Toilet talk [rant]

Discussion in 'Hangar Talk' started by Sac Arrow, Mar 4, 2020.

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Toilet breaks

  1. Call a plumber

    7.7%
  2. Just fix the part that is broke

    64.1%
  3. Buy a new toilet

    10.3%
  4. Invest in a backyard porta potty

    2.6%
  5. Do a major rehaul of the old toilet's parts

    17.9%
  6. Quit eating and drinking

    2.6%
  7. Sell the house and move

    10.3%
  8. Let the property/apartment manager deal with it

    2.6%
  9. Let the hotel clerk know about it

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  10. Let the guard on your cell block know about it

    5.1%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Bro do you even lift
    ... and lessons learned. Yes, this is a rant. Oh wait, I mentioned that in the title.

    1. Get up in the morning. Go to the gym. Have coffee and sports drink in the supermarket cafe next door. For some reason, coffee and sports drink makes bowels very angry. It is a good thing I know the bathroom security code by memory. But that's not what this is about.

    2. It's only a five minute drive home but I'm already in crisis mode. I make it in time, and then... the chain falls off the flush lever. Again. It falls off the flush lever because the flush lever was made out of steel. Plain steel. The final rough edge where I could wedge the chain attachment corroded away and there is really no rigging it without machine work, plus the rest of the tank internals are mostly shot, so, I decide to get new set of flush and fill valves.

    3. The OSH literally within walking distance has been closed for over a year. I wouldn't literally walk over there to buy plumbing hardware and carry it back, but it's a whale of a lot more convenient than the Home Depot a few miles away. I don't know why I say whale. I don't really like whales. I mean I don't dislike whales either, I'm just kind of... neutral on them. They probably make poor house pets. It's probably good that I was forced to go to Home Depot because in theory I will have a better selection than OSH, but really that is only the case if I were to buy a new toilet, because I don't think OSH actually sold toilets. I don't remember. I really should get a new one. The present one is difficult to flush and prone to clogging. But I'm cheap plus I really don't want to have to deal with opening up that sewer connection and the wax rings and all that stuff. In retrospect....

    4. Okay it's a mess. The corroded iron inside the bowl is stuck to the bottom, and the deteriorating gaskets have mostly turned to goo. I finally get the tank off, and now to remove the flush valve. Fuuuuuuu. They put this enormous hex nut on it that no sane wrench or pliers can handle. My pipe wrench isn't even big enough for it. The strap wrench isn't working. I try an oil filter wrench, and get it to turn, but not loosen. The nut is frozen on the flush valve. The final solution? A hack saw to saw the nut in two. For some reason the word hack saw reminds me of cole slaw, and cole slaw always works. So, that was the solution.

    5. This isn't rocket science. The new unit is not much like the old unit with a ball float with lever. The float is concentric with the fill valve. More modern. That's fine. I do the recommended trimming of the overflow tube, but... I'm perplexed at why the diagram for the fill valve seems to imply the small hose at the top should be routed over and pointing down the overflow tube via an attachment that doesn't seem to resemble anything in the diagram. I was initially confused because the small block like thing attached to the hose appeared to fit inside the overflow tube, and that may have been its functionality, but it didn't appear in the diagram. On closer inspection, I found the little bracket that clamps to the overflow tube, and went ahead and set it up per the diagram.

    6. Everything is installed, inspected, and the supply hose is hooked back up. Time to test it out. The last time I had to replace the supply line, it was because the supply line was integral with the shutoff valve, and it broke, so I had to dewater the entire house to install another valve with this time a separate supply hose. I turn the water on, and water sprays everywhere like a bad crisis in a submarine movie. I narrow the source of the leak to the supply line attachment to the fill valve. I had recalled it being a hand tight connection. I progressively tightened it with pliers until the leak stopped. All good, right?

    7. Wrong. Four PM rolls around, I'm about to enjoy an afternoon shot of happy water, and I notice water on the floor under the toilet. Not a lot of water, just a small pool. I wipe it up, examine everything, and chalk it up to residual water from the torpedo damage draining off the bowl under the tank. But, apparently the torpedo did more damage to the hull than I initially assessed, and a half an hour later, there was another small pool of water. It was again the supply line connection to the fill valve. I tighten it more. The leak got worse. I swear in multiple languages. Shweindhund. Shweinhund means pig dog and is not vulgar. I would write down vulgarities but I don't know if cussing in foreign languages violates the ROC. It generally doesn't in most places. Maybe we can get some clarification on that. I examine the packing gland in the supply hose, and decide that it had conformed itself to the previous fill valve connection, which prevented it from completely conforming to the new connection. Ah, but there was a spare braided line in the garage. Of course the fitting had to be wrong.

    8. Another trip to the big box store. Haha I said big box. I discovered that there were two size option for the shutoff valve side, and several permutations for the fill valve side. Hmm. Do we risk it, and buy the one we -think- is correct, or do we.... No need to. Whew. I had the wherewithal to bring the old one with me so I could match it up. I was about to give up hope. I needed the smaller isolation valve connection with the smaller hand tight fitting. I didn't find one. I found every other one plus an empty rack. I was about to give up hope, when I noticed a braided line partially hidden in the recess under the shelf. That was the right one. Like... yay.

    9. It all works now. Well, define work. The parts inside are doing what they are doing correctly. It still takes a lot of water to flush and the clogging tendency hasn't really improved that I could tell. If the bowl was able to maintain ten psi of hydraulic head, that would help a lot. But that would require the bowl to be 23 feet deep. You would actually have to use it from the second story, and you would still need a step ladder to sit on it. And since I have a single story house, that would be... awkward. Especially when the neighbors are out and about.

    10. Bottom line. Yes, this is for those tl;dr people. BUY A NEW SUPPLY HOSE WITH THE INTERNAL REPAIR KIT. Yes I am screaming. Okay I am done screaming.
     
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  2. RyanB

    RyanB Administrator Management Council Member PoA Supporter

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    Channeling your inner @denverpilot I see... ;)

    Sounds like that commode was well past TBO.
     
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  3. Fallsrider

    Fallsrider Line Up and Wait

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    I've had days like that, when a simple repair turns into a multiple-hours ordeal.
     
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  4. flhrci

    flhrci Final Approach

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    I actually cracked my Mom's toilet trying to fix a leak. 2 days later, the plumber was putting in a new one because Lowe's and Home Depot did not sell the old "rough-in" size. NEVER AGAIN!
     
  5. jsstevens

    jsstevens Final Approach PoA Supporter

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    9 made me laugh out loud.

    This is the Sac Arrow ranting I remember from his heyday. I'd give it 5 stars.
     
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  6. Zeldman

    Zeldman Touchdown! Greaser!

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    I detest low flow toilets....

    Detest is the nicest word I felt I could use in public and still get my point across.

    How can anyone think using 5 flushes saves more water than my old toilet that only takes one flush.??

    Low flow toilets are only good for putting outside and planting flowers in it.
     
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  7. Kenny Phillips

    Kenny Phillips En-Route

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    Temporary Bowel Obstruction?
     
  8. Kenny Phillips

    Kenny Phillips En-Route

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    The right design will work, regardless of what you had for dinner the night before.
     
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  9. SoonerAviator

    SoonerAviator Final Approach

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    Plumbing standards are some of the most frustrating thing out there. So many connection style and thread/pitch types. Is this a compression fitting? flare? Brittish standard? NPT? Pex? Ah screw it, I'll call a plumber, lol.
     
  10. eman1200

    eman1200 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    WTF'nLDR. is this another one of those 'the toilet water spins the opposite direction down under' threads?
     
  11. cgrab

    cgrab Pattern Altitude

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    I'll add my rant...in a public men's room without a urinal...LEAVE THE SEAT UP.
     
  12. JB1842

    JB1842 En-Route

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    That's not too bad. The best is when you go to replace the toilet, and find out the wood is all rotted out underneath. Easy fix, actually, but still makes your stomach drop at first sight.
     
  13. chartbundle

    chartbundle Pattern Altitude

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    Just under the toilet? That sounds wonderful.

    My house bathroom apparently had a leak at some point and they fixed the leak but did almost no other repairs. I sistered several joists and studs, new sill and sole plates in a couple places and an entirely new subfloor for the bathroom... But it looks real nice now, or will once I finish putting walls back in, and a floor, and fixtures.

    moo7.jpg
     
  14. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

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    This is another example of how the law of plumbing still works - no matter how simple the job, if there is any plumbing involved it will require at least one more trip to the hardware store.
     
  15. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

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    My neighbor found out he had termites when he was sitting on the throne...and then it tipped to one side.
     
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  16. Zeldman

    Zeldman Touchdown! Greaser!

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    I live in New Mexico....what could I possibly eat the night before that would cause problems.?? :lol:
     
  17. denverpilot

    denverpilot Tied Down PoA Supporter

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    Truly. I hate plumbing. I’ll happily fix anything else in the house.
     
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  18. JB1842

    JB1842 En-Route

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    Yeah. That sounds awful.
     
  19. FormerHangie

    FormerHangie En-Route

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    Yeah, if you're struggling to get parts that fit, it's usually time to replace.

    We replaced our OE potties with some Kohler units about five years ago. The original ones were 1.6 gallons per flush, and they worked OK. The new ones are 1 gallon per flush, and are much more effective at emptying the bowl. They also have this nice feature in that if things are particularly messy, you just hold the handle down until the bowl has emptied, and it keeps flushing until you release the handle. Kind of the toilet equivalent of half sheet paper towels, you use what you need.

    Yeppers, there are good designs out there, and they're not even that expensive. They're not the cheapest either.
     
  20. Crashnburn

    Crashnburn Cleared for Takeoff

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    Then, I I lucked out. My wife’s uncle is elderly and has dementia. He lives beyond the middle of nowhere. One of his toilets stopped flushing and it looked like the remains of the last ‘job’ was still in it. My wife and MIL said the float arm was broken, but the guy at Ace said it would be just as easy to replace the entire mechanism, so I got that.

    It was as good I did, because the float valve arm was rusted solid and I broke it so I could get the old parts out. The new assembly went in easily, and the water supply line matched up, so one trip to Ace, and done.
     
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2020
  21. IK04

    IK04 Pattern Altitude

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    I recently changed a complete toilet in 15 minutes. Out of the box and bolted down with a fresh seal. Done.

    Best sixty bucks a man can spend. I did get a new flex line for the feed hose, though.

    I have fixed all those space age plastic toilet filler devices for the last time.

    Pro tip: Get a new seat while you are at it.
     
  22. Skip Miller

    Skip Miller Final Approach

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    I do hope the man who invented the flexible, reinforced supply line connection for toilets, sinks, etc. has made a fortune! I severely disliked fiddling with the metal tubes....

    -Skip
     
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  23. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Ace is actually a good idea vs the box stores for projects like this. At Ace you'll have someone there letting you know that, "Hey, you'll be needing one of these, too, in this size."
     
  24. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    My nightmare scenario would be if the cast iron mount the toilet bolts in to breaks or rusts out. That would mean busting out concrete and excavating to repair.
     
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  25. PaulS

    PaulS Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Some folks should just pay to get things fixed. Some things should not be fixed.
     
  26. Zeldman

    Zeldman Touchdown! Greaser!

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    I live on a well so holding the handle down won't cost me any money. But we are going to be selling the house, so that will really solve the problem..:lol::lol:
     
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  27. wsuffa

    wsuffa Touchdown! Greaser!

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    All to enjoy the go.
     
  28. Htaylor

    Htaylor Pre-takeoff checklist

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    Just get a Ferguson and be done with it. "BA-WOOSH. That's a man's flush. Sit down and give me your best shot".
     
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  29. denverpilot

    denverpilot Tied Down PoA Supporter

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    And some folks should get fixed. LOL. :)
     
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  30. pmanton

    pmanton Pattern Altitude

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    Anyone who can afford to fly, can afford to call a plumber and say, "Come install a new toilet for me pronto !"

    S--t Happens :p
     
  31. JB1842

    JB1842 En-Route

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    My new house is built on a slab. We have one toilet on the main floor. The thought of any plumbing needing fixed has already made me grumpy.
     
  32. Zeldman

    Zeldman Touchdown! Greaser!

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    [​IMG]
     
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  33. SixPapaCharlie

    SixPapaCharlie May the force be with you

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    you left off: "Try to fix it yourself but make the problem then call in a professional and pay twice the price because you made it worse."
     
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  34. IK04

    IK04 Pattern Altitude

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    [Manly grunt...]
     
  35. FormerHangie

    FormerHangie En-Route

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    No, it's to get the s**t out of your house.
     
  36. Crashnburn

    Crashnburn Cleared for Takeoff

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    You asked for it. I heard the local police department was robbed of all their toilets. The police are baffled because they have nothing to go on.
     
  37. dreyna14

    dreyna14 Pre-takeoff checklist

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    You can't do ANY plumbing job without multiple trips to the store for some fitting, adapter, or hose that you were sure you either had tor didn't need.
     
  38. Zeldman

    Zeldman Touchdown! Greaser!

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    [​IMG]