Equal Opportunity Racial Bashing
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Sven and Ole go ice fishing and were gone for four days. When they got back home they hadn't caught anything. Sven's wife starts to yell at him about wasting four days when they weren't catching anything. Sven replied "but it took us three days to chop a hole big enough for the boat".
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A man goes into a store and asks the clerk for some "Polish Sausage".
The clerk looked at him and asked "Are you Polish?"
The guy, clearly offended, says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you some things: If I asked you for Italian Sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or, if I asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
Or, if I asked you for a Kosher Hot Dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or, if I asked you for a Taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican ?
Would ya, huh? Would ya?"
The clerk says, "Well no."
"And if I asked you for some Irish Whiskey, would you ask me if I was Irish?
What about Canadian Bacon, would you ask me if I was Canadian?"
"Well, I probably wouldn't,"
With self-indignation, the guy says, "Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish just because I asked for Polish Sausage?"
The clerk replies, "Because you're at Home Depot."
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Don't let this keep you awake nights!!!
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>> 1. Is it good if a vacuum cleaner really sucks?
>> 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
>> 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
>> 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
>> 5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
>> 6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
>> 7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
>> 8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
>> 9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
>> 10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
>> 11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
>> 12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
>> 13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
>> 14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
>> 15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
>> 16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
>> 17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
>> 18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
>> 19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
>> 20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
>> 21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
>> 22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
>> 23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
>> 24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
>> 25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
>> 26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?