Least-Favorite Television Commercials...

What are YOUR "favorite" TV Commercials?

  • Maxi-Pad Mechanical Bull

    Votes: 3 11.1%
  • Viagra, Cialis or other Party-Enhancers

    Votes: 6 22.2%
  • Enzyte

    Votes: 5 18.5%
  • Quilted Charmin' on the Bear's Butt

    Votes: 5 18.5%
  • Every Pharmaceutical Ad...

    Votes: 6 22.2%
  • Sham-Wow!

    Votes: 2 7.4%

  • Total voters
    27

SCCutler

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So I am amazed at the moldering drivel and outright slag the TV pitch-persons hurl at us, in an (apparently-effective) effort to mesmerize us in to buying things we never knew we'd need...

Maxi-Pads - I mean, really, which is better? Seeing feminine hygiene ads at supper time (urp...), or having to explain to Very Young Children exactly what they're about? And who, for the love of all that is holy and decent, ever came up with the idea that a Maxi-Pad is, like, equivalent (or in any way analogous) to a Mechanical Bull? Help me out girls - is there something I am missing here?

Viagra, Cialis, Etc. - OK, let's be real here... does something happen when folks get into their sixties to where the feminine partner suddenly, like, wants a whole buncha that, or is this just criminal fraud? Long strolls along the beach in the misty sunset, dinner by candlelight, and a Little Blue Pill to make it all work out. As long as it does not last longer than four hours.

Enzyte - That plastic-faced, Stepford-wife Fembot - Does she do it for you? Not for me. How about it ladies? Does Plastic Man make your parts quiver, or is it more than a little bit frightening?

Quilted Charmin' - Again, with the supper-time imagery. How many of you like to visualize poo-paper clinging to the butt? Whether it's a cute little bear, or the unbathed TSA agent who just wanded you, no one, but no one, wants to see, hear or think about flecks of azzwipe in the affected region.

Every Pharmaceutical Ad - Drug ads are a pox. (May cause itchy patches on your gluteus maximus, delusions of adequacy, loss of color vision, very small rocks, lead, a duck, or extended severe bouts of moist flatus of the rectum. Consult with your physician.)

Sham-Wow - "It's from Germany, so you KNOW it's good!"

Umm, hello, so were Hitler and Goebbels. Just sayin'...
 
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Being that Enzyte is a convicted, outright snake-oil fraud, it should rank at the top.

I dunno why I would want to sit my own claw foot bathtub sipping champagne outside, separate from the tub with the ol' lady as we watch the sunset but I guess that comes in the box.

Viagra had worse ads when they were getting away with trying to make like it was an aphrodisiac for any man.
 
You guys watch commercials??

It is the 21st century. You can fast forward over the commercial if you use your DVR/TiVo.

I almost never watch TV in real time. Even if I sit down to watch a show I'll pause it for a few minutes and then start watching it so I can skip the commercials.
 
The ones that TSA ran trying to convince us that what they're doing is good...
 
You missed two obvious commercials:

Headon...apply directly ...

and all those stupid political ads.
 
Enzyte and all other pseudo-pharmaceutical ads infuriate me.

I can't believe the bs they are allowed to peddle with nothing more than that little meaningless disclosure. What is particularly galling is how hard they work to imitate a real (regulated) drug. So absolutely bogus it astounds me that anyone actually believes that crap.

All that homeopathic crap should absolutely positively be brought under the review of the FDA. Pharmas have to leap through hoops like circus monkeys, while these shysters get away with a little "these statements have not been reviewed....."
 
I love the one for impotence with the guy tossing the football through the tire. Score! Why not have a train entering a tunnel too? Waves crashing on the shore? Women noshing on hot dogs? It really makes me laugh every time.
 
Enzyte - That plastic-faced, Stepford-wife Fembot - Does she do it for you? Not for me. How about it ladies? Does Plastic Man make your parts quiver, or is it more than a little bit frightening?

Nope, but apparently his "growing confidence" draws awe and respect from everyone around him. I mean who hasn't been in a meeting and thought "You know what'd make this meeting go my way? A smile and ...":confused:

Being that Enzyte is a convicted, outright snake-oil fraud, it should rank at the top.

So having a generous "swelling of pride" doesn't allows guys to do anything from negotiate deals to driving race cars. Are you saying one shouldn't show off to the neighbors at the pool party?:dunno:
 
Mmmmm.... like that a LOT!! :) There is DEFINITELY nothing wrong with that....
 
I had never heard of Enzyte before today...
 
I had never heard of Enzyte before today...
enzyte.jpg
 

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Being that Enzyte is a convicted, outright snake-oil fraud, it should rank at the top.

A federal indictment names Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals, its owner and president, Steven Warshak, and five other individuals, including Warshak’s mother, on charges that include conspiracy, money laundering, and mail, wire and bank fraud. They are accused by federal authorities of luring customers with free-trial offers and money-back guarantees, then billing their credit cards without authorization.
...
... indictment cited ads ...that claimed Enzyte was developed after years of study by two doctors, one at Harvard and the other at Stanford.

“The company president and others made up information in their advertisements, such as endorsements by doctors that did not exist, and results of customer satisfaction surveys that had never been conducted
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14944410/

What's amazing is the stuff being worthless doesn't matter. And the fraudster is still able to run the ads.

When customers ask for a refund they require a written doctor's statement that he has a tiny *. You ever see "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels?"
 
The pharma ads actually amuse me... especially when they're rolling the soft-focus "wholesome fun" footage while the voice-over recites a litany of truly disturbing possible side effects. :D

But the old Lunesta ads, where the glowing Luna moth flits around, apparently putting everybody in town into a coma in the dead of night, still gives me the creeps. Even before they list the side effects. I always imagine these folks becoming alien pupae by morning... :D

I almost miss being annoyed by Billy Mays... no pitchman could bellow quite as well. :rolleyes2:
 
For christmas last year grandma got all the boys in the family Sham Wows. All of the girls got Snuggies. The Sham Wows (especially the small blue one which seems to be a finer weave) work great for cleaning canopies and washing the glider. Leah actually used her Snuggie a few times until I started telling her mom about it. Now she will probably kill me if she finds out I posted that.
 
For christmas last year grandma got all the boys in the family Sham Wows. All of the girls got Snuggies. The Sham Wows (especially the small blue one which seems to be a finer weave) work great for cleaning canopies and washing the glider. Leah actually used her Snuggie a few times until I started telling her mom about it. Now she will probably kill me if she finds out I posted that.

Lol it isn't the "designer" snuggie is it???

zebra-snuggie.gif
 
Of the choices provided, I chose Pharmaceuticals, however, had law firm ads been included, I would have voted for them a dozen times.

"Have you been injured?"

They are the most annoying by far.
 
So I am amazed at the moldering drivel and outright slag the TV pitch-persons hurl at us, in an (apparently-effective) effort to mesmerize us in to buying things we never knew we'd need...

Maxi-Pads - I mean, really, which is better? Seeing feminine hygiene ads at supper time (urp...), or having to explain to Very Young Children exactly what they're about? And who, for the love of all that is holy and decent, ever came up with the idea that a Maxi-Pad is, like, equivalent (or in any way analogous) to a Mechanical Bull? Help me out girls - is there something I am missing here?

Viagra, Cialis, Etc. - OK, let's be real here... does something happen when folks get into their sixties to where the feminine partner suddenly, like, wants a whole buncha that, or is this just criminal fraud? Long strolls along the beach in the misty sunset, dinner by candlelight, and a Little Blue Pill to make it all work out. As long as it does not last longer than four hours.

Enzyte - That plastic-faced, Stepford-wife Fembot - Does she do it for you? Not for me. How about it ladies? Does Plastic Man make your parts quiver, or is it more than a little bit frightening?

Quilted Charmin' - Again, with the supper-time imagery. How many of you like to visualize poo-paper clinging to the butt? Whether it's a cute little bear, or the unbathed TSA agent who just wanded you, no one, but no one, wants to see, hear or think about flecks of azzwipe in the affected region.

Every Pharmaceutical Ad - Drug ads are a pox. (May cause itchy patches on your gluteus maximus, delusions of adequacy, loss of color vision, very small rocks, lead, a duck, or extended severe bouts of moist flatus of the rectum. Consult with your physician.)

Sham-Wow - "It's from Germany, so you KNOW it's good!"

Umm, hello, so were Hitler and Goebbels. Just sayin'...

You forgot (here and in the poll) the MOST despised of the commercials---- Political Ads!!!
 
Of the choices provided, I chose Pharmaceuticals, however, had law firm ads been included, I would have voted for them a dozen times.

"Have you been injured?"

They are the most annoying by far.

(Slaps forehead) D'oh! They are the worst, by far.

You forgot (here and in the poll) the MOST despised of the commercials---- Political Ads!!!

I hate lawyer ads worse.
 
You forgot the GEICO commercial with wood chucks chucking wood. And the other one with the little piggy going "Wee wee wee!" all the way home.

Up till then, GEICO was only mildly annoying. Those two commercials, however, assured that I will never, EVER even CONSIDER buying insurance from GEICO. I'd probably not accept insurance from them now even if it were free...
 
Hehe the best lawyer ad around here had Bill Shattner shilling fror some scumbag personal injury lawyer. It's quite funny actually :D
 
You forgot the GEICO commercial with wood chucks chucking wood. And the other one with the little piggy going "Wee wee wee!" all the way home.

Up till then, GEICO was only mildly annoying. Those two commercials, however, assured that I will never, EVER even CONSIDER buying insurance from GEICO. I'd probably not accept insurance from them now even if it were free...

I actually like all the GEICO ads.

"Is having a snowball fight with Randy Johnson a bad idea?"
(cut to scene of guy laid out in a snow bank)
 
Maybe it's a local thing, but the only ad that ever made me shut off the TV in horror was that Six Flags dancing codger. The rest I consider par. :D
 
I actually like all the GEICO ads.

I like them, too.

And the "Is a bird in the hand really worth two in the bush?" Antiques Roadshow spoof is hilarious.
 
Maybe it's a local thing, but the only ad that ever made me shut off the TV in horror was that Six Flags dancing codger. The rest I consider par. :D

That ad series was truly insane -- I saw it a couple of times when traveling in VA and would have to look twice -- "What was that?!?!"

They brought him back. We even know who's in the mask now - some famous dancer.

You forget that they replaced him with a heavily accented Asian(?) guy screaming, "More flags! More fun!" - not that you could tell what he was screaming.

Speaking of which I always love it when the runs ads where you can't tell what the $%^&* they're saying. You know that they have 100 people before, afetr and during the taping and editing where it all makes perfect sense when you have they script in front of you, but they never see if you figure it out without reading it.

There was a Michigan tourisim ad where they have a cute little girl spewing, "sanbeatwinmitoast! sanbenwinmitoast!" It was good thing they ran the ad a couple hundred times so I could figure out she was saying, "Sand between my toes."

There was a radio ad in heavy rotation for Alcor something where to this day I cannot figure what in the he-- they were saying or selling. She was fast-talking spewing something like "alcormmmmdoptesign."

I remember another radio ad where they would sing that Acme was the world's best in (breathe in and suck any intelligibility out of the words) "Mundge!" I swear I heard that ad 200 times and never figured out what it was.
 
For me it was the oblique pharma ads that don't address any issue, just show some images, name the drug and "ask your doctor if XXX is right for you".
 
For me, it's the razor ads targeted to females that end with the shot of the perfectly v-shaped bush, er, shrub, er, topiary.
Subtle as a brick.
 
Snuggies are just too....cult looking.
 
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