A Feel Good Aviation Story

Stingray Don

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Stingray Don
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that airplane."

Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that airplane ride costs 50 dollars, and 50 dollars is 50 dollars."

One year Morris and Esther went to the fair and Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that airplane I might never get another chance."

Esther replied, "Morris, that airplane ride costs 50 dollars, and 50 is dollars is 50 dollars."

The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you; but if you say one word it's 50 dollars."

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

Morris replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Esther fell out, but 50 dollars is 50 dollars."
 
This is a conversation between a man and his girlfriend. Note that she asks him seven questions, which he answers quite simply. But she is speechless after only one question from him.

Woman: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes.
Woman: How many beers per day?
Man: Usually about three.
Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: About $5, which includes the tip. (Here’s the part where it begins to get scary.)
Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I reckon.
Woman: So, you drink 3 beers a day at $5 per beer, that averages about $465 a month which is $5,475 per year, correct?
Man: Yeah, that’s about right.
Woman: If you’re spending $5,475 per year, not accounting for inflation, then for 20 years you’ve spent about $109,500 - is that right?
Man: Yeah, I guess that’s about right.
Woman: Do you know if you didn’t drink so much beer and instead, put that money in a savings account earning interest compounded for the past 20 years - you could have bought an airplane?
Man: Do you drink beer?
Woman: No.
Man: Where’s your plane?
 
The wife said there wasn’t enough money it the budget to fund my couple of cases of beer each month and I would have to cut way back.
I looked over the budget and noted she had $50 per month for cosmetics. I asked her why she needed $50 of makeup each month and she replied. “The cosmetics make me look beautiful for you.”
I told her “That’s what the beer is for!”.
 
The wife said there wasn’t enough money it the budget to fund my couple of cases of beer each month and I would have to cut way back.
I looked over the budget and noted she had $50 per month for cosmetics. I asked her why she needed $50 of makeup each month and she replied. “The cosmetics make me look beautiful for you.”
I told her “That’s what the beer is for!”.

And that's the last thing he remembers...:D
 
The wife said there wasn’t enough money it the budget to fund my couple of cases of beer each month and I would have to cut way back.
I looked over the budget and noted she had $50 per month for cosmetics. I asked her why she needed $50 of makeup each month and she replied. “The cosmetics make me look beautiful for you.”
I told her “That’s what the beer is for!”.


I said something like that to my wife once.

I didn’t see her for three days.

By the fourth day, the swelling began to go down a little and I could make out fuzzy images with my left eye.
 
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