It seems wrong to lose a loved one on Thanksgiving Day...

TangoWhiskey

TangoWhiskey

Touchdown! Greaser!
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3Green
My wife, Teresa (we've called her "Red" for years--her hair color) has been in Seattle for 9 days now, and was supposed to fly home today, but we had to cancel her flight. She had a tough Thanksgiving Day.

10 days ago, her step-mom was put in the hospital yet again for a perforated liver--a problem that first came to light about 4 weeks ago. Her dad called and said he'd buy her a ticket if she could come up... he wasn't understanding everything the doctors were trying to tell him, and felt confused, alone, and scared.

So Monday of last week, we booked her a ticket, and she flew out the next day. Step-mom (Riann) went home on Thursday or Friday, with home health care. Red has lots of experience with things medical--her mother, who lives with us, has been sick for a long time, and Teresa's been her primary caregiver. She spent the weekend at Dad's house, helping with cleaning, changing IV's, etc. The home healthcare nurse said Riann didn't look good, and couldn't understand why she'd been sent home (we found out later that Riann didn't get discharged, she simply called Dad and said "it's time for me to go home" and checked herself out, against doctor's advice).

Monday morning, this week: Dad wakes up to find Riann non-responsive, calls 911. She goes to the ER by ambulance, doc comes out to say there's nothing they can do except put her on the 4th floor, give her morphine, and keep her comfortable til she passes away... infection is everywhere.

This is too much for Dad to face, so he saw Riann a few more times over the past few days, my wife spending most of the time at the hospital. She, ever-loving girl that she is, didn't want Riann to die alone.

Sadly, she did pass, about 1:30 Seattle time today. My wife was with her when she took her last breath. It was a hard thing for her to watch. I just wish I could be there to give her a hug, hold her hand, and comfort her the way she always comforts and cares for those around her.

Like I said, we cancelled her return flight; Riann passed away just one hour after Red was supposed to have departed for DFW. We don't know when she's coming home, yet... there are now, sadly, arrangements to be made.

Here's a weird fact... when Red called me from the room to tell me "it's over", I stepped outside into the cold Fort Worth air, and at that moment, it started snowing... big, huge, silver-dollar size flakes. It was almost like it was for Riann and Red.

It seems wrong to lose a loved one on Thanksgiving Day... make sure you hug all of yours...
 
I will offer a prayer for Riann and her family, Troy. Our sympathy to Teresa.
 
My grandfather died the night before Thanksgiving a few years back (massive heart attack in the back yard so we had no preparation for it). I know how much it sucks. Sorry about the loss TW.
 
Troy you and your family have my sympathies, and your family should be VERY thankful to have Teresa in their life!
 
tonycondon said:
Troy you and your family have my sympathies, and your family should be VERY thankful to have Teresa in their life!
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Thanks Tony, and Dave, and Ed, and Ken (PM), and all y'all. We are very thankful to have Teresa in our lives... I'm worried that she's going to burn out. Everybody needs her. ALL the time. I try to make sure she takes time for herself, and sometimes I drag her off to get some alone time, because if I didn't, she wouldn't.

Let me tell you a little bit about what makes Teresa an absolute SAINT in this situation... Riann is who her Dad left Mom for. And since Dad isn't taking care of Mom, we are. And yet Teresa's sitting there helping him and Riann through this. Damn, she's a SAINT.
 
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wow, i assumed mom had died or something. She is a saint.
 
My sympathies, as well; and I will keep your and Teresa's family in my prayers.

Rich
 
Sorry to hear it Troy. You're incredibly lucky to be married to someone who is obviously so dedicated to her loved ones!

I've only heard of one thing worse than losing someone on thanksgiving: A friend of mine's dad dropped dead at his sister's wedding reception. :eek:
 
Troy,
Our prayers are with you and Teresa. I don't think Sainthood is good enough for her! Be sure to give her a big hug and tell her how much you love her and are thankful for her when she does get back! And make sure she takes some time for herself!
 
flyingcheesehead said:
You're incredibly lucky to be married to someone who is obviously so dedicated to her loved ones!
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You have no idea, Kent! I don't play the lottery-- because I already won.

flyingcheesehead said:
I've only heard of one thing worse than losing someone on thanksgiving: A friend of mine's dad dropped dead at his sister's wedding reception. :eek:
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Wow, that's awful. I can't even imagine that. I think the only thing that could possibly be worse would be if you were the one getting married and you lost your intended at the wedding ceremony. I'm sure that's happened to someone, somewhere.
 
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Troy - you and your family are in our prayers for comfort and peace. Our sympathies and condolences to you all.
 
I'm very sorry to hear this Troy. Wish I could do something.

Lost my Dad right after Christmas two years ago. It's never good to loose a loved one; on a holiday is just soooo much worse.

Best,

Dave
 
Troy my thoughts are with your family...Your wife really showed a sensitive and caring side for her father during this tough time.

Hope they all find comfort.
 
Troy, my sympathies are with you and Teresa. When she comes home, give her a big hug from me.
 
TangoWhiskey said:
Here's a weird fact... when Red called me from the room to tell me "it's over", I stepped outside into the cold Fort Worth air, and at that moment, it started snowing... big, huge, silver-dollar size flakes. It was almost like it was for Riann and Red.
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When I was at my friend's funeral back in April, it was raining that day. Seemed to me that God was crying with the rest of us.

My condolences to you and your family, Troy. Losing loved ones is never easy, but it's always worst on or near a holiday.
 
Laurie said:
Troy, my sympathies are with you and Teresa. When she comes home, give her a big hug from me.
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I will, Laurie, thanks... I'll do it tomorrow morning. Funeral arrangements are all made, so her and Dad get on a red-eye tonight at 11:55PM and get in here at DFW at 5:30AM. I'll be there to get her, of course!

She gets MY hug before she gets yours, though! ;-)
 
I'm so sorry for your collective loss, Troy. Believe me, I know about not being "there" to say good-by. My otherwise healthy Dad spent over a year in a Veterans' Home because of a major medical malpractice(elsewhere). When I left his room I said, "I love you, Dad," to which he replied, "I love you, too." And again, I went to my home.

The next night, after I had completed the night's run of "Hello, Dolly!", the show's Directorial staff came to me and gave me the news of an hour and a half before -- if you get my drift.

More hugs for Teresa -- and her mother.

HR
 
Troy, I'm sorry for your loss. Take care. -lance
 
While there's no time good to lose a loved one, the holiday season is perhaps the worst. The impact always seems worse. You and yours have my condolences.
My friends Mom made it to her 89th birthday. Friend and I at her bedside.
This is a good time to remember those loved ones, family and friends, who have passed away. Remember the good times, the happy times.
 
Troy between your loss and Spikes it certainly is tough. And I am sorry for your loss. Let me leave you with this thought if I may. Thanksgiving and holidays are more than just the Turkey, and Cranberry sauce they are only excuses to be with family. Sadly sometimes we need those excuses. Although your observance of Thanksgiving sucked perhaps these sad events really serve to remind folks what we are thankful of, You to have such an awesome wife, Dad to have such an awesome daughter, Rahin to have such an awesome step daughter, If you have kids thankful that they have parents who can show them what is right and moral in an honest world, your wife for havng such an understanding husband, the community at large for having such fine examples of selflessness and dedication to family and what is really important in life.

Troy between your and Spikes post there is a lot of sadness but ironically and please don't think I am nuts I see a lot of beauty, beauty in being examples of what life is about and what the holiday season is about.

I will pray that G-d grants you and your family comfort and peace.
 
So sorry to hear of the loss, Troy. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family. It sounds like you've definitely got a 'keeper' in Teresa - make sure she never forgets that YOU know how lucky YOU are. :)
 
AdamZ said:
Thanksgiving and holidays are more than just the Turkey, and Cranberry sauce they are only excuses to be with family. Sadly sometimes we need those excuses.
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Lyle Lovett's song "Since The Last Time" is an excellent and poignant reminder... I think I'm gonna go listen to it now.
 
It IS a hard thing to watch, bless her heart. Thoughts and prayers go out to y'all, Troy. :(
 
Troy, you and your family are in our prayers, too. Also, I pray for safe travel back home for your wife.
 
Troy, I'll bet she knew. Her signing out to go home was her last wish. I've seen a number of patients do this. From her point of view, she died at home. NOT in some institution. It's harder on families but I understand completely.

She had control right up to the last moment.
 
Troy & Spike, I've already expressed my condolences to you. I haven't, however, done the same to Leslie, who lost her Uncle "Buddy" who, thankfully, died in his sleep at 92 years young. We went to the funeral Saturday. He lived a good life, and his funeral was one of joy and laughter, not sadness and tears.

Oh, I was talking to someone today and she mentioned that she actually knew someone whose father had died while dancing at his son's wedding reception. I think we were talking about something like that above.
 
Troy, Leslie: my deepest condolences. It's not easy to have something like this happen - and most difficult when it's a loved one. You can never prepare.
 
Troy,
May your wife be home soon to receive all those hugs I know you're waiting to give her.

Take care
Kaye
 
Troy and Leslie, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. My condolences to you both.
 
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