Ex wife threatening to call the faa

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Pvtpilot1993

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Hello, I’ve had some recent events which I’ve been concerned with and I’m looking for some input from multiple people of the community on what to do in my situation. I’m 36 years old with a private instrument and I’m months away from taking my commercial check ride.

When I was 22 years old I fell into severe opioid/alcohol addiction on and off for 2 1/2 years with no direction in life after my mother took her life. I was arrested for stealing from a close friend of a family member and all charges were dropped after spending 2 nights in jail. I later self checked myself into a rehab and afterwards I committed myself to sobriety. I went through the whole process which included taking an ssri and whatever medicine they prescribed me at the time which is common at most dual diagnosis rehabs so I’m sure I was given many “labels”. This was all paid for by my company insurance.

About 6 years ago my wife and I separated and we had a 2 year old son at the time. When I was trying to get visitation of my son she claimed that I was an alcoholic/addict. To appease her and to stay out of court at the time I stupidly agreed to take vivitrol shots 1 time a month to keep the peace. I did this for a few months and stopped.

In the years following I got a good paying job had 50/50 custody of my son and have not had a sip of alcohol in 6 years and have not done opiates in almost 12 years. I have no traffic violations and no dui’s in my life.

Roughly 4 years ago I found flying through an older gentleman friend from my local church who took me under his wing and has been a 2nd father in helping me get into flying. Flying is my passion and I have spent every extra dime I have on getting my ratings. My dream is to be a corporate pilot.

In the past 3 months my wife and I want to make our divorce finalized and she is bitter about the success and happiness I have found in flying and my new relationship. She has told me in the past she is jealous and hates the idea of me getting a flying career.

Where my situation gets very sticky…In the past month we have been at odds over how to split up our assets and things have been extremely toxic with her recently starting to not allow me to even see our son anymore ignoring our custody order. My soon to be ex wife’s sister who she is very close to, and lives with at this time is married to a first officer of one of the big 3 major airlines. He has been putting ideas into my wife’s head to anonymously call the FAA on me because my arrest and rehab 12 years ago and use of vivitrol have not ever been disclosed on my first class medical and he knows that. Her husband knows a lot of my personal information and past struggles because he obviously was family and we used to be very close before things went south and he’s in the industry. He also had a big role in getting me where I am now with flying. Now Anytime I try to hold my own and demand rights or even mention to take her to court to restore visitation of my son this is held over my head. How screwed am I if they actually call the FAA and tell them I lied (unknowingly) on my medical? Do they have ways to find out about stuff like rehabs 12+ years ago ?

I stupidly assumed if you had no issues in the past 3 years( which I didn’t ) you were in the clear. I have taken multiple first class medicals up to this point with nothing disclosed and I wanna know what I am up against if I make things right. I also have limited funds in the short term to fight this with hims and consults because most of my money is going towards child support and lawyers. And no this is not a troll post, tho I wish it was.

Thank you to anyone that spent the time to read this I apologize for it being a long post.
 
You need a good HIMS AME and a lawyer. You committed a further crime by falsifying your medical application. There's no "three years" limit to the stuff in question 18 regarding hospitalizations, alcohol or substance abuse. I feel for you being the victim of blackmail, but you are in deep trouble here.
 
I don’t believe your answers on the medical form were an accident and neither will anyone at the FAA.
 
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Sadly, they're right. If you don't disclose and your ex-family dimes you out, you'll likely have a battle worse than your divorce on your hands. I had a DUI 8 years ago, got almost up to my check ride for sport pilot and my flight instructor told my I should just go for private pilot instead of sport. Like a dummy I listened and when I disclosed during my medical, I got deferred and have been fighting for the last 3 years. I haven't drank since the DUI and I'm supposed to go and spend another 15k after that so the FAA "feels" confident? Don't get me wrong, they're doing their jobs and I understand you don't want a drunk in the air, but it's a money thing. I accepted that I only wanted to fly cubs low and slow anyway. So I built a Hummel UltraCruiser while waiting for my medical. Then I stopped waiting for the FAA to wait ME out, and I think I'm happier now that I can fly for cheap. I can fly x-country with the Hummel, and I have a SkyPup for low and slow. I don't have to pay for annuals. It was a mistake I made in life. It was also a mistake by a young CFI. Sport Pilot is off the books too if you won't take the time and small fortune to work with the HIMS. I chose not to because I made peace with it a long time ago. I know it's not a career, but you can still enjoy flying. Just not as fast. ;)
 
Your willingness to lie on your medical application, and then your willingness to lie to us about why you lied to the FAA pretty much tells us all we need to know. If it wasn’t your ex wife ratting you out it would be something else. If you choose to turn your life around, follow Ron’s advice and contact a an aviation attorney and AME and figure out what you need to do get back into compliance. In the meantime, stop flying.
 
I wish we had a scoreboard for posts that say, "Hey, I screwed up a few years ago but I've been good since then, except I lied like a cheap rug on my medical application, and now I've been or am about to be caught, how can I get out of it?"

Maybe a form with checkboxes for alcohol, DUI, weed, meth, ADHD meds, etc. A little slider control for how old you were.

For the OP, part of getting your life back together includes making good decisions like not drinking, doing drugs, or lying your ass off on government forms.
 
it still stinks that the system allows the public to use this as a tool of retribution or manipulation.
I know innocent pilots that were put out of work for years based upon one false complaint.

BTW, OP - sounds like you have done well putting a dark time in your life being you - good job, keep pushing.
 
Brad Z said:
Your willingness to lie on your medical application, and then your willingness to lie to us about why you lied to the FAA pretty much tells us all we need to know. If it wasn’t your ex wife ratting you out it would be something else. If you choose to turn your life around, follow Ron’s advice and contact a an aviation attorney and AME and figure out what you need to do get back into compliance. In the meantime, stop flying.
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This.

Plus:

1. You still have a lot of growing up to do. Truthfulness and discretion are a big part of this.

2. As I understand it, taking responsibility for your actions is part of recovery. And it's definitely part of being an adult.

3. You might need a new divorce lawyer if your current one is letting your wife violate court orders and leading you to believe is worth fighting over assets. Unless you're very wealthy, it isn't.

4. Your BIL is an *******.
 
Let'sgoflying! said:
it still stinks that the system allows the public to use this as a tool of retribution or manipulation.
I know innocent pilots that were put out of work for years based upon one false complaint.

BTW, OP - sounds like you have done well putting a dark time in your life being you - good job, keep pushing.
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Except this wouldn't be a false complaint. Reading between the lines, it sounds like the BIL coached him to lie and is now using it against him. If you let people get leverage, they will use it. But the truth will set the OP free, into HIMS.
 
If ever a case cried out for prosecution this is it. Stealing. rehab. vivitrol shots. commited himself to sobriety 12 years ago but hasnt had a sip of alcohol in six years. ssri use. fighting with wife over assets even though his certificates are at risk. he lied “unknowingly”. and “assumed” he only had to disclose stuff within three years. oh that would be a great defense at trial. people jump thru hoops for years because they follow the rules.
 
Truth is not provisional. You lie: you pay the piper, and there is no place in the air for a liar.
You pay now or you pay a lot bigger later. DO THIS NOW.

Stop flying, send your medical certificate into the agency with a short note, "returned for cancellation". CERTIFIED return RECEIPT. Keep the receipt. STOP TRAINING. Here's the address: FAA, AAM 331 PO Box 25082, Oklahoma City OK 73125. or by courier: FAA AAM 331, 6500 S MacArthur Blvd, Oklahoma City 73125.

You do this because of the settlement policy attached; you do NOT want to take your ratings checkrides all over again...if you do not do this you will FOR SURE lose your PVT and your IR (emergency revocation) because....
PvtPlt1993 said:
I stupidly assumed if you had no issues in the past 3 years( which I didn’t ) you were in the clear. I have taken multiple first class medicals up to this point with nothing disclosed
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....you lied multiple times. If you get action they will refer you for prosecution and that is a class 4 felony. You will lose. Then you become unemployable.

Voluntary return before notice, forestalls action.

Get to a HIMS AME and begin a demonstrated sobriety program. Just do it. DO IT NOW. They call you Pee. HIMS AME monitors you pre-application.

Get 3 character witness letters, persons plainly in a position to know.
Start attending and logging AA/NA meeting- twice a week, Date, Name of Mtg, Inits of the meeting leader. Start working the "steps".
Get the HIMS AME to evaluate whether you need to go back to Rehab (12 years ago but only six years off the stuff). This is a "what's in your brain" deal. It is possible to do this and hold a full time job but it won't be convenient... and it will fill your life for 3 whole months.
After six months get to the HIMS psychiatrist.

Although congratulations on (?)six years of sobriety (who knows) might be due to you, from what you write you clearly do not have the tools to run your personal recovery program for a lifetime. GET THOSE TOOLS. FAA is not interested in letting you fly until you demonstrate those tools. One piece of the tools is HONESTY, with SELF and with others.

Reapply only after you have all that.

Contrary to what one "poster with a grudge" sez, HIMS is NOT a sham. and for the rest of the gallery....remember, we're "trying to help this guy" and heaven knows he needs it.
 

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wellknow said:
unbelievable
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Sadly, not in the slightest. Someone was on Facebook asking basically the same question, "I had a problem a while back, all is good now. Should I disclose and go through HIMS AME, or just fill out the form like nothing ever happened".

A staggering 80% of the responses advised the poster to pretend like it never happened. Leads one to believe there are a lot of pilots out there with an undisclosed history. I'll leave it to the readers to decide if this means that the FAA is overly cautious and the lack of mayhem despite many undisclosed histories demonstrates that fact, or that maybe we're all constant in danger because of these pilots with history. But one thing we can feel confident about, this is totally believable.

The Facebook poster then dipped into my DMs and we ended up in a 45 minute back and forth in which they demonstrated a persistent lack of clear thinking, and their contumacy toward FAA medical disclosure requirements, manifested as fraudulent misrepresentation on federal forms, shows no sign of abating.
 
bbchien said:
Truth is not provisional. You lie: you pay the piper, and there is no place in the air for a liar.
You pay now or you pay a lot bigger later. DO THIS NOW.

Stop flying, send your medical certificate into the agency with a short note, "returned for cancellation". CERTIFIED return RECEIPT. Keep the receipt. STOP TRAINING.

You do this because of the settlement policy attached; you do NOT want to take your ratings checkrides all over again...if you do not do this you will FOR SURE lose your PVT and your IR (emergency revocation). That forestalls action.

Get to a HIMS AME and begin a demonstrated sobriety program. Just do it. DO IT NOW. They call you Pee. HIMS AME monitors you pre-application.Get 3 character witness letters, persons plainly in a position to know.
Start attending and logging AA/NA meeting- twice a week, Date, Name of Mtg, Inits of the meeting leader. Start working the "steps".
Get the HIMS AME to evaluate whether you need to go back to Rehab (12 years ago but only six years off the stuff). This is a "what's in your brain" deal. It is possible to do this and hold a full time job but it won't be convenient... and it will fill your life for 3 whole months.
After six months get to the HIMS psychiatrist.

Although congratulations on (?)six years of sobriety (who knows) might be due to you, from what you write you clearly do not have the tools to run your personal recovery program for a lifetime. GET THOSE TOOLS. FAA is not interested in letting you fly until you demonstrate those tools. One piece of the tools is HONESTY, with SELF and with others.

Reapply only after you have all that.

Contrary to what tools sez, HIMS is NOT a sham. and for the rest of the gallery....remember, we're "trying to help this guy" and heaven knows he needs it.
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Thank you for your long detailed response Dr
Chien after lurking on this forum for the last few weeks I realized how serious my Situation is. I flew my last flight and will be sending my medical in and start on the path you laid out.
 
Lindberg said:
Except this wouldn't be a false complaint. Reading between the lines, it sounds like the BIL coached him to lie and is now using it against him. If you let people get leverage, they will use it. But the truth will set the OP free, into HIMS.
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Your reading between the lines is stunningly accurate. There was a “wink wink” agreement this is how it’s done in the industry attitude from my BIL. Then when my relationship went south the rest was history. The sad part is I would not have been opposed to doing Hims before I got started and invested so much money and time. I own this and take full responsibility for it and will do this the right way.
 
Nothing to add on the FAA, but I will pray for you. Substance abuse will destroy your life. Don't let it. Fight it and keep fighting. Be there for your kid.

Have you ever gotten counseling for how you feel about your Mom? If not, please consider it. A close family member of mine died that way. It's a hell of a burden to carry inside.
 
This is why you have to actually read forms that you answer. Especially federal ones.

Follow the good docs advice above.
 
Also, blackmail is illegal. You could drop a dime on your BIL. Just saying.
 
Ed Haywood said:
Nothing to add on the FAA, but I will pray for you. Substance abuse will destroy your life. Don't let it. Fight it and keep fighting. Be there for your kid.

Have you ever gotten counseling for how you feel about your Mom? If not, please consider it. A close family member of mine died that way. It's a hell of a burden to carry inside.
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I never had counseling I bottled up my emotions after it all happened which ultimately led to me having the addiction problems I had. I’m sorry to hear you had that happen also it’s a pain that’s hard too explain, lots of self blame at the time also. Thanks for the prayers
 
Sorry you’re going through an awful divorce and kids are involved. I am too on year 4 of a bitterly contested divorce with an ex and her shady lawyer. At least kids are graduated and not in the equation for me as far as custody. You need to tell your ex to put everything aside when it comes to the kids. Have your battles, but have them in private. Slinging mud in front of kids backfired for my ex. My son won’t even talk to his mom because she tore apart our marriage and family, and expects to be rewarded for it.

I’m old enough to see bitter ex wives sling mud and fail to honor custody agreements, and in the end, the kids now won’t have anything to do with their mom. Keep your head high, pour your energy into your kids, and try not to sling mud even when slinging is well deserved. It’s not easy, I know first hand.

Good luck in your future, and following the wise advice above by our expert will take away your ex’s leverage. That will sting her even more. Fight for your kids. You’ll thank me later.

There’s plenty of cool careers out there. Go find yours!
 
The FAA can take administrative action against your certificates but other than a referral to the DOJ there is not much they can do to you criminally.

The only advice you need to follow: stop posting and get an AME and lawyer.

I would even delete this thread or edit it.
 
Pvtpilot1993 said:
Your reading between the lines is stunningly accurate. There was a “wink wink” agreement this is how it’s done in the industry attitude from my BIL. Then when my relationship went south the rest was history. The sad part is I would not have been opposed to doing Hims before I got started and invested so much money and time. I own this and take full responsibility for it and will do this the right way.
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It's a good thing for him that you're not bitter and vengeful because if you were, you might emphasize how you were led astray by your trust and reliance in a respected professional pilot when you make your mea culpa to the FAA.
 
.
TroyF said:
Sadly, they're right. If you don't disclose and your ex-family dimes you out, you'll likely have a battle worse than your divorce on your hands. I had a DUI 8 years ago, got almost up to my check ride for sport pilot and my flight instructor told my I should just go for private pilot instead of sport. Like a dummy I listened and when I disclosed during my medical, I got deferred and have been fighting for the last 3 years. I haven't drank since the DUI and I'm supposed to go and spend another 15k after that so the FAA "feels" confident? Don't get me wrong, they're doing their jobs and I understand you don't want a drunk in the air, but it's a money thing. I accepted that I only wanted to fly cubs low and slow anyway. So I built a Hummel UltraCruiser while waiting for my medical. Then I stopped waiting for the FAA to wait ME out, and I think I'm happier now that I can fly for cheap. I can fly x-country with the Hummel, and I have a SkyPup for low and slow. I don't have to pay for annuals. It was a mistake I made in life. It was also a mistake by a young CFI. Sport Pilot is off the books too if you won't take the time and small fortune to work with the HIMS. I chose not to because I made peace with it a long time ago. I know it's not a career, but you can still enjoy flying. Just not as fast. ;)
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Nah, you were still victimized by the tyranny of administrative law. You being a stoic about it doesn't mean it's right. The OP money-BOHICA of HIMS is stipulated at this point, but that doesn't negate he is still being blackmailed by 3rd parties. Two wrongs don't make a right.
 
Dear Penthouse Forms...

The other day my soon the be ex sister in law came over to help move my soon to be ex-wives' stuff out of my double wide... As we were packing boxes she looked at me with that beautiful tooth, and crossed eyes...... and.....

Blah Blah Blah.... here we go again.
 
Lindberg said:
It's a good thing for him that you're not bitter and vengeful because if you were, you might emphasize how you were led astray by your trust and reliance in a respected professional pilot when you make your mea culpa to the FAA.
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I’m not a vengeful type person that’s why I didn’t even mention what airline he flies for in my original post.
 
Pvtpilot1993 said:
I’m not a vengeful type person that’s why I didn’t even mention what airline he flies for in my original post.
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I will say it again: blackmail is against the law. You could casually remind him that you have his hindquarters in a sling, too.
 
Consider whether there is anything you've posted on here that conflicts with the information your ex already has, or provides information she doesn't have. If so, get rid of it, if not, I'd probably still get rid of it.
 
mryan75 said:
I will say it again: blackmail is against the law. You could casually remind him that you have his hindquarters in a sling, too.
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Extortion, black mail, is threat of force, fear, or reputational harm to intentionally compel a victim to give up money, property, or services. A BIL telling a wife to turn him in is not extortion. Also he would have to go to local authorities and disclose the criminal facts that are leading to this extortion.One doesn’t get to rob a bank and get another prosecuted for threatening to turn them in if they don’t give them half.

He might remind the wife she is expecting child support and sabotaging his future income means she will get less. It also is a federal crime to conceal a federal felony and fail to report it. He might remind the BIL of that, not that the BIL would ever be prosecuted.
 
Pvtpilot1993 said:
Hello, I’ve had some recent events which I’ve been concerned with and I’m looking for some input from multiple people of the community on what to do in my situation. I’m 36 years old with a private instrument and I’m months away from taking my commercial check ride.

When I was 22 years old I fell into severe opioid/alcohol addiction on and off for 2 1/2 years with no direction in life after my mother took her life. I was arrested for stealing from a close friend of a family member and all charges were dropped after spending 2 nights in jail. I later self checked myself into a rehab and afterwards I committed myself to sobriety. I went through the whole process which included taking an ssri and whatever medicine they prescribed me at the time which is common at most dual diagnosis rehabs so I’m sure I was given many “labels”. This was all paid for by my company insurance.

About 6 years ago my wife and I separated and we had a 2 year old son at the time. When I was trying to get visitation of my son she claimed that I was an alcoholic/addict. To appease her and to stay out of court at the time I stupidly agreed to take vivitrol shots 1 time a month to keep the peace. I did this for a few months and stopped.

In the years following I got a good paying job had 50/50 custody of my son and have not had a sip of alcohol in 6 years and have not done opiates in almost 12 years. I have no traffic violations and no dui’s in my life.

Roughly 4 years ago I found flying through an older gentleman friend from my local church who took me under his wing and has been a 2nd father in helping me get into flying. Flying is my passion and I have spent every extra dime I have on getting my ratings. My dream is to be a corporate pilot.

In the past 3 months my wife and I want to make our divorce finalized and she is bitter about the success and happiness I have found in flying and my new relationship. She has told me in the past she is jealous and hates the idea of me getting a flying career.

Where my situation gets very sticky…In the past month we have been at odds over how to split up our assets and things have been extremely toxic with her recently starting to not allow me to even see our son anymore ignoring our custody order. My soon to be ex wife’s sister who she is very close to, and lives with at this time is married to a first officer of one of the big 3 major airlines. He has been putting ideas into my wife’s head to anonymously call the FAA on me because my arrest and rehab 12 years ago and use of vivitrol have not ever been disclosed on my first class medical and he knows that. Her husband knows a lot of my personal information and past struggles because he obviously was family and we used to be very close before things went south and he’s in the industry. He also had a big role in getting me where I am now with flying. Now Anytime I try to hold my own and demand rights or even mention to take her to court to restore visitation of my son this is held over my head. How screwed am I if they actually call the FAA and tell them I lied (unknowingly) on my medical? Do they have ways to find out about stuff like rehabs 12+ years ago ?

I stupidly assumed if you had no issues in the past 3 years( which I didn’t ) you were in the clear. I have taken multiple first class medicals up to this point with nothing disclosed and I wanna know what I am up against if I make things right. I also have limited funds in the short term to fight this with hims and consults because most of my money is going towards child support and lawyers. And no this is not a troll post, tho I wish it was.

Thank you to anyone that spent the time to read this I apologize for it being a long post.
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BTW, you might bear in mind that FAA personnel may be reading this forum. One of them has already responded to you in this thread.

Sorry you put yourself into this situation. Play it straight from here on.
 
So silly. A) unless the brother in law says something actually saying in writing or on tape give me money or else i will tell the faa it’s not blackmail. but the salient point is it’s not the brother in law who told him to lie so profusely to the faa. he decided to do it in spite of clear directions in the application not to. it’s not the brother in law who abused drugs and alcohol. it’s this guy. the core of the issue is a stunningly bad decision not to go through the processes prescribed for addition and ssri use. followed by an attempt to off load the consequences of his illegal decisions. the point is if he was sober in a program of recovery he would take responsibility for his own issues. it’s not his ex wife, sister or brother in laws issue it’s his.
 
pfarber said:
The FAA can take administrative action against your certificates but other than a referral to the DOJ there is not much they can do to you criminally.

The only advice you need to follow: stop posting and get an AME and lawyer.

I would even delete this thread or edit it.
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Referral to the DOJ doesn't work out well for most normal folks....

J

Thread 'First of 4 Pilots indicted for lying on Medical is Sentenced.'

GREGORY JAMES CHRISMAN was sentenced 09/15/2020 to two years probation, lost his pilot certificates and it's unemployed.

Chrisman previously worked as a commercial pilot, and this prosecution arises from false statements that Chrisman made on medical certifications submitted to the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA). These certifications are known as Form 8500-8s.

In August 2018, Chrisman was charged with two counts of making false statements, in violation of 18 U.S.C. § 1001(a)(2), for claims made on his December 10, 2017 and June 24, 2018 Form 8500-8s. ECF No. 1. As relevant here...

Four Pilots Charged with Lying to the FAA | DOT OIG

On August 23, the U.S. District Court, in San Francisco, California, indicted four airline pilots for making false statements to the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA). The defendants—Gregory Chrisman, Burlingame, California; Nicholas Beyer, Discovery Bay, California; Adam Asleson, Peachtree...
www.oig.dot.gov www.oig.dot.gov
www.ajc.com

Delta pilot accused of lying about mental health issues to keep flying

FAA says Delta Air Lines pilot, who received VA help for depressive disorder," lied about mental health.
www.ajc.com www.ajc.com

Whatever.
 
Pvtpilot1993 said:
Your reading between the lines is stunningly accurate. There was a “wink wink” agreement this is how it’s done in the industry attitude from my BIL. Then when my relationship went south the rest was history. The sad part is I would not have been opposed to doing Hims before I got started and invested so much money and time. I own this and take full responsibility for it and will do this the right way.
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Attaboy. You can still rebuild this though it will take time. HEAD TO THE POST OFFICE or Fedex.
 
Hmmm….

1. You’re screwed because the faa, an institutional liar, won’t tolerate a lie…

2. Your BIL is typical in the industry, especially majors. Sure you wanna go play with them?

3. Be careful with docs… most of the “accomplished” hims ames are associated with major airlines. Except for the one that was just suspended… still trying to figure out why….

4. NONE OF THIS has ANYTHING to do with safety. That statement is as useless as the POA impeachment of your character….

You are facing an immense administrative battle with the administrative state. That’s it.
 
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