Donut Etiquette

Sac Arrow

Sac Arrow

Touchdown! Greaser!
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Reference the attached picture of a box of donuts. Someone, please explain to me the logic. I don't understand it.

As a preface, I don't eat donuts anymore anyway, so it's not a personal aggravation. Back when I did, the convention was to take -a- donut and eat -a- donut. Occasionally, and it didn't happen real often, someone would cut a donut in half, take a half and eat a half. I'm not a half donut eater. I'm a donut eater. I never wanted your half donut.

Fast forward to today. We have several half donut eaters. Actually, fractional donut eaters at that. That isn't even my issue though. I understand the logic, they want to cut down on portion sizes and control their caloric intake. I get it.

Well look at the photo. You will see that there are two identical donut halves. Trust me, both halves belonged to separate donuts. So you KNOW that there were at least two half donut eaters that wanted the same type of donut.

WHY didn't half donut eater #2 eat half donut eater #1's other half before eviscerating a perfectly good whole donut?
 
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I think you need to think about other things. Focus on work, women, flying something, anything! I am not trying to be a smart ass, now you got me wondering the same thing and it is gonna drive me crazyier! :rofl:

Maybe the sprinkles were out of order?
 
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Sac Arrow said:
Reference the attached picture of a box of donuts. Someone, please explain to me the logic. I don't understand it.

As a preface, I don't eat donuts anymore anyway, so it's not a personal aggravation. Back when I did, the convention was to take -a- donut and eat -a- donut. Occasionally, and it didn't happen real often, someone would cut a donut in half, take a half and eat a half. I'm not a half donut eater. I'm a donut eater. I never wanted your half donut.

Fast forward to today. We have several half donut eaters. Actually, fractional donut eaters at that. That isn't even my issue though. I understand the logic, they want to cut down on portion sizes and control their caloric intake. I get it.

Well look at the photo. You will see that there are two identical donut halves. Trust me, both halves belonged to separate donuts. So you KNOW that there were at least two half donut eaters that wanted the same type of donut.

WHY didn't half donut eater #2 eat half donut eater #1's other half before eviscerating a perfectly good whole donut?
Click to expand...

some possible reasons:

1) the person who cut the 2nd one saw who handled the first one.

2) the person who cut the 2nd one didn't see who handled the first one and is a germophobe.

3) Cutting a donut in half is actually a way to share the treat with others.
 
hmmm - They don't let us have knives like that where I work.

--

I never understood donut cutter-in halfers. Either take one, or don't - jeez.
 
UPDATE:

The lower half-donut is gone. The upper one remains. The quarter donut is missing too.
 
Did you yell at them yet? Kind of like office rage?






:D


Retalliate/escalate with an Eclair or something.
 
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I'm going to go ahead and make a guess that you work with more than one female. :) I have seen this phenomena before and ran the numbers.
 
I think you should post an anon angry letter on / near the donut box before they are all gone and it gets thrown away.

Oh and go ahead and use those cut-out-from-a-magazine letters and then paste them onto your note. Much more scary that way.
 
The problem with that, is then they would KNOW who posted it!
 
Unless this is one of those odd donuts with frosting over the entire donut and only sprinkles on one half. Perhaps the fractional eater ate both unsprinkled halves because he doesn't like sprinkles.
 
What you are witnessing is self control and territory issues. The half eaters have "claimed" the doughnut The other half eaters know this. So they start their own half eaten doughnut. As the day progresses go back in there and check, the halves with become 1/4s typically after lunch then gone by days end. This isn't sharing, the same person is coming back to their kill and feeding on it later.
 
flyingron said:
Unless this is one of those odd donuts with frosting over the entire donut and only sprinkles on one half. Perhaps the fractional eater ate both unsprinkled halves because he doesn't like sprinkles.
Click to expand...

The problem is the fractional female eater/co-worker has to HANDLE the donut to take her fraction.

Maybe on the next dozen, replace the chocolate icing with chocolate Ex-Lax icing. :D
 
Certainly, none that are remaining. The chocolate ones were the first to go.
 
Since we have no females in our department, by gender or otherwise, our donuts are consumed as a 'whole', and not in parts.

We do not:
- Cut a donut in half
- Take more than one at a time
- Notify co-workers that there are donuts, unless they notice that you have one
- or leave that last donut, pretending to be considerate of others
 
bartmc said:
What you are witnessing is self control and territory issues. The half eaters have "claimed" the doughnut The other half eaters know this. So they start their own half eaten doughnut. As the day progresses go back in there and check, the halves with become 1/4s typically after lunch then gone by days end. This isn't sharing, the same person is coming back to their kill and feeding on it later.
Click to expand...

That actually makes a lot of sense... the few women we have are VERY territorial.
 
Matthew said:
Since we have no females in our department, by gender or otherwise, our donuts are consumed as a 'whole', and not in parts.

We do not:
- Cut a donut in half
- Take more than one at a time
- Notify co-workers that there are donuts, unless they notice that you have one
- or leave that last donut, pretending to be considerate of others
Click to expand...

Wait you do not send out a memo to the entire office like I do when there is free food in the break room? I love doing that at medium sized companies just to see how quickly a 2 pound box of See's Candies / Truffles can disappear after Easter Sunday. One minute it is there and then poof it is gone.
 
kimberlyanne546 said:
Wait you do not send out a memo to the entire office like I do when there is free food in the break room? I love doing that at medium sized companies just to see how quickly a 2 pound box of See's Candies / Truffles can disappear after Easter Sunday. One minute it is there and then poof it is gone.
Click to expand...

Nah - it's every man for himself.

We did have a big customer coming in one day, and somebody stocked the conference room with a donut tray for them. Problem was, we also had a bad ant problem. The secretary checked out the room one last time, just as the customer was getting ready to walk in, and noticed the donuts were covered with ants. Not knowing what else to do, she grabbed the tray and took it out to our machine shop. The guys in the shop just dusted off the self-propelled sprinkles and dug right in.
 
Matthew said:
Nah - it's every man for himself.

We did have a big customer coming in one day, and somebody stocked the conference room with a donut tray for them. Problem was, we also had a bad ant problem. The secretary checked out the room one last time, just as the customer was getting ready to walk in, and noticed the donuts were covered with ants. Not knowing what else to do, she grabbed the tray and took it out to our machine shop. The guys in the shop just dusted off the self-propelled sprinkles and dug right in.
Click to expand...

Awesome story. My BF manages a machine shop and yeah, I could see that. He along with everyone else there treats their body as a napkin anyway (hands always covered in grease / oil / other nasty chemicals). So what are a few ants, right? I mean these guys go home covered in black stripes from where they've wiped their hands on themselves.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Reference the attached picture of a box of donuts. Someone, please explain to me the logic. I don't understand it.
Click to expand...

I understand it:

IT MEANS THE END OF THE CIVILIZED WORLD IS NIGH!

The donuts know - that's why they are leaving earth along with the dolphins:

new+space+shuttle+program+with+donuts.jpg
 
You need to hire someone to keep the others in line. At my work, we call it a DoDo. Director of Donut Operations.
 
We already have our share of dodo's. They aren't getting the job done.
 
bartmc said:
I'm going to go ahead and make a guess that you work with more than one female. :) I have seen this phenomena before and ran the numbers.
Click to expand...

Agreed. And after years of field study, and interaction with the females of the species, I have a theory. The theory is probably not as strong as the theory of evolution (I mean, Darwin had a LOT more years of observation than I did - Origin of the Species and all) but much stronger than, say, the theory of manmade global warming.

So here it goes:

There are fewer calories consumed in donuts consumed in one-half, one-quarter, or one-eighths pieces, than if consumed in one piece. This theory is believed (largely by the female of the species) to hold true even if two halves, four quarters, or eight eighths are eaten over the course of a day. However, and this is where some weakness exists in the theory, observations of the female of the species by the male of the species, particularly in the "office" environment, seem to indicate that, in fact, the caloric intake is not less, but could be more, even substantially more, when donuts are eaten in smaller portions over the course of the day.
 
Did you have some TSA agents visit your office? :D:D:D:rolleyes:

One of the rules of eating etiquette is to NEVER take the last of bit of anything. It's really fun at dinner parties as the remaining portions get small to watch the guests each take half of the remaining portions.... often a very small morsel will be left. :)
 
wsuffa said:
One of the rules of eating etiquette is to NEVER take the last of bit of anything.
Click to expand...

Not where I work - you snooze, you lose.

Things got so bad at a Thanksgiving catered lunch that we had to appoint a secretary to be in charge of portion control so the guys at the end of the line would get something.
 
nddons said:
Agreed. And after years of field study, and interaction with the females of the species, I have a theory. The theory is probably not as strong as the theory of evolution (I mean, Darwin had a LOT more years of observation than I did - Origin of the Species and all) but much stronger than, say, the theory of manmade global warming.

So here it goes:

There are fewer calories consumed in donuts consumed in one-half, one-quarter, or one-eighths pieces, than if consumed in one piece. This theory is believed (largely by the female of the species) to hold true even if two halves, four quarters, or eight eighths are eaten over the course of a day. However, and this is where some weakness exists in the theory, observations of the female of the species by the male of the species, particularly in the "office" environment, seem to indicate that, in fact, the caloric intake is not less, but could be more, even substantially more, when donuts are eaten in smaller portions over the course of the day.
Click to expand...


This is hilarious.

If it was politically correct to frame this and hang it in my office, I would. Unfortunately, I work with 100% females (except the owner).
 
Matthew said:
The guys in the shop just dusted off the self-propelled sprinkles and dug right in.
Click to expand...

You need a compressed air supply and nozzle in the lunchroom to blow the ants off.

An acetylene torch is handy, too, for speed-roasting a hot dog.

With ketchup.

Dan
 
Sac Arrow said:
WHY didn't half donut eater #2 eat half donut eater #1's other half before eviscerating a perfectly good whole donut?
Click to expand...

It seems apparent to me, from the picture, that both Donut eater #1 and #2 are conservatives and did not want to consume any Left side Donuts. :rolleyes:
 
Hmmm.... Every morning there are donuts on the counter at FlightSafety which is heavily male. Taking pieces of donuts seems to be quite prevalent there. I have no problem eating someone else's half or cutting a piece off for myself. :dunno:
 
Everskyward said:
Hmmm.... Every morning there are donuts on the counter at FlightSafety which is heavily male. Taking pieces of donuts seems to be quite prevalent there. I have no problem eating someone else's half or cutting a piece off for myself. :dunno:
Click to expand...

One more infraction and I'm pulling your man card. Do you guys all go pee together too? If you're eating someone else's half you are clueless. Women CANNOT be seen stuffing an entire doughnut into their mouths, they want and are more than willing to eat an entire doughnut. But, to save face, they "cut" a piece off and eat it. Other women know what's going on so they cut their own piece and leave their fellow female's piece be (This is known as "the code"). The doughnut will get eaten in stages. It's a win/win you get to eat doughnut 2-3 times a day and also show that you're not a face stuffing pig on 2-3 occasions by only eating tiny pieces. Be a man eat a whole one, if you don't want a whole one throw what you don't want away.
 
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If you look at the picture of the 2 halves of similar donut you will see that they are actually different sizes - albeit only 1/2 of each of the donut from which they were cut.... one looks to be marginally larger than the other - therefore, the extra 1/2 donut cutter and eater chose to have a "smaller half" than what was already availably cut
 
Jeanie said:
If you look at the picture of the 2 halves of similar donut you will see that they are actually different sizes - albeit only 1/2 of each of the donut from which they were cut.... one looks to be marginally larger than the other - therefore, the extra 1/2 donut cutter and eater chose to have a "smaller half" than what was already availably cut
Click to expand...

It scares me that you noticed this.
 
Just attending to details.........
Call me Sherlock :rofl:
 
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What a coincidence!!!!
This EXACT same situation happened to me just a couple days ago! I was at an office party and I was hungry enough for half of a donut but did'nt want a whole one , so I proceeded to cut one in half, leaving the other half for someone in the same situation. Out of NOWHERE, this old dude from accounting yells at me "You shoulda just ate the whole thing!". So, I turned to him and yelled back " Why don't' you eat MY whole thing you motha@&!*^% ! and while you're at it you can suck the sweet off my %@77$ you old @#*% !

Dang! ... I have No idea why that ol' guy got so cranky bout' a halved donut!!




:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: Sorry, I COULD'NT resist!
 
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