Went up again this evening. . . did something different.

C

CowboyPilot

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Took CJ, the instructor, up with me late this afternoon. Took the Cardinal and headed up to Gainesville (KGLE) which is on I-35. Grabbed a crew car and headed into town for a bite to eat. Got back to the airport at sunset, just dark enough for the runway lights to have come on.

Strapped in, fired up and took off.

CJ's idea was to fly from Gainesville south along I-35 to Denton (KDTO) and do several landings. Then took off and went from Denton to Fort Worth Alliance (KAFW), made a landing, then to Meacham (KFTW), made a landing, then to Spinks (KFWS), made a landing, then flew over Cleburne and then on to the home field.

Everything was over a major road (I-35, for the majority), everything was over terrain I know very well, everything was with tower personnel whose voices I'm familiar with once we got to Alliance and beyond.

There were several areas of definite uncomfortableness. Anytime I got away from the city lights and couldn't see good indications of terrain makeup/features, the sweats came on. Once I had the beacon in sight and especially the runway, I settled down quite well.

CJ wanted to take the Cardinal because it's a complex airplane, it's fast and I'm the most comfortable in it over the others. His idea was that I'd have to spend time doing the "mechanical" pilot things like fiddling with MP, prop, mixture, and trim (lots of trim fiddling in a CardinalRG), and then do a very thorough GUMPS check on each downwind or long-final.

In other words, keep my mind busy doing those "automatic" things and monitoring my checklists rather than musing over what was below. And it was damned dark tonight, so if it wasn't lit up, you couldn't see what was below.

On the return trip of some 85 - 100 nm from Gainesville, I logged eight night landings. All were very good landings except for the last one at the home field. I was tired, it's an uncontrolled field (good runway lights, thought), but not a lot of "city" lighting around it. It just kind of appears.

It was the controlled descent down into the darkness that almost had me shaking. Hard to see a horizon tonight, but I've got superb instrumentation and panel lighting in that airplane and one helluva pilot in the right seat. No leans, no spacial disorientation. . . just that freaking descent into a dark hole with runway lights nearby.

Sitting in the hangar with the wives and going over the night, I thought it pretty smart of the guy to insist on taking the complex/HP bird up--kept me a lot busier than the Skyhawk does. It also let a lot of the "automatic reaction" stuff take over that you get through sheer repetition from having done stuff over and over and over.

I'm still planning on looking up a few pilots who had to bail out and ask them what they did to get back in the game. I reckon stories and ideas and techniques are gonna vary, but I'll listen to 'em all.

It's not as bad having someone in the right seat with me. It was the other night, in the Skyhawk, solo, that just about had me in bad shape.

Dunno. We'll see what happens.

Regards.

-JD
 
keep on working on it JD, you'll get it back. Seeking advice from others who have been there is a good idea, IMO.
 
I admire your courage, and I admire CJ's insight into ways to give you lots of night experience without overloading you. You guys are doing a great job.

The whole point is to break the negative association that has very correctly been established in your brain between descending into blackness and bad things happening. If you do it many times and nothing bad happens, the association is weakened. However, the association is self sustaining in that if you push too far, then you have a bad experience (the sweating and shaking), so you reinforce the negative association. The point is too push far enough, but not too far. It sounds like you guys were doing a good job of that. Just don't get greedy. It'll take time. Being stubborn and pushing again and again no matter what will just make things worse. If you're smart about it, though, you can lick it.

Chris
 
Good on ya, JD for keeping it up. You're gonna beat it.
 
The whole point is to break the negative association that has very correctly been established in your brain between descending into blackness and bad things happening.

Chris

I honestly don't think that "breaking the negative association" is ever going to happen. It's always going to be there.

Very early on in my initial flight training, I inadvertently stalled a Luscombe, didn't correct for it quickly enough or with correct technique and found myself in a spin.

It scared the living hell out of me and to this day, and numerous spins later, I am still scared of spins. BUT. . . I know they are easily survivable, that proper technique will get you out of a spin, and most important of all. . . how to avoid finding myself in such a predicament.

I had not done all that much night flying before the incident, and practically none since. So what I'm trying to do, at least in my own mind, is educate and train myself to the significant visual differences at night.

We're going to take the Skyhawk up this evening at sunset and do some grass-field work at a large airport. Won't be landing at "night proper," but it will still be dark enough that I'll need my landing lights and that there will not be great visibility on the runway. There's a lit runway next to the grass field, so that will be my "safety valve." If the pucker factor gets too extreme, I'll power up and re-enter the pattern for the lit runway.

My instructor friend says we might end up just doing some approaches, then some slow flight over the grass field and if I'm up to, then go ahead and land.

Oddly enough, takeoffs are not a problem and never have been. It's the controlled descent "into darkness" that's giving me the shakes.

Regards.

-JD
 
I thought it pretty smart of the guy to insist on taking the complex/HP bird up--kept me a lot busier than the Skyhawk does. It also let a lot of the "automatic reaction" stuff take over that you get through sheer repetition from having done stuff over and over and over.

I'm still planning on looking up a few pilots who had to bail out and ask them what they did to get back in the game. I reckon stories and ideas and techniques are gonna vary, but I'll listen to 'em all.


Mr, JD,

Wow! Now that is what I call taking the bull by the horns AND using your head.

I'm just a lowly civilian glider pilot. Sure, I survied a helo crash but I didn't catch ON FIRE so my experience and subsequent opinion and analysis has little real value in regards to your experience.

That said, it's clear to me from your posts here on this thread that not only are you well on your way to beating the crap out of this problem you will be the MAN TO GO TO for everyone down the road who strives to recover from a hidious aviation trauma.

I hope I have the good fortune to shake your hand some day.

MM
 
JD sometimes beating the anxiety dosent mean making it go away it just means dealing with it. How was the moon tonight JD couldn't tell here kinda cloudy
 
'Bout a third of a moon out tonight. (Same area)
 
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