A day in the life of....

Sac Arrow

Sac Arrow

Touchdown! Greaser!
Joined
May 11, 2010
Messages
21,566
Location
Charlotte, NC
Display Name
Snorting his way across the USA
I'll start. 6PC.

The cold splash of rancid milk jolted the naked and dirty 6PC from a drunken stupor as the bright sun rose over the horizon. He climbed out of the dumpster, put on a torn and shredded jumpsuit, climbed in his modified Outback and drifted the corners all the way home.

Mrs. PC was standing at the doorway. "Six, honey, Captain started another thread while you were gone. Actually, three of them."

"Dear god no!" He grabbed the bottle of Stolichnaya sitting on the garage shelf, chugged the remaining quarter, and tossed the bottle on to the garage floor, scaring the dog. He straggled over to the computer, and logged in. "Okay. Game on. Watch this."

"Daddy, I need to get to basketball practice. Can you drive me to school?"

"Not now, not now. I'm trying to draw the foul. Figuratively. Kind of like, you know, in basketball. But we can apply the laws of basketball in every aspect of life. That's an important lesson."

"But, you can practice learning the HSI using Foreflight at the same time."

"Good point, let's go." Ten minutes later, the two were blazing down the road, zig zagging the magenta line, watching the CDI needle wave from the right to the left. "I think I'm getting it, yeah."

"Daddy, this isn't the way to school."

"Yeah I have a better idea. Let's fly the SR22 to Vail and go skiing. I want to rock my mad skillez while you video the whole thing with the Iphone."

"Rock on then." Two hours later, the SR22 was parked at... some abandoned airstrip in Oklahoma. "This isn't Vail."

"Yeah I know, I told mom we would be back by dinner." PC junior inserted his golden, diamond studded grill over his teeth, pulled the Glock out of his pants, and shot at the street signs Ghetto style, as they headed for the mountains. Which, were several hundreds of miles away. So, instead, they just drifted ANOTHER tricked out Outback all over the back state roads, eluded a State trooper, and returned to the SR22 to fly it back home.

"This isn't the way back home" PC junior said."

"Yeah I changed my mind. Let's go clubbing instead." The pair downed malt liquors and jello shots as they flailed their arms to the beat of the dance mix. PC Junior pulled the Glock out and shot down the spinning ball.

"Why did you have to do that?" 6PC said as the Outback drifted through the streets, leaving the police in the dust."

"It just seemed like the thing to do. I was trying to draw a foul."

"You did a good job then."

6PC sat over the computer terminal in a drunken stupor for several hours, typing some sort of rambling reality thread involving members of an Internet pilot message board. He had know idea what he was typing. It was stream of semi consciousness. As he passed out, he fell forward, and his nose hit the "submit" button. So ended the day.
 
Florida Cracker NM, that will take this to the SZ.

So I will just pick Sac Arrow since he is right here and I haven't sorted out Captain's night yet. Lot's to catch up on there.

Sac Arrow.

Lying in bed in the morning having never fallen asleep as he was up all night pondering what the girl at the checkout line was actually saying when she asked if he wanted the milk in a bag.

Two young Asian women lay asleep on his right side smelling of cheap perfume and brandy and one slightly heavy set woman on his left getting cranky because she was kept up all night listening to Sac ask questions like "Maybe by milk, she was referring to her breasts. I mean I did buy milk but maybe she really wanted me to do something with her boobs" and "What about the bag part? I don't need milk in a bag it has a handle. Certainly this was her way of saying she wanted me to bag her"

Sac climbs over the heavyset woman and decides to shower. There is a half naked Polynesian woman of average size asleep in the shower.

"I'll just have to shower around her he thinks"

She could be dead but at this point we the audience have no evidence to support that but it is food for thought.

After completing his shower, Sac goes to his closet to reveal a Mecca of spandex. Biker shorts as far as the eye can see.

Stepping over a lingre-clad amputee woman who has been passed out for a couple days, He reaches for the shorts that emphasize his manhood the best in his opinion.

Having gotten dressed, he walks down a hall lined with women of all shapes and sizes who all work in customer service at various drive-thrus and quick stops around the area. Most are asleep some appear to be a bit groggy only 2 of them have any clothing on, and all smell of some combination of whiskey and lube.

Seriously, they may all be dead. Sac may well be a freaking Ted Bundy and we just don't know it yet. Sac, the spandex killer pilot. For now, lets assume they are all just a passed out.

Sac, skips breakfast since the fridge is blocked by a passed out half naked black man and Sac is just not ready to face what that might have meant. He unfolds his bike and heads to the gym.

On his way, he stops at quick stop to get coffee.

"Here's your change" Says the cashier handing him some coins.

"What does she mean by that" he thought. "I bet the coins represent her genitalia and by putting it in my hand she wants... Ugh, no time for this. I will stop back on my way home"

Sac arrives a the gym and folds up his bike and puts it in his pocket.
He goes to the spin room and adjusts all the bikes to the students will be in the order he wishes to see them and also so they are all at eye level with his spandex bulge enhancers.

The 9 hour spin session ends and Sac hops into the shower alone at the gym.

Unfoldinghis bike, and calling dominoes not to order a pizza but to ask the delivery girl to meet him at "The bicycle chain", a local club in the area.

She agrees and they meet and dance and start consuming copious amounts of booze and smoking hash.

3 hours of dancing with every woman in the club and sac is ready to call it a night.

Hailing a cab, he notices a party bus full of women and the driver has stepped off to take a wiz.

This is where he makes his move.

Sac sprints over to the bus and takes the yoke (It's a flying forum)

Turns out the bus was hauling 23 women to a shooting of Tokyo's newest game show "Asia's got t!tt!es" a talent contest where people drink and look at topless women. Very similar to most clubs in Dallas.

"Screw this!" he says.
He then passes out alcohol to all of the contestants and drives the bus back to his place. The woman swoon over Sac and his rock hard abs.

Back at his apartment, some of last night's batch of women are still in various positions on the floor (It really seems like they are dead. Just sayin) Ignoring them, the crew makes its way back to "Sac's Sack" as the sign above the headboard reads and start having sex.

The whole time Sac is asking himself "I wonder what all these woman mean by having sex with me. I wonder if by having sex with me what they are really saying is they want to have more sex with me. I could be reading too much into this but It has to mean something"

Realizing he forgot to go back to the quick trip and pick up the cashier there, Sack slips into a booze induced haze and mumbles to himself.

"tomorrow"
 
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Completely forgot that the breakfast dude had cut a donut in half. You're slipping 6PC.
 
I need to go find that bus. So far I'm zero for zero today. No bike ride, and the home field is still right at ILS straight in minimums, so no taking the plane back home today.
 
Wow, this has to be one of the best POA threads ever! MORE, MORE, MORE! WANT MORE!

Somebody write chapter 3 already!

David
 
I finally figured out who Sac is in real life:
 

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SixPapaCharlie said:
Someone needs to write Up whatever the hell henning's day was yesterday.
Click to expand...
Just for Bryan....

...and anyone bored enough to still be reading.


It was a dark and stormy night......

The full moon is shrouded behind massive cumulus mountains, in the shape of aunt Fanny's fanny. Our hero, henning emerges from his coffin, looks both ways before he crosses the street, and leaps - in a single bound - over an entire Big Mac.... almost.

The ten year old child, bothering nobody, cried when she saw her only meal of the week, crushed like a pea under a steam roller's weight.

Our hero, henning, laughed at the crying child and proclaimed, "The world has far too many scurvy children. We need less mouths to feed, and more karma. Go ahead and die. The world will thank you and god (which is me, by the way, child) will feel relieved that there is one less mouth breathing our air, eating our food, and drinking precious water..."

In the light cast by an old El Dorado, wheezing down the alley, henning is seen dumpster diving, hoping to find the implements that will unlock the hydrogen multiplexer-drive-generator-water plume-nut busting-hard ginger ale...

As he heaves outlandishly heavy objects around the dumpster, henning searches with vengeance in his heart and sorrow in his loins.

"I HAD EVERYTHING!" He cries. "I AM EVERYTHING!" he shrieks. "I WAS EVERYBODY!" He whines... His tears form a river, running past the still crying child, and carrying her broken Big Mac away from her, forever.

"Hyper-metobolic-chromium enhanced- carbonic petrified-rice is the energy of the future," he keeps reminding himself an everyone within hearing distance, which consists of two dead drug addicts, an over sexed collie named Max, and Booger the Bartender, who is tied up - literally tied up, and being whipped by Ruth Buzzy and Roseann Barr.

His shrieks of pain and embarrassment, energize henning and he stomps over and rips the cat-o-seven tails out of Ruth Buzzy's hands and shouts, "Oh WHERE, Oh WHERE, is my Hairbrush?"

Recognizing the beaten, flagellated, bartender, henning suggests to Ruth and RoseAnn a bent elbow stroke, that results in better sting at the end of the whip. "Now don't go breaking my heart...." he cautions, because they could both tell by his familiarity with the implement, that he indulged, or was the recipient of one who did.

Feigning ignorance of Booger's marital aids, henning roars off to meet with his martian friends, at the Soul Saving Mission House of God, Outerspace Supper Club, Secret Agent Rendezvous and Coin Laundry, where you go to meet friends and Old Spice cologne.

Still burning midnight, instead of hydrogen, henning drinks far too little and tries kareoke, which definitely wasn't his forte. When he hit the high notes of, Bary Manilow's "At The Copa," dogs and really ugly women began to commit suicide all over the city.

"I must be Pretty and pretty special to make ugly women kill themselves," henning mused, trying to connect the dots from Barry Manilow, through old Spice, to suicide and deciding that the formula that allows time to travel at more than the speed of light, in multiple dimensions at once, and all the while eating fart inducing baloney, was the reason.

Finally out of time, darkness, and ideas, henning slinked back home, passing the still hungry, crying child, and stopping to encourage her to commit suicide rather than suffer the hunger of the ages, and help clean up the streets (alleys) of his fair city.

Finally home, he surrenders to his Aunt Fanny's fanny, who flatulates him off to sleep....
 
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Florida Cracker said:
Just for Bryan....

...and anyone bored enough to still be reading.


...........
Finally home, he surrenders to his Aunt Fanny's fanny, who flatulates him off to sleep....
Click to expand...

But..... Aunt Fanny passes natural gas... NOT Hydrogen gas....:nonod: She is NOT worthy..:no:
 
N801BH is up.....

Birds chirped and squirrels chased each other up rows of neatly planted pine trees as the cloud cover departed, allowing the rays of the sun to shine down on 1BH as he snored peacefully in his sleep. Then the sound of the diesel truck's brakes screamed to an abrupt halt as the large steel forks lowered from above the cab.

"Hey mister, get out of there! We have a job to do!"

"Arrwwwggghhhl... .Hmmph. What wha whaaaa??? This is MY hot tub! Get out of here!"

"No it isn't, the restaurant dumped a huge load of soup stock in there last night. Now get out!"

"I thought the salt balance seemed odd." He crawled out of the dumpster, toweled off with an oily tee shirt, and dressed in his jeans and sweater. Abruptly, a ringing sound pierced the alleyway. It was his cell phone.

"1BH" He said with a gruff voice.

"Yeah, Mr. Hot Tub, this is the airport manager. Just wanted to let you know we came across some guy scoping out your digs. He was wearing some sort of nomex suit with the number 24 on it. Said his name was Gordon or something. He was muttering something about an engine missing from his car."

"Oh jeez, for god's sakes. Keep him out of my hangar, okay?"

"On it."

He pulled out a small spiral bound notebook and scanned through it. No appointments today. Nothing on the schedule. Why not. He sauntered over to the bar and grill. "I'll have the steak and eggs, and a double shot of Jack please." Then a man entered the doorway, and took the stool beside him. "I'll have a peanut butter sandwich, and a shot of Jim Beam please."

"You look familiar...." 1BH said.

"Ah, everyone says that. What do you do for a living?"

"I build NASCAR engines and fly experimental airplanes, and refurbish spas."

"You don't say. Wanna race?"

"I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! YOU'RE JIMMY JOHNSON!"

"Yup."

"Game on!"

The smashing Asian chick with the fake jobs raised both of her arms, and simultaneously dropped the flags. The rumble of the massive V8 of 1BH's Subaru turned in to a throbbing powerful drone, as the small opposed six of Jimmy Johnson's Kobalt Chevrolet screamed to life. "WTF is this??" Johnson said has he let out the clutch, only to have the car lurch forward at a mild pace.

"I switched engines on you when you weren't looking. See ya, sucker!!" 1BH said as he drifted the outback all the way back to the airport.

Fearing Jeff Gordon was still snooping around the premises, he pulled the Zenith out of the hangar and fired up the engine, and did a taxi to the runup area. There were two planes ahead of him.

"Would you EVER finish your runup? You're being a jerk!" The pilot of the Piaggio said.

"Dammit I'm trying to figure out this HSI! Plus your engines are on backwards" the pilot of the SR22 said.

"Will both of you guys get out of the way! I need to get outa here!"

With that, he did a 180 on the taxiway, punched the gas, and hurtled on a takeoff roll. "Okay, who's trying to play chicken with me?" Fortunately the Zenith cleared the oncoming 777 with plenty of clearance, to the relief of first officer, who was busy with both preflight and also moderating on an aviation message board.

After a short flight, he landed at a ski resort, demonstrated some mad snowboarding skillez, smoked a reefer, and exploded fuel drums by shooting them with an assault rifle.

All in all it was a good day, because he didn't have to use his AK. He used his AK, but he didn't have to. It was all about lounging in the hot tub. After doing that last eight ball, he drifted back to sleep, wondering why the hot tub was filled with plastic bags, pizza boxes, and discarded lady's underwear.
 
N801BH said:
:redface::redface::redface:...

:devil:

Guilty as charged your honor...:(
Click to expand...

I heard about a woman that pulled up beside a car with a bumper sticker that said, Obama 2012 We DID IT!

She casually rolled down her window and said to the driver, "I am SO Glad you people are finally taking responsibility for your failure."

That's what I thought about when you accepted responsibility your Day-in-the_life-of....
 
Florida Cracker said:
I heard about a woman that pulled up beside a car with a bumper sticker that said, Obama 2012 We DID IT!

She casually rolled down her window and said to the driver, "I am SO Glad you people are finally taking responsibility for your failure."

That's what I thought about when you accepted responsibility your Day-in-the_life-of....
Click to expand...

But... I have an alibi......

Ya see, Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson both drive Chevrolets.... My motor is a Ford.... I could not have stolen Jeffs motor...:no::no::no::nonod::nonod:..:D
 
N801BH said:
But... I have an alibi......

Ya see, Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson both drive Chevrolets.... My motor is a Ford.... I could not have stolen Jeffs motor...:no::no::no::nonod::nonod:..:D
Click to expand...

You keep telling yourself that...

Over and over and over.... :yesnod:
 
Florida Cracker

The silence is destroyed in a flash as A seemingly live Lynyrd Skynyrd concert begins blaring from a clock radio that looks like this:

c403a.jpg


Yep, it's sweet home Alabama because that's the only Lynyrd Skynyrd song, with which I am familiar and you too.
FC however knows them all. There are other songs.
But not today.

It is noon and that means time to get up.

Florida cracker makes up his bed as he does everyday at around this time and leaves it ready for his next night's sleep.

cb2d2b64e8c6486506ef6e046eeff606.jpg



It is Sunday which means it's time for "Skurtch" A term he coined which comes from combining Scotch and church. But mostly church. And the Scotch is actually Jim Beam.

Church today is in the form of some old videos queued up on the Betamax player. Today's sermon is a 3 fer with Robert Tilton, Jimmy Swaggart, and Jim Baker discussing how the Iran Contra affair was actually going to be Obama's fault at a later date.

Time to point out that FC has actually done some voice over recordings on his recorded sermons replacing the evangelists words with his own. It makes him feel better but it caused him a small claims lawsuit when he recorded the sermon at a local mosque and created the video titled "Islam is the Bomb"

Getting dangerously close to SZ territory, I will not elaborate.

The sermon is over and FC heads to the shower. No shower today but he keeps a backup stash of Jim Beam in there. Beam in hand, FC heads to his Band's first live gig.

Yup. It's true He sings in a local cover band and today is the big day.
He was headlining outside the music store and lots of friends and his Mom(sister), Brother(dad), Aunt(mom), Cousin(wife), dog(Ferret) would all be in attendance.
In fact the whole Clan (get it?) were going to be there.

We were lucky enough to get a clip of him performing his encore.





After that song, FC loaded up his equipment and got into his car:


183324.jpg


He headed home.




He got home and decided it was such a nice day that he should "fly" his "plane" for a bit. He cranked it up, and made a few laps around the "Pattern"

6195.jpg






Once he "landed", he headed back to the house only to find that his son who was supposed to be studying for a welding test had actually blown it off to spend the entire day in the pool.

3.png



FC was in a rare mood today. Rather than making the boy pick a switch from the tree, he invited some lady friends over for a small fee and they enjoyed the afternoon partying by the pool.

0810st_24_z+truck_bed+truck_bed_pool.jpg



This was perfect except he found out that one of the ladies was getting medical insurance through the ACA and he had her removed by yelling obscenities and waiving a gun around and screaming something about [godwin reference]

there was an "O-Blow me" thing and a couple references to the Gestapo
some comments about liberals in general.

Honestly it was a bit of a mess but all in all a good tirade about something which he seemed passionate.

Eventually he kicked everyone out and went inside, logged into the Spin Zone and typed some ****. Loudly!

redneck_computer.jpg


Back to bed, he stumbled, satisfied, happy, ending just another day in 1985, knowing full well tomorrow would just be another today.

As it should be.
 
It was on that dark and stormy night that the spook appeared with his stellar mount. He didn't know that the 4-cycled whinney blocked the sound of my approach behind him and I captured his eerie image. Who was this clandestine figure who seemed to be out of his element?
 

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The secret became evident. The spook turned out to be some Florida Cracker who misjudged his flight plan, thereby arriving under conditions not previously encountered. Seeing that his mechanical mount was aching for action he fired GRAVELY up and proceeded to clear the area of its unusual, to him, cover.
 

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I watched as the Spook on Henry Road Hill continued his uncommon task; and when he finally sensed my presence in the floodlighted, otherwise dark, and having completed his good will endeavor, he flashed a Victory sign and suddenly disappeared into the night. I can only hope the Spook shall soon return, in view of the 18 to 24 inches of additional cover which is forecast during the next two days.
 

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Bryan YOU SUCK!

I COUNTED and there are only 21 stickers on the back of that Tacoma> My truck has 22!

So... That PROVES the whole story is a lie.

Besides. I specifically remember inviting FOUR classy broads to join me in the portable, Hiflaluten-SingleDecker-Mobile-WaterTrough-Gizmo-Thingy-MaBob, and you show only three.

So there.

However... I am told by a greater authority on them things than me, that if you hook up a small outboard motor to the All Natural-Hyflaluten-SingleDecker-Mobile-HighlyHeated-WaterTrough-Gizmo-Thingy-MaBob, you can transfer all that energy to the truck and GO FOR HOURS!

Just sayin.

You should be ASHAMED for abusing me so violently.

So THERE.
 
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Florida Cracker said:
Bryan YOU SUCK!

I COUNTED and there are only 21 stickers on the back of that Tacoma> My truck has 22!

So... That PROVES the whole story is a lie.

Besides. I specifically remember inviting FOUR classy broads to join me in the portable, Hiflaluten-SingleDecker-Mobile-WaterTrough-Gizmo-Thingy-MaBob, and you show only three.

So there.

However... I am told by a greater authority on them things than me, that if you hook up a small outboard motor to the All Natural-Hyflaluten-SingleDecker-Mobile-HighlyHeated-WaterTrough-Gizmo-Thingy-MaBob, you can transfer all that energy to the truck and GO FOR HOURS!

Just sayin.

You should be ASHAMED for abusing me so violently.

So THERE.
Click to expand...

ROFLMAO!!!
 
I apologize.
I'll be at your next gig. I will bring you a case of Schlitz.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
I apologize.
I'll be at your next gig. I will bring you a case of Schlitz.
Click to expand...

Oh, and I forgot.

NONE of those bathing beauties was my sister, or pregnant, as far as I know.
When you live in god's country part of America, you never really know.


And


You forgot the red neck national anthem, that played on that very expensive, highly technical, cutting edge, sound making machine;

'I Got A Red Neck White Socks and Blue Ribbon Beer"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N3iVHxP8FQ
 
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bump.

Really looking forward to a day in the life of captain
 
flhrci said:
And a Day In The Life Of Geico also.

David
Click to expand...

Yup. I'm balls deep in CFRs and not feeling all that creative.
But I love reading people's fiction on here. Really creative stuff.
 
How about a day in the life of Captain AND Geico?

One scenario:

What do you want to do today?
I dunno, what do you want to do?
I dunno.
...
That guy was a jerk wasn't he?
Yeah.
...
Well, see you tomorrow.
Yeah, I guess.
 
Matthew said:
How about a day in the life of Captain AND Geico?
Click to expand...


"A tale of unrequited love..." - New York Times

"The unequaled beauty of love combined with the best literary example of a fishing trip ever written..." - Outdoor Magazine

"A disgusting tale of two mother*******." - Bill Maher
 
denverpilot said:
"A tale of unrequited love..." - New York Times

"The unequaled beauty of love combined with the best literary example of a fishing trip ever written..." - Outdoor Magazine

"A disgusting tale of two mother*******." - Bill Maher
Click to expand...

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
 
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