ASK MARLEY KINGSTON A QUESTION DAY
"So, Marley, I notice a lot when you perform Santeria rituals, you place goat heads and dead chickens on the table. Wouldn't you rather line them up with heads of congressmen?"
"No mon, you're going about it entirely the wrong way. How can I explain it. Let's say you're a god, and I'm a follower with a large cancer on my leg which threatens to kill me. If I hacked off that cancer, and gave it to you as an offering, you wouldn't be very happy, would you? Now on the other hand, let's say I gave you as an offering, a deep dish Chicago pizza with bacon on it. You would be very happy, and might be inclined to make my cancer go away."
"Yeah, good point. So, do you think we could use Santeria as a means of purging our current set of politicians?"
"I don' know mon, that is asking a lot. I suspect there are not enough cattle present in the continental United States to accomplish that through Santeria."