December 7, 1941, the day that the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. On this very day, a Pennsylvania dentist named Lytle S. Adams was driving home from a vacation at Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico. Like many Americans, he heard the news on the radio. Adams was furious and wanted to bring the Japanese to their knees. His solution was simple: Get a million bats, cool them down into a state of hibernation, and attach incendiary bombs to them. Then, when over the targeted Japanese city, release them all at one time. As they fell, the bats would reawaken and seek shelter in the dark nooks and crannies of homes and businesses. A few minutes later, all of the bombs would go off and light the city ablaze. No city could be prepared for so many fires and the Japanese would surrender immediately.
Normally, an idea like this would go nowhere. But Adams was also a partner in Tri-State Aviation, which eventually grew into the near bankrupt US Air. Occasionally, he gave free rides to a lady named Eleanor Roosevelt. (Ever hear of her?) Doc Adams mentioned his scheme to her, and she relayed the message to FDR. Within a short time, the government was spending big bucks on bat bomb research. Sounds crazy, but it’s true. The bat bomb program was proven to be effective, but was eventually dropped in favor of the power of the atom.
In the US war against Osama bin Laden and terrorism, it has been pointed out over and over that this is going to be one tough war. Our enemies live in caves. Our armies just don’t know how to fight such a war. Big weapons just won’t work in this case.
But wait! Did someone say caves? What is the first thing that you think of when you hear the word caves? I almost guarantee that it is either bats or Batman himself. Maybe it’s time to revisit Doc Adams’ bat bomb…
I honestly don’t know if I am serious or just kidding around here. The bat bomb is the perfect weapon. The bats will automatically seek shelter in the caves and force the enemy out of hiding. It could possibly save the lives of many people on both sides of the fence. All the government needs to do is dig out the records on this project and resurrect the program. It worked back then and would surely work today.
Of course, there are those that will scream that this is cruel to the bats. But, as I started thinking about it, we may not have to kill the bats. We could just arm them with really, really bad stink bombs. You know, something that smells so bad that no one will be able to stay near them. The bats will survive and the enemy will have no choice but to come running out and surrender.
Of course, unlike Doc Adams, I have no way of getting the government’s ear with my idea. I don’t own an airline and I have never met our First Lady. Maybe I should contact Batman himself, Adam West…
