In desperate need of counseling...

A

Anonymous

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Hello all,

Is there any way to have counseling without losing my 1st class Medical?

I'm currently on extended leave with my airline due to Coronavirus. I was lucky to obtain unemployment, but it ran out. I ran into some more luck in getting a job, but its slightly below what I need to live and pay off debts, and its extremely likely that I will have to declare bankruptcy.

I came from an extremely abusive household where the ramifications affect me to this day, most notably the debt. I ran away from my abusive parents, who still attempt to contact me, my dad sending me horrendous text messages.

Coronavirus hit and it impacted my life extremely. Not only did commuting become borderline impossible, but a lot of my social support became unavailable. It is impacting my relationship with my fiancé, the last person I have remaining in my life.

I desperately need help, but I worked so hard for my career and I don't know if I will ever have the money to afford the lengthy battle with the FAA psychs to regain my medical if I get a positive diagnosis.

Is there any way I can receive professional help without jeopardizing my career? Or is it something I just have to accept so that I can get better?
 
The holidays are a tough time for many people for many reasons. Why do you read texts from an abusive person? Block him.

Financial problems come and financial problems go. Call your lenders and work something out, be pro active, lenders would much rather work with you than lose the money to bankruptcy. Plus knowing where you stand will help you feel better about that, even if you don't get what you want. Cut unnecessary expenses, things will improve eventually, they always do.

As for your mental health, take care of yourself, make sure anyone who you engage for help knows that you are a pilot, and that diagnoses and medicines affect your ability to fly and earn income.

Life is not daisies and lollipops all the time, everyone experiences lows. Some need help, if you need help, get it.

I hope it works out for you.
 
File bankruptcy and get that burden of your back. There is no shame in it. It's surprisingly easy to rebuild your credit afterwards, regardless of what others might tell you.

Overwhelming financial burden can seriously affect your mental health. Get this load off so you can focus on the real issues in your life.

This alone will greatly improve your state of mind. And it's instantaneous. The day you file - all the phone calls and harassment has to stop, by law.
 
Seek the help you need and do not report it to the faa. They Are such pieces of garbage and will only find out if you disclose it. Don’t tell the feds a thing!
 
Seek clergy who are trained in stress management. Take care of your mental health at all costs. Good luck.
 
Yes.

Counselling sessions are only reportable to the FAA if it results in a personal psychiatric diagnosis. So don't let that happen. Use of your employer's employee assistance program is also not reportable.
 
Anonymous said:
Hello all,

Is there any way to have counseling without losing my 1st class Medical?

I'm currently on extended leave with my airline due to Coronavirus. I was lucky to obtain unemployment, but it ran out. I ran into some more luck in getting a job, but its slightly below what I need to live and pay off debts, and its extremely likely that I will have to declare bankruptcy.

I came from an extremely abusive household where the ramifications affect me to this day, most notably the debt. I ran away from my abusive parents, who still attempt to contact me, my dad sending me horrendous text messages.

Coronavirus hit and it impacted my life extremely. Not only did commuting become borderline impossible, but a lot of my social support became unavailable. It is impacting my relationship with my fiancé, the last person I have remaining in my life.

I desperately need help, but I worked so hard for my career and I don't know if I will ever have the money to afford the lengthy battle with the FAA psychs to regain my medical if I get a positive diagnosis.

Is there any way I can receive professional help without jeopardizing my career? Or is it something I just have to accept so that I can get better?
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Good advice in this thread. Hang in there buddy. It's all gonna work out.
 
Sounds like it could be more than beers with buds at the bar can fix? Once one is out of the house, that chapter is past, move on. I’m not really big on ‘professional counseling’, sorry, seen it as a money generator.

How about a free ‘Celebrate Recovery’ program at a local church. I’ve seen guys & gals go there for all kinds of things. I don’t see it as messing up a medical.

If you have ‘toxic’ people in your past, even parents, block them & move on.
 
Does your company have an employee assistance program? Companies pay an annual fee. You can use their councilors with no need to report. Contact them and tell them you still work for the company. The employer will never know who attended. They just get a notification of how many employees attend.
 
I don't know what airline you are furloughed from. (just as well) But most airlines want to take care of those problems before they become too bad. This is one of those times when they want to work with the union to keep you in good health, both physically AND mentally. I think they would be a good place to reach out, starting with the peer pilot assistance group at the union. I didn't work with them, but know pilots who did, for lots of different issues. Always seemed like they worked to help the pilot work through their tough times, with the goal of keeping a career in tact. Good luck to you. Keep focused on the reality that bad times don't last forever. There are clear skies after the thunderstorm, you just got to navigate the storm between you and those clear skies, and you will. You are not alone, others are having problems too, and just because you are furloughed, doesn't mean they are not available to you. When i was furloughed, or an inactive participant, I used the union resources. They were there, no matter if I was working or not.
 
I’m not sure that aviation will turn around anytime soon. Are you a CFI, would you be interested in joining a local school and teaching flying? See if you can find a hobby to join. That’s what I have been doing with this time.

If you have to declare bankruptcy then go for it, but get your future debts to manageable levels with a part time gig or something to ride out the storm. If your phone is chaotic, get a prepaid phone or a new line. If you owe debts or have crazy family they will keep calling. You have to cut it off.

See if there are any counselling groups nearby, and use a faux name so you don’t have to worry about going there.

Good luck to you and stay strong.
 
You don’t need to pay extra. I have not come by facilities that require identification to provide services. Many cities or even the facility themselves have programs to provide free healthcare if you sign a statement that you are unemployed.

Check around and search it on the web for the one that best suits your needs.
 
Half Fast said:
You might seek out a minister. Many are trained and experienced in life counseling. Likely there would be no fee and no records. Very confidential.
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Excellent advice by Half Fast. Your church may have people who are counselors who work independently and do not record such sessions, but offer excellent guidance and a kind ear for these trying moments.

For what it's worth, I thought I had gone through rough times until one year, I lost my grandfather to lung cancer, father to pancreatic cancer, worked at at job that didn't pay enough to live off of, went to graduate school at night, and split with my fiance (who then charged up all the cards to the hilt)... probably the roughtest time of my life.

I say all of this to illustrate that these moments are points in time... and you'll remember them, but comparatively, you've overcome worse. Things WILL fall into place as long as you keep pushing forward. This will be just a bad memory next year and subsequent years.

And remember you are not alone. There are many others in similar situations. Knowing this, gather your strength and grit, and focus on the future.

Hang in there. Seek the ear of a minister or someone in the congregation that can help. Enjoy the solace of being up in the air, and count the many blessings you have, not the ones that were impacted this year.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
 
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Some good advice above. If you have toxic people in your life, get rid of them. I've kicked lots of people out of my life who have no place there, and have never regretted it. It's a hard step to take, but your mental health matters more. You're not required to keep toxic people in your life, regardless of their relationship to you.

I would imagine that more people have extra mental troubles this year than not. You're not alone.
 
Ted said:
If you have toxic people in your life, get rid of them.
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I don't hate anyone and try to get along with everyone I meet but Ted is correct in that there are some folks that you just have to distance yourself from.

I have a friend that is currently going through a very difficult time with his wife who reminds me a great deal of a woman I dated many years ago. He asked me how I handled the problem and I told him the only way I could find out of that particular situation was through the door ...
 
Not sure what state you live in, but lots of states are providing free counseling in these crazy times. It may just be via the phone, but that alone may be a big help to you.

Plan B is finding someone and paying cash.
 
Lndwarrior said:
File bankruptcy and get that burden of your back. There is no shame in it. It's surprisingly easy to rebuild your credit afterwards, regardless of what others might tell you.

I strongly recommend against filing for bankruptcy.

Bankruptcy will close many future employment opportunities - bad credit is fixable, not bankruptcy.

Prioritize your problems -

Get well
Find the right employment
Assess relationships
Deal with debt

You don’t have to answer the phone for a while and they can’t take away your birthday. Don’t let collection scum ruin your day.
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Half Fast said:
Agreed but be careful in disposing of the bodies.
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