Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

As the storm raged, the captain realized that his ship was taking on water and could not stay afloat. He called out, "Does anyone here know how to pray?"

One man stepped forward. "Aye, captain. I know how to pray."

"Oh, thank God," said the captain. "You pray while the rest of us put on the life jackets. We're one short."
 
If you aren't too familiar with horses, and assuming this is not photoshopped, well this would be a great way to end up in the hospital with life altering injuries.

braid.jpg
 
Even if you have no familarity with horses, it is easy to know that is a very very bad idea.
 
I've been around horses a lot, my wife used to barrel race. I was taught to hug their haunches so a) they know you are there, and b) if they do kick they can't get extension on you, the kick you low and not your head. YMMV
 
david.h said:
I've been around horses a lot, my wife used to barrel race. I was taught to hug their haunches so a) they know you are there, and b) if they do kick they can't get extension on you, the kick you low and not your head. YMMV
Click to expand...
You can see this done fairly frequently if you watch Bonanza. :)
 
david.h said:
I've been around horses a lot, my wife used to barrel race. I was taught to hug their haunches so a) they know you are there, and b) if they do kick they can't get extension on you, the kick you low and not your head. YMMV
Click to expand...
My wife worked with horses also, and just told me the same thing.
 
28b2edf53c2d543ee6b1e1e33d5bc33f.jpg
 
I don’t want to say it’s hot in Texas, but when I was there I saw a fire hydrant chasing a dog.
 
Father O’ Malley answers the phone.
‘Hello, is this Father O’Malley?’
‘It is’
‘This is the Inland Revenue Service, income tax department.
Can you help us?’
‘I can.’
‘Do you know a Ted Houlihan?’
‘I do’
‘Is he a member of your congregation?’
'He is’
‘Did he donate $10,000 to the church?’
‘He will.’
 
A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:
• Officer: May I see your driver's license?
• Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
• Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
• Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.
• Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?
• Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?
• Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.
• Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?
• Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:
• Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
• Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
• Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?
• Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
• Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?
• Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.
• Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.
• Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.
• Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.
• Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.
 
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