Mortality and such

mikea

mikea

Touchdown! Greaser!
Gone West
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
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16,975
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Lake County, IL
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iWin
- I blew the weekend getting to Morris and back, wondering if this is all worth it. The good lesson is in my old age I don't panic and problem solving on your feet is a fun exercise. It helps when you have a friend nearby to help.

- I'm taking Mom in for surgery tomorrow morning. She said we should go out of Thanksgiving dinner. It IS two days after the surgery, Mom. I'll think of something.

- I just got a call. My buddy, who lives alone, had a heart attack and is in the hospital, brain dead, waiting for the plug to be pulled.

He has a building near Wrigley Field and was attacked a couple of years by three of the usual drunken suburban hooligans when he screamed at them for p*ing on his property in front of his daughter. They hit him in the head with a brick giving him a concussion and permanent dizziness. The cops, BTW, told him that's what he gets for being a rich yuppie and buying a house next to the ballpark in a trendy neighborhood. He lived there for 30 years.

I gotta figure the attack, and his fondness for making waves at work, didn't help his health.

I never felt so old. :(
 
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BTW, the last time my buddy called me he asked why I never take him flying. He hadn't seen the new house since he came out for the pre-buy home inspection. It's quite a drive from Chicago after all.

I was going to call him to join me for the trip to Morris. THAT would have not turned out well, but I really wish I had taken him up again.
 
That stinks Mike, best wishes and sympathy in regards to your friend.

BTW a friend of mine who I met years ago when we rented office space next to each other in the same building, and who is older than me, lost his son this week too.
 
This is the guy who I hooked up after not being in touch for a few years. He had no idea I was flying.

So I called him to join me for a long drive in the Mustang convertible for lunch. We zig-zagged towards the airport. He didn't know I had a destination in mind.

I turned down the dirt road to look at the gun club (he's a hunter) said, "Oh. There's an airport here. Hang on. I want to ask these guys about taking flying lessons..." then I hopped on the wing my plane "This is a BIG ONE!" I tore off the cover and asked him if he wanted go flying in my plane.

I told him to go into the office to check if I really was nuts. He asked whose plane that was. He might have had a clue that I had keys that fit. :D

We went for a $100 hamburger. He was my first passenger.
 
It sucks Mike. My current wife and I learned our lessons the hard way - I lost my first wife at 33 due to an accident and she lost her first husband to a heart attack when he was 37. We've learned to do what we want when we want because there may be no tomorrow. We're not stupid enough to blow off the future, but if we can afford it now, we do it now. Hence my partnership in the plane, buying the Harley this spring and all the vacations we take. Death will happen at some point for all of us but we want to be dragged kicking and screaming and fully worn out!
 
bstratt said:
It sucks Mike. My current wife and I learned our lessons the hard way - I lost my first wife at 33 due to an accident and she lost her first husband to a heart attack when he was 37. We've learned to do what we want when we want because there may be no tomorrow. We're not stupid enough to blow off the future, but if we can afford it now, we do it now. Hence my partnership in the plane, buying the Harley this spring and all the vacations we take. Death will happen at some point for all of us but we want to be dragged kicking and screaming and fully worn out!
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I had a similar discussion with somebody last week - the concensus for us is that 'it's the journey, not the destination'.

Sorry to hear how things have been going, Mike.
 
Just got a call this morning. 28 year old cousin died Saturday. Liver had been shutting down from his excessive drinking. Refused to stop drinking, so they wouldn't put him on the transplant list because it would just be a wasted liver. The immediate family hasn't told his father yet, because he's just come out of a coma that he went into a few weeks back.
 
When I sold my VMax back in early April, the guy and I were talking about living life to the fullest and as he put it "You only get one turn, so you best make it a good one." So, live as though you're going to die tomorrow, but plan as if you'll live to be 100 (or older). That's why I'm doing the plane things now, and try to enjoy life as much as I can.

Mike, I'm sorry to hear about your friend and your mom. I hope your mom makes a full recovery. My mom has had a few major life-threatening illnesses in the past 10 years, and is still here. For that I am thankful. In April when the Virginia Tech shootings happened I had this feeling that I knew someone at VT, and then remembered who. She was a friend who I hadn't talked to very much in the previous few years, but someone who I'd known for 7 years. She was busy with school, I was busy with life. I convinced myself she must have been fine, after all, what are the chances of my friend being shot? The next morning I saw the list of the confirmed dead. Maxine Turner, the first name on the list I read, was my friend. I hate beating the odds sometimes. A few years back, another person who I had been friends with for some years and hadn't talked to for the previous couple of years died suddenly of a heart attack. I had hoped to get to take him out to lunch the next time I was home for a vacation.

Sometimes something hits me that reminds me of one of these people and I start crying. I miss my friends. I missed my chances with them, and I regret it. I try my best to make sure that I won't let that happen again. Twice was two times too many. Still, it's something we all end up doing. We get caught up in our lives and forget about what's really important. When we get a reminder, it's hard and there's no reset button to go do it again.

I hope you get the strength you need to get through this, Mike.
 
Gosh, I don't even know what to say to the losses described.

Mike, I do wish your mom a quck and full recovery and you get to enjoy many more years with her.
 
I decided to learn to fly when my father in law was dying of lymphoma. I decided I didn't want to say " I wish I had" Living life is the best honor you can give those that died.

Mike my prayers for a speedy recovery for your mom.
 
Mike, sorry to hear about your mom and your buddy - that's just hard, no matter who you are or where you've been. It's tough.

You aren't feeling old, Mike - you're feeling human.
 
I got home this evening and found out my mother-in-law, who lives with us, lost her brother yesterday. I always enjoyed visiting him - he flew fighters (a P-40, I think) in Italy during the war, and made a fine life for himself and his family ever since. As sad as it is to see him go, the guy really lived. I've known too many people who say "wait until I retire, etc., THEN I really plan on doing things".

As I said earlier, I'm sorry to hear how things have been going. Do the best you can to get through it.

Matt
 
All really good food for thought.
Mike you are in my thoughts, I think life throws these obsticles at us to teach us something.
Best wishes for you Mike.
 
An old girlfriend of mine once asked her grandfather what he wanted to do with his life, and he responed that he hadn't figured that out yet. He died the next day.

By the way, your not living for today when you buy that Harley. You're living for today when you buy that liter sportbike. Mine will go faster than Vne on the airplane. Yahoo!
 
steingar said:
By the way, your not living for today when you buy that Harley. You're living for today when you buy that liter sportbike. Mine will go faster than Vne on the airplane. Yahoo!
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Done the crotch rocket thing, followed by the LD Tourer thing (Goldwing), now just taking the scenic routes and being able to see the scenery.
 
Like KennyFlys, the losses seem overwhelming at times. I lost my Father to a stroke at too early an age, and my Wife to brain cancer at a much earlier age. What keeps me going is my faith, and my friends and family, both related and church.
We're all here temporaroly, we just don't know how long. I too try to live my life fully, and help others also. When I compare my life with many others, it's darn good, especially those in other countries.
You're all in my prayers.
 
bsdunek said:
We're all here temporaroly, we just don't know how long. I too try to live my life fully, and help others also. When I compare my life with many others, it's darn good, especially those in other countries.
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A very good point. That's what keeps me going more than anything - remembering that, no matter how bad it gets, I am so overwhelmingly fortunate for the life I live. However, that doesn't mean there aren't days when even flying (or driving my Jag) can't cheer me up, or when the person getting flown home in a high dollar private plane at no cost to him or her isn't upset over truly sad events in life.
 
I'm just getting a chance to go through all of these posts after being away from the computer for over a week and just saw this. I'm truly sorry to hear about the difficulties your loved ones are facing Mike, and I too wish your mom a speedy recovery.
 
Mom is doing really well.

I can't get brave enough to call my buddy's family to see how he's doing. I know there's no point in trying to see him. *sigh*

The last they said the doctors were giving him a 10% chance.
 
mikea said:
I can't get brave enough to call my buddy's family to see how he's doing. I know there's no point in trying to see him. *sigh*

The last they said the doctors were giving him a 10% chance.
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I just got a call from his ex-wife. He's gone. He never came back.

They tried tell him I'd take him flying to get a desert treat. He really liked flying with me.

I owed him one more flight. Dammit. :(
 
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Mike, you and I have talked about a thing you've been wanting to do......Time to go do it.
 
Very sad...and sorta familiar. One of my first pax was also a, shall we say, unique and irascible individual... and a good friend who really enjoyed himself on his flight with me and my still-wet PP ticket (even though he did puke; my only pax to ever do that).

He was killed crossing the street about a year ago... same sort of thing as with your buddy: he was vegetative, I was out of town, got to the hospital right after they pulled the plug.
He'd said earlier that he was OK with just the one flight, but I did have the usual guilty thoughts: was I a good friend to him, etc.?

Anyway, just trying to say: no regrets, just go live your life and savor it- your friend would like that. :D
 
So sorry to hear of your loss, Mike. It hurts a lot, I know... especially when you feel as if there is unfinished business.

I lost my best friend to leukemia during the summer of our ninth year. I really didn't understand that he sick; I just noticed that he'd become uninterested in baseball and seldom went outside any more. For my part, I was pretty uninterested in playing checkers with him in his apartment when I could be outside playing ball; so I only saw him a few times during the last summer of his life.

And then he was gone. He died the day before the first day of fourth grade. After all these years, I still miss him, and I still wish I had spent more time with him that last summer.

I'll keep you, your mom, your friend's family, and the others mentioned in this thread in my prayers... my list is getting long these days, but that's okay. God doesn't mind. He stays up all night anyway, and He likes the company.

Again, my sympathies.

Rich
 
I'm sorry, Mike. When my friend was shot in April I certainly had all the feelings going through my head about how I wish I'd spent more time with her and talked to her more, the same goes with another friend of mine died a few years back.

Live life while you can - you only get one turn.
 
Sorry for your loss mike. It really sucks. Especially when loose ends are involved.
I lost a good friend recently to breast cancer. She moved to California and I hadn't heard from her for about a year. I was hoping for the best but her last progress reports were alluding towards the worst. A month ago I was walking home from work and heard my name. It was her husband who I only knew a little bit. The first thing I asked him was how shes doing. The look ion his face confirmed for me what happened. I'd never seen anyone so broken in my life. He was on a trip to N.Y.C. to find old friends of hers and organize a memorial. About 2 weeks ago he had the function. Lots of food and lots of people getting sauced up. Just how she would have wanted it. I invited her husband to come flying with me the next day and told him he was welcome to bring her ashes. His face lit up. The next afternoon I had not only one of the most meaningful flights, but the most scenic flight of my life so far. He's a close friend now.
 
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Mike, I'm truly sorry to hear of your loss.

Danos, what a fitting tribute.
 
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