Failed my first opportunity to solo

You didn’t fail anything. No one is 100% every day, every flight. Even the Blue Angels make errors.

Shake it off, review what needs improvement, train some more, and you’ll be on it.
 
I don't know what happened yesterday, but I was supposed to solo and didn't. I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about it. I am so unbelievably disappointed. And I also just don't get it.

When I showed up yesterday for my flight lesson, I was told if I could do 2-3 touch and go trips around the pattern without my CFI saying a word, I would solo. My CFI proceeded to endorse my log book and excitement was in the air! This all happened inside the FBO in front of another CFI (who was pumping his fists in the air with excitement - LOL!) as well as the person who worked the front office. It was cool to see and feel their belief in me. I couldn't believe what was happening!

I walked out to do my pre-flight (and I texted my husband about what just happened -- he's never seen me fly before and he very much wanted to be present for my first solo). Then I started doing my pre-flight checklist.

Everything was going well, we do the run-up checklist and discover an issue with the comms. Taxi to maintenance, get the comms issue fixed and we taxi back to the run-up area again. So it's definitely not a smooth start, but it gave my husband time to arrive at the viewing spot, and in my head I can't believe that all I have to do is work the pattern and it'll be time to solo!

We take off and my CFI says nothing at all the entire time. I took this as a positive sign, based on what he said in the FBO, and I'm proud of my landing (which is rare for me to feel!) I'm on the go into the upwind for my 2nd trip around the pattern. My CFI starts talking this time...gives a couple critiques. I have another nice landing. Time for my 3rd trip. Again, on the upwind, he starts telling me everything I did wrong. The rest of the time in the pattern, he says things like, "Roll wings level, you haven't squared off a single pattern all morning. Where's the wind coming from? Watch your airspeed. You aren’t looking at the runway enough", etc. We land and he has me taxi off the runway. He looks at me and says he won't be soloing me today. And he has me get back in line to do more pattern work. We work the pattern the rest of the time (7 landings total) and at the end he goes, "Had you flown the first 2 the way you flew these last 2, I would have soloed you." And then it was back to the hangars.

Wow. Just....the dejected feeling I had / still have is unbelievable. He seems to want perfection, and I am never going to be perfect. I have flown with 2 other instructors who have each told me what a great job I'm doing -- only one time with each instructor. And both of those CFIs gave me (and my primary CFI) very positive feedback.

It seems when I flew with the other 2 CFIs (once was for my pre-solo eval and the other was because I needed help with my flares), it went really well. I was initially nervous to fly with someone other than my primary, but I quickly felt very at ease once we got going. It feels like my primary CFI wants me to be absolutely precise and absolutely perfect. I feel like I've let him down (and I've definitely let myself down!), yet I also can't figure out why sometimes he thinks I'm doing well and other times I just can't seem to ever perform to his standards. My confidence is on a total roller coaster ride. I never know what days he's going to say I'm doing well and what days he'll act like I can't do anything right. And, rightfully so, I never have a day without any critiques...but some days he just seems harsher than others.

Maybe you guys can help give me some insight. Does it make sense that he wouldn't let me solo at all yesterday because I wasn't perfect on the first few patterns? At the end, when he said, "Had you flown the first 2 the way you flew these last 2, I would have soloed you", well, then why didn't he solo me at that point? Is it critical that I get it completely accurate right out of the gate? Maybe it is. Just curious / wondering.

I know...I know you can't truly tell me...only my CFI can. But I'm just so down right now. I actually have a really good rapport with my CFI, but I often feel he's very hard on me sometimes and then more loose other times. And I get it....if he even had an inkling that sending me solo was not the right call, then he had to follow through and go with that instinct and that decision. And I know I'll get another crack at it. I just can't believe I failed on that first opportunity. He obviously saw and experienced things I didn't and made the call he felt was best for me.

I guess I just needed to share here with a community who "gets" how I'm feeling. I've felt like giving up a couple of times in this whole journey...and right now...yeah, I feel like giving up...like I'm just not good enough. I'm pursuing my PPL as a hobby. I know I owe it to myself to keep going. I just don't know why sometimes I meet his standards and other times I feel he's extremely nit-picky about everything I do...like yesterday.

Thanks for letting me share.
Like said it'll happen sooner or later.
IMO not a smart thing to do calling your husband to come watch.
Not a smart thing for your CFI to tip you off.
I flew for months in the pattern before my solo. My instructor was a saint because he was so patient with me. I didn't focus on the solo. I sucked so bad at landing I focused on landing. Hundreds of landings before my solo. He asked me what I did before coming to flight training because I was so inconsistent. He tried to solo me for at least 3 months.
No one was there to watch me, no shirt tails got cut off, no signing the wall in the school when I did solo.
I didn't want or need any of that.
Just keep fine tuning your pattern work and the day will come. Good luck.
 
Not a smart thing for your CFI to tip you off.
As a CFI, I think some perspective is needed. Different students need different things for motivation, purpose, etc. One student might really do well being told that there was a tangible goal, others, need to ignore those goals and not put themselves under pressure. I don't think we can determine enough from this post to know that the IP was wrong to tell her. I've told a number of students that they were ready to solo if they could make consistent landings. Sometimes that is a test of how well they do under pressure from their own expectations. That's a big part of ADM, and it's good to know that a student is already using some good ADM when they do finally solo.
 
Talking about weird solo stories, my CFI told me he signed out someone to solo, he was ready and all but the student didn't think so but didn't have the guts to tell the CFI. So, after a few patterns with the CFI, they taxied back to the school, CFI got out and told the student to do a pattern on his own. Student said "okay", taxied to the other side of the airport (large, towered airport, can't see the runway from the school's office), parked there and just kept the plane idling. Eventually the tower called the CFI asking about one of their planes just sitting on the other end of the airport, not moving. CFI texted the student asking to taxi back if he has any issues. Student comes back and then comes clean telling him that he wasn't confident to go solo. He planned to just sit there, idle for a few minutes and then come back claiming to have solo'd. He eventually solo'd for real a few weeks later. Was a young guy so I wouldn't read too much into it.
 
I had no idea when I was going to solo, my instructor just said I’m gonna get out now and you go do 3 take offs and landings by yourself. I think this worked better compared to setting up expectations. Weather changes quickly and you really want to do this on a perfect day when the airplane, you and the wx is all lined up nicely.
 
Failure of a test is just another day of learning.

An important persepctive on all of this, might apply to you. Many instructors are young time builders, barely at the 250 hr mark, which means they barely have more time than you. Many have ZERO actual IFR time. They lack perspective and wisdom. Seek out chances to fly with others with more hours, listen to what they say and learn.

When I disagreed with my instructor I bought a Cloud Ahoy subscription. Then back at home I could do my own post flight analysis. This enabled me to validate my opinion or see defects better after the fact. An instructor also questioned my handling of short field landings so I set up my phone to view the G5 PFD and a bit of a view out front of the plane. I posted some of those online, perhaps here, and received plenty of critiques...

Point being, get some evidence!


Or, go to where Tools is teaching and fly with him. He is a great confidence booster!
 
As I recall, you suffered the same fate. Confidence shaken by a poor instructor. Listening to you I thought I had a world of stuff to learn ya… which wasn’t the case at all.

Really really enjoyed flyin with ya! When ya starting on your commercial?
 
As I recall, you suffered the same fate. Confidence shaken by a poor instructor. Listening to you I thought I had a world of stuff to learn ya… which wasn’t the case at all.

Really really enjoyed flyin with ya! When ya starting on your commercial?

Sorry OP. I had a heck of a time with my PPL and other challenges with IR. I started with one "school" that owned a 172 and sub contracted out for a CFI. CFI soloed me, then I bought my own plane, but CFI was told by school owner not to teach me in my own plane for insurance reasons. Despite buying the exact same year make and model plane the CFI told me I needed a new solo endorsement because my plane would fly differently with a Powerflo exhaust. So, I tried to get lessons at another local school but my new 250 hr CFI had little time in type, needed his own check out. I gave him the keys but did not fly due to the plane on having a minimum equipment list and they found it unairworthy due to minimal cracking in exterior trim. I then could not find anyone else local to fly. I'd read about a guy that would fly with you for a week for a given price, offered that price to anyone here that would come fly. Tools did just that. I had a ball, and despite Tools having a world of experience I got to be part of a first for him flying to Kitty Hawk NC and first flight airport. I recall Tools never grabbed controls, never fretted over things in flight, and in general expanded my capabilities through experiences. And with further IR training issues, he helped from a distance with my processing and planning for improvements.

These are all just hoops to jump thru to get to where you are going. And once you get a solo endorsement you have so much more freedom. Jump through the hoops.

On commercial: When I bought a SIM to stay IR current I bought the Gleim commercial ground school. I started on that after IR but really need to fly a while for fun! We've done a couple trips to PA to see family. Plane has new 180 HP engine, all new gadgets, and is in the paint shop now. So, lots of down time. Early 2024 it should be back, will fly a bit on my own, then maybe see Southern US by air with my girl. I'm at about 280 hours. Perhaps summer 2024 will get back to the books.

Tools, and others of his ilk, are well worth whatever price they charge for instruction or BFRs.
 
I had my solo day scheduled a few days in advance. I had about 160 hrs in with about 110 in my own plane…..waiting on an SI :rolleyes:. I still had a bit of nervousness regardless of my experience at that point. One thing that my CFI said that rang true is that I would be a better pilot after flying on my own. With him in the right seat I subconsciously knew that he would not let me get out of sorts with the plane. Flying solo has greatly improved my awareness of all things going on inside and outside of the aircraft and my radio skills have quickly improve. Hang in there!
 
THAT is the confidence I’m talking about. It’s super important. That and us instructors can only endure yay so much with y’all! Go jar y’own teeth loose, ha!

Ya, I know, I said earlier land like ya mean it… gotta keep ya guessing.
 
Yep. Simple answer.
Not really. That implies that every pattern will be flown perfectly forever, which is far from the case. Perhaps even the OP's description shows that something was learned on the first few patterns.

Frankly, after 50 years as a pilot I'm still learning subtle ways to make some landings closer to "perfect", even though I've never damaged an aircraft on landing, which is the more important metric.
 
There is not perfection, only striving for it.

As you fly more and getting better, you make fewer mistakes, but the big part is you recognize them earlier and correct them sooner, so they have less effect.
 
Any update, AIM?
 
My first solo was so long ago that dinosaurs were roaming the taxiways and the Dead Sea was just sick. So, I really can't remember it, other than taking off and thinking "I got up here by myself and I have to get back down by myself."

It was U.S. Air Force UPT, flying a T-41 at Casa Grande, Arizona. We were expected to solo in the first ten hours or would be reassigned to what was rumored to be "Missile Launch Officer" in North Dakota.

I don't remember anything about my first solo in the T-37 or T-38, but somewhere there's a photo of me in a dunk tank, which was actually a welcome tradition in the Arizona heat, especially when you'd always be soaked in sweat after those first solo flights.
 
My first solo was so long ago that dinosaurs were roaming the taxiways and the Dead Sea was just sick. So, I really can't remember it, other than taking off and thinking "I got up here by myself and I have to get back down by myself."

It was U.S. Air Force UPT, flying a T-41 at Casa Grande, Arizona. We were expected to solo in the first ten hours or would be reassigned to what was rumored to be "Missile Launch Officer" in North Dakota.

I don't remember anything about my first solo in the T-37 or T-38, but somewhere there's a photo of me in a dunk tank, which was actually a welcome tradition in the Arizona heat, especially when you'd always be soaked in sweat after those first solo flights.

I soloed T-37 in February in Del Rio, TX. Solo tank had 4 inches of ice, so SOF would not let them throw me in.

So my "friends" went out and broke up the ice and pulled every piece out. THEN threw me in. ICE COLD.
 
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