Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'Hangar Talk' started by Let'sgoflying!, Feb 9, 2007.
Actually now hanging in my guest bathroom.
Two longs, a short, and a long...
A farmer had property next to a home for the mentally infirm.
One day as he was hauling a load of manure by the place, there was an inmate standing inside the fence watching him. He called out to the farmer and said, "Hey, Mr. Farmer, what are you doing?"
The farmer told him, "I'm taking this manure to put on my strawberries."
The inmate replied, "You ought to come in here! We get cream and sugar on ours!"
From my 11 year old niece. (Best spoken)
"Is buttcheeks one word, or do you have to spread 'em apart? “
Here fishy fishy fishy...
A paranormal research professor asked the audience how many believed in ghosts .... about 90 hands went up.
Then he asked how many had ever seen a ghost .... 15 hands went up
How many have ever actually touched a ghost .... 3 hands went up.
Final question ... have you ever made love to a ghost .... to his surprise one hand in the back of the room went up.
He invited the man to come forward , introduce himself , and tell everybody about this very rare experience.
The man said ... my name is Achmed and where I come from we make love to goats all the time.
A blonde and a redhead were talking when the redhead mentioned that she recently had sex with a Brazilian.
The blonde says .... you are a very immoral woman .... just how many is that anyway . ??
An offhore oil well had a broken pipe and was spewing oil all over the place.
Even the best engineers could not stop it so they appealed to the public for help.
Next day a marriage councilor approached the crew with a very large wedding band and told them to slip it over the pipe.
Immediately the well stopped putting out.
Son of an Arab Sheikh comes to America and enrolls in college.
After the first week he sends an e-mail home saying: ..... Dear Dad .... America is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here .... but I am bit embarrassed to arrive at my college in my Gold Mercedes because all my teachers travel by train.
Father replied back .... please stop embarrassing our family .... tomorrow I will have twenty Million Dollars transferred to your account so that you can go and get yourself a train too.
You all remember Sum Ting Wong, Wi To Lo, Ho Lee Fuk and Bang Ding Ow. These people signed up to speak at the at the School Board meeting. Only one person showed up. She wasn't one of these.
Lol, that's awesome. Guy was clueless. I used to work in accounting for a very large background investigations company, and periodically the IT group would have to try and fix a connection issue with some of the court docket systems. When they'd test, typically they'd just use some fake names to see if it spit out the info on the other end. I would be looking through invoice/docket records and you'd see "Seymore Butts" and similar, which sometimes had us rolling if they had some original ones we hadn't seen.
For about a year I worked in a cubicle farm. It wasn't sprawling, maybe 15-20 people. All the guys in the office were pretty big sports fans and break time was always discussing whatever the sport of the season was. Was probably the most fun group I ever worked with. Stayed on good terms when I left, so when I was out I'd stop in and say hi, or give them a call once in a while. When you would call in, the receptionist, she wouldn't just transfer the call, but always tell the person who was getting the call who was calling. And of course that was on speakerphone so the whole farm could hear who was calling. I never gave my real name when I would call in but always use the name of some football/basketball coach. That always got a laugh out of everyone else who wasn't getting the call.
Dick Butt Kiss???
Yeah, the background investigations company was a real-life version of Office Space. Grey cubicles about 4' tall, with our collections/payables department one row over filled with a bunch of misfits who always had some debacle to ramble about, plus the malfunctioning copier/fax was nearby and the corporate "town hall" meetings just topped it off. My accounting group was cool, and since my mother had worked at this company for 2 decades I had known many of my co-workers for over a decade prior to starting work there. One of the few prior workplaces where I still keep up with my workmates, even though I was only there a few years before I couldn't take it anymore.
That was great. How do people find stuff like this?
That’s the Bob and Tom show. I listen to them most mornings.
I grew up on comedy LP’s, Spike Jones and his City Slickers, and Dr. Demento. Novelty songs are my jam. Wore out a needle listening to Stan Freberg and Tom Lehrer.
Other fun ones of Heywood Banks
And for the guys all out of hope and at the end of their rope, there is this song from DaVinci’s Notebook
Based on context, shouldn’t that be “offwhore”?
A whole new meaning!
Have to bring it around to something a little lighter...
What's the difference between a crack dealer, a lobbyist, and a chain auto repair shop?
Some crack dealers have some sort of sense of ethical behavior.