Flying-Twas The Night Before Christmas

[sheldon957]

I hope you enjoy. I had a little free time tonight and came up with this.
Flying-Twas The Night Before Christmas
By Sheldon Upthegrove

Twas the night before Christmas, When all 'round the ramp,
Not a lineman was stirring, nor even a tramp.
The planes were all lined up and tied down with care,
In hopes that the FBO would soon open there.

Most pilots were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of VFR weather danced in their heads.
The mechanics had dialed in the plane just right,
I had just settled in on a long cross country flight.

When from the plane there arose such a clatter,
Almost had a heart attack, what was the matter!
Away to the instruments my eyes flew in a flash,
Oil Pressure was good, and I had plenty of gas.

Moonlight shown clear on the new-fallen snow,
I quickly looked for emergency landing below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called me by name!

Now Sheldon give me your ears and please listen!
I know how to save your plane so it won't need a-fixin'.
Keep your best glide speed, and you will not stall,
If you fly coordinated, and keep your eye on the ball.

Go through your checklist, as your CFI taught,
Start at the bottom, and make your way to the top.
Fuel selector on both, and your mixture full rich,
Turn on the fuel pump, and flip the magneto switch!

Set your best glide speed, recall your ABC's,
Airspeed, Best Field, Cockpit check if you please.
Squawk 7700 on the transponder,
Declare an emergency, no time to ponder!

Aviate, Navigate, Communicate Last,
Don't be rememebered as a blast from the past.
Do not rush and use your flaps too soon on this night,
Make sure a landing field is there and in sight.

So up above roof tops St. Nicholas flew,
My Skyhawk behind him a-flying high too.
He turned, looked at me and said "One More Thing!"
You are now flying on a prayer and a wing!

Then just as things finally started to look close to right,
My electrical system stuttered, and said "To all a good night!"
I quickly checked the switch and circuit breakers first,
but the alternator was dying, leaving me in a lurch.

Just then my chances and hopes started to look slim,
Battery dying, Landing safely looked a no-win.
I started to get mad, I admit I was riled,
The NTSB would say no flight plan was filed.

An then, in a twinkling, I heard a small poof,
Rudolph just landed softly on top of the roof.
As I did my scan and was looking around,
His nose lit up the sky and shown on the ground.

Santa said I told you it would be all right,
Rudolph will guide your little Skyhawk tonight.
Then suddenly the field was right where it should be,
The winds and Runway 9 were even favoring me.

So on a straight in approach, I quickly did fly,
Dropping in softly from that cold winter sky.
Santa and Rudolph and the reindeer did cheer,
"That's your best landing yet, or at least this year."

I taxied back and parked on the ramp in bliss,
I stepped from my Skyhawk, the ground I did kiss.
Thank you dear Santa, kept my cool, did not panic,
Wait till I get my hands on that cotton pickin' mechanic!

 

[Steve]

Friend of mine sent me this one...

Twas the night before Christmas all over the place.
When we were confronted by an old flying ace.
There was icing reported and turbulent air, he said "file me a flight plan, I gotta get there"
Outside sat his aircraft all ready to run, and the man walked out to that P-51.
"Bad weather's no problem" he silently mumbled, the prop came to life... that big Allison rumbled.
He eased in the throttle, the roar shook the ground.
He taxied on out and he turned it around. He went through the run-up and seemed satisfied. Then he said to himself, "I'm in for a ride".
The tailwheel came up as he started to roll, up off the runway he sucked up the gear.
He screamed overhead with a deafening crack, the blue flames were flying from each shiny stack.
He pulled up the nose and started to climb, no ice on that airframe, it didn't have time.
On top of the weather with the levers all set, he looked up above him and saw a Lear Jet.
With jet fuel and turbines there just ain't no class, gimmee pistons and props and lots of Avgas.
Now he was approaching where he wanted to go, but weather had covered the runway with snow.
How will he land it? We just have to guess. Because the only way in was a full ILS.
Then over the marker he started his run, the ceiling was zero and visibility none.
Still going three hundred and he felt the need, for an overhead break to diminish the speed.
Over the numbers he zoomed, along like a flash, pulled into his break, we just knew he would crash.
Oh, why do they do it on these kind of nights? Then over the threshold, we saw landing lights.
"I'm on short final with three in the green and I see enough runway to land this machine"
Then he tied that Mustang, and they all hear him say...
"Next year, I'm stickin with my reindeer and sleigh".