Coming back from some anxiety

[AnonFlyer]

Hello, I'm a pretty low time PPL (~250 hrs). I've owned a plane (think Aeronca/Cub/TCraft) for the last few years. In the first couple years of ownership, put lots of hours on it and had fun. Last year, as the year went on, I started developing some anxiety in the cockpit, which also seemed to extend to driving my car - nothing absolutely debilitating, but would feel pretty panicky. Eventually got to the point where just doing a lap around the pattern really made me get pretty panicked, so I gave in and started going to therapy, and haven't flow solo since.

Now a few months later, I feel like I've got things under control (at least in my car), no meds involved. Did a review with a CFI and my skills in the plane are fine; having another person in the plane also relieved most fears.

At this point, I want to get back to flying as often as I was a couple years ago, but I find myself nervous about flying solo, in a way I never was - while doing training for PPL, never thought twice about soloing. Fears of mechanical failures, but most of all fears of having a panic attack or something.

Has anyone else experienced this? Does anyone have any advice as I try to get back into the plane?

 

[mandm]

You use the word fear, I use the word aware. There is a real risk flying, and as pilots it’s important to have situational awareness when flying. So there is a part of normalcy to thinking about having issues but you can also be ahead of the airplane and think, where would I land if engine out now, nearest airport, check weather at the airport, etc. Now panicky is a bit concerning, maybe you’re not ok with the risks of flying? You need to ask yourself about it.

Have you set your personal limitations for flying as well? Day VFR with ceiling above 5000’? Follow a road?

 

[Lindberg]

Aviation in itself is not inherently dangerous.

But to an even greater degree than the sea, it is terribly unforgiving of any carelessness, incapacity or neglect.

— Captain A. G. Lamplugh

When I was a kid, I had a book about fear. It's sad, basically, "Fear is good. Fear makes us do what needs to be done."

Flying is a foreign thing. It's unnatural. Being nervous at what you consider low time, is normal and healthy. Being so nervous that you can't get behind the wheel is an issue, but being nervous to the point that you double check your pre-flight and you make sure everything's tip top and you fly with a CFI when you're not sure about your proficiency, is all good.

Have you had a frank talk with your CFI about this? If not, I would suggest that you do. Fly with him enough that you feel relatively comfortable with your skills. Ask him to sit there quietly and do nothing unless absolutely necessary. Then debrief after the flight(s) and have him give a real assessment of your performance. It won't be perfect, but it doesn't need to be. The rest will come with time.