Help with Vet friend

I was gonna shut up. . . .for some it fades with time; normalcy returns, it gets better, without action. That's been true for two people in my immediate family. But not for everyone. Not everyone who put on boots is suited for it, but there's no reliable way to tell in advance. I hope you can get him to the VA.

PS
"Thou shall not kill" - an Air Force chaplain told me it was a sloppy translation from the ancient Aramaic, and the literal meaning was "Thu shall not murder", as in the cultural, legal sense. War is Hell, but not necessarily murder.

Then again, he might have been trying to make me fell better.
 
Sundancer said:
the literal meaning was "Thu shall not murder"
Click to expand...
That's the way I've understood it. I would guess that Shep's appeal to Scripture addresses the translation. This isn't the place but I would like to hear his defense of military service sometime.
 
James331 said:
Sounds like he needs a break away from the woman, maybe find a new one, but a nice long outdoors adventure would probably help, hike some mountains or something, just ground and zen the F' out.
Click to expand...
Totally unacceptable and thoughtless about his wife. I've noticed you frequently are misognynist. You don't know the environment in which the question was asked.
 
spiderweb said:
I have no problem with a wife asking a husband ANYTHING. My only problem with that particular incident was that she asked in front of me--which I thought inappropriate.
Click to expand...

While a married couple should always be open and honest with one another, there are just some things that people don't want to or aren't ready to talk about with anyone, period. Spouses should know what those subjects are and respect the boundaries. Trying to get someone to open up before he or she is ready is typically a very bad idea, especially if one lacks a common background relating the subject/experiences. Someone like @Shepherd has that common background with combat vets. You and I do not.

Shepherd, thank you for your service - both past and present - and for taking on the pastors you did who get it so very wrong.
 
murphey said:
Totally unacceptable and thoughtless about his wife. I've noticed you frequently are misognynist. You don't know the environment in which the question was asked.
Click to expand...

Yeah nope.

Sorry but when you ask your husband, back from a gruesome military campaign, who's obviously feeling the effects of what he saw and did, "if he had killed anyone" yeah sorry, ether that woman is a horrible human and doesn't care about her husband, or she's dumb as a rock, ether way she's part of the problem.

And the environment? WTF??? Ok bud, what environment would that be a question to ask your husband who's looks for sure to have some demons he brought back, I'll give a hint, none.

Not sure what that makes me, but it's a damn truth.
 
Last edited:
James331 said:
Yeah nope.

Sorry but when you ask your husband, back from a gruesome military campaign, who's obviously feeling the effects of what he saw and did, "if he had killed anyone" yeah sorry, ether that woman is a horrible human and doesn't care about her husband, or she's dumb as a rock, ether way she's part of the problem.

And the environment? WTF??? Ok bud, what environment would that be a question to ask your husband who's looks for sure to have some demons he brought back, I'll give a hint, none.

Not sure what that makes me, but it's a damn truth.
Click to expand...

I don't see where she's part of the problem. I do find it odd that she decided to ask, in a friendly gathering, if her husband killed anyone overseas. You'd think that question would have come up in private years ago.
 
My wife asked questions after we were married. I asked her if the answer would make any difference.
 
Someone goes to war then are asked if they killed anyone. How freakin stupid. No he/she went there to smell the roses. Some people are stupid. War is about killing the enemy not babysitting them or feeding them.

God Bless you for caring. Most don't.

Tony
 
1600vw said:
Someone goes to war then are asked if they killed anyone. How freakin stupid. No he/she went there to smell the roses. Some people are stupid. War is about killing the enemy not babysitting them or feeding them.

God Bless you for caring. Most don't.

Tony
Click to expand...

Well, there are plenty of "FOBBITs" who go to a combat zone, don't ever "leave the wire" and don't see crap. Mortars / rockets hitting your base don't count. That happens almost everywhere there. For some, their biggest daily dilemma is whether to go to Pizza Hut or Burger King for lunch.

I'd say maybe less than 1 in 4 that have deployed in the last two wars (OEF/OIF) actually saw real combat. Meaning, the enemy is directly engaged with you and you taking action to that engagement. Basically Combat Action Badge criteria. Also, when I was in Afghanistan, the ratio of civ to military was 60/40. "War" these days for the most part is about contractors reaping rewards and not concentrating at annilating the enemy.
 
Last edited:
Velocity173 said:
Well, there are plenty of "FOBBITs" who go to a combat zone, don't ever "leave the wire" and don't see crap. Mortars / rockets hitting your base don't count. That happens almost everywhere there. For some, their biggest daily dilemma is whether to go to Pizza Hut or Burger King for lunch.

I'd say that maybe 1 in 4 that have deployed in the last two wars (OEF/OIF) actually saw real combat. Meaning, the enemy is directly engaged with you and you taking action to that engagement. Basically Combat Action Badge criteria. Also, when I was in Afghanistan, the ratio of civ to military was 60/40. "War" these days for the most part is about contractors reaping rewards and not concentrating at annilating the enemy.
Click to expand...
I remember going into Kabul or somewhere in Afghanistan one time and all the crew had to put on their combat gear. We went lights out, NVGs, kevlar, the whole deal. When we got there, there were airliners on the ramp. It kind of made all our precautions seem silly. But hey, that was combat.
 
Cooter said:
I remember going into Kabul or somewhere in Afghanistan one time and all the crew had to put on their combat gear. We went lights out, NVGs, kevlar, the whole deal. When we got there, there were airliners on the ramp. It kind of made all our precautions seem silly. But hey, that was combat.
Click to expand...

Yeah, we used to laugh when we heard stories about C-130s reporting small arms fire on final into Kabul or Bagram. Trying hard to get their 6th Air Medal and add a V device in an area where not a single aircraft has ever been shot down. :D
 
Velocity173 said:
Well, there are plenty of "FOBBITs" who go to a combat zone, don't ever "leave the wire" and don't see crap. Mortars / rockets hitting your base don't count. That happens almost everywhere there. For some, their biggest daily dilemma is whether to go to Pizza Hut or Burger King for lunch.

I'd say maybe less than 1 in 4 that have deployed in the last two wars (OEF/OIF) actually saw real combat. Meaning, the enemy is directly engaged with you and you taking action to that engagement. Basically Combat Action Badge criteria. Also, when I was in Afghanistan, the ratio of civ to military was 60/40. "War" these days for the most part is about contractors reaping rewards and not concentrating at annilating the enemy.
Click to expand...

Boom.

I loved it when GEN McCrystal shut down BK in theater! Oh the humanity!
 
Velocity173 said:
Well, there are plenty of "FOBBITs" who go to a combat zone, don't ever "leave the wire" and don't see crap. Mortars / rockets hitting your base don't count. That happens almost everywhere there. For some, their biggest daily dilemma is whether to go to Pizza Hut or Burger King for lunch.

I'd say maybe less than 1 in 4 that have deployed in the last two wars (OEF/OIF) actually saw real combat. Meaning, the enemy is directly engaged with you and you taking action to that engagement. Basically Combat Action Badge criteria. Also, when I was in Afghanistan, the ratio of civ to military was 60/40. "War" these days for the most part is about contractors reaping rewards and not concentrating at annilating the enemy.
Click to expand...

Yeah no kidding. At the same time, there are guys that have confirms to their name but not a single combat ribbon on their chest because the action didn't occur in a 'declared combat zone.'

And by the way, those kind of guys don't give a crap about medals to begin with.
 
Late to the thread here but maybe your friend needs an organization like the one I belong to called Team Rubicon. Most of us are Vets and a few "kickass" civilians that do disaster relief and service projects in the US and abroad. It allows us Vets to give to the community again and have something to belong to again. From what I understand, TR has helped many with PTSD. It helps give us purpose again. https://teamrubiconusa.org/


 
Flymy47 said:
Boom.

I loved it when GEN McCrystal shut down BK in theater! Oh the humanity!
Click to expand...

Lol! I was there when he did that. Think it had a lot to do with his CSM wanting them shutdown. Thought it was stupid myself. It's a friggin air base. You're gonna have restaurants there and it alleviated the lines at the chow hall a bit.

Funny you mentioned Gen McChrystal. I was watching War Machine with Brad Pitt at work the other day. Never even heard of it but within 5 minutes of watching it I said this has got to be a satire on McChrystal and his time as ISAF commander. Watching it was like reliving the experience. Great leader and GO but I hated flying him around.
 
Velocity173 said:
Lol! I was there when he did that. Think it had a lot to do with his CSM wanting them shutdown. Thought it was stupid myself. It's a friggin air base. You're gonna have restaurants there and it alleviated the lines at the chow hall a bit.

Funny you mentioned Gen McChrystal. I was watching War Machine with Brad Pitt at work the other day. Never even heard of it but within 5 minutes of watching it I said this has got to be a satire on McChrystal and his time as ISAF commander. Watching it was like reliving the experience. Great leader and GO but I hated flying him around.
Click to expand...

I knew him as our TF CDR, before the ISAF command, and he was awesome. He would come up to you in the gym and shoot the breeze, ask how the op went the night before, and was the real thing. Way cool dude.

I laughed at closing the BK thing because so many people lost their minds over it like that was the real reason they were there instead of the guys in the fight that night.
 
IMG_2913.JPG
Flymy47 said:
I knew him as our TF CDR, before the ISAF command, and he was awesome. He would come up to you in the gym and shoot the breeze, ask how the op went the night before, and was the real thing. Way cool dude.

I laughed at closing the BK thing because so many people lost their minds over it like that was the real reason they were there instead of the guys in the fight that night.
Click to expand...

Yeah, he's the real deal. He liked to show up on ops unannounced as well. We flew him all night during Thanksgiving in RC-East and he decided to drop in on a Stryker convoy. They popped smoke and setup an LZ on the road in a matter of minutes. Just the way he operated. Gotta coin that night. ;)
 
We had him as a guest speaker at our REGT formal right after the Rolling Stone thing. Freakin' priceless. I'd still follow him straight into hell!
 
Flymy47 said:
We had him as a guest speaker at our REGT formal right after the Rolling Stone thing. Freakin' priceless. I'd still follow him straight into hell!
Click to expand...

Was on his last flight (chalk 2) in country after the Rolling Stone article got him fired. No notice, middle of the night request. :eek: We knew something was up when our aircraft was filled to the roof with luggage. Dropped him off in front of his Gulfstream, he waited outside until all pax and bags were loaded. He turned around to us and gave a big wave with his hand over his head, then boarded the aircraft. I looked at my PI and said "He's not coming back." Wish I would have gotten him to sign the AMR. Might be worth something today. :D
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top