Have I been the subject of an elaborate April Fools joke?

Sac Arrow

Sac Arrow

Touchdown! Greaser!
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May 11, 2010
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Charlotte, NC
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Snorting his way across the USA
So I'm like heading to work earlier than normal, and my normal coffee getting place isn't open yet. So, I go to an alternate coffee getting place. I won't say which one but it's a huge national chain that sounds a bit like Hard Luck.

I always struggle with this place. I understand "small" "medium" and "large" I don't understand "Tall" "Grande" or "Venti." You could arrange the latter set in any other order and still have an equally illogical progression of sizes.

Based on rote memory, I think I want a "Venti." Just to be sure I don't screw it up, I point to the largest cup I see and say "I'd like a Venti please."

"Um, that's a Trenta."

"A what?"

"A Trenta. It's our largest size."

"Oh. Huh." I look more closely at the cup. Holy crap that thing is big. It's the size of a small trash can! Surely this is a joke.

I don't know how many shots that thing normally comes with. Probably a lot. Maybe Hard Luck is feeling the competition of Red Bull and 5 Hour Energy. Probably better stick with the Venti. But I could actually use an extra small trash can in my office. What to do, what to do.

Went with the Venti.
 
The hardluck/dd business model isn't about delivering caffeine, it is about selling bags of Oreo cookies blended up and sprinkled with coffee so consumers can believe they are having 'coffee with a little flavor' and not the reality of drinking 2,000 calories of liquified cauldron of cookies.
 
The trenta size is only for certain drinks. Comes in handy when you order iced tea.
 
I won't use Star****'s sizes. It ****es me off to no end to have three sizes, all of which mean "large" in different languages.
 
Apparently your hard luck store is not selling wine yet. Trenta size would definitely put you at risk of hard luck.
 
I saw this scene in Role Models.

You need to work on your story writing. Be original!

Venti = 20oz
Trenta = 30oz
 
Is there some reason we're not saying Starbucks?
 
EdFred said:
I saw this scene in Role Models.

You need to work on your story writing. Be original!

Venti = 20oz
Trenta = 30oz
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Dude, seriously, that was what transpired this morning! I **** you not!
 
Captain said:
Is there some reason we're not saying Starbucks?
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Yeah, it adds a degree of discredit and conveys disdain.

Similar to how I might refer to a non-acquaintance male as "dude" generically, for purposes of depersonalization. If he happens to be the boyfriend or husband of an acquaintance female of mine, then I call him "pal."

"Pal" is similar to "dude" except that it is extra condescending.
 
I'm unfamiliar with the series, but yeah that's pretty much my sentiment.
 
EdFred said:
It's pretty much exactly Paul Rudd's tirade from Role Models, as well.
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Shocking that more than one person on the planet could spot the same thing to talk about.
 
Trenta iced coffee, soy, and two Splendas has kept me awake for many a long drive. They usually sigh when you order it, it's close to being one of the cheapest things on the menu by the oz. Regular coffee is cheaper, but I like iced. Even in winter.
 
86624
 
I'd be happy if Starbucks could actually brew a drinkable cup of coffee, regardless of size.

Seriously, the Carl's Jrs and Subways near me have better coffee.
 
Jeff Oslick said:
I'd be happy if Starbucks could actually brew a drinkable cup of coffee, regardless of size.

Seriously, the Carl's Jrs and Subways near me have better coffee.
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And for that matter better food - have you ever seen that crap they sell at Starbucks? A tiny prepackaged dried up breakfast sandwich with half a strip of bacon on it for like five bucks.

No thank you.
 
Sac Arrow said:
And for that matter better food - have you ever seen that crap they sell at Starbucks? A tiny prepackaged dried up breakfast sandwich with half a strip of bacon on it for like five bucks.

No thank you.
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The pastries are no better. About the only thing edible is the "protein snack pack". Because not even Starbucks could f-up boiling an egg.
 
Sac Arrow said:
So I'm like heading to work earlier than normal, and my normal coffee getting place isn't open yet. So, I go to an alternate coffee getting place. I won't say which one but it's a huge national chain that sounds a bit like Hard Luck.

I always struggle with this place. I understand "small" "medium" and "large" I don't understand "Tall" "Grande" or "Venti." You could arrange the latter set in any other order and still have an equally illogical progression of sizes.

Based on rote memory, I think I want a "Venti." Just to be sure I don't screw it up, I point to the largest cup I see and say "I'd like a Venti please."

"Um, that's a Trenta."

"A what?"

"A Trenta. It's our largest size."

"Oh. Huh." I look more closely at the cup. Holy crap that thing is big. It's the size of a small trash can! Surely this is a joke.

I don't know how many shots that thing normally comes with. Probably a lot. Maybe Hard Luck is feeling the competition of Red Bull and 5 Hour Energy. Probably better stick with the Venti. But I could actually use an extra small trash can in my office. What to do, what to do.

Went with the Venti.
Click to expand...
Did the big one come with a catheter and bag?
 
Beside the sizes, I have trouble finding the 'normal' coffees (regular cafe, cappucchino or cafe latte) on their menu... They are always hidden somewhere. I know, it should be rather simple to say which one you like, but I like to compare the prices.
 
Skywalker said:
Beside the sizes, I have trouble finding the 'normal' coffees (regular cafe, cappucchino or cafe latte) on their menu... They are always hidden somewhere. I know, it should be rather simple to say which one you like, but I like to compare the prices.
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Compare to what? You already know going in that a regular cup of coffee is about 200x what it would cost to make at home. Once you've decided to participate in being raped willingly, there's not much point to finding out how hard.

Easiest way to get regular coffee is to bring in your own cup. It's rare for anyone walking up with their own cup to order a foo foo sugar drink. They know. They'll just take it and walk back and fill it and ask you if you need room for cream. They don't waste time in it because they know anyone walking in with their own cup is too cheap to tip, too.
 
denverpilot said:
Compare to what? You already know going in that a regular cup of coffee is about 200x what it would cost to make at home. Once you've decided to participate in being raped willingly, there's not much point to finding out how hard.
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That's probably true, but I need an excuse to decide on something different - why staying with the regular coffee (and I include coffee latte to that) when you can have a fancy coffee for a 'little' more?! :D Usually I am so shocked about the prices that I am not going there for a long time. At least until my foggy brain forgot about the last experience and I am standing there again, wondering what to choose... :yikes:
 
Skywalker said:
That's probably true, but I need an excuse to decide on something different - why staying with the regular coffee (and I include coffee latte to that) when you can have a fancy coffee for a 'little' more?! :D Usually I am so shocked about the prices that I am not going there for a long time. At least until my foggy brain forgot about the last experience and I am standing there again, wondering what to choose... :yikes:
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If you start the morning with at least a pot of regular coffee at home, you'll have less of these sleepy, confused, moments. :) :) :)
 
Sorry Charlie, I'm waaaay too cheap to pay those kind of prices.
I make my own at home, into a thermos, and I'm good till lunch.
 
LDJones said:
Did the big one come with a catheter and bag?
Click to expand...

I suppose I could see the logic of getting a 30 oz iced tea. I've had the occasion to go to Starbucks to meet up with people for social reasons when I really didn't need the coffee but I felt the need to sip on something.

I've never understood the logic of upsizing to the extra large drink at a fast food place where normally you would fill your own cup and refills are free, if you are dining in. Yet I see people do it.

Normally I don't even GET a drink at fast food. If I do, I'm normally 40 miles in to a 60 mile bike ride and I plan on drinking a gallon of iced tea during my meal before the next segment.
 
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