I’m starting my flight training but I’m scared of dying.

tommy vercetti

Pre-Flight
Joined
Jul 21, 2019
Messages
33
Display Name

Display name:
tommyvercetti
I’m 16, had my discovery flight on Monday in the DA20. I was excited but also scared at the same time. My stomach kept dropping etc and there were winds. I felt like we were going to fall out of the sky (It’s been almost 10 years since I last flew on a plane). I really want to become a pilot, I when I got off the plane going home I was happy, I wanted to do it again. Now here is the hard part. My parents are taking out a $81,000 loan so I can complete flight school and get all my certificates including atp. I don’t want to chicken out and make them waste their money. I really want to be a pilot. So how do I get over my nervousness. I’m pretty sure it’s normal to be scared at first. Whenever I think of my end goal it does get a little better. What do you guys think? I really want to be a pilot so how do I get over this fear?
 
Last edited:
assuming this is a legitimate post immediately tell them how you feel and have them cancel the loan. you’re 16...there is no hurry. don’t make decisions about your life at 16 based in one 20-minute discovery flight. start out slow...take a few basic training flights. that will tell you everything you need to know about your fears. if that goes well then go for a Sport or Private certificate and build from there.
 
Once you stop this damn loan then take time to see what the deal is with you and flying.

Do you have inner ear problems? Fixable.
Do you have confidence issues? Fixable.
Do you need more flying time before you decide? Fixable.

Are you irrational? Not so fixable.
 
Sounds like there are two fears to overcome here: the flying itself, and the high price tag about to be paid and "living up" to it.

Take away the "risk stress" about the money, and the whole endeavor will seem much less fraught with stress in general.
Splashing out $81,000 all at once today for the long goal (especially on a loan -- yikes! don't!) is very risky. Take it in smaller chunks. Start with just the Private. You start with that anyway.

You don't specify in your post what kind of pilot you want to be. There are many kinds, both professional and not! There are airline pilots. Weekender private pilots. Charter pilots. Floatplane-for-fishing pilots. Military pilots. Visit-the-family pilots. Aerobatics pilots. Flight instructors. The list is long...
The Private certificate is the first step for almost all* of them. You'll learn a LOT about yourself during that first part of the journey, a lot about where you want the rest of the journey to go.
You're young, and have lots of time to figure it out.



* Yes, Sport Pilots, I know you exist too, I'm just trying to make a very general point here.
 
Once you stop this damn loan then take time to see what the deal is with you and flying.

Do you have inner ear problems? Fixable.
Do you have confidence issues? Fixable.
Do you need more flying time before you decide? Fixable.

Are you irrational? Not so fixable.
See the things is, i can’t really see me doing anything else but flying. But that’s not the point. I want to be a pilot. I’m going to be a pilot. Just want to know how to get over the fear!
 
You want to be a pilot because. . .?

If it's the act of flying that moves you, motivates you, then press on, and the fear will subside, with familiarity. Probably.

If you see it as a prestige thing, or as a romantic fantasy, the reality may not be for you - give it a couple more flights, but if you can't reconcile the reality with your preconception, then move along. . .

Supressing fear is a skill; you can learn it, and polish it. Dealing with problems in flight is scary - you have to subordinate that fear to your intellect. If that isn't appealing to you, or doesn't sound like a trait you have. . .
 
Sounds like there are two fears to overcome here: the flying itself, and the high price tag about to be paid and "living up" to it.

Take away the "risk stress" about the money, and the whole endeavor will seem much less fraught with stress in general.
Splashing out $81,000 all at once today for the long goal (especially on a loan -- yikes! don't!) is very risky. Take it in smaller chunks. Start with just the Private. You start with that anyway.

You don't specify in your post what kind of pilot you want to be. There are many kinds, both professional and not! There are airline pilots. Weekender private pilots. Charter pilots. Floatplane-for-fishing pilots. Military pilots. Visit-the-family pilots. Aerobatics pilots. Flight instructors. The list is long...
The Private certificate is the first step for almost all* of them. You'll learn a LOT about yourself during that first part of the journey, a lot about where you want the rest of the journey to go.
You're young, and have lots of time to figure it out.



* Yes, Sport Pilots, I know you exist too, I'm just trying to make a very general point here.

Drone pilots :cool:
 
See the things is, i can’t really see me doing anything else but flying. But that’s not the point. I want to be a pilot. I’m going to be a pilot. Just want to know how to get over the fear!
Google "operant conditioning". And fly some more. If the fear doesn't abate some, walk away. Panic kills, in boats, cars, climbing, etc. It kills real quick in airplanes, even simple little GA airplanes. . .
 
You want to be a pilot because. . .?

If it's the act of flying that moves you, motivates you, then press on, and the fear will subside, with familiarity. Probably.

If you see it as a prestige thing, or as a romantic fantasy, the reality may not be for you - give it a couple more flights, but if you can't reconcile the reality with your preconception, then move along. . .

Supressing fear is a skill; you can learn it, and polish it. Dealing with problems in flight is scary - you have to subordinate that fear to your intellect. If that isn't appealing to you, or doesn't sound like a trait you have. . .
For me it is being able to fly and land somewhere different you know? I really really really love landing lmfaoo I’m obsessed with it but for the flying part m yeah.
 
I’m 16, had my discovery flight on Monday in the DA20. I was excited but also scared at the same time. My stomach kept dropping etc and there were winds. I felt like we were going to fall out of the sky (It’s been almost 10 years since I last flew on a plane). I really want to become a pilot, I when I got off the plane going home I was happy, I wanted to do it again. Now here is the hard part. My parents are taking out a $81,000 loan so I can complete flight school and get all my certificates including atp. I don’t want to chicken out and make them waste their money. I really want to be a pilot. So how do I get over my nervousness. I’m pretty sure it’s normal to be scared at first. Whenever I think of my end goal it does get a little better. What do you guys think? I really want to be a pilot so how do I get over this fear?
Please don’t listen to the nay-sayers here. Some, if not all, of what you are feeling can be considered normal. Those feelings diminish as you gain experience. Talk to your instructor about this.

Having said that, under no circumstances pay a flight school up front for your training. At most, pre-pay in no more than ten hour blocks. There are too many stories of flight schools going out of business shortly after taking large sums of money from students.

Also, there may be cheaper options to pay for training. Or cheaper places to fly. Shop around.
 
FOD; Fear Of Death or Thanatophobia.
Look it up, learn about it.
The more your mind understands these things, the better able you are to cope with them.

I am no expert but I suspect this is a normal physiologic reaction we all have built-in as a means of self-preservation.
Some have a lot, some only a little (we’ve all seen ‘fearless’ people).
Some have way too much, some not nearly enough. (this might be categorized as pathologic or abnormal)
We’re all built differently.
I think thanatophobia is something that many people can correct - possibly with support from peers like us, or from professionals**
Sometimes it can be squelched through flooding therapy, repeated exposure to the fear-provoking events or just with maturation and the passage of time.

I certainly would not give up; you are way too young to know if you will always be this way.

** be aware that while this may be necessary for your good health, it poses a risk to your medical status and your ability to fly, especially if you are prescribed medication.
 
Wow, people here are being really negative. I seem to recall another person on here a couple years ago that had a fear of stalls and banking. If I remember correctly he went and took a couple aerobatic lessons, had a blast, learned more about how a plane works, and got over his fear.

Sounds like you may have gone up on a hot, bumpy day (typical in the afternoons this time of year). Schedule your next flight for early in the morning, before all the thermals have had a chance to build up. I found this also helps because the air isn't as hot, which can be unconfortable when the sun is beating down on you through the canopy.

You can also look into flying a heavier plane. The DA20 is a kite. Maybe try a Piper Cherokee, Piper Warrior, or Cessna 172. I know this next suggestion will likely be met with some resistance, but a Piper Arrow may be a great choice to build up a bit of confidence. It has a slightly higher wing loading than its fixed gear brethren and seems to penetrate turbulent air a little better.

Another idea is to build up a better understanding of the physics of flight. It isn't magic that holds planes in the air, it's science. You may find understanding the cause of lift and the physics of flight to reduce your fear. A ground school course could help you with the basics. If you have questions about what you're learning or want more details there are many aerospace engineers on this forum that are more than willing to answer questions. You could PM me, or I'm sure a number of the other engineers here.

I'm not sure where you're located, but it could also be that you were having information overload during the flight. Maybe you can find someone on this forum or through a facebook group willing to take you up for a joy ride. There's nothing quite as beautiful as a night flight on a clear day. You may just need to learn to relax a little in the plane without worrying about the stress of learning to fly.
 
It is normal to have a fear of flying, it is something you have to work through. I have a healthy respect for the very real dangers of flying, and in my job if you don’t have that, then there is something seriously wrong with you IMO.

It is pre-mature to take out a huge loan for all your ratings though. Start with your private pilot and go from there. You are very lucky that your parents support you, and also to know what you want to do at a young age.

P.S. Don’t let Captain Badass discourage you, that is some of the worst advice I have ever heard hahahaha


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
One man's opinion after only one cup of coffee...

Your parents are the problem.

Tell them to slow their roll...

81k loan? No way.

Eat this elephant one bite at a time.

Do you have your first class medical yet?
Read up on this topic before you pull THIS trigger.

The fear you are experiencing is pretty usual. It'll be old hat by the third or fourth flight...

Read Greg Bockleman's second post above again and again. He covers pretty much the entire thing in one post.
 
I also have a fear of dying in relation to flying. Not the irrational “the plane is gonna fall out of the sky” fear. The fear I have is a fear that I will do something dumb and kill myself.............this fear keeps me alive. This is the fear that makes me really do a thorough preflight. This is the fear that makes me follow my checklist. This is the fear that makes me watch my airspeed on landing like my life depends on it, because it does. It sounds like you are having a normal reaction to your first flight, excitement, anxiety etc. Go fly more. Oh, and do not under any circumstances borrow 80k before you AT LEAST have your private.
 
Keep at it, fear of death is a good thing, you need to make the connection that flying does not equal death, mistakes and bad luck can mean death. Mistakes happen, but most aren't deadly, training and studying minimize mistakes. Bad luck? You could be run over by a bus tomorrow, bad luck is part of life, don't worry about it other than to mitigate your risks. How does that apply to flying ? Study and learn. Find a good instructor, train and learn.

I think the key to overcoming your fear is knowledge. Seek out that knowledge, understand the potential dangers and how to deal with them, then fly. Knowledge is key grasshopper.
 
If your parents want to foot the bill by taking out a loan for the full amount up front, they are acting foolishly.

If you have not been honest with them about your fears, you are enabling their foolishness.

Have you discussed this with them or just a bunch of strangers on the Internet who you don’t know and that you really can’t put much faith in? We are not the guidance and counsel that you should seek.

Yet, we try. Good and bad. And at 16, you probably have great trouble distinguishing.

So, my two cents if even that.

As to your fears, you must decide the true nature of your fears.

Do the feelings and sensations of flying make you feel uneasy? Can usually be overcome with more exposure.

Do you fear that you simply cannot do it, that you lack the ability to control an aircraft? Can be overcome with the experience and knowledge that comes with flight training.

Do you fear that flying is just too dangerous? Much harder to overcome, but again experience and knowledge are the key.

Don’t worry about the plane falling out of the sky, they all do. They do it on every flight. It’s called landing. It’s a controlled fall aided by aerodynamics and pilot controls. And you can master the controls if it is what you really want to do.

With training comes experience. With experience comes mastery. With mastery comes reduced nervousness, anxiety, fear, or whatever you might truly be experiencing.

Also with said mastery comes a truckload of fun.

Talk to mom and dad. Agree to them paying for your training through solo. If you get to solo and are feeling better about all of it, press forward. If you can’t solo because you can’t overcome your fears or simply lack the skill, so be it. At least you would have tried and your life life is still only just beginning.

Again, I am but some guy on the Internet who you have no reason to listen to. Talk to your mom and dad. Have them sit in on a talk with your CFI. Work this out with people that you actually know and trust.

When it comes down to it, the advice of SGOTI isn’t even worth two cents. It’s not even worth what you paid for it.

Good luck.
 
Fear is OK. How you handle it matters.

I literally saw a teenager die in a plane the very week I started flight training. His friend died of injuries two days later and I saw the back seater all busted up in the hospital the next week. My instructor had flown that plane two days before. The dangers are real, but we typically don’t feel the same way when we get in a car and drive to the grocery store or church. I made the choice to continue and I’m 5000 hours and 16 yeas past that event, but I do still let that accident scene sober me up from time to time.

I think I’ve actually had more than my share of pilot acquaintances die, like the instructor I should have done my instrument with if I hadn’t had to cancel and go to a family friend’s funeral. He was ex-military and was in a 150 that lost power on takeoff. Stuff I know he knew, but somehow wasn’t able to fix.

You have to decide what risks YOU are willing to take, if your goals are worth those risks, and if you can live or die with the consequences of failure. As a Christian I don’t expect to be saved from breaking the laws of physics any more than I believe I can break moral laws without consequences, but I do believe that there is hope on the other side of an accident or a failure and my faith allows me to deal with my fears.
 
Sounds as if you have a very supportive family. Almost too much so.

The advice against borrowing 81k is solid. Do things incrementally, and keep the borrowing to a minimum. You may find that being Commercial - MEI is all you need for the type of flying you want to do. Or being a CFI could be the greatest thing for you for a while.

Meanwhile, talk to your parents about your fear.

And think of some other times you were fearful and worked through it. At 16 things like a test, or driving alone on the freeway, or asking someone out would be typical fear scenarios that eventually become second nature. Flying is that way, too.
 
Not sure this isn't a troll post. Where did the 81,000 number come from? Any parent that would borrow all the money at one time up front to get 16 year old kid into a flying career is nuts it makes no financial sense at all.

If this is legit my advice is go chase girls for a few years take a few lessons see if it gets better. Learn and understand the physics of flight. Not going to get all spiritual here on a web forum on a possible troll post but there are no guarantees in life. I suggest figuring out why you are afraid of dying. We are all going to die at some point. Worth taking some time to think about.
 
I had wanted to fly since I was a toddler, but was over 50 by the time I started training for real. The first training flight was on a day when quite honestly, if it were me now, I don't know that I'd fly at all. Windy, gusting, low ceilings. About a minute after we took off I was thinking I'd made a serious mistake -- it was like riding an empty soda can on a lake during a windstorm. Not a good intro to flying. It got better.

I agree with everyone who has recommended, strongly, against your parents taking on a huge debt load to finance training for what may or may not be your future career. There is NO reason to do that. None. It's a bad move that puts everyone under a lot of pressure. Financial pressure for them, and pressure to perform for you. There is really no reason not to do this in smaller chunks. IF you can get over your initial terror, as you probably will, then go get your Private Pilot ticket and move on from there.

Go fly some more. Go up early in the morning, or late evening when it's calmer. Work your way up to bumpy days. You need to figure out whether or not flying is really your thing. Listen, I had a lot of stupid sh** running around in my head when I was 16, as does pretty much every 16 year old. It's part of the process. Maybe you'll eventually be an airline pilot, maybe a pro golfer, maybe you'll sit in a cube and push paper around. There's really no way to know at this point; your mushy little brain hasn't solidified yet. It's not you, don't worry about it.

And start learning all you can about flying career paths. There are lots of them other than the major airlines. You don't have total control over your destiny because a lot of it depends on your skill, talents, drive, personality, and just plain luck... but by the time you've got your commercial ticket you should at least have a couple of paths upon which to focus your efforts. Not having a clear picture of where you want to go is a great way to end up where you don't want to be.

Now, go fly some more. Get ten hours and see how you feel. For extra credit, get a part time job and pay for it yourself.
 
You want real fear? Start riding motorcycles! Hundreds of friends have been killed while riding, 2 since June were hit from behind, 1 this past Thursday, Most were hit by cars, some were operator mistakes. By comparison Planes are way safer!!!! If you want it, start small!
 
The advice against borrowing 81k is solid. Do things incrementally, and keep the borrowing to a minimum.


:yeahthat: +1000

How far can you or your parents go without borrowing a dime? Ground school? Up to solo? Glider license? Sport license? Private license? Go just that far and then reassess your fears and desires. Do not go into debt for a "maybe."
 
At age 16 do not waste your life to become a pilot. Pilots will be replaced by technology over the next 25 years eliminating all the first officer positions. You will be 41 years old in a world with a pilot glut. Go to school to be a doctor of some sort. There is will be lots of sick people well past your life expectancy.
 
Not much to add, but just in case you haven't read it enough....

The loan is a terrible idea. Do NOT allow your parents to do that.

Fear is good and healthy, and can be a wonderful motivator. Address fear with careful study of the physics of flight, the systems of an aircraft, , targeted rigorous practice of the skills your CFI will help you attain, and fastidious preparation for each lesson as well as doing very thorough preflights.

Smaller goals. Just getting to point where your CFI signs you off to solo would be a good first major milestone. Dom't commit yourself or your parent's money to anything else at this point. After that time, you'll be able to make more informed decisions regarding your aviation future.

At 16, you don't know what you really want to do yet. I'm 59, and STILL trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
 
I have to admit to not looking at how these types of loans work, but could they have received better interest rates by taking it out all at one time rather than taking out loans for $5k at a time to complete each certificate?

All in saying is maybe his parents are smarter than you’re giving them credit for and it does make sense in this situation.
 
At age 16 do not waste your life to become a pilot. Pilots will be replaced by technology over the next 25 years eliminating all the first officer positions. You will be 41 years old in a world with a pilot glut. Go to school to be a doctor of some sort. There is will be lots of sick people well past your life expectancy.

Technology is going to cause massive change in all sorts of professions down the road, including medicine. If the kid really wants to fly, I say go for it. Not saying he shouldn't also have a Plan B, but I'd recommend that regardless.
 
Back
Top