Childhood autism diagnosis

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Concerned parent

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I have a child who just turned 3. Based on an issue with delayed speech, which he'd been making rapid progress on lately, and seeing him being excited and doing a little happy dance for a couple minutes his doctor wants him to be evaluated for autism.

Fortunately we have a bit of a reprieve here, I'm told the waiting list is about a year long and his doctor wants him on the list now so he can get in earlier. Now, if he really does have a problem and needs help then he needs it. However, other than his language skills being a bit behind(and they're rapidly catching up) he acts like a pretty typical 3yo boy to me. I'm concerned about a premature diagnosis putting a label on him that may effect him for life.

As I said, we've probably got a year to observe and evaluate. If he's talking in complete sentences and functioning fine as a then 4 year old I intend to not let him get evaluated. If he's still having issues, well.. that's another story.

The tl;dr question which is the main part that would apply here is what would an early childhood autism spectrum diagnosis mean for his prospects of becoming a pilot? I fly and he already shows interest in planes. I know it's really early but the thought of having to tell him he can never become a pilot when he gets older just makes me sick. Hopefully, it never ends up being an issue and this is all worry for nothing... but if it's not what are the prospects?
 
I think you have the right idea. Dont be too quick to label him. 3is pretty young. If he is unable to keep up with other kids for whatever reason, you will find out about it in kindergarten. Just read a lot to him, get involved in music, if he likes to dance then put him in a class, think about karate or other martial arts. Sing a lot, consider violin or piano. There is a big spectrum in autism and plenty of autistic people are wicked smart and very functional - just not very normal in social behaviors or other areas. It can be hard to get a proper evaluation if the kid is headstrong, because he may just decide to stop answering questions. You can spend a ton of money on shadows and evaluations and frankly I think the home environment and activities have a bigger impact than whatever support the school might provide.
 
Three is way too young to label a kid if all he struggles with is a delay in language. Sometimes, it just takes a little while for a particular skill to manifest. I taught a little boy who didn't really start talking until he was almost four, but when he started talking, he really went to town. He didn't have any issues, he just didn't talk much. I would second the suggestions above. If he is struggling with language, spend a lot of time talking with him - it can even be as simple as engaging in a conversation about something he likes, or what you're driving by, or what you're going to do that day, and talk like you would talk to an adult. Let him listen in while you're talking with other adults, as well. It's amazing how much kids pick up from listening and mimicking the way their parents talk in front of them.
 
Kenny Phillips said:
How does he interact with other tiny humans?
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This. I understand the doctor wants to catch autism early because early intervention can improve the outlook but doctors are notorious for casting the net too wide. Normally maybe no harm is done other than wasted time and money and scaring parents and patients to death with unnecessary tests, but when it comes to the FAA the last thing you need is suspected diagnoses written in your history. Unfortunately this doctor has already noted something in your child’s history. Hopefully it is only delayed speech.

Maybe get this book on late talking children, see if it fits your son:

https://www.amazon.com/Late-Talking-Children-Thomas-Sowell/dp/0465038352

I fully agree with Kenny, interaction with others, certain body mannerisms and other broad behavior patterns are much more telling for autism than simply late talking and 5 minutes jumping around in the doctors office. Since when does a preschooler act reasonable during a doctor appointment?
 
You know, I've found doctors are influenced by what the patient or the parents say, which makes sense. If the parent keeps insisting there is a problem, the doc will test for it. I guess the door is opened here, you should probably do the consult.

My son didn't really start talking until he was three. Took his time potty training. We were a little concerned about it, but the doc said he was fine, so we didn't push it. Meanwhile, other parents were bragging about potty training at 10 months, and complete sentence by 13 months or sooner, made us feel a little bad...... for our first one. What we did notice, was the early "potty trained" kids, would pee and crap their pants regularly, which without a diaper, made a mess. Much better to deal with diapers. The speech stuff, our son began talking a little later, but was never really behind, did fine in school and college, and is successfully launched. Kids are individuals, some move faster than others, be patient.
 
Threads such as this make me wonder how as a species we ever made it past the Napoleanic period
 
Autism is a hot topic right now. Just like back in the 80s ADD/ADHD was. Unfortunately both are fairly nuanced in diagnosis and as such there seems to be a possibility of false positive diagnoses. And when it comes to certain things like flying there is no nuance in the determination of whether or not it affects a person's ability to safely operate an airplane. I don't have kids so I've never done the research as far as progression of demonstrated skills in early childhood but it seems a wait and see attitude may be prudent.
 
This

Rushie said:
This. I understand the doctor wants to catch autism early because early intervention can improve the outlook but doctors are notorious for casting the net too wide. Normally maybe no harm is done other than wasted time and money and scaring parents and patients to death with unnecessary tests, but when it comes to the FAA the last thing you need is suspected diagnoses written in your history. Unfortunately this doctor has already noted something in your child’s history. Hopefully it is only delayed speech.

Maybe get this book on late talking children, see if it fits your son:

https://www.amazon.com/Late-Talking-Children-Thomas-Sowell/dp/0465038352

I fully agree with Kenny, interaction with others, certain body mannerisms and other broad behavior patterns are much more telling for autism than simply late talking and 5 minutes jumping around in the doctors office. Since when does a preschooler act reasonable during a doctor appointment?
Click to expand...


Our son, who is now 19, didn’t talk until almost 5. “Late Talking Children” was a reference in our house. He (our son) just finished his freshman semester @ a well known university, with a 4.0 and a total of 30 hrs. Not every kid fits the mold of all.
 
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Concerned parent said:
I have a child who just turned 3. Based on an issue with delayed speech, which he'd been making rapid progress on lately, and seeing him being excited and doing a little happy dance for a couple minutes his doctor wants him to be evaluated for autism.

Fortunately we have a bit of a reprieve here, I'm told the waiting list is about a year long and his doctor wants him on the list now so he can get in earlier. Now, if he really does have a problem and needs help then he needs it. However, other than his language skills being a bit behind(and they're rapidly catching up) he acts like a pretty typical 3yo boy to me. I'm concerned about a premature diagnosis putting a label on him that may effect him for life.

As I said, we've probably got a year to observe and evaluate. If he's talking in complete sentences and functioning fine as a then 4 year old I intend to not let him get evaluated. If he's still having issues, well.. that's another story.

The tl;dr question which is the main part that would apply here is what would an early childhood autism spectrum diagnosis mean for his prospects of becoming a pilot? I fly and he already shows interest in planes. I know it's really early but the thought of having to tell him he can never become a pilot when he gets older just makes me sick. Hopefully, it never ends up being an issue and this is all worry for nothing... but if it's not what are the prospects?
Click to expand...

As a parent of a child with a real development condition (not 'Steve Jobbs was autistic' fad), and having been on this journey for the past 15 years, I can tell you that doctors have absolutely no clue about this. The entire diagosis is based on symptoms, not an identifiable biological condition. It's like if you had kidney stones, and they ask you where it hurts, and then give you a diagnosis of "aching belly syndrome". It is a complete charade. "We have no idea why your child is not developing normally" would be a more appropriate diagnosis. Autism refers to a specific type of condition related to isolation and lack of social skills. Nowadays every child with development delays is labeled autistic. It is complete nonsense, and can be harmful. The label is just a way for them to stop looking further for the real cause. Many formerly "autistic" kids have been later found to have tumours and seizures, for which there are medical treatments, and have had made full recoveries. If he does get an autism diagnosis, I would encourage you to not stop looking. Autism is just a meaningless phrase. There is most likely an underlying physiological condition.
 
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Thanks to everyone who replied. I feel better seeing many of you agreeing with my line of thinking. I had a lot of worry and self-doubt that I was in denial. Last night I was so worked up I didn't sleep, spent most of the night reading about autism and diagnosis thereof.

So today I watched my kid, really watched him with all I'd read and knew about autism in mind. Yes, when he's happy and excited he jumps around a lot and does a little hand flapping which was the big the thing the doctor worried about. So while he was doing that I said his name. He immediately stopped, looked me in the eye, and came over to see what was up. This kid isn't self-soothing due to over-stimulation he's just happy. He loves noise, flashing lights, and chaos in general. He thrives on it. I took him to an amateur fireworks show back in July.. he bounced around flapping his arms then too with the addition of yelling one of his first words "BOOM!" and a new one "Fireworks!" over and over. He's never shown any issue with textures or anything like that either, I really don't think he has a sensory issue.

The other big thing with autism is social interactions- are they interested in other people and are they able to interact. Well, where we live he hasn't had a lot of opportunities to be around kids his age and I think that plays into the speech delay. I may have goofed by telling the doctor I've seen him interested in other kids and enjoying watching them play but seeming unsure how to join in. My wife, who has been with him more for these encounters, says it depends on the kid and that he's really hit it off with some of them. I also know he likes snuggling with his mom(he said I love you to her recently for the first time). We play games of hide and seek and chasing each other around the living room stomping like a t-rex almost daily. He's loved playing with all of the different adults who have come into his life. I think he really needs more time with other kids his age but would I describe him a having big problems socializing? I really wouldn't, I don't think that's my kid.

Many of you as well as other parents we've talked to have mentioned having kids who were even farther behind our son at their age. These kids are now perfectly normal and functional... I hear that same story again and again.

I really wish we could just go in and talk to a professional without putting down any official diagnosis yet. I hate that my choices are wait and hope or roll the dice on what I really think would be a premature diagnosis. That's apparently just not how the system is setup to work unfortunately.

Right now I think I'm sticking to my guns, as I said they told us the wait for an evaluation was around a year so we can keep our place in line in case things don't improve. He has undeniably been improving and my gut says he'll continue to do so. I want to at least give him a chance to get into preschool before risking saddling him with a lifelong label.

Thanks so much to all of you, the support means a lot.
 
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