Why am I Married? NA Humor

Frank Browne

Final Approach
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You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."


When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.


A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished


A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."


A young son asked,
"Is it true dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.



If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.


First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

"A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death "
 
Frank Browne said:
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were dead.

Who says you have to be miserable? You can buy more fun toys, do what you want when you want, pack your stuff and move 3500 miles tomorrow morning without an argument. Besides, from the general discussions I've heard it's probably a lot cheaper in the long run.

dating, motorcycle, dating, motorcycle, motorcycle.... CB650
marriage, airplane, marriage, airplane, airplane... not quite there yet but it's going to have wings, and engine, a propeller and flies...

As for being wishing to be dead, I can buy $1K of tools, $500 helmet, $400 crash jacket, $75 gloves and don't have to wear the crash gear when I step in the door when I get home.


Marriage is a great institution...if one requires institutionalizing.
 
Joe Williams said:
Why do married men die first?
Because they want to!! :rofl:

No no, married men live longer, statistics show it or at least it seems that way

Joe
 
fgcason said:
As for being wishing to be dead, I can buy $1K of tools, $500 helmet, $400 crash jacket, $75 gloves and don't have to wear the crash gear when I step in the door when I get home.
So can I. You just have to find the right woman. :D

I won't go into details on how much I've got tied into it but between my shop and my photography gear, I could have a VERY nice plane right now....and my wife encouraged or bought each piece. Plus she got me the flight lessons for my PPL...plus she's making noises about a plane as a graduation gift for my current degree work.

I'll take the married life. I've got it good. :D
 
"Dear God, when I die, please don't let my wife sell my toys for what I told her I paid for them!" :rofl:
 
Frank Browne said:
You have two choices in life:

Only two? Hmmm.

I'm not taking sides on this one. I was just thinking of Shakespeare's Benedick, (who was tricked by his buddies into believing Beatrice liked him) and throw in his words just to show that the argument has raged for centuries:

"...I have railed so long against marriage; but does not the appetite alter? A man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age...(contemplates the teasing he is in for)...THE WORLD MUST BE PEOPLED. When I said I would die a bachelor I did not think I should live till I were married." :D
 
p8cleared2land said:
Only two? Hmmm.

I'm not taking sides on this one. I was just thinking of Shakespeare's Benedick, (who was tricked by his buddies into believing Beatrice liked him) and throw in his words just to show that the argument has raged for centuries:

"...I have railed so long against marriage; but does not the appetite alter? A man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age...(contemplates the teasing he is in for)...THE WORLD MUST BE PEOPLED. When I said I would die a bachelor I did not think I should live till I were married." :D
Indeed. Enjoy the worst of both worlds; one, and then the other ;)
 
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Frank,

you just have to find the right woman. Pete came home with a new motorcycle once.....not a problem, it just cost him another motorcycle. for me.

And he can buy all the toys he wants. He just bought new Garmin for the motorcycle. He says its important we have XM weather when we go back to MN next month........-sigh-........

And when he goes out and buys that $500 helmet, he has one for me, too.

Oh yeah, and I just bought him a pair of Aerostitch Darien pants.
 
Frank Browne said:
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished
It's always better to be a work in progress. ;)
 
gkainz said:
"Dear God, when I die, please don't let my wife sell my toys for what I told her I paid for them!" :rofl:

Dear God, when he dies, please let his wife sell his toys for what she thinks he paid for them so I can buy cool toys for a reasonable price for a change. :D
 
It all about finding the right person and not ceding your independence. My husband and I are very independent from each other--we are together because we choose to be together, not because we feel we should or have to be with someone. Both of us were pretty darn happy being single.

I loved my first husband, too, but he was too dependent on me, and I bought into the idea that I was somehow responsible for his happiness. We tried for a long time, but it wore me out.

Oh, and separate back accounts help, too. Our finances are pretty transparent to each other (I'd be ****ed if he were getting into debt that I would, in fact, be responsible for by virtue of being married to him), but other than that, he spends his money on what he wants and I spend my money on what I want, and we both chip in to the household. It works for us.

Judy
 
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