Student pilot applying for a scholarship here, some advice please?

WaffleOS

Filing Flight Plan
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Casey C.
Hey everyone, I'm a student pilot at the moment who is applying for a flight training scholarship. Could you guys please take a look at my response to one of the questions that they asked to make sure it makes sense in the eyes of a fellow pilot and give any advice regarding what they might be looking for when reading these? Thanks!

Question: Why are you interested in aviation?

As much as I would love to say that aviation has long been a fixation of mine, unfortunately I cannot without being dishonest. It is true that as far as my passions are concerned, aviation is one of the newer ones. I discovered aviation a mere two years ago, due to what is best described as an impulse decision made by my father. Once a private pilot himself, he signed me up for an introductory flight lesson. Previously, I had very little interest in aviation. In fact, when on the ground, I was quite apprehensive about the flight itself. I was practically trembling as my wobbly legs worked the rudder pedals, timidly taxiing across the airport that I would come to know and love for the first time. But once I was in the air, I was overcome with awe. I watched the known world shrink to obscurity beneath me as I entered a vast new one. I felt a feeling that only pilots can experience, that same feeling that generations of pilots must have become enamored with. A feeling of peaceful exhilaration, the strangest blend of adrenaline filled relaxation, a feeling only known by those who fly. And right then, I knew that for the rest of my life I never wanted to stop experiencing that feeling. Essentially, I am interested in aviation because it is a part of me. I will never cease to love it, and I will always wish to be a part of it. No matter where my life may lead, of one thing I am certain; I will never stop yearning for the sky.
 
Just be honest. We have no suggestions on what to say that might sway them if it isn't the truth.
 
Too dramatic. Just write about it like you'd tell someone about it.
 
The last sentence works without the rest of it. All depends on what the judges want, but you can't tell.

I suspect all answers received will be some variant of your last sentence.

It's about as useful as "Why do you want to work here?" in interviews. The real reason everyone avoids saying is, "Because it's better than being broke."
 
I agree with the above comments. Sounds a bit too dramatic and thought out. I feel like it would be more attractive to the judges, if it didn't seem like you were trying so hard IMHO.
 
Response should be short and sweet. Something like

Flying is ****ing awesome
Too wordy. Get to the point quicker.
I agree with the above comments. Sounds a bit too dramatic and thought out. I feel like it would be more attractive to the judges, if it didn't seem like you were trying so hard IMHO.
The last sentence works without the rest of it. All depends on what the judges want, but you can't tell.

I suspect all answers received will be some variant of your last sentence.

It's about as useful as "Why do you want to work here?" in interviews. The real reason everyone avoids saying is, "Because it's better than being broke."
Too dramatic. Just write about it like you'd tell someone about it.
Just be honest. We have no suggestions on what to say that might sway them if it isn't the truth.
Seems a bit dramatic, but it makes sense and answers the question.

hows this? I cut it down quite a bit

I have been hooked on aviation since my first experience in a small aircraft. It was just a short introductory flight lesson, but still I was overcome with awe. The feeling that comes with flying cannot be found in any other activity. It is truly unique to aviation, and it is a feeling that I wish to never stop experiencing. Essentially, I am interested in aviation because it has become a part of who I am.
 
The feeling that comes with flying cannot be found in any other activity. It is truly unique to aviation, and it is a feeling that I wish to never stop experiencing.

Personally, I would be looking for something a little more substantial. This part sounds more like some silly romance that is bound to be short lived. Feelings change. Are you still going to be floating in the clouds when you get airsick and puke on yourself? Not to be crude, but real commitment has to be rooted in something deeper than fluffy, emotive yearnings.
 
Hmm... where did that 5 paragraph essay response we all learned about at university end up?

P1: Restate the question with your three pieces of evidence
P2: Expand on evidence #1
P3: Expand on evidence #2
P4: Expand on evidence #3
P5: State your conclusion
 
Hmm... where did that 5 paragraph essay response we all learned about at university end up?

P1: Restate the question with your three pieces of evidence
P2: Expand on evidence #1
P3: Expand on evidence #2
P4: Expand on evidence #3
P5: State your conclusion
this response is for one of 5 questions, and all the responses together must not be longer than a page. so thats why it can only be about a paragraph
 
Personally, I would be looking for something a little more substantial. This part sounds more like some silly romance that is bound to be short lived. Feelings change. Are you still going to be floating in the clouds when you get airsick and puke on yourself? Not to be crude, but real commitment has to be rooted in something deeper than fluffy, emotive yearnings.
don't worry about being crude, I really appreciate the advice and totally understand where you are coming from. this is not the only question they've asked, and I think that my commitment will show through when I answer the question of what obstacles I have had to face. I've basically been working myself to death to support my flying addiction on top of being a full time student, plus I didnt stop even after a plane crash that I narrowly missed being a part of by pure chance knocked out 3/4 of my flight school's aircraft, which forced me to fly a more expensive plane for over a month (nobody was badly hurt FYI). You do have a point though, so I think I'll still change that last sentence a bit. Thanks for the advice!
 
The person who wins on this one question will likely be a good writer. He or she will have some artistic and/or witty response that makes the judges smile and remember it. Your response will be forgotten immediately after it's read.

I don't know if you are just young or a troll or possibly both. But if this is real and you're young, single, and still in school, find an artist type friend (preferably a single girl) and have her help you. If you win, you can promise to take her flying after you get your license. Then you'll be way ahead of everyone else here who posts to PoA on a Friday night. ;)
 
I remember a kid, maybe 13, say, "I've wanted to fly my whole life!" And I figured, that's what, about 6-8 years?

The passion is just as strong, but "Why are you interested?" can be summed up a little more matter-of-factly.
 
If you'd like to fill out a scholarship application I have a simple plan:

1) GET OFF THE INTERNET
2) Talk to your Mother/Father/Mentor/whomever that vetted your college essays
3) After your answers are written, read them as if someone else wrote them.
4) If you haven't red lined all of your feelings and yearnings, go back to step 3

It's a scholarship application. Not a creative writing contest.
 
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