How I almost became a headline in Phoenix

SkyHog

SkyHog

Touchdown! Greaser!
Joined
Feb 23, 2005
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18,431
Location
Castle Rock, CO
Display Name
Display name:
Everything Offends Me
True story:

On Sunday, Michael and April drove me down to Phoenix to take a commercial flight back to Albuquerque. When I got into the airport, my phone was 100% dead, so I figured I'd charge it. But where is my charger? Its not in my suitcase, that's odd. That's where I usually put it. Its not in my guitar case. Guess I'll check my flight bag, which I am carrying on.

I dig through the bag, no phone charger. But what I do find, at the bottom, underneath my kneeboard, was a GIANT fillet knife.

So had my phone not beeped right then, and had I not decided to search for my phone charger, I would have gone through security with a giant fillet knife in my carryon. The same bag with a bunch of pilot supplies, including the chart for the area in which the commercial flight was flying. Oh, and I had a copy of Flight Simulator with me in the bag.

The knife would have looked like I was hiding it beneath my kneeboard.

I dodged a bullet.
 
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Well if you had not caught it let me just say that with your hair color orange will work for you. And I read in Esquire that jumpsuits are slimming. How do you feel about an all expenses paid relocation to the tropics courtesy of Uncle Sam??

Same thing almost happened to me earlier this year when I had forgotten two steak knives in my briefcase from our Christmas potluck.
 
Nick,

Did you have the knife both ways? You are getting good at dodgeing bullets latley.
 
smigaldi said:
Same thing almost happened to me earlier this year when I had forgotten two steak knives in my briefcase from our Christmas potluck.
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Did you have your pilot stuff with you too? I suspect with the pilot stuff, they would assume that I had intended to fly the plane at some point. Ugh.

rmciottijr said:
Nick,

Did you have the knife both ways? You are getting good at dodgeing bullets latley.
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We flew GA out to Lake Havasu, commercial back. Thank god.
 
I've been there. You get pulled aside at security and they ask you "Is there anything in this bag that could hurt me?"

As long as you're not too scary looking, they tell ya to go check it in. :)

Its the second time through they get mad.
 
lol, I guess they never found the drugs we planted in your bag.
 
I understand a similar thing happened to Jesse this past weekend.....booeeuuu
 
i lost a pocket knife at the gate of the Paul McCartney concert I went to. Lucky security guard...
 
Steve said:
I understand a similar thing happened to Jesse this past weekend.....booeeuuu
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True story.

I got up to the security checkpoint.. Looked in my bag... Saw a pretty large knife that was in one of the pockets...almost had a heart attack...bailed out of the line.. got to my car.. put it somewhere. checked all my luggage...and went back.

a few steps away from a big ****ing mess.
 
why were you carrying a fillet knife? I can see pocket knife, etc - but what would you DO on vacation with a fillet knife?
 
woodstock said:
why were you carrying a fillet knife? I can see pocket knife, etc - but what would you DO on vacation with a fillet knife?
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It has likely been in there for a while. I think I brought it to Gastons with me in case I did any fishing. That means I had it in my carry on when I flew home from Minneapolis and when I flew back up to Minneapolis commecially.
 
woodstock said:
why were you carrying a fillet knife? I can see pocket knife, etc - but what would you DO on vacation with a fillet knife?
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During the fall and winter, I pretty much leave my tackle box with a large fillet knife in it, in my truck. Since I fish most weekends during that time, I just leave it there instead of taking in and out of the truck every time. I can see how Nick could have forgotten he had it.
 
SkyHog said:
It has likely been in there for a while. I think I brought it to Gastons with me in case I did any fishing. That means I had it in my carry on when I flew home from Minneapolis and when I flew back up to Minneapolis commecially.
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They're so busy looking for 3.5 ounce bottles of water that they're missing the big stuff. I know of someone that had a large butcher's knife in her bag for 25+ flights, including international destinations.
 
wsuffa said:
They're so busy looking for 3.5 ounce bottles of water that they're missing the big stuff. I know of someone that had a large butcher's knife in her bag for 25+ flights, including international destinations.
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but you can bet they had no toothpaste or water on them!! thank God we are all safe from the toothpaste.

you are right - when you make the number of things to look at SO big, they will start missing things.

who knows, maybe that is why they did that last summer. pelt them with enough things to look for and miss the big stuff.
 
jesse said:
True story.

I got up to the security checkpoint

a few steps away from a big ****ing mess.
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Monday, I almost pulled the same boner. I was in line, two back, and realized my 3-1/2" Benchmark Doug Ritter lockback was still in its holster on my belt. YIKES! RUN back to the truck and lock it away, RUN back thru the airport. Just make it, a drippy sweaty mess.
 
You may now carry big, honkin' fillet knives on commercial flights as long as you file a flight plan so ATC can control you...:D

Glad you caught your knife before los federales caught it!:rolleyes:

Jim
 
woodstock said:
but you can bet they had no toothpaste or water on them!! thank God we are all safe from the toothpaste.

you are right - when you make the number of things to look at SO big, they will start missing things.

who knows, maybe that is why they did that last summer. pelt them with enough things to look for and miss the big stuff.
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I saw 'em take a half-full 5 ounce bottle labeled "Holy Water" away from a soldier headed back to the sandbox. IMHO, that was going too far.
 
wsuffa said:
I saw 'em take a half-full 5 ounce bottle labeled "Holy Water" away from a soldier headed back to the sandbox. IMHO, that was going too far.
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Hah, I think they crossed that line (going too far in nonsensical directions) a long time ago.
 
lancefisher said:
Hah, I think they crossed that line (going too far in nonsensical directions) a long time ago.
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Especially when all signs in the U.K. are pointing to the original "imminent threat" of using liquid in an attack was overblown technically and the group arrested had no ability or plans to attack.

Shall we count the number of "cells" that turned into "ummm.....nevermind"?
 
I got to the metal detector when I remembered I had a pocket knife and a Leatherman tool. I was working that day out of town and had to run to the airport to catch my flight home, I just forgot I had that stuff on me. TSA guy at the scanners didn't make a big deal about it, just said I could go back to the front desk and have it mailed to me. Problem was, it was a 45 minute round trip back to the front of the airport and my flight left in 25. I guess I could have changed to a later flight, but the charge for that was more than the items I was going to have to throw away. Some TSA guy got to keep my stuff (even thought they say they won't).
 
Frank Browne said:
Does anyone believe those people don't rummage through all the confiscated items and take what they want.
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You mean the government approved, investigated, background checked, officers of the TSA might be a little less than honorable. Shocked I am at that statement :no::no::no:


BTW a fun web site http://www.homelandstupidity.us/
 
Hey, now THERE'S an idea! Need an x-ray? Buy a refundable ticket, go thru the line, hop up on the belt and run your leg thru the machine! Turn in your ticket for a refund and voila! Free x-ray!
 
Matthew said:
I got to the metal detector when I remembered I had a pocket knife and a Leatherman tool. I was working that day out of town and had to run to the airport to catch my flight home, I just forgot I had that stuff on me. TSA guy at the scanners didn't make a big deal about it, just said I could go back to the front desk and have it mailed to me. Problem was, it was a 45 minute round trip back to the front of the airport and my flight left in 25. I guess I could have changed to a later flight, but the charge for that was more than the items I was going to have to throw away. Some TSA guy got to keep my stuff (even thought they say they won't).
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At Philadelphia, you don't get to mail it. I forgot to take my "official corporate trade-show" Swiss army knife off my key chain, and I had only a carry-on bag. I asked if I could mail it to my self- answer was "no". It was one of those 1.5 inch mini knives with with a screw driver blade and scissors with our corporate logo. We used them for opening boxes sealed with tape when setting up trade shows.

To add to the indignity, the airline took the carry-on away so I had to pick it up in checked luggage in Boston- I shoulda just checked it to begin with!
 
Security wanted to confiscate my Swiss Army knife when I went through screening to board the USS Constitution in Boston. They wouldn't even hold it for me during the time I was on board and warned me not to hide it somewhere in the park. I ended up taking it back to the car.

So what did they think I was going to do with it? Hijack a sailing ship? Cut through the rigging?
 
Everskyward said:
Security wanted to confiscate my Swiss Army knife when I went through screening to board the USS Constitution in Boston. They wouldn't even hold it for me during the time I was on board and warned me not to hide it somewhere in the park. I ended up taking it back to the car.

So what did they think I was going to do with it? Hijack a sailing ship? Cut through the rigging?
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Carve your name into a bulkhead? Chunk out a piece of Ol Ironsides to take home?
 
Richard said:
Carve your name into a bulkhead? Chunk out a piece of Ol Ironsides to take home?
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If the ship lives up to her name, my little pocketknife wouldn't have made a scratch. :rolleyes:
 
The most pathetic scene I witnessed (it was several years ago, but still post-Sep 11) was when a 'little old lady' was standing in front of my wife and I at the security line and two TSA agents had taken a pair of tweezers from her bag and were taking turns poking each other asking "does this feel sharp to you?". No, they were not playing around, they were serious.
 
gprellwitz said:
This sort of thing will do much to get people to start using GA! :mad:
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That, and when they keep you on the plane for 9 hours.

The AGATE equation is changing to the point that GA wins for about any flight in the continental U.S.

We are planning to fly GA to California in September.
 
smigaldi said:
Well at least it was not the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. That would have been bad if it had gone off:rolleyes:
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Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.:goofy:
 
I have a friend who recently went through a TSA security check with his relief band because he gets airsick even on commercial flights. They spotted the electro-gel that makes it work and since the small tube of gel wasn't in a quart-sized ziplock bag they confiscated it. They did let him squeeze some onto his wrist first, though.
He probably could have made it through with a knife, too.
 
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