Richard
Final Approach
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2005
- Messages
- 9,076
- Location
- West Coast Resistance
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Ack...city life
Ted Nugent on Deer Hunting
While on a European tour, Ted was being interviewed by a French journalist. The journalist asked, "What do you think the last thought is in the head of a deer before you shoot it? Is it, `Are you my friend?`or is it `Are you the one who killed my brother?'" Nugent replied, "They aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, 'What am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the French."
A preacher dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The guy replies, "I'm Peter the Bush Pilot, from Alaska."
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom."
The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.
Next it's the preacher's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's in Pasadena for the last 43 years." Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the preacher, "Take this
cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom." "Just a minute," says the preacher. "that man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff, and I get only cotton and wood? How can this be?" "Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter, "while you preached, people slept. While he flew, people prayed.
While on a European tour, Ted was being interviewed by a French journalist. The journalist asked, "What do you think the last thought is in the head of a deer before you shoot it? Is it, `Are you my friend?`or is it `Are you the one who killed my brother?'" Nugent replied, "They aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, 'What am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the French."
A preacher dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The guy replies, "I'm Peter the Bush Pilot, from Alaska."
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom."
The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.
Next it's the preacher's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's in Pasadena for the last 43 years." Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the preacher, "Take this
cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom." "Just a minute," says the preacher. "that man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff, and I get only cotton and wood? How can this be?" "Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter, "while you preached, people slept. While he flew, people prayed.
