Madame President (humor)

[Ken Ibold]

Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House.

She has waited several years for this.

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly, the ghost of George Washington appears to her, and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"

Washington says, "Never tell a lie."

"Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that."

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...

Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"

Jefferson says, "Listen to the people."

"Ohhh! I really don't want to do that."

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...

Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"

Lincoln says, "Go to the theater."

 

[steingar]

How the Bush Administration Changes a Light Bulb

How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?

1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed;

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;

4. One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs;

5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb;

6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner: Light Bulb Change Accomplished;

7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark;

8. One to viciously smear #7;

9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along;

10. And finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

 

[SCCutler]

I could turn each of those around the other way, in a heartbeat, but it would scarcely take any mental energy.

I might even enjoy doing it!

But I think it is Spin Zone fodder.

 

[KennyFlys]

 

[RotaryWingBob]

Heard on talk radio today:

There's a long standing tradition that the gown worn by the first lady at the inaugural ball is given to the Smithsonian for display.

The question then is, if Hillary wins, what kind of gown will Bill wear? A Karan? A Dior? And will it be displayed at the Smithsonian?

Inquiring minds want to know

 

[mikea]

...
The question then is, if Hillary wins, what kind of gown will Bill wear? A Karan? A Dior? And will it be displayed at the Smithsonian?

Inquiring minds want to know

Bill Blass, Brooks Brothers, After Six

 

[gibbons]

Inquiring minds want to know

No, we don't.

 

[gprellwitz]

Bill Blass, Brooks Brothers, After Six

But definitely NOT in blue!

 

[Graueradler]

Heard on talk radio today:

There's a long standing tradition that the gown worn by the first lady at the inaugural ball is given to the Smithsonian for display.

The question then is, if Hillary wins, what kind of gown will Bill wear? A Karan? A Dior? And will it be displayed at the Smithsonian?

Inquiring minds want to know

It will only be displayed if it is soiled.

 

[kevin47881]

It will only be displayed if it is soiled.

Which is a foregone conclusion

 

[ScottM]

I could turn each of those around the other way, in a heartbeat, but it would scarcely take any mental energy.

I might even enjoy doing it!

But I think it is Spin Zone fodder.

The funny thing is the first time I heard each of those jokes it wasa spun the other way.

 

[KennyFlys]

The funny thing is the first time I heard each of those jokes it wasa spun the other way.

It was an undecided spider.