**** Cancer


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Oct 9, 2013
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I know nobody really knows me here. I'm an infrequent poster with normally not much to say.

Maybe this post will be therapeutic. Maybe not.

It's been a week since I lost my youngest son to cancer. His 26th birthday would have been next month. I still can't wrap my head around how quickly it all progressed. He was diagnosed mid-July and not even two months later he isn't with us anymore.

He was a beautiful human with a quick wit and an ever quicker smile. A smile that would light up the room. He loved and was loved by anyone he came in contact with.

He's the kids that would go flying with me most often. So many log entries with his name in the remarks. Pancake breakfasts or just putzing around flying circles over our house. It was nice. I was even able to convince him to talk on the radio every once in a while.

I really don't know how to process this, except taking things minute by minute, day by day. One foot in front of the other. Trying to keep busy doing things that I thought I'd never have to do. Writing an obituary. Picking out an urn. Planning a memorial. Things that he should have had to do for me, not the other way around. Not that that's any more comforting, but at least it'd be the normal cycle of life.

Anyhow... I miss his voice. I miss his hugs. I miss our conversations. I miss just sitting on the sofa with him quietly watching TV. I miss him.

Rest in peace, Ben. I love you, kiddo.

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**** cancer.
Sluggo: Terrible to hear this news. Our families hearts go out to you and yours. The only advice I can give, is to only remember the good times with him and as he was growing up and never let the bad ones be dwelled on.
I am sorry that this happened to you, him, and your family.
I'm sorry.

I lost my mother about 5 years ago - diagnosed and passed away in 3 months. Nothing replaces our loved ones, but it does get easier over time. A little easier.

Apologies for the language. **** Cancer.
Man, so sorry to hear about this Sluggo. Take care.
My condolences. There’s no easy answer or any words that can take away the pain of loss of a loved one, especially the loss of a child. May he rest in peace.
Thanks for thinking enough of us to share this with us. So, so sorry. Mere words can’t help much, but words of prayer can, and you certainly have mine.

I lost my mom 8/31. Losing a loved one is terribly hard, and it must be so much worse when it’s your child. My deepest condolences, sir.
Sluggo, so sorry for your loss. We should not have to lose our children. I suspect Ben will be there with you on every flight from here on out.
You're one of the posters here who I read as a rule and whose commentary I enjoy when I encounter it.

I don't have words to even comprehend your loss. I'm sorry.
So sorry to hear this. No words can ever express the amount of sympathy that we feel for you and your family. Let us know if there is anything you need or anything we can do. I’m at KGEU if you ever need someone to talk to, to vent, or to just sit at the airport and watch airplanes.
Sorry to hear. The speed it happened is rough…my dad went from diagnosis to gone in less than two months as well. I’m sure it’s an entirely different thing losing a child vs a parent, though. My sympathies.
Two of my siblings died before my father. I only remember my dad talking about it once along similar lines as yourself...that it's just not right for parents to outlive children. Hang in there my friend.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can tell that you did a great job as a parent and raised a happy child into this world, keep the good memories alive with you.

I lost my mother to cancer 6 going on 7 years ago and for me I guess I thought it would get better but it still hurts and at random, it doesn’t get better but we learn to live with it, and I’m upset at the doctors hospitals insurance the system etc (for us it was a long battle 10+ years). Dealing with planning a funeral is another thing. It feels like no one cares and you’re left alone.
So sorry for your loss Sluggo. I couldn't even imagine.
The only good think about the C word is it gives you a chance to say goodbye. Otherwise it's a nightmare.

BTDT - somehow I made it thru a stage 4 diagnosis.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain of losing a child.
I know nobody really knows me here. I'm an infrequent poster with normally not much to say.

Maybe this post will be therapeutic. Maybe not.

Rest in peace, Ben. I love you, kiddo.

**** cancer.

Sluggo, you honor your son with this write up ... your feelings and photos have me feeling I knew him as well. I hope that just writing this may help you a little. Your relationship with your son is what all fathers should strive for ... hang in there ...
Sluggo, so sorry for your loss, no one should have a kid pass before they do, but life isn't fair. You wrote a great tribute to him, he sounds like a wonderful kid. As far as how to handle this? Sounds like you are doing everything perfectly, there is no correct answer, I'd be a blubbering mess. Do what you need to do, what you feel is right, smile when you need to and cry when you need to. Praying for you and your family.
Goodness I can't fathom that kind of grief. My sincerest condolences to you, Sluggo. The passing of my children before me is really about the only fear I have in life, one I hope never comes to pass. God give you and your family comfort.
Hmmm. Wow. Your son is gone and I have NO WORDS. My deepest and most sincere condolences…

BUT… you are not. And your son’s legacy lives through you (and now it’s on the interweb, that’s a form of immortality!). And it seems you (and presumably his mother) created quite a legacy to bear, BRAVO!

That kind of relationship is a rare and beautiful thing. Hopefully you can see your pain is tribute to that and proof of it. Let’s hope that aspect of it doesn’t dull too quickly!

Again, my most sincere condolences.

I cannot even fathom.
I am so sorry to hear this. No words man. Just so sorry.
Sluggo, I am so, so sorry to read this. A post that no parent should ever have to make, as you’re doing things no parent should ever have to do.

I hope one day you can find peace.
Lost my wife to cancer almost 10 years ago and my daughter to heart failure this year. All I can offer to you Sluggo is to remember the good times and not the bad times. It helps but never really heals, at least for me. But if you let it get to you, it will be much worse so take care of yourself.

My deepest sympathy.
I'm so sorry, Sluggo. My thoughts are with you.

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You're one of the posters here who I read as a rule and whose commentary I enjoy when I encounter it.

I don't have words to even comprehend your loss. I'm sorry.
I'm another one that has read and appreciated your posts here for years. This post hits like a gut punch because not only do I feel that a friend has lost his son but because I lost a brother to cancer at too young of an age. Perhaps knowing that you have a whole community here to share your grief with will help.
Sorrows, strength, and courage to you, Sluggo. I will hug my 26 year old son just a little harder next time I see him.

F*** cancer indeed.
Thank you for sharing about your beautiful baby boy with us. I hope it is therapeutic for you to write about him and your feelings, and to see the outpouring of support from POA “strangers”.

Maybe if one of us is near your location we can connect in person and talk about planes and life. If you’re ok with it and feel like it, post as much as you feel brother.

**** cancer.
It is hard enough to lose a loved one; when the ordering of things is unnatural, it becomes incomprehensible, dissonant, unthinkable, nonsensical.
We are all on the same road. When someone leaves us too soon, we have no choice but to embrace those still traveling, and remember and honor the departed.
If you have access to any kind of grief counseling through hospice or other means, please consider taking advantage of it.
I hope you and your family can find closure and peace.
I am so, so sorry to hear about this. I can’t even imagine the emotions involved in something like this.

Take care of yourself and never hesitate to contact anyone on this board if you need to unload.
Sorry for your loss.try to dwell on the good times you had together.
Heartbreaking. I don't really have anything to add that hasn't already been said. You and your son will be in our prayers.