Funny ATIS?

NickDBrennan said:
When I flew into Santa Fe on Saturday, the ATIS had a kind of funny message on it. Something to the effect of:

"Visual Approach, Runway 15 in use. Runway 15 is the big runway that is brown. Do not confuse it with our two black runways. They are not 15. 15 is brown, you can't miss it. Advise on initial contact you have information tango."

Has anyone else heard anything funny like that on an ATIS?
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Huh? That is something else. Never heard of anything like it. It should have been "Don't confuse Runway 15 with the others, it is the one with the Big 15 painted on it" haha.
Seriously though they must have had some problem with people confusing them or something.
 
Maybe they should paint them and try that at KLNK. People
keep landing on taxiway Alpha instead of the runway next to
it. They've tried everything else .. including constant reminders
on ATIS.
 
RogerT said:
Maybe they should paint them and try that at KLNK. People
keep landing on taxiway Alpha instead of the runway next to
it. They've tried everything else .. including constant reminders
on ATIS.
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When I landed at LNK the controller asked me if I had the runway. I said yes. He said, "Well, be sure because a lot of people try to land on the taxiway here." :)
 
Let'sgoflying! said:
is there no way to upload an mp3?
its a pretty funny atis.
someone email me if you can host it remotely
wtxvets@overland.net
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There was a very funny one making the web rounds last year- the mechanized voice saying "MSP airport information Bravo. Tower closed. Do not attempt to land here. Winds 330 at 56 G 70. Heavy Rain. Dogs and Cats. Don't be stupid..."
 
RogerT said:
Maybe they should paint them and try that at KLNK. People
keep landing on taxiway Alpha instead of the runway next to
it. They've tried everything else .. including constant reminders
on ATIS.
Click to expand...

I looked at the photo of KLNK on airnav which also has a notam not to land on parallel taxi way A to 35R. In the photo the runway looks like a runway and the taxi way looks like a taxi way. How do folks confuse them?
:confused:
 
Let'sgoflying! said:
is there no way to upload an mp3?
its a pretty funny atis.
someone email me if you can host it remotely
wtxvets@overland.net
Click to expand...
You can post a .mp3 file now. 1Mb size limitation.

We're trying to keep a handle on attachments since they can overwhelm our storage space. If...when we upgrade to a bigger server, we'll re-evaluate the file types and size limitations. ;)
 
bbchien said:
There was a very funny one making the web rounds last year- the mechanized voice saying "MSP airport information Bravo. Tower closed. Do not attempt to land here. Winds 330 at 56 G 70. Heavy Rain. Dogs and Cats. Don't be stupid..."
Click to expand...

...advise controller on initial contact that you're insane.

I'd love to hear mp3s of these...
 
The only ones I've heard were like:
"Saginaw Tower Information Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuliet...advise the controller you have Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuliet."

And of course, everyone calling up says they have Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuliet.
 
bbchien said:
There was a very funny one making the web rounds last year- the mechanized voice saying "MSP airport information Bravo. Tower closed. Do not attempt to land here. Winds 330 at 56 G 70. Heavy Rain. Dogs and Cats. Don't be stupid..."
Click to expand...

With information like that, a 172 is now a VTOL aircraft.
 
At RHV, the tower will sometimes put on their english accent for the ATIS when information, Yank-eee, comes up. They also like information Echo-Echo-Echo.
 
N2212R said:
The only ones I've heard were like:
"Saginaw Tower Information Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuliet...advise the controller you have Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuliet."

And of course, everyone calling up says they have Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuliet.
Click to expand...


The controllers in the contract tower at College Station, TX (CLL) do various flavors of this on a regular basis. It's my understanding they work exceptionally long shifts (sometimes the full tower day), so I guess this is their way of putting a little pep in a not so busy day.

Scott
 
A few entertaining ones here at COS:

"altimeter three zero zero zero one" (no that is not a typo, that is what they said)

"advise on initial contact you have information hotel. gobble,gobble" (thanksgiving day)

"all aircraft PALLEEEAAAASSSEE readback all runway hold short instructions" (very desperate sounding)

"visibility five fog, temperature a balmy three degrees, dewpoint minus one"

"temp -22... Numerous aircraft have reported an illusion on final to runway 17L. Appears to be a grassy area East of 17L and appears to look like a runway. Use caution."

Another one I didn't get completely but went along the lines of "wind 020 at 45 gust 79 please think first before untying the ropes everyone"
 
I kept the one for MSP, it's about 600Kb. I'm not sure how to attach here, so I'll e-mail it to whoever wants it.
 
fgcason said:
A few entertaining ones here at COS:

Another one I didn't get completely but went along the lines of "wind 020 at 45 gust 79 please think first before untying the ropes everyone"
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I would guess it was a warning that you may want to leave you plane snug in it's tie down that day.

Missa
 
Missa said:
I would guess it was a warning that you may want to leave you plane snug in it's tie down that day.

Missa
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The intent was blatantly obvious from their tone of voice. I meant I didn't get the exact wording on it when I wrote it down hours later.
 
here ya go

Edit by Greebo: The attached file is extremely funny but is not work friendly nor suitable for young ears. Please listen with care or use headphones. And don't be drinking anything when you click...
Click to expand...
 
Last edited by a moderator:
During the presidential election campaign, AV Flash reported that the ATIS at Green Bay, WI, said something like:

...on initial contact advise the controller that you have information kilo. I'm Green Bay Tower, and I authorize this message...
 
There's some dorky guy here at CHA that loves to do the Echo thing...

"And you have information Echo Echo Echo Echo Echo " with each echo getting softer.

Corn-y
 
Let'sgoflying! said:
here ya go
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Ok that is EXTREMELY funny but -- not work friendly and not suitable for listening to near impressionable children.
 
fgcason said:
The intent was blatantly obvious from their tone of voice. I meant I didn't get the exact wording on it when I wrote it down hours later.
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Doh! Ahh now I see the light! :rolleyes:

Missa
 
rsleeds said:
The controllers in the contract tower at College Station, TX (CLL) do various flavors of this on a regular basis. It's my understanding they work exceptionally long shifts (sometimes the full tower day), so I guess this is their way of putting a little pep in a not so busy day.

Scott
Click to expand...

CLL is a lot of fun. Read my experience with them in Chapter 33 of my journal.
 
The Old Man said:
CLL is a lot of fun. Read my experience with them in Chapter 33 of my journal.
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Last time I was at CLL they had a G-IV in the pattern doing T&G's. He'd flown up from Houston.

CLL is the one place where I lined up to land on the wrong runway one night just before the tower closed. They were very nice about it. Guess I needed the break.
 
Greebo said:
Ok that is EXTREMELY funny but -- not work friendly and not suitable for listening to near impressionable children.
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whoops, so sorry chuck. DT
 
When I worked at the FBO at EMT (El Monte, CA) I used to give airport tours to school groups on a regular basis. If the tower wasn't too busy, I would take them up there to have a look see. A couple of times the tower crew would let the kids record the ATIS, with each kid reading a couple of words. It was pretty comedic, and the kids had a blast doing it and then hearing themselves over the radio.
Scary ghost sounds in the background on Halloween, Jingle Bells on Christmas, etc etc.
I kinda miss not doing that anymore.... :-(
 
Not an ATIS, but one night when there were lots of thunderstorms I heard the Minneapolis Center controller say, "Center weather advisories are in effect from Midway the airport to Midway the island. Contact flight service for details."
 
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