A question for the ladies here...

smigaldi said:
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Want to tell us about the not nice ones?
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Never dealt with anyone really creepy. Radio "bosses". Ground "bosses" (you can't park there, or there, or there...). Curmudgeons (see the owner of Smith Mountain Lake for that one, although he can be softened up). Those constitute more of a "cold" reception than anyone "bad".

Knock on wood, never had anything stolen from a plane, so far...

And I've gotten more help from people at airports, then probably anywhere else I've ever travelled. Pilots, generally, seem willing to look out for pilots.

Jim G
 
What does it matter? 1 in 3 or 1 in 10? Penetration, assault, harrassment, or simply lewd looks? Diana's question is designed to avoid any and all of it. What degree of creepy is OK?

I go back to my original statements - I trust my instincts and I trust pilots. Maybe that's good enough.
 
flyingcheesehead said:
Me too, but that's a much easier perspective to have as a 6'4" big dude than it is otherwise. :yes:

However, I was really bummed when I was walking alone one night as two women arrived home, parked in their driveway, and got out of the car. One saw me walking down the sidewalk towards them, screamed "RUN!" and they ran inside the house. :( Made me feel really good. :no:
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I had that happen when I was in college. I was walking back to the dorm in the snow. This girl several hundred feet in front of me happened to take the route I'm taking. At some point she turns around looks at me and RUNS. I've had similar experiences walking home from the train. I can't help it if we happen to live in the same direction. I guess I need to cross the street?

But I just had an absolutely worse ego bruiser coming home from work. In a nutshell, stopped at the crosswalk with a crowd of commuters waiting for the light, my mind wanders and I stare off into space. I vaguely notice this average looking young girl at the other end of the crowd, who sees me looking in her direction, shakes her head violently in a obvious display of disgust. I guess I shouldn't be allowed out in public. :dunno:

Anyway, this thread gives me insight into what females have to worry about. I don't think I'd hesitate for a second if I was offered a ride.
 
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I'm with Aunt Peggy and Kate. Talk a while, get a feel for the guy and go with my instincts. (Or pull out another MRE! Choose the lesser of two evils)

Barb
 
I have offered men and women rides on numerous occasions. Sometimes the women accept and sometimes they decline. Can't say I blame them for declining but my southern hospitality tells me to offer the ride none the less.
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Female Tower Controller: Piper two, two, zulu... what are your intentions?

Male Pilot: Strictly honorable, maam... strictly honorable.
 
Interesting that I read this just as I come back from completing my first night solo flight. I agree with Aunt Peggy, Kate and Barb - maybe, but trust that instinct.

That, and trust the backup granola bar in your flight bag - having options on the ground as well as in the air is a good thing...

I'd like to think that pilots in general are a special group, and hopefully less likely to harm another pilot than Joe Who off the street. But, sometimes you just don't know.

Sad to be overly cautious, but I consider personal safety not just from the view of a female pilot, but also from the view of a member of a minority group. Having had my share of raised eyebrows, the 'gee, I wouldn't have pictured you to look like this based on your name and voice on the phone' reactions, and those who, even today, don't think 'we' should be flying, results in a raised level of radar, I guess. Can't explain how I know when something just doesn't feel right, I just pay attention to it when that feeling comes up.
 
mikea said:
I had that happen when I was in college. I was walking back to the dorm in the snow. This girl several hundred feet in front of me happened to take the route I'm taking. At some point she turns around looks at me and RUNS. I've had similar experiences walking home from the train. I can't help it if we happen to live in the same direction. I guess I need to cross the street?

But I just had an absolutely worse ego bruiser coming home from work. In a nutshell, stopped at the crosswalk with a crowd of commuters waiting for the light, my mind wanders and I stare off into space. I vaguely notice this average looking young girl at the other end of the crowd, who sees me looking in her direction, shakes her head violently in a obvious display of disgust. I guess I shouldn't be allowed out in public. :dunno:

Anyway, this thread gives me insight into what females have to worry about. I don't think I'd hesitate for a second if I was offered a ride.
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I've been there, scaring women.

One time, I pulled up front of a friend's house and got out of my car. A lady about two houses up had just parked as well, when I got out of my car, I saw her look at me and freeze in place.

Seeing she was scared, I nicely started to say "How's it going?" I got as far as "How......" and she literally screamed "HELP!!" and ran into her house.

I stood on the sidewalk shaking because she scared the crap out of me.
 
I was in the position of scaring a woman one time, okay, twice. I was walking home, and saw the woman in front of me was my sister-in-law, who was living with me at the time. I was hurrying to catch up with her, far enough back that I didn't want to be yelling down the street, when I saw her pulling her keys out of her purse and putting them between her fingers. At that point, I started calling out so she knew it was me.

Another time, in the same apartment, I came home and the chain was on the door. We had one with a key that could be unlocked, so I reached up to do that only to find the door being SLAMMED shut! I (barely) escaped with my fingers intact. Apparently Jennifer, our roommate at the time, had had a row with her boyfriend, and though I was him, trying to get in.

Note that neither of these women were what you would consider to be wilting violets or incapable of looking after themselves. Given the level of fear I've felt from them, I never knock a woman who says she feels uncomfortable in a situation. I just wish it weren't so and that it was totally without basis in reality.
 
Diana said:
You are by yourself, land at an airport, and need to eat, but the only way into town is a ride with one of the male pilots hanging out by the FBO. Do you go with him, even if you don’t know anything about him, or don’t know if he is really a pilot?
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There are lady pilots? :confused: I've heard they exist, but I've never actually met one.

Male or female, I don't know that I'd offer a ride to any pilot I didn't know these days. But then again I live in the NE so I tend to think of everything in terms of potential for someone to sue me, file charges against me or otherwise take my house.

Of course, that being said, I know so many people from online forums that I probably wouldn't hesitate to offer a ride if I knew your screen name. I never said that my logic made sense. ;)
 
Joe Gremlin said:
There are lady pilots? :confused: I've heard they exist, but I've never actually met one.
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I don't see a smiley face, but I'll assume that you're kidding here, right? If not, you might want to go find a very big rock to hide behind on this board! LOL!


I've certainly offered rides to pilots flying into my airport before. We don''t have a crew car, so it's just a courteous thing to do. Haven't had occaision to offer a ride to a female pilot that I didn't already know, though.
 
Interesting question. I'm trying to think if I've ever been in this situation. As much flying as I've done, I must have been. If so, I guess I went with my instincts.

I don't think women are necessarily being paranoid or living in fear, just exercising good judgment. In flying, are we giving in to fear if we choose not to fly because the weather is marginal? The fact is, male-on-female assaults happen. They may be unusual in the grand scheme of things, but they happen.

Someone said "YMMV", and I think that's another factor that makes me think there isn't one answer to this question. Comparing notes with female colleagues who are petite and pretty (which I'm not--some might call me good-looking, but never pretty), they have faced an entire set of challenges in their lives that I've never encountered, just by virtue of their looks. Being tall and strong-looking (and naturally assertive) gives me a huge advantage over other women in all kinds of situations, especially when it comes to interacting with men. I guess it's not hard for most men to imagine I could and would break their noses or bust their balls if I had to, so they don't get themselves into situation with me where I might do that.

So I've lived life fairly fear-free. Even when I lived in Hyde Park in Chicago, which at the time was still not completely gentrified, I never really felt fear. I was cautious, but not paranoid.

Judy
 
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I'm going to go with most of the others, that I would talk to them then go with instinct. I have to say that I'm with Judy. I'm big and can hold my own agianst all but the largest of guys so I'm fairly confident I can defend myself which leads to that attitude being shown outward. Though I would have to say if an unknown guy was walking behind me for a length of time the key would be going between the fingers, etc. There is a lot to be said for being prepared.

Missa
 
The most important thing a woman can do to prevent herself from becoming the victim of an assault is look confident. Size doesn't really matter if you look the potential attacker in the eye and appear as if you aren't intimidated. Most aggressors will back down if their chosen victim looks like she'll put up a fight. I say most because of the 4 identified types of rapists, the Sadistic rapist will only get more excited by strong assertive women who will fight him. Thankfully, only about 5% of rapists fall in to that category. Unfortunately, it's impossible to identify which one you may be dealing with when the attack occurs. That's why I would never recommend a woman get into any car alone with a stranger.

Having said that, I do agree that as a whole, the flying community is a fairly upstanding and trustworthy group of people. And on whole they tend to be more in tune with their instincts than the general population (just my opinion..no stats to back that up). But instincts can be wrong. Pilots understand risk analysis. And I think if a woman found herself alone with a unknown male at an airport, chances are he's a pilot that would understand if she told him that she appreciated his offer of a ride to town for food, but common sense told her it might not be smart to get in to a car with a perfect stranger. I'll bet he'd understand that and offer some other type of assistance.

But as stated earlier, I'd be packing, so my opinion may not be worth much. :D
 
ausrere said:
The most important thing a woman can do to prevent herself from becoming the victim of an assault is look confident. Size doesn't really matter if you look the potential attacker in the eye and appear as if you aren't intimidated. Most aggressors will back down if their chosen victim looks like she'll put up a fight.
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Excellent advice, for both men and women. I can't tell you how many cases I've handled over the years where the assault/robbery/etc happened to that particular victim because they were clueless. How often do you see someone you know, walking down the street, absolutely clueless that you are even there, or that there is anyone even around them? If you don't know that someone is around you, on that dark street, you make yourself a target much more so than the people who look you in the eye.

My wife, on more than one occasion, says she has felt she has deterred potential trouble by making eye contact with a possible assailant. Of course, some of the mental health cases walking the street will react negatively to eye contact, so...

It's sad in this modern era that we all have to be so thoughtful of our safety while out on the streets.

Jim G
 
Twice, over the years, I've stumbled into situations where I just wanted out.

Both times, at night, I was walking somewhere, turned a corner, and ended up 20-30 feet behind a woman walking alone. Both times I saw them look over their shoulders and both times I thought - "Oh, no. How do I get out of this without looking suspicious enough to get blasted with Mace, or worse?".

Paranoia (caution?) goes both ways.
 
Missa said:
Well, Nick after seeing some of the claim pictures of you with a beard... I can understand how that could happen! :hairraise:



Just Joking...

Missa
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LOL, yeah, I guess I look quite grizzly with a full beard, eh?
 
judypilot said:
So I've lived life fairly fear-free. Even when I lived in Hyde Park in Chicago, which at the time was still not completely gentrified, I never really felt fear. I was cautious, but not paranoid.
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Both of the incidents I related took place within a block of our apartment at 54th & Kimbark!
 
It's not just the ladies, unfortunately. A while back (12? 13 years ago) I was on my harley with my then-fiance. We were stopped at a traffic light, and we were in the inside lane. A car pulls up in the outside lane and stops at the light. There were two couples in the car, a male driving. As they pulled up I glanced over there (just seeing who's pulling up next to me - yer kind of vulnerable on a bike and it's good to keep your eyes peeled). The guy driving looked over and then LOCKED THE DOORS ON THE CAR. I could not believe it. What did he possibly think I was going to do? Drop the bike and go open his door to ... something? Sheesh. So I did the only thing I could do in response. I embarrassed the hell out of him. While looking over at him in surprise, I tapped my girlfriend on the leg to get her attention and told her what he just did, while shaking my head in amazement and pointing right at him. She looked at him with this "I can't believe how you are" look (she had a black belt in that look, let me tell ya) and shook her head in amazement.

He had the good grace to smile, look extremely embarrassed and apologetic. It didn't help his cause to have the other three people in his car laughing their a$$es off at him, either. :D :D :D
 
Ron Levy said:
Never had any woman scared of me...sigh...
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Oh, I dunno, Ron. You scare me. You're much more experienced than I am as a CFII, and I'm always very careful what I post for fear of appearing stupid in your eyes.:cheerswine:

Judy
 
gprellwitz said:
Both of the incidents I related took place within a block of our apartment at 54th & Kimbark!
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LOL! Yeah, I'm not surprised. A lot of people seemed very paranoid (this was back in the late 70s). One of my friends got mugged, but I never even came close. Of course, I've always been pretty good at looking confident, so I guess I didn't appear to be a prey species. On the other hand, I didn't just blithely walk around oblivious, either. I had a couple of other friends (white) who decided it was racist to fear walking around the neighborhood south of the Midway. A cop (black) picked them up and took them back to Hyde Park and told them to stop being stupid.

Judy
 
gprellwitz said:
I don't see a smiley face, but I'll assume that you're kidding here, right?
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Yes I was kidding.

But I wasn't kidding about the other part. In this day and age, I don't think I would offer a ride to anyone I didn't know. At the same time, I don't think I'd accept a ride from anyone I didn't know (male or female) unless they were an employee of the airport or FBO.
 
judypilot said:
LOL! Yeah, I'm not surprised. A lot of people seemed very paranoid (this was back in the late 70s).
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Only about seven years before Leslie and me.
judypilot said:
Of course, I've always been pretty good at looking confident,
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Don't you mean "pretty good looking and confident"?:yes:

The only time I've had occasion to give a ride to someone from the airport was when there were three guys heading in to a hotel about 10 miles away. I had nothing better to do that day, so I told them to hop in. Unsurprisingly, they didn't hesitate!
 
On judging people by looks, demeanor, and avocation: I still trust my instincts, but always with a tiny shred of doubt. I almost went into partnership with a guy on an airplane. He was the nicest person, hanging around the FBO. Everyone liked him and he seemd to be a good pilot.

Less than a year later, he was in jail for child molestation. Everyone was floored, and I was really shaken up. The gal who finally did go into partnership with him lost her shirt.

Judy
 
Just found this interesting thread.

A lot of reference to statistics and risk analysis here.

Please all (not just ladies), don't base your decisions just on statistics! Intuition is at least as good, likely much better.

Do know that statistics have absolutely nothing predictive to say about any individual person or event.

Another way of saying this is:

The odds may be 4 to one, 40 to one, 400 to one, all the way to 4 million to one and more...

It doesn't make any difference,

if you are the one!

Risk Analysis is important but this question more accurately needs a version of Risk/Benefit analysis...

Call it Risk/Consequence, if you will...

The odds of anything bad happening to you by deciding to accept a ride at the FBO are extremely small...

But the consequences of you being wrong can be huge.

Don't be scared. But do be careful! :yes:

Best,

Will
 
psyfly said:
A lot of reference to statistics and risk analysis here.

Please all (not just ladies), don't base your decisions just on statistics! Intuition is at least as good, likely much better.
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Would you say that intuition is statistically better than trusting statistics?

Sorry, I couldn't resist. :redface:
 
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