A Really Hard One To Deal With

HPNPilot1200

HPNPilot1200

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Jason
I just received word just recently from Brandon (corny357) that our long time flight instructor and friend, Tom Beary, has passed away.

Tom was an amazing guy. At 6 feet, 6 inches (maybe even 6 feet 8 inches), I still do not know to this day how he fit in a Cessna 172. Walking around the FBO, I felt like a little kid around a huge giant, but it was only an appearance. Tom was one of the nicest guys I've ever had the privilege of knowing and learning something from. Whether I sat next to him at the computer in the classroom for two minutes checking whether, or had a long discussion on aerodynamics over a cup of coffee and a slice of cheesecake in the kitchen, I always felt comfortable and really glad to know the guy. He would always forget who I was, but I knew he recognized the face after a while and was just pulling my leg.

He was an amazing person, a fantastic instructor, and will be missed dearly. As the title suggest, this is going to be a really hard one for me to deal with. Fortunately you can't see my face right now, but tears are rolling down my face after writing and reflecting on the above text, but I know Tom is in a better place, feeling much less pain, and that makes me happy. And although I didn't have the opportunity to visit him at the hospice, I did get to send a card with a picture attached, which I hope he received. It sure does put life into perspective.

Blue skies, Tom, blue skies. You will be missed.

Jason
 
Fair winds, Tom. Sincerest condolences at the loss of your friend and guide, Jason.

-Andrew
 
Jason, I'm sorry for the loss.

We have numerous "old timers" around CXO who are loved and appreciated. A few are former instructors who now only fly. I hope I learn from them and learn to appreciate them as others have before they are taken.
 
Jason,

Sorry to hear of your loss. It is comforting to know that he shared his passion of flight and his aviation wisdom with those he obviously thought fondly of, hold on to those memories.
 
Jason,

Know that one of the best things in life is to be respected and appreciated by your friends. Tom obviously had that in his life. I'm sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences to his family.
 
HPNPilot1200 said:
It sure does put life into perspective.


Jason
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Jason DO NOT FORGET the words you wrote above. Sounds like you were privledged to know him. My condolences. Also sounds like he would want you to just go flying and remember him that way.
 
After having a discussion with Jason online basically about how it's important to be strong in these kinds of situations, I'm sitting here crying myself. It's yet another testament to just how amazing of a person Tom was.

Tom never ceased to amaze me when we had a conversation. Kind, funny, knowledgeable, 6' 8", and loved by *everybody* at Panorama, Tom was a once in a lifetime person, friend, and flight instructor.

What you see written here by Jason and me does not do him justice. He really was just that great of a guy and will be missed. My thoughts go out to his family.
 
sorry to hear that Jason, its always tough to lose friends.
 
Jason (and Brandon), I'm sorry for your loss. Over the past few years I've lost several people important to me who I have had the privilege of knowing and learning from, as well.

Those we love live on after they are gone by our memories and by us working to be more like them by embodying their traits that were loved so dearly in ourselves.
 
Jason and Brandon...I'm sorry to hear of the passing of your friend, instructor, and mentor. This must be tough to deal with...he sounded like an incredible gentleman.
 
Thanks everyone, it really means a lot. I should have mentioned in my previous post that Gil Velez was also a good friend of Tom's and flew with him on many occasions.

I think Ted's comment hit spot on, "Those we love live on after they are gone by our memories and by us working to be more like them by embodying their traits that were loved so dearly in ourselves."

It's my hope to continue Tom's legacy through everything he taught me. He will never be forgotten, that's for sure. He was one strange fellow, but the nicest, most knowledgeable you'd ever get to meet.
 
HPNPilot1200 said:
It's my hope to continue Tom's legacy through everything he taught me. He will never be forgotten, that's for sure. He was one strange fellow, but the nicest, most knowledgeable you'd ever get to meet.
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This is indeed a good thing to do. A few years ago, a friend of mine who sounds similar to Tom died in his sleep of a heart attack. When I was in high school and getting started with Jaguars, I was fortunate enough to meet Bradley and get to ride in his car, a twin-supercharged XJ-S. To say that his car was something all of us in the XJ-S scene admired and envied was an understatement.

The man behind the wheel, however, was a man of great patience, understanding, intelligence, education, and life experience. Someone who could tell you all kinds of stories, never had an unkind word to say about anyone, and also was interested in listening and learning from everyone - even the high school kid who didn't know anything. I remember one comment of his about me - "And we have the teenager [me]. Here is a young man who knows so much already at his young age. In 10 years, his knowledge will be truly encyclopedic."

He died a year and a half ago, and I have shed many tears over losing him. I strive to fulfill the words he said about me, though, and to be more like him every day. I wish I could show him my present car, I wish that I could take him flying and talk to him about what I am doing now - his predictions for my future so far have been spot-on. For the time being, I can only hope that he is watching me and has seen what I have been up to. I think if he saw my life today, he would smile, and say to me "Good show, teenager" (even though now I'm 23).

Anyways, ending the thread hijacking. Once again, Jason, I'm sorry for your loss.
 
Guys, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Blue skies and tailwinds for your flight West, Tom.
 
Jason, my friend, I'm reallly sorry to have lost our friend Tom. Since you called me with the news last night, I 've been so depressed that even my secretary this morning was asking what was wrong with me. But nothing compares to the guilt in my heart for putting off our visit to the hospice. Now he's gone.

I have good memories of Tom and plenty of stories. He was very generous with his talent and his tremendous teaching skills. But he was even more generous with his heart and his pocket. I know that he sponsored several poor kids from the Phillipines where he served in the military and a country to which he was tied emotionally. To this day he kept that up, he had just put one through college and nursing school. I know that because he asked me to help her get a job in the US. He was generous, no other word to describe it.

He was generous with his time. I once pull him aside and told him that I wanted to learn to fly my plane from the right seat. He just asked what was I doing and when I answered, "Nothing" he just said, "Let's go flying." And flying we did, for a couple of hours. When we were done and I pulled my wallet to pay him he said: "never doctor, I could never charge you, you're my friend. He always did call me doctor, no matter how many times I asked him to call me Gil. He pushed me to take my CFI and ATP written tests, always with a word of encouragement. As a teacher, nothing was impossible to him.

I'm much older than you Jason and you know it, yet I can say that every time I had a converstion with Tom, I learned something. I know he cared for me because he took the time to give me free and unsolicited advice. You've got to have guts and heart to do that and to do it expecting nothing in return.

I'll always have a place in my heart for Tom Bearry.

Brandon, I don't know you but you're a friend of Jason, enough said. I'm really sorry for your loss. One of these days, we'll do the missing man formation for Tom Bearry.
 
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Guys, it sounds like we lost a truly great one. Your tributes are so moving that I have tears running down my cheeks too. He obviously lived a life to which we can all aspire. Tailwinds, Tom! And condolences to those left behind, both those who had the privilege of knowing him and those who didn't.
 
TeenDoc said:
Jason, my friend, I'm reallly sorry to have lost our friend Tom. Since you called me with the news last night, I 've been so depressed that even my secretary this morning was asking what was wrong with me. But nothing compares to the guilt in my heart for putting off our visit to the hospice. Now he's gone.

I have good memories of Tom and plenty of stories. He was very generous with his talent and his tremendous teaching skills. But he was even more generous with his heart and his pocket. I know that he sponsored several poor kids from the Phillipines where he served in the military and a country to which he was tied emotionally. To this day he kept that up, he had just put one through college and nursing school. I know that because he asked me to help her get a job in the US. He was generous, no other word to describe it.

He was generous with his time. I once pull him aside and told him that I wanted to learn to fly my plane from the right seat. He just asked what was I doing and when I answered, "Nothing" he just said, "Let's go flying." And flying we did, for a couple of hours. When we were done and I pulled my wallet to pay him he said: "never doctor, I could never charge you, you're my friend. He always did call me doctor, no matter how many times I asked him to call me Gil. He pushed me to take my CFI and ATP written tests, always with a word of encouragement. As a teacher, nothing was impossible to him.

I'm much older than you Jason and you know it, yet I can say that every time I had a converstion with Tom, I learned something. I know he cared for me because he took the time to give me free and unsolicited advice. You've got to have guts and heart to do that and to do it expecting nothing in return.

I'll always have a place in my heart for Tom Bearry.

Brandon, I don't know you but you're a friend of Jason, enough said. I'm really sorry for your loss. One of these days, we'll do the missing man formation for Tom Bearry.
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Oh boy, he sure was generous. I'll never forget sitting next to him at the computer on November 4th, 2007, while he was booking a trip to Cebu in the Philippines on Cathay Pacific. As I was checking weather for my solo cross country, he told me what he was doing and how he sponsored many young people in the Philippines and got one through college as you mentioned, and was astounded that I didn't know where the city of Cebu was. I can still hear his deep voice right now saying, "You don't know where Cebu is?!? That's like saying you don't know where Tokyo is."

We launched into a discussion about his mission in the Philippines which somehow led to a long dialogue about religion and that he was so happy that I still practice Judaism. I couldn't believe the smile that resonated out from his face when I told him I was still religious. He didn't care what religion, just that I did practice some sort of faith. That says a lot about the guy. Tom was definitely one of the strangest guys I've ever encountered, but nothing short of the nicest, kindest, most sincere person.

We will definitely have fly the missing man formation someday soon, for Tom. Although we never made the trip down to see him in his final few weeks, Tom will be watching over us as we fly for the rest of our lives. His spirit will live on, and I'm sure all of us will carry on his legacy.

While I have you on here -- did you find out any information from Jon about funeral arrangements, etc?
 
Ya know guys. I offered my condolences above but I just have to post again. Your tributes are so very warm and touching that I feel like I really understand what a great person Tom was and may I say he was also lucky to have people such as yourself that thought so highly of him.
 
HPNPilot1200 said:
We will definitely have fly the missing man formation someday soon, for Tom.
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Just a suggestion - and I hope it isn't too late - but how about trying to arrange doing this over the cemetary during the committal service?
 
Oh man, sorry to hear about Tom. I had noticed he wasn't hanging around Panorama the past few months. I took a ground lesson with him once when my regular instructor was out (he told me we'd never go flying together in a 172, he was about 260, me 300lbs), since then every time I saw him he would shout out a test question and finish with 'hey Irish, no Jameson before takeoff'. I think Tom was an ex NYC cop, right? What a character! Rest in Peace Tom.
 
Also, talking about generous, the time he gave me a ground lesson he brought me to the main hangar and showed me under the hoods of all the planes being worked on, brought me to the computer room and went over all the ways to get weather, basically gave me a 2.5 hr lesson and when I got the bill, I was charged for 1 hour.
 
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