Dumb and Dumber
- Thread starter Tom-D
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wabower
Touchdown! Greaser!
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Wayne
Yoicks! Like the time I decided I could get off a quick shot at a dove even without a firm grip on my 20 ga o/u. The tapered end of the breakover lever is a formidable weapon against a thumb during the kick.
fgcason
En-Route
I did something similar with a variable speed drill a while back. It takes the skin off your finger real quick. Owie.
You want really dumb? Try step drilling a one inch hole through the middle of a 12" tall block of lead with a drill press a little too fast sometime. The learning curve goes vertical when the cooling material grabs the bit and gets ripped out of the very secure mount you have it in. The actual education itself is instantaneous when the bit snaps and 40lbs of lead sails over your shoulder about 2 feet away. Some mistakes are not possible to make twice - ever.
You want really dumb? Try step drilling a one inch hole through the middle of a 12" tall block of lead with a drill press a little too fast sometime. The learning curve goes vertical when the cooling material grabs the bit and gets ripped out of the very secure mount you have it in. The actual education itself is instantaneous when the bit snaps and 40lbs of lead sails over your shoulder about 2 feet away. Some mistakes are not possible to make twice - ever.
colohan
Pre-takeoff checklist
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Chris Colohan
My new drill press came with a spring loaded chuck key which you supposedly can't leave in there (I'm sure I'll find a way...). I thought it was kind of annoying to use. After reading this I'm rethinking my annoyance.
Chris
Tom-D
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Tom-D
My lathe has a 10" chuck, with a key that's near 8" long, when it travels 90 degrees at 800 RPM it will give you one hell of a whack right on the end of your thumb.
My thumb now resembles a purple plumb.
Keane
Pre-takeoff checklist
For the robotics team I mentor (high schoolers), we made something like this. Basically the chuck is on a spring connected to the table (or the wire on hand held drills!) which is loose enough to use, but if you let go, will spring back to the table.
It has saved quite a few students from getting hurt
NC Pilot
Cleared for Takeoff
BTDT. Not fun.
rottydaddy
En-Route
And I thought I was dumb, for once using my finger to brush sawdust off my work when using a big band saw...!
You and I both got lucky, despite our lack of good sense... nobody stares when I point at things with my right hand, but that could have been different. You might have never been able to hitch-hike effectively ever again.
I have a friend who was not so lucky- a big, plushy, baby-soft buffer wheel, of all things, took his fingertip right off- yanked it off- when he accidentally touched the wheel while it was turning at high rpm.
After so many years using power tools, sometimes I'm amazed I still have all digits and both eyes...
Let'sgoflying!
Touchdown! Greaser!
Tools explained:
DRILL PRESS:
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
WIRE WHEEL:
Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, "Oh, s---!"
SKILL SAW:
A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
PLIERS:
Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
BELT SANDER:
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
HACKSAW:
One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS:
Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH:
Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race..
TABLE SAW:
A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:
Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
BAND SAW:
A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:
A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:
Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name
implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:
A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
PRY BAR:
A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
HOSE CUTTER:
A tool used to make hoses too short.
HAMMER:
Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.
UTILITY KNIFE:
Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.
Son of a ***** TOOL:
Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "Son of a *****" at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
DRILL PRESS:
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
WIRE WHEEL:
Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, "Oh, s---!"
SKILL SAW:
A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
PLIERS:
Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
BELT SANDER:
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
HACKSAW:
One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS:
Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH:
Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race..
TABLE SAW:
A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:
Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
BAND SAW:
A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:
A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:
Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name
implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:
A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
PRY BAR:
A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
HOSE CUTTER:
A tool used to make hoses too short.
HAMMER:
Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.
UTILITY KNIFE:
Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.
Son of a ***** TOOL:
Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "Son of a *****" at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
Tom-D
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Tom-D
Yep.. after about a week now the soreness is almost gone, and the broken nail will grow out in 6 or 7 months.
dmccormack
Touchdown! Greaser!
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Dan Mc
Let'sgoflying!
Touchdown! Greaser!
lathes, drill presses, ptos all equipment that makes my spideysense tingle bad. Google lathe accident photos only if you have a very strong stomach.
Mxfarm
Line Up and Wait
PTO's = very, very, bad.
I remember stepping across a live one once - thought "this is stupid", never done it again.
marc
I remember stepping across a live one once - thought "this is stupid", never done it again.
marc
Tom-D
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Tom-D
When I was a kid, it was cool to stand between the steam power engine and the buzz saw and hold a stick on the belt just to hear it click as the belt splice came by. We got smarter as we grew. What didn't kill us, made us smarter.