Ghery
Touchdown! Greaser!
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2005
- Messages
- 10,903
- Location
- Olympia, Washington
- Display Name
Display name:
Ghery Pettit
Forwarded from the director of the Olympia Choral Society -
Lines from the retired conductor of The New Hampshire Symphony:
"Play slow enough to be exact."
"It's eleganza -- you sound like Woolworth's."
"Under no circumstances should anyone look at me here."
"For that, they have milking machines."
"If you won't watch, I won't listen."
"I'll try to spit equally in both directions so everyone will know
where we are."
"Play in a kind of Friday-matinee style."
"Look artistic when you play that."
"Try and simulate non-sight-reading."
"Please don't use the depth-charge pizzicato."
(To cellos) "You sound like your fingers are doing the walking
through the Yellow Pages."
"It says accelerando. It's not like falling downstairs."
"Play that for your dogs and cats. When they stop howling, you've
got it right."
"It doesn't need to be good, it just needs to be loud."
"There is a lot of fishing for notes. I wish you would catch them."
"Play as if you were musicians."
"Play faster. It's getting late."
"Horns, imagine that you've had a really ugly breakfast and it's
about to come up."
(In Beethoven's 6th) "My God, it's a brook, not the ocean. I'm
getting seasick."
"Strings, I know what you're thinking: 'With all this racket going
on, why am I playing?' Well, there's no time for existential
questions right now."
"It's a little bit note-sniffing right now."
"It sounds as if you're all doing your income taxes."
"I may do something artistic there, which means I'm going to drag."
"Violins, don't try to play the accents, just try to get through the
part without dropping your bows."
"Imagine you're getting enough money for what you do."
[Rehearsing "Orpheus in the Underworld"]
"Not so bright. It sounds like 'Orpheus in His Underwear.'"
"Don't make those chicken sounds before the beat."
"It's a place you can fake, but fake softer."
"When I make the really big twitch, then play."
"Let's pretend we played that right and go to letter A."
"It sounds like a singer being drowned."
"Play it as if you had good rhythm instead of what you have."
"It's not going to be a nice tempo, whatever it is."
"It's no use telling the violas, they won't do it anyway."
"That's a laser sound, a killer trill."
"That was a drive-by viola solo."
"Don't express your hatred for your parents there."
"Try vibrato in case you don't make the D-sharp."
"Pretend you took the parts home and practiced them."
"I'm going to be very flexible, and that means you won't have a clue
as to what's going to happen."
"Why did you take up the violin if you don't want to play it?"
"Play like you've had expensive lessons."
(To basses) "I will fire the next one I see using vibrato on a
pizzicato."
"Play short, especially if you don't know where you are."
"Listen to the tune, and then accompany it in a non-disgraceful
fashion."
"Let's see if you can pizzicato together in a non-banjo way."
"You're all wondering what speed it's going to go. Well, so am I."
"You know, there's a fine line between artistry and sh_t. Not that
what you're doing is sh_t, but it's close to it."
"The place where you will all be shot if you come in early is the
bar before 26."
"It's very hard to raise money for something that sounds like that."
"Now forget all the nasty things I said and play naturally."
Lines from the retired conductor of The New Hampshire Symphony:
"Play slow enough to be exact."
"It's eleganza -- you sound like Woolworth's."
"Under no circumstances should anyone look at me here."
"For that, they have milking machines."
"If you won't watch, I won't listen."
"I'll try to spit equally in both directions so everyone will know
where we are."
"Play in a kind of Friday-matinee style."
"Look artistic when you play that."
"Try and simulate non-sight-reading."
"Please don't use the depth-charge pizzicato."
(To cellos) "You sound like your fingers are doing the walking
through the Yellow Pages."
"It says accelerando. It's not like falling downstairs."
"Play that for your dogs and cats. When they stop howling, you've
got it right."
"It doesn't need to be good, it just needs to be loud."
"There is a lot of fishing for notes. I wish you would catch them."
"Play as if you were musicians."
"Play faster. It's getting late."
"Horns, imagine that you've had a really ugly breakfast and it's
about to come up."
(In Beethoven's 6th) "My God, it's a brook, not the ocean. I'm
getting seasick."
"Strings, I know what you're thinking: 'With all this racket going
on, why am I playing?' Well, there's no time for existential
questions right now."
"It's a little bit note-sniffing right now."
"It sounds as if you're all doing your income taxes."
"I may do something artistic there, which means I'm going to drag."
"Violins, don't try to play the accents, just try to get through the
part without dropping your bows."
"Imagine you're getting enough money for what you do."
[Rehearsing "Orpheus in the Underworld"]
"Not so bright. It sounds like 'Orpheus in His Underwear.'"
"Don't make those chicken sounds before the beat."
"It's a place you can fake, but fake softer."
"When I make the really big twitch, then play."
"Let's pretend we played that right and go to letter A."
"It sounds like a singer being drowned."
"Play it as if you had good rhythm instead of what you have."
"It's not going to be a nice tempo, whatever it is."
"It's no use telling the violas, they won't do it anyway."
"That's a laser sound, a killer trill."
"That was a drive-by viola solo."
"Don't express your hatred for your parents there."
"Try vibrato in case you don't make the D-sharp."
"Pretend you took the parts home and practiced them."
"I'm going to be very flexible, and that means you won't have a clue
as to what's going to happen."
"Why did you take up the violin if you don't want to play it?"
"Play like you've had expensive lessons."
(To basses) "I will fire the next one I see using vibrato on a
pizzicato."
"Play short, especially if you don't know where you are."
"Listen to the tune, and then accompany it in a non-disgraceful
fashion."
"Let's see if you can pizzicato together in a non-banjo way."
"You're all wondering what speed it's going to go. Well, so am I."
"You know, there's a fine line between artistry and sh_t. Not that
what you're doing is sh_t, but it's close to it."
"The place where you will all be shot if you come in early is the
bar before 26."
"It's very hard to raise money for something that sounds like that."
"Now forget all the nasty things I said and play naturally."
