still closed.

Sometimes the door doesn’t latch, but it’s swung “closed”. That could be considered closed or open. Then there’s Schrödinger's door....

and that’s where I start interrupting them.
 
Last edited:
I often have to follow up with, “so is that a yes or a no?”

I don’t know if it’s a left or right brain thing or what. I don’t get accused of boxing them in, they just need to have long conversations, even if they’re the only ones talking.
 
Timely question as I have issues with my own employees' inability to answer questions succinctly with any authority or conviction, thus having to wade in to their convoluted diatribe to understand the context. I end up having to play 20 questions each and every time, especially when they come to me with a problem they want my opinion on. What's worse is that these are employees reporting up to a Sr. Manager, and that Sr. Manager reports to me. Yet they exhibit no concern or trepidation to come directly to me to demonstrate their lack of forethought which results in a line of questioning (and wasting of my time.)

What I am finding are that some employees shun accountability and are extremely transactional. They are there for the paycheck, and are focused only on their own actions. All things around them are of no consequence. They neither try to improve things for the department, company or team... it's all about coming in, doing the minimum, collecting their pay, and leaving.

I even spent time training the team on the Minto method to help with critical thinking to no avail.

To be fair, it's with the problem employees that this discourse continues with. I also have strong employees that perform admirably, and whose input I value.

It is not a left brain/right brain issue, nor is it a male/female issue. I believe it to be an employee attitude issue.

My employees who perform well take pride in their work, look to improve themselves, in learning about the subject they are representing, and ensure they can speak authoritatively on the topic. My employees who do not perform well do not care to learn more, nor do they desire to improve their professional skills, nor take any personal accountability. And like the OP, are offended by the line of questioning that attempts to get to the core of the issue (or even to answer the initial basic question.)
 
I'm of the camp of using questions such as "what can we do to make sure that that doesn't happen in the future?"
Sometimes I must say things such as, "Due to the fact that you failed to perform as you have promised, we can no longer use your services."
And lately it's been, "I'll recall you in two months, if business picks up, but certainly file for unemployment." That last one still hurts me.
I had to learn to be diplomatic; I was born with a binary brain: good/bad, right/wrong, up/down. Shades of grey are useful, I have learned.
 
I used to have a client that was a very senior exec at a steel company. He was pretty intimidating and most of his employees were scared to death of him. He would ask questions that he generally knew the answers to already. If he thought the answer was just a guess, he'd probe deeper. This generally resulted in the person at the receiving end just bringing more paper to the next meeting and then being confused as to why he got drilled even more. The folks that answered confidently (and correctly) rarely got the additional queries.
I was a consultant and frequently had folks that were well above my pay grade wanting to meet with this exec to "help me" to sell more services. I would extensively coach these folks on how to conduct the meeting. One of my hard and fast rules was, if the question had a yes or no answer, the first word out of your mouth had better be yes or no. I had to interrupt one of my bosses, bosses by telling him to stop talking, turn to my client and say "the answer to your question is no, he's just explaining why.
Please note, none of these people were millennials.
 
I'm mostly with @Let'sgoflying! - usually the best answer is the shortest.

However, I've run into trouble with what I call "The Serial Yes". This is where a potential client asks ten "Can the system do x?" questions and sales person says yes to all ten. Without informing them that it can do each of those things, but not all ten in the same configuration. Then I get to give the very long answer of which subsets can be yes and help them pick the best solution for their business.

Sure, that's a lot of what my job is, but 20+ years of hearing, "I don't know why so-and-so showed it to us and you can't make it work." So even I have been beaten down. I over answer questions when I could be brief, knowing full well that the answer will be misinterpreted into whatever they wanted to hear.

All this is conversational. You really want to hack me off? Use email!
from Rav to coworker: Were you able to close Jira ticket 23456?

from Coworker to Rav: I was on PTO yesterday and just got in. I have thirty-four tickets assigned to me. That one and four others are tagged critical but really only two of them are critical, so when I finish reviewing email and returning voicemail, I'll start on those two. I'll change yours to high and do it third.

From Rav to coworker: So you meant to say No, and that you disagree with my prioritization? I'll drop by in five minutes to discuss.
 
Last edited:
Walboy said:
Sometimes the best place to look for communication problems is in the mirror.
Click to expand...

In the 80's I learned that "Everyone is 100% responsible for their relationships."

[obviously that wasn't in a Calculus class]
 
Let'sgoflying! said:
I was discussing with employees a problem I have, in which I ask a simple question and 5 minutes of chat later I realize I am no further ahead, regarding knowledge on the topic, than when I’d started. To expedite the process, I try to make it easy for people by asking Y/N questions, realizing the occasional ‘I don’t know’, and other responses will have to be included in the mix as a potential and acceptable answers.
Maybe its a right brain vs left brain thing ....or could it be a M vs F thing? ...because at that point I was accused of “Boxing people in, with the wording of my questions”!
Um, “Did you leave the door open” or “Is the xx delivery on the back table?” a challenge or a threat, lol? I don’t understand (or have time for) a lengthy treatise on such simple concepts, how about an answer and let’s move on?

You guys are always good at showing me the error of my thoughts, so I throw this out.
Maybe there is a less ‘boxing’ way to get needed information these days?
Click to expand...

Maybe starting out with what is the unacceptable condition might be helpful. Is leaving the back door open so that the delivery can be placed on the table the expected action? Or is leaving the back door unsecured a security issue?

Sac: "We need to make sure the back door is secured."
Employee: "Okay."

Sac: "We have a recurring problem with the back door repeatedly being left open (or not left open.) In twenty words or less, can you summarize why you think this is happening?"
Employee: "It's Ralph's fault. He's careless." (e.g. the blame it on Ralph syndrome.)
Sac: "Then your responsibility now is to supervise Ralph and ensure that he secures the door properly. Next time it happens, it's on you."
 
I always knew @Sac Arrow was insane. He just pointed to individual responsibility AND delegation of authority in the same post.

[Been an amazing morning here on PoA]
 
You've just touched on one of my (and many other managers') pet peeves. I coach people all the time - state your answer in the correct units as implied by the question!

If I ask a "when" question, answer in units of time: hours, weeks, whatever. If I display shock and ask why it will take so long, then it's okay to launch into an explanation. But for crying out loud, please just give me the "when" answer before you start telling me about a late supplier, and Joe being out sick, and the defective item that had to be returned, et cetera ad infinitum.

Similarly, "cost" questions should be answered in dollars, or at least manhours. "Weight" questions should be in pounds or kilograms or whatever. And so on.

And it's okay to state a range, such as "six to eight weeks." But please, please just answer the question I've asked.
 
I'm the type who would give a yes/no answer, but I have found the asker of the question often wants me to expound.
 
Everskyward said:
I'm the type who would give a yes/no answer, but I have found the asker of the question often wants me to expound.
Click to expand...
Thats' fine. Answer yes/no, then expound. It's the "expounding" without ever answering the question that's annoying.

Some people think a question means they were asked to give a presentation:

Intro, body, conclusion.

No, unless analysis was requested, just give me the conclusion and let me dig in if needed.

Now if you're going to use the "say what you're going to say", "say it", "then say what you said", that works as long as you keep the initial to the point.

Here's the bottom line. The communication error is NOT on my side if I'm giving you 10 non-verbal and 5 verbal signs to shut up and get to the point and you completely ignore them and blather on endlessly.

This is why I hate working remote, the 10 non-verbal signs are harder to read over tele-conference.
 
Salty said:
Thats' fine. Answer yes/no, then expound. It's the "expounding" without ever answering the question that's annoying.
Click to expand...
That, and answering a different question than you were asked, just because you want to talk about that other thing.
 
I have two thoughts.

a) I will, when necessary, say - "I'm going to cross examine you now. Mostly that means yes or no answers."

ii) It helps if you use short declarative sentences. As sergeant Friday would say "just the facts ma'am." If they remember.
 
Salty said:
This is why I hate working remote, the 10 non-verbal signs are harder to read over tele-conference.
Click to expand...


Agreed.

I haven’t yet figured out how to throw a stapler at someone over a Skype call. It’s pretty frustrating.
 
rtk11 said:
I even spent time training the team on the Minto method to help with critical thinking to no avail.
Click to expand...

I lived Minto for my 22 years in consulting. Made all new team members do the training and carried the Pyramid Principle in my briefcase. Structured Communication and Issue-based Problem Solving were the two most used tools in my toolkit. A little blast from the past hearing that name.
 
rtk11 said:
What I am finding are that some employees shun accountability and are extremely transactional. They are there for the paycheck, and are focused only on their own actions. All things around them are of no consequence. They neither try to improve things for the department, company or team... it's all about coming in, doing the minimum, collecting their pay, and leaving.
Click to expand...

That's not unique to lower level employees by any means. I was a director at American Freightways, and reported to a VP who had no business being in the position that he was in. Then FedEx bought us out in 2001 and his main focus/goal became to never have his name mentioned in Memphis. He bobbed and weaved and had exactly one mission...to keep the job that he knew he was too incompetent to perform...to hell with the company, other employees, etc. Dennis was all about Dennis...no one else

My final straw with him was when he paid an asphalt contractor to keep them from calling Memphis. We had done a very large paving job at one of our facilities and I had written in the bid documents, and in the successful bidder's contract, that I would be core drilling the lot when complete to ensure that we received the thickness specified. If it wasn't at thick as specified then they would be paid proportionately. I guess the successful bidder didn't take me seriously and his average thickness was (IIRC) about 85% of the specified thickness. So I paid him 85% of his bid amount. He got in touch with this VP, claimed to know someone in Memphis, and threatened to call Memphis unless he was paid in full. This numb nuts VP paid them in full...behind my back...didn't even ask me about it.

I found out about it some days later and resigned that same day...or maybe the next...but very soon after finding out. It's been a few years now, 2004.
 
The inverse of this problem is people who ask a question that isn’t the real question. I get this all the time from employees. I try to answer their original question as directly as possible, but then follow-up with “but what do you really want to know?” Or “what are you really trying to do?”
 
I suppose it's better than "Did you close the f'in door, or do we work in a barn?"

I see no issue with the questions you posed, unless asked repeatedly - in which case I might respond with a very snarky (and not career-enhancing) answer.
 
Hang 4 said:
I lived Minto for my 22 years in consulting. Made all new team members do the training and carried the Pyramid Principle in my briefcase. Structured Communication and Issue-based Problem Solving were the two most used tools in my toolkit. A little blast from the past hearing that name.
Click to expand...

Me too - learnt skill from consulting. I made my current team learn it... and the problem children never used it.

I have one employee who, for whatever reason, loves to make up acronyms. That is my constant question to him: "What are you trying to tell me? I don't know this acronym, or have any reasonable belief it's a common acronym." His usual answer is, "I figured you know since it's the name of a sub-project to a larger project. Hahahaha, won't happen again Boss." Which, naturally, he does over and over again.

I am sorely tempted to send a meeting invite to him titled, "YAFGH" and have him guess that it means, "You Are Fired Go Home."
 
Hang 4 said:
I lived Minto for my 22 years in consulting. Made all new team members do the training and carried the Pyramid Principle in my briefcase. Structured Communication and Issue-based Problem Solving were the two most used tools in my toolkit. A little blast from the past hearing that name.
Click to expand...
Why do these new (maybe not so new) office terms grate on me? Luckily I didn't need to deal with the office much as I was a non-management pilot. Team, really? What happened to co-worker?
 
MauleSkinner said:
I often have to follow up with, “so is that a yes or a no?”
Click to expand...

Exactly.

I try to make it clear which type answer I want by the question I ask.

There are times when I ask Y/N questions. "Will you be finished with X by 5:00 today?" "Are you still planning to meet me at the airport at 8:00 tomorrow?"

I really want a Y/N response. If there is some nuance I need to know about, tell me after "Yes" or "No".

There are other times I'm looking for the longer response. "What do you think about....?"

Responding in the expected manner is always appreciated.
 
Everskyward said:
Why do these new (maybe not so new) office terms grate on me? Luckily I didn't need to deal with the office much as I was a non-management pilot. Team, really? What happened to co-worker?
Click to expand...
Agree, except in my case it was a team. I was in consulting, when we had a new project we formed a team to work on it. If a co-worker was on one of my teams, they usually referred to themselves as on the XYZ Project team. Not a new term in this use.
 
Everskyward said:
Team, really? What happened to co-worker?
Click to expand...

Team never bothered me as much as the Disney term "Cast Member." 'cause you know the guy selling hot dogs is part of the show, right? Nobody asked for my autograph when I worked there and I don't get any royalty checks ;)
 
Anyone who couldn't answer a question without "chat" found themselves working on other projects with other teams.
On time, on budget starts with the first conversation.
 
Isn’t this the classic “I asked what time it is and I was told how to design, engineer and build a watch”? I learned working for CEO’s they generally want a simple straight-forward answer and in my business (law) it’s always a bit more nuanced since like medicine nothing is guaranteed. So the challenge was how to meet the expectations (yes or no) and not give too many “maybe so” type answers. I found outside attorneys were the worst. Always wanted to impress the CEO or the Board with how smart they were. Most of those folks don’t have the time or the inclination to sit through something like that. The very best CEO’s I worked for could smell BS from 5 miles away. You might BS her once, but never twice. I now work a a volunteer attorney in the non profit world. Way different culture and the model seems to be the consensus model that was largely imported from the European Union. Way different culture and long winded answers seem to be the norm.
 
I’ve been hit with a number of “yes/no” questions over the years where the correct answer is a question...

“Today, no. When do you need it?”

You stop there and wait.

“Today.”

“Six months, maybe. Want to discuss now, or should I schedule a meeting. I’m open.”

Pretty common in engineering when chatting with an exec who needs something.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top