I seem to have lost my nerve

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I recently found out that I was flight training while inadequately insured. The thought of if something had happened to me during that time that my family would have been left financially vulnerable has me more than a bit shaken. I'm feeling guilty for having taken such a risk, not knowing for sure that my affairs were in order. I've since taken care of the life insurance issue, but now I'm having trouble getting the courage to resume my training. I'm constantly reassessing this desire in me to become a Pilot. I still feel like it's something I have to do, but now I'm somewhere between trying to rationalize the risk and expense and convincing myself that it's enough that my family will be okay financially if something happens to me. I'm at a crossroads and can't seem to proceed.
 
It sounds like you may have been less than fully prepared for your families needs even prior to private flying?

In any event, get fully prepared first and then fly safely with qualified pilots and you'll probably have the best time of your life.
 
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if you see flying as a particularly risky activity then you are doing it wrong. do you also dread driving to work every day?
 
Dave Krall CFII said:
It sounds like you may have been less than fully prepared for your families needs even prior to private flying?

In any event, get fully prepared first and then fly safely with qualified pilots and you'll probably have the best time of your life.
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Sounds like he found out that General Aviation isn't covered under most life insurance policies.
 
It's not the insurance. OP said he (she) has that fixed now.

Also, EAA offers supplemental D&D insurance. AOPA probably does, too. The insurance company that my credit union deals with will issue a rider for an additional premium. So will most others. So it's not about insurance. That can be had. It just costs a bit of money that actually is pretty trivial compared to all the other costs of flying.

Personally, I believe either (1) OP is feeling some guilt about not having dealt with this already, (2) has come to realize that flying does carry some risk and is weighing that risk against his/her family obligations, or (3) simply hasn't found flying to be his / her cup of tea.

Look, everyone has their fears. I've been through enough **** in my life that there aren't that many fears left. But there are a few. For example, I'm terrified of motorcycles. That's because at this point in my life, I'm less afraid of dying than I am of being maimed or paralyzed.

Whether we like it or not, death is on all of our agendas. Right there on the bottom. The very last line, in fact. So we prepare for it, and depending upon our own unique situations, we decide how much we want to tempt it.

In my case, no one is financially dependent upon me any more. My insurance would go far beyond paying my debts and covering my burial (assuming that anything's left to bury); so whatever hardship my loved ones would experience would be limited to emotional grief. And you know what? That's inevitable, anyway. Last I heard, none of us get out of here alive.

So I'm willing to take greater risks with my life than I would have been a couple of decades ago. But being maimed, or paralyzed, or something along those lines... that terrifies me. And it's that fear that has kept me away from motorcycles after several tries. At some point, I decided that if I were going to be terrified every time I mounted a bike, then probably I shouldn't be doing that, anyway.

I have no idea what OP's problem is. I'm not even sure that it's fear. Maybe he or she just doesn't like flying as much as he or she thought he or she would. (Inclusive language is such a pain...) OP needs to determine what the obstacle is, and decide whether to overcome it, or to give in to it, based on his or her situation in life, at this moment in time.

But the one thing I'm sure of is that that the OP's situation has nothing to do with insurance.

-Rich
 
Rich, I'll immodestly say that I'm a very well-read person.

If you'll excuse that admittedly arrogant self-appraisal, I have to say that you are really an excellent writer. Do you have any books or articles available? If not, I think you should consider writing for more than just a webboard!

RJM62 said:
It's not the insurance. OP said he (she) has that fixed now.

Also, EAA offers supplemental D&D insurance. AOPA probably does, too. The insurance company that my credit union deals with will issue a rider for an additional premium. So will most others. So it's not about insurance. That can be had. It just costs a bit of money that actually is pretty trivial compared to all the other costs of flying.

Personally, I believe either (1) OP is feeling some guilt about not having dealt with this already, (2) has come to realize that flying does carry some risk and is weighing that risk against his/her family obligations, or (3) simply hasn't found flying to be his / her cup of tea.

Look, everyone has their fears. I've been through enough **** in my life that there aren't that many fears left. But there are a few. For example, I'm terrified of motorcycles. That's because at this point in my life, I'm less afraid of dying than I am of being maimed or paralyzed.

Whether we like it or not, death is on all of our agendas. Right there on the bottom. The very last line, in fact. So we prepare for it, and depending upon our own unique situations, we decide how much we want to tempt it.

In my case, no one is financially dependent upon me any more. My insurance would go far beyond paying my debts and covering my burial (assuming that anything's left to bury); so whatever hardship my loved ones would experience would be limited to emotional grief. And you know what? That's inevitable, anyway. Last I heard, none of us get out of here alive.

So I'm willing to take greater risks with my life than I would have been a couple of decades ago. But being maimed, or paralyzed, or something along those lines... that terrifies me. And it's that fear that has kept me away from motorcycles after several tries. At some point, I decided that if I were going to be terrified every time I mounted a bike, then probably I shouldn't be doing that, anyway.

I have no idea what OP's problem is. I'm not even sure that it's fear. Maybe he or she just doesn't like flying as much as he or she thought he or she would. (Inclusive language is such a pain...) OP needs to determine what the obstacle is, and decide whether to overcome it, or to give in to it, based on his or her situation in life, at this moment in time.

But the one thing I'm sure of is that that the OP's situation has nothing to do with insurance.

-Rich
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Try the section of the store where they sell big boy pants.
 
RJM62 said:
But being maimed, or paralyzed, or something along those lines... that terrifies me.
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Hmm - while your post is good, I'm not sure your own fear is quite consistent with flying. Do you believe that airplane accidents rarely permanently maim or paralyze the occupants? That they either kill outright or leave the occupants with injuries that heal?

As to the OP - I believe it is common advise that one "face one's fears." Repetition of something with nothing bad happening should at least remove negative associations - if not generate positive associations - provided some effort is done on your part to establish those associations.
 
While I cannot talk specifically for the OP, I can talk about my situation. I'm 37. I have almost 100 jumps from an airplane, over 200 SCUBA dives. I've been to Iraq, Afghanistan, Bosnia, Kosovo, and been on several military deployments. I started having my kids late, at 34 and I will say, while I don't fear death. I do fear leaving my wife and kids. I want to be their for them and I want to see how they turn out! So to take unnecessary risks now is not an option. I no longer ride a motorcycle because I hate other drivers and I don't fly (we are about to have a 3rd kid and don't really have time or $$). On top of that I WILL NOT RENT AN AIRPLANE! Nor buy a cheap 172/mooney/ etc.
 
Insurance is not the reason
Just a short while ago, the worst stretch of GA deaths I've ever seen happened in a short concentrated time all around that one weekend that saw like 13 people killed. I guess my insurance discovery just put right square in front of me what kind of a limb I was stepping out on. I'm not afraid to die but like any Dad would, I feel an obligation to self preserve in order to be around for my offspring, so doing something "stupid" or particularly risky is not in the best interest of my kids. The thing is, I've never thought of taking flight lessons as doing something particularly risky until this insurance oversight.
 
8400 hours of operation over 40 year.
You simply manage risk. You always ask,
"do I need to make this flight today (under these conditions".
"how will the accident report appear"

Yes it could happen to me, but I won't give it any larger a slice of a chance than is rational.

See my posts on the loading and weight mgmt. of the light twin.
 
spiderweb said:
Rich, I'll immodestly say that I'm a very well-read person.

If you'll excuse that admittedly arrogant self-appraisal, I have to say that you are really an excellent writer. Do you have any books or articles available? If not, I think you should consider writing for more than just a webboard!
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Thanks. I appreciate your comment. English Comp was probably the only thing I learned in college that has been consistently useful.

I actually did start writing a book about Robert Moses, which I should pick up again now that I have the time. I've also written a bunch of instruction and tech manuals under contract over the years, and have re-written a few scholarly reports by very smart people who weren't very good writers. And of course, I write or re-write most of the content for my clients' Web sites.

Maybe a novel is in the future... who knows.

-Rich
 
RJM62 said:
Thanks. I appreciate your comment. English Comp was probably the only thing I learned in college that has been consistently useful.

I actually did start writing a book about Robert Moses, which I should pick up again now that I have the time. I've also written a bunch of instruction and tech manuals under contract over the years, and have re-written a few scholarly reports by very smart people who weren't very good writers. And of course, I write or re-write most of the content for my clients' Web sites.

Maybe a novel is in the future... who knows.

-Rich
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How about a bird training book? ;)

I agree with Ben :eek:, I like reading your posts.
 
Jim Logajan said:
Hmm - while your post is good, I'm not sure your own fear is quite consistent with flying. Do you believe that airplane accidents rarely permanently maim or paralyze the occupants? That they either kill outright or leave the occupants with injuries that heal?

As to the OP - I believe it is common advise that one "face one's fears." Repetition of something with nothing bad happening should at least remove negative associations - if not generate positive associations - provided some effort is done on your part to establish those associations.
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I never said my fears were rational. :rolleyes2:

I think the bases for the relative fears have to do with my having been an EMS volunteer and having seen a lot of maimed bikers. I have not seen that among my pilot friends and acquaintances, however. Those who've gotten into really hairy situations have either walked away from them unscathed or with minor bumps and bruises, or they've checked out.

So basically, I know the middle ground exists; but based on my experiences and observations, it seems like bikers are more likely than pilots to wind up there. It this rational? Probably not. But I never claimed it was.

-Rich
 
Unregistered said:
I recently found out that I was flight training while inadequately insured. The thought of if something had happened to me during that time that my family would have been left financially vulnerable has me more than a bit shaken. I'm feeling guilty for having taken such a risk, not knowing for sure that my affairs were in order. I've since taken care of the life insurance issue, but now I'm having trouble getting the courage to resume my training. I'm constantly reassessing this desire in me to become a Pilot. I still feel like it's something I have to do, but now I'm somewhere between trying to rationalize the risk and expense and convincing myself that it's enough that my family will be okay financially if something happens to me. I'm at a crossroads and can't seem to proceed.
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We are all gonna die someday. There is a date out there with your name on it. The question becomes did you do enough living before you died.

If you have to assess your desire to become a pilot, it is too late. I suggest you stop flying until your kids are older, and you are more comfortable with the risk.

Flying is not for everyone. :no:
 
I was infected with a love of flying at a very young age. I felt I had to give it up to do the things required , mortgage,family, work. I filled some of the void with, less than constructive, behaviors. I'm looking back and wish I had wasted all that energy in aviation. I'm older now and have begun to fulfill those dreams of youth only to find my time is shorter than before. I really enjoy aviation as a hobby. I'm never required to make a flight. I do it because it is enjoyable to me and those in my family who choose to share it with me.
Flying has been a dream of mankind since we were dressing in bird costumes and dancing around the communal fire. Live the dream, dreamers have broken ground for future generations for all time. There may be no greater leadership you could provide as head of your family than to show them where they can go in life, with or without you.
 
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Men are disposable, women perishable. Is your wife still reasonable attractive? If so you can be replaced easy enough. Heck your wife probably has a replacement in mind.
Unregistered said:
Insurance is not the reason
Just a short while ago, the worst stretch of GA deaths I've ever seen happened in a short concentrated time all around that one weekend that saw like 13 people killed. I guess my insurance discovery just put right square in front of me what kind of a limb I was stepping out on. I'm not afraid to die but like any Dad would, I feel an obligation to self preserve in order to be around for my offspring, so doing something "stupid" or particularly risky is not in the best interest of my kids. The thing is, I've never thought of taking flight lessons as doing something particularly risky until this insurance oversight.
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You really need to do a brain recalibration.
Flying (or driving, or plugging in your toaster, or starting the furnace/AC in the morning) isn't supposed to be a "bravery/moment in courage" activity.
Maybe you are concerned having been introduced to a 3D (vs normal 2D) world and haven't learned how to handle the Z axis yet.
It will get comfortable in time, after getting over the feeling of intimidation.
 
Sleepingsquirrel said:
I was infected with a love of flying at a very young age. I felt I had to give it up to do the things required , mortgage,family, work. I filled some of the void with, less than constructive, behaviors. I'm looking back and wish I had wasted all that energy in aviation. I'm older now and have begun to fulfill those dreams of youth only to find my time is shorter than before. I really enjoy aviation as a hobby. I'm never required to make a flight. I do it because it is enjoyable to me and those in my family who choose to share it with me.
Flying has been a dream of mankind since we were dressing in bird costumes and dancing around the communal fire. Live the dream, dreamers have broken ground for future generations for all time. There may be no greater leadership you could provide as head of your family than to show them where they can go in life, with or without you.
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My experience is very similar to yours. When I was a little three or four year old boy and saw my first airplane in the sky, I knew that I wanted to be up there flying. I was 32 years old when I made that dream a reality.
I had a wife and young kids by then.

It wasn't until I actually started taking lessons, that the reality of the risk began to weigh on my mind. I'm glad that those thoughts weren't strong enough to put out the fire and passion in my heart and soul. What they did was make me a very safety conscious pilot that don't take shortcuts!

As a young student, I had neither adequate aviation life insurance nor aircraft renter's insurance (I'm a renter). When I realized how stupid that was, I rectified the situation.

As others have said, it's all about managing risk. If the risk is greater than the reward (at any particular time), I stay on the ground or land (if in the air).

To me, controlled flight is the greatest thing that the human being has ever achieved! I'm so glad that I will not die wishing.
 
Unregistered said:
Insurance is not the reason
Just a short while ago, the worst stretch of GA deaths I've ever seen happened in a short concentrated time all around that one weekend that saw like 13 people killed. I guess my insurance discovery just put right square in front of me what kind of a limb I was stepping out on. I'm not afraid to die but like any Dad would, I feel an obligation to self preserve in order to be around for my offspring, so doing something "stupid" or particularly risky is not in the best interest of my kids. The thing is, I've never thought of taking flight lessons as doing something particularly risky until this insurance oversight.
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There is this "drinking from a fire hose" phenomenon I've heard so much about in the early phases of flight training and I see how it can be intimidating and even discouraging, but not to the point that I won't continue to train. My busy schedule has caused me to train much less frequent than I'd like and I hear those voices sometimes saying give up, but I won't because this is something that I want. In the meantime, I read everything I can find while between lessons, just to stay attuned to GA. I remember that crazy week where it seemed like mistake was being made after mistake by very experienced Pilots and it caught my attention as well but had the opposite effect on me. As a matter of fact, accidents, incidents and the like draw me closer to general aviation because there's always a reason an accident happens. It can always be explained, which means there is always a lesson there. That encourages me.
To the OP, you might just need to get back in the batter's box, so to speak, so you can realize that the "limb" you speak of is strengthened every day by the further development of checklists, ever improving safety standards and yes, invaluable lessons learned from other's mistakes.
 
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