I need some creative help

Timbeck2

Timbeck2

Final Approach
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Vail, Arizona
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Timbeck2
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Without getting political, I need some help coming up with five bullet statements each week for the foreseeable future. Yes, I got the “what did you do last week” email.
As a lot of you know, I’m an air traffic controller and it should be obvious, however I’m saddled with this task.
Last week one of my coworkers went into great detail about the various things he did. I was more conservative and succinct in my answers. I don’t know who if anyone reads these things but unlike another controller I know who just wrote “air traffic controller” five times and sent it in, I feel like I should not only add color to it but convey the utter rediculousness of the question.
So with the amount of smartasses on this forum, please give me examples of what I should write. I’ve already used, “kept this guy from crashing into that guy”. But I will use it again because that is what I do.
 
I'm not sure what position/facility you work and I apologise for not being the educated mule (except at the end)


Worked X number of 8? hour shifts at -----

Provided separation services to N number of aircraft in my area of responsibility

If working a tower, you can include the boring task of setting up the ATIS

Did you do any training/mentoring - taking refresher training yourself?

Helped whatever number of lost aircraft bumbling into your airspace.

Handled any emergencies and pan-pan calls?

provided clearances and amended clearances

Amended clearances as needed to handle adverse weather (thunderboomers, icing, severe turbulence)


The wisenheimer would put together either (1) five bullets and resubmit them everytime or (2) more than 5 bullet points and just select a random 5 each time.
 
I'm glad you asked! I will be here all week.

coffee / brekkie / elevensies / lunch / tea

sleep 8 hours / work 8 hours / play 8 hours / consume / obey

prepared for meetings / attended meetings / compliance training / work planning / effort reporting

yoga / mindfulness / meditation / jogging / reiki

answered questions in outlook / answered questions in jira / answered questions in confluence / answered questions in slack / answered questions in github
 
Since you have a personal interest in the future of GA, do not make any reports of pilots not following ATC instructions.

Do give an accurate estimate of the number of instructions that you transmitted

Do give an accurate estimate of the number of discrete aircraft that received instructions from you, and complied.
This recognizes that you direct an individual aircraft multiple times before they leave your control.
 
Bob Noel said:
I'm not sure what position/facility you work and I apologise for not being the educated mule (except at the end)


Worked X number of 8? hour shifts at -----

Provided separation services to N number of aircraft in my area of responsibility

If working a tower, you can include the boring task of setting up the ATIS

Did you do any training/mentoring - taking refresher training yourself?

Helped whatever number of lost aircraft bumbling into your airspace.

Handled any emergencies and pan-pan calls?

provided clearances and amended clearances

Amended clearances as needed to handle adverse weather (thunderboomers, icing, severe turbulence)


The wisenheimer would put together either (1) five bullets and resubmit them everytime or (2) more than 5 bullet points and just select a random 5 each time.
Click to expand...
What's the level of effort required to compile some of these metrics on an ongoing basis, which will be added on top of an already dense workload? Are these things that are already tracked by default?

Requiring an ATC reply to this email, from someone outside of his chain of command nonetheless, is certifiable crazytown.
 
Last edited:
Told an aircraft pilot they were cleared to land
Told an aircraft pilot they were not cleared to land
Told an aircraft pilot they could take off
Told an aircraft pilot they could not take off
Told a fuel truck they could cross a runway
Told a fuel truck they could not cross a runway
Using binoculars, observed an aircraft
Using binoculars, observed birds, deer, and coyote in vicinity of airport
Successfully contained dinner to allotted break time
Single handedly maintained the integrity of the NAS around and above the airport
Efficiently operated electric grid powered radar viewing device
Using approved manufacturer procedure and FAA approved communication techniques, commenced numerous radio transmissions to secure airspace
Tracked, summarized, and shared examples of successfully performing all assigned work duties, including stretch goals required for future advancement


I do like the idea of just using an AI. *laugh*
 
Bob Noel said:
The wisenheimer would put together either (1) five bullets and resubmit them everytime or (2) more than 5 bullet points and just select a random 5 each time.
Click to expand...
How many federal employees are required to do this, vs. what sort of checking is being performed? Either some sort of keywords are being looked for, or only the reports of those already being considered for firing are actually looked at.

Suspect, in the current environment, controllers should be safe, unless they're just firing people irrespective of jobs they do.

I'd put stuff like "Ensured safe arrival of over 100,000 airline passengers...." etc.

Like Bob said, you could probably just repeat it every time. If you do a report with numbers, all, you'd have to do is adjust the numbers slightly between reports.

Ron Wanttaja
 
True - no human will see any of the 5 bullets from any Department. Anything else I wish to add would get me not only locked out, but my account deleted.

 
I suspect the only way to "fail" this test is to not respond. To the extent it's anything other than a PR stunt, they're looking for people who either a)refuse to respond out of defiance or b)aren't even bothering to check their email.
 
Jim K said:
I suspect the only way to "fail" this test is to not respond. To the extent it's anything other than a PR stunt, they're looking for people who either a)refuse to respond out of defiance or b)aren't even bothering to check their email.
Click to expand...
Or c) are dead, but their spouse is still cashing the paychecks.
 
Here’s a few:

Used my innately superior spatial relations aptitude to almost instantly analyze multiple objects presented on a two dimensional video screen, understanding where they are in 3d space related to the track I’ve determined they should be traversing, while also considering their present position relative to each other, their paths relative to each other, their vertical separation relative to each other and terrain plus other ground based objects.

With this in mind I communicated with said object’s operators, in an order that I determined using my highly developed organizational skills to address the most urgent need, ensuring that need is addressed first, instructing said object operator what I needed him to do to ensure that the object continues on a safe path to its desired destination.

I then used my superiorly developed level of patience to repeat these very important instructions because rather than listening for me, said operator was meowing on guard.
 
This is good. I got about a months worth so far. Keep em coming, the more snarky the better
 
Averted imminent collision between aircraft type A and type B worth x million dollars and potentially x lives.

Not even a lie depending on your definition of "imminent"
 
Reminds me of my last year at Boeing. One of the criteria added to our performance evaluation was safety...to "well exceed requirements," we had to report at least five safety hazards each year.

Several of my fellow engineers got a bit worried about this one. Me, I have a dark view of the world, and could see a hazards in nearly every situation.

"Unsecured carpet is a trip hazard."
"Biohazard due to local hawks shredding their prey over the parking lot."
"Light bulb burned out over entry."
"Safety wire on emergency exit doors in the secure area too thick for lightweight women to overpower."
...and so forth.

I ended up with a list of about twenty. Used five for myself, and emailed the rest of the list to my buddies for them to use.

Ron Wanttaja
 
OK, this brings up a question
what, if any, metrics are recorded anyway in your job?​
I'm thinking things like​
- counts of aircraft handled, vfr and ifr?​
- number of radio transmissions?​
- discrete radar targets in your sector?​
- how many aircraft passed within a certain distance of each other​
​
If nothing like this is recorded,
it seems to me that the baseline bullet point is
- manned sector xyz radar and radio for H hours
I mean really, that seems like it's the job and it's justifiably necessary even if you only worked two aircraft the entire shift.... you're there and ready in case you're needed.​

then after that it would be all the other little things
- trained a new controller
- assisted _____
- gave a tour to ______
- attended a safety meeting
- submitted xyz paperwork
- diverted disaster by turning off the empty coffee pot
- etc.
 
Coordinated the safe departure on United XXX from Kxxx
Coordinated the safe arrival of Delta XXX to KXX
Coordinated the safe departure on Gulfstream XXX from Kxxx
(That was just part of the 1st 6 minutes of my week)
Did your Job of documenting some of what I do? There are hours of weekly recordings you can review of what I accomplished?
Kept those ATC recordings from becoming Front Page News.
 
I dont do well with stupid missives from on high so my list would be snarky bullshift .

1. Met and/or exceeded ATC job requirements.
2. Ran a chat gpt query for description of job to insert into future emails
3. Thought of things to send in this email.
4.typed up email
5. Had to stop my normal safety sensitive job duties to send email.
 
Absurd rigamarole, sorry you're being put through it. My response each week would be:

1. planes no crashy
2. planes no crashy
3. planes no crashy
4. planes no crashy
5. planes no crashy

Repeat until untrue. :P
 
1. Used binoculars to view topless blonde in back yard hot tub
2. Flashed light gun signals to nearby roadway intersection to the beat of techno music
3. Admonished student pilot and let incident go after giving her a private "tour of the tower" in exchange for benefits
4. Rapped a landing clearance to a King Air on a nearby airport's tower freq
5. Sang David Bowie's Major Tom over ground freq
 
"
1. If you question the importance of air traffic controllers, try going without us for a week.
2. If you question the importance of air traffic controllers, try going without us for a week.
3. If you question the importance of air traffic controllers, try going without us for a week.
4. If you question the importance of air traffic controllers, try going without us for a week.
5. If you question the importance of air traffic controllers, try going without us for a week."
 
Any potential pilot deviations you prevented?
 
Assuming your work week starts at 8am on Monday (if not, substitute your actual scheduled times).

Monday 8:00:00 am. Provided IFR clearance and route to N12345.
Monday 8;00:40 am. Gave N12346 clearance to take off.
Monday 8:01:10 am. Gave transient pilot in N12347 altimeter reading on handoff.
Monday 8:01:25 am. Advised N12348 of traffic at his altitude, 12 O'clock 1 nm away head in his direction. Advised him to turn 90degrees to the left NOW. Both airplanes survived.
Monday 8:02:10 am. Responded to request from N1234A

Rest of the hour, day, week, pretty much the same.
 
Kept an army helicopter on a training flight from impacting an airliner on short final.
 
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