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Hello all, this question may be best directed to Dr. Bruce, but I figured I'd post it here and contact him afterwards.
I'm a relatively young (19 years old) man with aviation aspirations. I graduated from High School and made the trek to college, only to find that the university where I landed was far-from ideal. The culture, the people, and the school itself... I just didn't gel well, nor did I enjoy the atmosphere. With that in mind, I decided to take some time off and reevaluate my options, with the intent of attending another college soon thereafter. I left after my first semester, after earning 12 credits.
While taking this time off I discovered aviation and the world of flight. Ever since I've been enthralled by all-things aviation. The setting and atmosphere, the procedures, the learning process... I've found all of it incredibly fascinating, and more importantly, incredibly fulfilling and enriching. With this in mind I've (tentatively) decided to pursue a career in flight while earning my bachelor's degree on the side.
But I digress. This thread isn't about my aspirations, nor is it about my personal journey -- rather, I wanted to address an issue standing in my way.
Smack-dab in the middle of February of this year (2014)... the 14th or 15th, I believe, I made a not-so-smart decision. While home alone with two friends I tried a combination of illicit drugs. I tried a small dosage of Vyvanse, an amphetamine used to treat ADHD. I also smoked a bit of marijuana and drank a single beer. I was fine at the time -- no significant, immediate adverse reaction. By all means it was a fun night, and in this sense the drugs did what they were supposed to. There was no encounter with law enforcement, and all of the consumption occurred in the privacy of my home.
Unfortunately I had what I'd consider a rather sensitive reaction to the Vyvanse. I took a small dosage, only 20mg or 30mg, I believe, which is the prescribed starting dosage. However I was up for many hours, and didn't fall asleep until 25 hours after taking the Vyvanse. In hindsight, these were stupid decisions, I understand that, but I was (and still am) 19 years old, and 19 year-olds make dumb decisions. I'm a human, I'm no different.
What happened as a result of this, though (and this is where the issues with aviation begin), is that due to these decisions, I fell into a rather severe depression. Let me preface this part of the story with some background information...
I have had VERY mild OCD for the majority of my teen years. I have seen a counselor, but the issue has been annoying at the worst and has never impacted my ability to function as any other normal human being. AFAIC, this is a total non-issue. In fact, I'd argue that my mild obsessive habits would be a benefit to me in the cockpit of a plane, as I'd be double-checking everything!
Back to the story... while I have had mild OCD for awhile, I had never in my life battled depression (prior to this incident). To put it bluntly, it was as if my body went into a state of shock and began to shutdown. I could not eat or feel any kind of pleasure for 2.5 days. I was freezing cold, and no combination of garments could warm me. While I never contemplated suicide, this was a conscious thought process of, "if I'm going to feel this way, I do not want to exist". It's somewhat difficult to explain to someone who hasn't experienced depressive symptoms, but it is utterly one of the worst feelings in the world. It wasn't strictly a mental depression, it was entirely physical. I still attribute this to the Vyvanse, and perhaps the Vyvanse in combination with the other drugs I tried that night (marijuana and alcohol). As a result of this depressed mood, I began to experience panic attacks.
Due to my condition at that time I had no choice but to see a doctor. I saw my counselor and we discussed the situation, and she then referred me to my regular doctor (I'm sure there's a more precise term than "regular doctor" but it's slipping my mind at the moment). I explained what I was going through and I was prescribed Xanax to help manage the panic attacks, and upon seeing another doctor, I was prescribed an SSRI to help kick the depression.
I wanted nothing to do with the Xanax and the SSRI. I didn't take them and within 2-3 days of the onset of the depression, I began to improve. The depressed mood only lasted 2-3 days, but I can say with 100% confidence that those were the worst few days of my life. Since then I have bounced back and have been living an incredibly happy life since. It was clearly an acute episode.
So... where does this leave me? I'm not an active user of any illicit drugs and expect to pass every potential drug test I take during the process of becoming a pilot. Moreover, I plan to be entirely honest with every medical examiner I see. I'm not going to hide this experience as that will simply cause me more stress and anxiety down the road.
I'm not taking any prescription medications at this time, and the only one I took in the past was Singulair, a basic allergy medication. I have an entirely clean legal track record and plan on keeping it that way, and I tend to think my academic and intangible resume tends to shine a fairly positive light on me. With the exception of the aforementioned incident I have a nice-looking resume. I also don't expect to have any issue(s) getting psychological/psychiatric clearance from the powers-that-be, either in my personal life and/or from the various examiners associated with the FAA. I view myself as a fairly bright guy with a rational, level-head on his shoulders who made a very dumb decision one night. I don't mean to come off as arrogant here, so I apologize if I have.
How will this impact my ability to receive a medical certificate, and perhaps more importantly, how will this impact my ability to gain employment with an airline, should I find myself in that situation a number of years down the road?
Again, no lies will be told. I will be entirely forthcoming on any/all medical documents and during any/all interviews with medical examiners. I'm not in the business of lying or being dishonest. With that said there's obvious concern over how disclosing this information will affect me. How concerned should I be? Is it the type of situation where, by virtue of the aforementioned incident, I should simply be pursuing a different career at this stage in my life and ditching all things aviation? Has the bridge already been burned?
Thank you all so much in advance for your responses. I was young and dumb, and I'm still young, but I hope (and truly think/feel) that the above experience has helped me to grow and develop into a more mature, responsible, intelligent individual. I simply hope that being young and dumb one night didn't cost me my dream career.
I'm a relatively young (19 years old) man with aviation aspirations. I graduated from High School and made the trek to college, only to find that the university where I landed was far-from ideal. The culture, the people, and the school itself... I just didn't gel well, nor did I enjoy the atmosphere. With that in mind, I decided to take some time off and reevaluate my options, with the intent of attending another college soon thereafter. I left after my first semester, after earning 12 credits.
While taking this time off I discovered aviation and the world of flight. Ever since I've been enthralled by all-things aviation. The setting and atmosphere, the procedures, the learning process... I've found all of it incredibly fascinating, and more importantly, incredibly fulfilling and enriching. With this in mind I've (tentatively) decided to pursue a career in flight while earning my bachelor's degree on the side.
But I digress. This thread isn't about my aspirations, nor is it about my personal journey -- rather, I wanted to address an issue standing in my way.
Smack-dab in the middle of February of this year (2014)... the 14th or 15th, I believe, I made a not-so-smart decision. While home alone with two friends I tried a combination of illicit drugs. I tried a small dosage of Vyvanse, an amphetamine used to treat ADHD. I also smoked a bit of marijuana and drank a single beer. I was fine at the time -- no significant, immediate adverse reaction. By all means it was a fun night, and in this sense the drugs did what they were supposed to. There was no encounter with law enforcement, and all of the consumption occurred in the privacy of my home.
Unfortunately I had what I'd consider a rather sensitive reaction to the Vyvanse. I took a small dosage, only 20mg or 30mg, I believe, which is the prescribed starting dosage. However I was up for many hours, and didn't fall asleep until 25 hours after taking the Vyvanse. In hindsight, these were stupid decisions, I understand that, but I was (and still am) 19 years old, and 19 year-olds make dumb decisions. I'm a human, I'm no different.
What happened as a result of this, though (and this is where the issues with aviation begin), is that due to these decisions, I fell into a rather severe depression. Let me preface this part of the story with some background information...
I have had VERY mild OCD for the majority of my teen years. I have seen a counselor, but the issue has been annoying at the worst and has never impacted my ability to function as any other normal human being. AFAIC, this is a total non-issue. In fact, I'd argue that my mild obsessive habits would be a benefit to me in the cockpit of a plane, as I'd be double-checking everything!
Back to the story... while I have had mild OCD for awhile, I had never in my life battled depression (prior to this incident). To put it bluntly, it was as if my body went into a state of shock and began to shutdown. I could not eat or feel any kind of pleasure for 2.5 days. I was freezing cold, and no combination of garments could warm me. While I never contemplated suicide, this was a conscious thought process of, "if I'm going to feel this way, I do not want to exist". It's somewhat difficult to explain to someone who hasn't experienced depressive symptoms, but it is utterly one of the worst feelings in the world. It wasn't strictly a mental depression, it was entirely physical. I still attribute this to the Vyvanse, and perhaps the Vyvanse in combination with the other drugs I tried that night (marijuana and alcohol). As a result of this depressed mood, I began to experience panic attacks.
Due to my condition at that time I had no choice but to see a doctor. I saw my counselor and we discussed the situation, and she then referred me to my regular doctor (I'm sure there's a more precise term than "regular doctor" but it's slipping my mind at the moment). I explained what I was going through and I was prescribed Xanax to help manage the panic attacks, and upon seeing another doctor, I was prescribed an SSRI to help kick the depression.
I wanted nothing to do with the Xanax and the SSRI. I didn't take them and within 2-3 days of the onset of the depression, I began to improve. The depressed mood only lasted 2-3 days, but I can say with 100% confidence that those were the worst few days of my life. Since then I have bounced back and have been living an incredibly happy life since. It was clearly an acute episode.
So... where does this leave me? I'm not an active user of any illicit drugs and expect to pass every potential drug test I take during the process of becoming a pilot. Moreover, I plan to be entirely honest with every medical examiner I see. I'm not going to hide this experience as that will simply cause me more stress and anxiety down the road.
I'm not taking any prescription medications at this time, and the only one I took in the past was Singulair, a basic allergy medication. I have an entirely clean legal track record and plan on keeping it that way, and I tend to think my academic and intangible resume tends to shine a fairly positive light on me. With the exception of the aforementioned incident I have a nice-looking resume. I also don't expect to have any issue(s) getting psychological/psychiatric clearance from the powers-that-be, either in my personal life and/or from the various examiners associated with the FAA. I view myself as a fairly bright guy with a rational, level-head on his shoulders who made a very dumb decision one night. I don't mean to come off as arrogant here, so I apologize if I have.
How will this impact my ability to receive a medical certificate, and perhaps more importantly, how will this impact my ability to gain employment with an airline, should I find myself in that situation a number of years down the road?
Again, no lies will be told. I will be entirely forthcoming on any/all medical documents and during any/all interviews with medical examiners. I'm not in the business of lying or being dishonest. With that said there's obvious concern over how disclosing this information will affect me. How concerned should I be? Is it the type of situation where, by virtue of the aforementioned incident, I should simply be pursuing a different career at this stage in my life and ditching all things aviation? Has the bridge already been burned?
Thank you all so much in advance for your responses. I was young and dumb, and I'm still young, but I hope (and truly think/feel) that the above experience has helped me to grow and develop into a more mature, responsible, intelligent individual. I simply hope that being young and dumb one night didn't cost me my dream career.
