Dave Siciliano
Final Approach
Off to the urologist today: he's in the big hospital near downtown; 45 minute drive for me.
I always find these places interesting and wondered if y'all have the same view of them.
Going up the elevator, three of us on at parking level 1. Ever notice how the floors are marked? There's P1 and P2; 1 through 12, but a mezzaine/lobby also. So, is the first floor really the first floor or is the mezzanine/lobby the first floor? And, which would be on the ground level? Well, I'm not going there; so, doesn't matter.
Anyway, a young lady on the elevator has a name tag that says "Queen". Guy next to me making small talk tells her how unusual that name is and says it reminds him of the rock group. I say that rock group reminds me of Freddie Mercury--the former lead singer. She doesn't know the group much less the former lead singer. He and I begin to feel much older.
I get to the doctor's office; big place; group practice. There's a very large sign saying 'please sign in here' with a big arrow pointing down to a counter top. Seems like a strange place to sign in; should be a pad of paper or something, but being a former military guy--I follow the instructions and get my pen out and try to write on the counter top--not easy! Next thing I hear is; hey! whatayoudoin! I say, I'm signing in, of course! Nurse says, you're supposed to sign the list. What list? I say. She looks around and grabs a list from someone's desk; this list. I point to the sign: doesn't say to sign the list, oh, well, whatever.
A nurse calls me and escorts me to an exam room. She tells me she want a urine sample and will take blood. I ask why. Standard procedure, she says. I tell her I'd like to discuss it with the doctor. I get--THE LOOK. O.K. she says, but you're going to have to do it (ha ha, didn't have ta).
Nice visit with the doc. We set up a follow up visit. I won't go into details. I shed a tear or two and was uncomfortable sittin down the whole way back. Funny guy; told me how everything felt just great. Had some flashbacks to the dialogue in Broke Back Mountain. Funny guys, urologists.
Ever notice after you leave an exam room, you can't tell how to get out? They turn you all around and move you like blindfolding you in a maze. Then, you haveta ask how to get out. They point to an exit sign, but you didn't know that was the exit sign where you pay. Oh well.
On the way back to the elevator, sign on a door says 'janitor closet'. Boy, must be tough to sit in there all day.
I get to the elevator (we're on the 12th--the top--floor). I push the down button and begin to wait for transport. Guy walks over and pushes the down button on the other side. I ask him if the elevator comes faster if we push the down button on both sides. He laughs and assures me it will come twice as fast. We BS a little and an elevator arrives. Since we're on top, we just start walking on when the doors open, but--it's full. One lady yelling on a cell phone; guy in a wheel chair and a pack of humanity. Geesh, we back up. Doors close. Guy asks me, how could the elevator be full if we're on the top floor and it's going down. Idoknow! Maybe it's because we pushed both the down buttons <g>
We finally get on an elevator going down and it fills up on the way. Someone up front says: look at these floor numbers. Whatintheheck is P1 and P2. Since I just left the urologist, I blurt out they are the rest rooms. Place kinna breaks up with laughter. Well, that's how I felt, I was gonna P somewhere!!
On the way out, as I pull up to the parking attendant to pay on the way out, big sign says: Attendant: Closed. Just like the supermarket lines with the lights off with checkers there: this attendant is there, but there's a big closed sign. So I tell her, your sign says you're closed. She says: I'm not closed, I'm here.
I tell her, I can see you're here, but you have sign up that says you're closed.
That'll be $3.
So I paid and left.
Interestin places, those hospitals <g> Very different.
Best,
Dave
I always find these places interesting and wondered if y'all have the same view of them.
Going up the elevator, three of us on at parking level 1. Ever notice how the floors are marked? There's P1 and P2; 1 through 12, but a mezzaine/lobby also. So, is the first floor really the first floor or is the mezzanine/lobby the first floor? And, which would be on the ground level? Well, I'm not going there; so, doesn't matter.
Anyway, a young lady on the elevator has a name tag that says "Queen". Guy next to me making small talk tells her how unusual that name is and says it reminds him of the rock group. I say that rock group reminds me of Freddie Mercury--the former lead singer. She doesn't know the group much less the former lead singer. He and I begin to feel much older.
I get to the doctor's office; big place; group practice. There's a very large sign saying 'please sign in here' with a big arrow pointing down to a counter top. Seems like a strange place to sign in; should be a pad of paper or something, but being a former military guy--I follow the instructions and get my pen out and try to write on the counter top--not easy! Next thing I hear is; hey! whatayoudoin! I say, I'm signing in, of course! Nurse says, you're supposed to sign the list. What list? I say. She looks around and grabs a list from someone's desk; this list. I point to the sign: doesn't say to sign the list, oh, well, whatever.
A nurse calls me and escorts me to an exam room. She tells me she want a urine sample and will take blood. I ask why. Standard procedure, she says. I tell her I'd like to discuss it with the doctor. I get--THE LOOK. O.K. she says, but you're going to have to do it (ha ha, didn't have ta).
Nice visit with the doc. We set up a follow up visit. I won't go into details. I shed a tear or two and was uncomfortable sittin down the whole way back. Funny guy; told me how everything felt just great. Had some flashbacks to the dialogue in Broke Back Mountain. Funny guys, urologists.
Ever notice after you leave an exam room, you can't tell how to get out? They turn you all around and move you like blindfolding you in a maze. Then, you haveta ask how to get out. They point to an exit sign, but you didn't know that was the exit sign where you pay. Oh well.
On the way back to the elevator, sign on a door says 'janitor closet'. Boy, must be tough to sit in there all day.
I get to the elevator (we're on the 12th--the top--floor). I push the down button and begin to wait for transport. Guy walks over and pushes the down button on the other side. I ask him if the elevator comes faster if we push the down button on both sides. He laughs and assures me it will come twice as fast. We BS a little and an elevator arrives. Since we're on top, we just start walking on when the doors open, but--it's full. One lady yelling on a cell phone; guy in a wheel chair and a pack of humanity. Geesh, we back up. Doors close. Guy asks me, how could the elevator be full if we're on the top floor and it's going down. Idoknow! Maybe it's because we pushed both the down buttons <g>
We finally get on an elevator going down and it fills up on the way. Someone up front says: look at these floor numbers. Whatintheheck is P1 and P2. Since I just left the urologist, I blurt out they are the rest rooms. Place kinna breaks up with laughter. Well, that's how I felt, I was gonna P somewhere!!
On the way out, as I pull up to the parking attendant to pay on the way out, big sign says: Attendant: Closed. Just like the supermarket lines with the lights off with checkers there: this attendant is there, but there's a big closed sign. So I tell her, your sign says you're closed. She says: I'm not closed, I'm here.
I tell her, I can see you're here, but you have sign up that says you're closed.
That'll be $3.
So I paid and left.
Interestin places, those hospitals <g> Very different.
Best,
Dave
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