Seeking Wedding anniversary advice N/A

[gkainz]

Ok, you guys 'n gals have become my "Dear Abby" as I can't find any guidance on this. My wife's father passed away last month, and their 50th anniversary is next week. Any suggestions on acknowledging and celebrating the occasion?
Thanks.
Greg

 

[EdFred]

Never been married, and both parents still alive, but when each of my grandfathers passed away, there was no celebration/acknowledgement/recognition of a "what would have been" anniversary.

 

[tonycondon]

first year after mom died, dad was pretty down. i dont think he wouldve wanted any acknowledgment to make him feel even worse, and no one did.

 

[ausrere]

My mother refuses to discuss her anniversary since my Dad died in 2001. We just usually try to plan something to go do to distract her and never mention the date or the reason we really planned it, otherwise she gets pretty down. It's coming up on June 16 too.

 

[AdamZ]

Kind of a personal choice Greg and it all depends on your mother in law. My Father in Law passed away in October of 03, too young from Lymphoma. His birthday was in March and wedding anniversary in August. These dates were like the elephant in the room. Everyone knew they were there and ignoring them seemed stupid but so did celebrating them. My wife went to take her mom to lunch just to keep her occupied and I called and just said "I was just thinking of her that day and that I hope she was doing ok" Thats all very simple no fuss but just let her know we were there for her.

 

[AuntPeggy]

Just let her know you are there for her. Depending upon how far away she is, a simple "Thinking of You" card may be appropriate.

 

[ScottM]

It would have been my mom's 25th Anniversary next month. I just got back from a visit with my step father and he remarked how lonely he was. I won't be marking the 'could have been' anniversary for fear of making him feel worse. YMMV

 

[Pjsmith]

It's been 20 years this year since my dad died. I call mom every other day anyway, but make sure to call on their anniversary. One of my sisters sends flowers every year. It's a choice that depends on the people, but I guess we felt that Mom would already be thinking of dad on that date, and we just wanted to let her know that we hadn't forgotten.

 

[Bill M.]

Maybe just a simple gift of presence.
I couldn't possibly know what to say to someone who just lost their mate of 50yrs. When my dad died, I went down to Raleigh to visit Mom a little more often and sent her a few more cards than before. Just let her know you're both there for her.