How to Not Quit?

SkyChaser

SkyChaser

Pattern Altitude
Joined
Mar 22, 2020
Messages
2,015
Display Name
Display name:
SkyChaser
I am so frustrated right now. I am so close to being done. All I have left for requirements are the 100nm night flight and the three hours checkride prep.

The thing is, realistically, I know I've got a lot longer and that's depressing. I was readier for the checkride three months ago than I am now. I have flown three times in the last five weeks. Two of those times were at night. I have logged a total of 6 day landings since mid-October, so I know I'll need to spend a decent amount of time getting those back up to snuff. But I can't get any time in the plane and it's driving me crazy. It's too windy or the clouds are too low or something. Always something. The long night flight I have rescheduled seven times due to weather, and now it's just not scheduled. The weather was awesome for it last night for the first time in forever, but my instructor decided (after I'd left for my trip) that she didn't want to do dual with anyone who'd traveled until they'd been home two weeks. I think it's stupid, but whatever. We were going to just schedule the checkride and figure out the night flight somehow, but the examiner my instructor would prefer to use is an airline guy, and he hasn't put up his availability for December yet, even though it's sorta December already.

I decided that checkride be damned, I'd just make my instructor update my endorsements every couple of months for the rest of my life instead, so I tried to go down to fly solo and beat up the pattern today, but my slot got pushed further into the afternoon and then it was too windy for my solo limitations. I've had about four times as many canceled flights as I've actually gotten to fly the last three months, and I guess I've just run out of optimism that I'll ever get to get this done. How do I get myself back in the game? I've been trying so hard to just keep going, ignoring all the delays and frustrations, studying and prepping for the oral part while I wait, but in the last week especially, I don't have any motivation and I'm not sure that I even know any more why I started flying in the first place if it is so maddening. Could someone please give me a good whack on the side of the head and tell me to stop having a pity party and get back with it?! Thanks.
 
Get back with it <smack>

Read about stupid pilot tricks and where you can go and how planes work. I had delays because of 9/11 and job changes- I had to move and finish the PPL elsewhere causing delays. Stuff happens. Keep the faith.
 
No one who finishes ever says to themselves, "I wish I had just quit right before my checkride." But if you do quit you may well end up kicking yourself for a long time. Obviously you saw something in this activity to get you this far, find that again and don't lose sight of the goal.
 
Have you truly lost the desire, or is it just frustration ? Only you can decide if you want to fly. Good luck on your choice.
 
Planes break, weather doesn't cooperate, instructors change... it will pass. My plane's been down for a month. Then it will be in for annual in February. Then March will be windy and rainy. Then April will be awesome. :rockon:
 
Just a few of the things I have told students over the past 20 years of instructing.

1 You would kick yourself for getting so close and quit.
2 things happen, wx is always a factor for every flight.
3 Don’t overload yourself stressing and studying, enjoy life as well.
4 as a CFI have I have re endorsed students whose endorsement has expired due to things like this. A CFI never minds when these things affect a checkride.
5 You love flying, you will get there. I have seen so many students put too much pressure on themselves and had negative reaction due to all the stress.
6 Keep it enjoyable, even if you are stuck on the ground. It’s not a race to get to the end.
 
fire your instructor for delaying for such a stupid reason.
 
SkyChaser said:
But my instructor decided (after I'd left for my trip) that she didn't want to do dual with anyone who'd traveled until they'd been home two weeks. I think it's stupid
Click to expand...
I think you do not have good grip on reality. My MEI candidate gets a PCR every Tuesday so we can fly together on Saturday. I self test "Rapid PCR"in my office.

Take this stuff seriously, guy!
You do NOT HAVE THE RIGHT to endanger another and right now in the midwest 1 in 7 tests are positive.
Readjust thy attitude. If you were my student, I'd fire you! Growup.

Go get tested and get 'er done.
 
The joy and satisfaction of earning your license will far, far, far outweigh the frustrations encountered in doing so. And, do not allow the insidious disease of "get-there-itis" cloud your thinking. As Yoda once said (maybe), "Time it will be when time it is for it to be."

Hang in there. Patience is a virtue.
 
It will be worth sticking with it. CPL took me a few years between a move, a job change, a child, and another renter landing gear up in my training aircraft.
 
SkyChaser said:
I am so frustrated right now. I am so close to being done. All I have left for requirements are the 100nm night flight and the three hours checkride prep.

The thing is, realistically, I know I've got a lot longer and that's depressing. I was readier for the checkride three months ago than I am now. I have flown three times in the last five weeks. Two of those times were at night. I have logged a total of 6 day landings since mid-October, so I know I'll need to spend a decent amount of time getting those back up to snuff. But I can't get any time in the plane and it's driving me crazy. It's too windy or the clouds are too low or something. Always something. The long night flight I have rescheduled seven times due to weather, and now it's just not scheduled. The weather was awesome for it last night for the first time in forever, but my instructor decided (after I'd left for my trip) that she didn't want to do dual with anyone who'd traveled until they'd been home two weeks. I think it's stupid, but whatever. We were going to just schedule the checkride and figure out the night flight somehow, but the examiner my instructor would prefer to use is an airline guy, and he hasn't put up his availability for December yet, even though it's sorta December already.

I decided that checkride be damned, I'd just make my instructor update my endorsements every couple of months for the rest of my life instead, so I tried to go down to fly solo and beat up the pattern today, but my slot got pushed further into the afternoon and then it was too windy for my solo limitations. I've had about four times as many canceled flights as I've actually gotten to fly the last three months, and I guess I've just run out of optimism that I'll ever get to get this done. How do I get myself back in the game? I've been trying so hard to just keep going, ignoring all the delays and frustrations, studying and prepping for the oral part while I wait, but in the last week especially, I don't have any motivation and I'm not sure that I even know any more why I started flying in the first place if it is so maddening. Could someone please give me a good whack on the side of the head and tell me to stop having a pity party and get back with it?! Thanks.
Click to expand...
If it's not working, try something different. Stop training for one flight, and just fly around and have fun, to remind yourself of why you started doing this in the first place.
 
Thanks, guys. I do love flying...it's the not-flying that drives me up the wall, so 100% frustration-induced overreaction...I think I'm sane again. :p After not being able to fly for 2 weeks, learning I probably can't get done before Christmas like I'd hoped and after the slightly crappy week at work (kids don't like coming back to daycare!), I was really looking forward to some "stress relief" flying this weekend. Some times, I need one of those "I don't need therapy, I just need to go flying" t-shirts from Sportys, and some times I need to remove myself from all communication devices. lol I have until March 2022 before my written expires, so I just need to stop thinking of it as something to get done and more of something that will get done in it's own time. :)

At this point, I refuse to fire my instructor. I've already changed instructors due to circumstances outside of my control and there is no way I want to do that again. Building the level of trust she has in me would take a lot of time to rebuild with another instructor and I don't take that lightly. She's maybe a bit more cautious with solo, etc., requirements, but she's also very thorough and I know that I'll have a very good foundation to build on - if I ever crash, it definitely won't be because of faulty instruction. The weather isn't her fault, and I can't fault her for having a different risk matrix than I do. I work in an environment that would be good reason for her to refuse to fly with me ever and I appreciate her trusting me to mitigate the risk as much as possible and being willing to take whatever risk I present normally.

bbchien said:
I think you do not have good grip on reality. My MEI candidate gets a PCR every Tuesday so we can fly together on Saturday. I self test "Rapid PCR"in my office.

Take this stuff seriously, guy!
You do NOT HAVE THE RIGHT to endanger another and right now in the midwest 1 in 7 tests are positive.
Readjust thy attitude. If you were my student, I'd fire you! Growup.
Click to expand...

To put it another way, I was at the airport for one day, fully masked at all times, at least 10 ft away from anyone at all times. I sat next to absolutely no one on the planes, and was very careful not to touch communal surfaces. That was 12 days ago, and I have absolutely no symptoms of any kind. The only other people I saw during the trip were my immediate family that I live with and rode back with in the car for the 24hr trip. When we got back, my sister had to get tested, and she came back negative. If I had picked it up at the airport, I can pretty much guarantee she would have gotten it. I understand that it's not something to take lightly, and I respect the right for others to request my absence. I don't have to like it or agree with it, but I do have to respect it. My frame of reference to the comment about traveling restriction being silly - every other day, I am at a daycare for 9.5 hrs, caring for children at extremely close range of all bodily fluids, and to my thinking, that is a lot more risky than one day at the airport. I'm sorry if my frustrated venting sounded like I was a selfish child. I'm trying to grow up, I promise! :)
 
The first step in not quitting is to not quit. There are no other steps.

As others have pointed out, giving up on something you love when you are so close is a really, really, ridiculously bad idea. Ask me about my RV-14 build, my commercial license, or even my instrument rating sometime if you want a story about how easy and stupid giving up would be. And if you do throw in the towel from time to time, make sure you don’t throw it into the mud because you’re going to pick it back up sooner or later.

2020 has been rough for everyone. Let the crap that it throws at you be like water off a duck’s back. One thing we are seeing constantly is how everyone reacts to the world closing in around them, triggering their inner reptile brains into overdrive. Fight-or-flight gets even uglier when the latter option is also prohibited. I’m sure I’ve been as bad as anyone, too, but in my moments of rational clarity I have observed some really out-of-character behavior from basically every human I’ve encountered since early March.
 
Take a fun flight. Get your mind off training then knock it out. You got this!
 
bbchien said:
My MEI candidate gets a PCR every Tuesday so we can fly together on Saturday.
.
Click to expand...

Your student can test on Tuesday show negative but still end up positive on Saturday. So it’s a sort of useless.
 
I'd prefer my thread not to get locked. There's a function called a private message, I think, and considering the amount of threads about these same issues, I doubt they need to be rehashed again publicly. As a bad paraphrase of what someone on here as their sig line - "My mind was totally changed by that post on the internet" - said no one ever. Opinions are opinions and it doesn't help to be rude about someone else's opinion. I have mine, you have yours and Dr. Chien has his, and in this country at this time, that's perfectly okay. Some things just aren't changeable, despite what it may seem like after 2020's gone through! :)

2020 has been both one of the roughest and one of the best years of my life so far. Rather like a roller coaster. Sorry about taking y'all along for the ride. LOL I'll get back on the horse next week and I'll be fine. I never did like taking the easy road to get to somewhere. :D
 
jordane93 said:
Take a fun flight. Get your mind off training then knock it out. You got this!
Click to expand...
Seconded. If there’s any way you can fly somewhere with a pilot friend for lunch, just riding along, that also can help. You’ll realize how much fun it is to be in the air flying rather than woodshedding for the test. You’ll probably observe and learn things from the other pilot. (I have yet to fly with anyone I didn’t learn something from.)
 
SkyChaser said:
2020 has been both one of the roughest and one of the best years of my life so far. Rather like a roller coaster. Sorry about taking y'all along for the ride. LOL I'll get back on the horse next week and I'll be fine. I never did like taking the easy road to get to somewhere. :D
Click to expand...
I’m almost 100% certain that horses aren’t allowed on roller-coasters, but that is definitely not the easy road to get anywhere.
 
iamtheari said:
Seconded. If there’s any way you can fly somewhere with a pilot friend for lunch, just riding along, that also can help. You’ll realize how much fun it is to be in the air flying rather than woodshedding for the test. You’ll probably observe and learn things from the other pilot. (I have yet to fly with anyone I didn’t learn something from.)
Click to expand...

Any tips for finding those pilot friends? The only pilots I've met are from out of state and passing through or are fellow students, if you don't count my instructor and the mechanic at my airport. ;)
 
SkyChaser said:
Any tips for finding those pilot friends? The only pilots I've met are from out of state and passing through or are fellow students, if you don't count my instructor and the mechanic at my airport. ;)
Click to expand...
Anyone who reads my posts knows that I am not the person you want to ask for advice on how to make friends. But as far as getting to know other pilots, I just spent an inordinate amount of time at the airport, fully immersed in local aviation. That alone has led to a ton of connections.
 
iamtheari said:
Seconded. If there’s any way you can fly somewhere with a pilot friend for lunch, just riding along, that also can help. You’ll realize how much fun it is to be in the air flying rather than woodshedding for the test. You’ll probably observe and learn things from the other pilot. (I have yet to fly with anyone I didn’t learn something from.)
Click to expand...

Skycatcher....I was in the same situation. There are 4 critieria for every flight: you, the CFI, the airplane and the weather. I can only control me, so I bought an airplane (before I took the checkride!) so now I can control 2 of them. It took me more than 2 years just for the private. Currently working on 10 years for the instrument.

Is there an EAA chapter around? Go join it!

I dropped the dog at doggie daycare today (why shouldn't he have some fun once in a while? Being stuck with me all day is pretty boring) and headed over to the airport. Pulled the cherokee out, headed east for a XC (need to book some time, since I'm only flying about once every 2-3 weeks). Got 2/3rds of the way to my destination and realized I was bored out of my mind. Just not fun without knowing friends or something will be at the destination. Turned around and went home.

One GA airport in Colorado has a sign telling pilots that unless they are residents of that county, feel free to stop, buy gas, then please go back where you came from. The pilots lounge is locked (hence no bathrooms) and the crew cars have been removed. Not the most welcome feeling.
 
I'm going to suggest the the opposite of "take a fun flight", I suggest you check the boxes.

Schedule the plane for 3 nights to do your cross country, if it gets canceled, you already have another on the books. Once you have have that done, book time that you know you can make, but book it like it's all going to be canceled. Focus on solo hours, and with a flight with your instructor once a week or so. Log it as check ride prep, but I suggest that you don't actually get ready for the check ride.

Talk to your instructor about the weather in your area. In Georgia (at least the part where I learned to fly) December and January are terrible VFR months, it may be worth considering putting off your checkride until you can schedule it at a time where your instructor thinks weather cancellation is less likely. Until then, just keep flying. If your instructor is a CFII, consider talking to her about a flight in IMC just for the experience. Then once the weather allows it, schedule, prep for the checkride (since all your boxes are checked you can do this a couple days before), sit the checkride.

Because of cancellations I sat ready for my check ride for months (my checkride was rescheduled so often that everyone at the airport thought is was cursed), it was exhausting. I almost gave up flying all together, I did not pass my checkride the first time because by the time I had the chance to fly it, I paniced because of some rain and planned an alternate cross country (and showed up 2 hours early to preflight 2 different planes in case the one I was planning to fly had issues). By the time I was in the air, I was so stressed out I landed at the wrong airport.

In many places weather is bad for flying right now, just fly as much as you can, and don't worry about your checkride until you and your instructor are reasonably confident things will actually happen.

Also, have fun.
 
murphey said:
Skycatcher....I was in the same situation. There are 4 critieria for every flight: you, the CFI, the airplane and the weather. I can only control me, so I bought an airplane (before I took the checkride!) so now I can control 2 of them. It took me more than 2 years just for the private. Currently working on 10 years for the instrument.

Is there an EAA chapter around? Go join it!

I dropped the dog at doggie daycare today (why shouldn't he have some fun once in a while? Being stuck with me all day is pretty boring) and headed over to the airport. Pulled the cherokee out, headed east for a XC (need to book some time, since I'm only flying about once every 2-3 weeks). Got 2/3rds of the way to my destination and realized I was bored out of my mind. Just not fun without knowing friends or something will be at the destination. Turned around and went home.

One GA airport in Colorado has a sign telling pilots that unless they are residents of that county, feel free to stop, buy gas, then please go back where you came from. The pilots lounge is locked (hence no bathrooms) and the crew cars have been removed. Not the most welcome feeling.
Click to expand...

@murphey I understand, between not having places to go and (a fair bit of) MX I only flew my Yankee 31 hours in the last year. When I bought it, I was aiming to fly it 30 hours a month.
 
Hey Skychaser.....
Too bad you're not in Oklahoma City. I absolutely love taking people like you with me (I hate flying alone), whether it's in the 172, 150, or the Rans S6. I hope to have my RV9A flying within the first quarter of 2021.
Today was beautiful in Oklahoma. I flew my 150 to Haskell (2K9) for breakfast, my brother flew his RV9A there as well. After breakfast, we took his RV to friend a few miles north of Tulsa to Sky Ranch (OK01) to work on his fuel tank. I flew the 150 there to pick him up. From there, he and I flew the 150 down to Gundy's (O38) to help our other brother with some rivets on the airplane he's building. Then we flew back to OKC in the 150. We/I flew the 150 because no one wanted to go with us, if they had, we'd have taken the 172.
When we got home, I flew the Rans S6 with a girl that's been flying with me for about 3 years now. She wants to get her PPL when she gets out of college. But for now, she's just learning to fly the airplanes with me. She handles the 150 and the S6 like a pro. She didn't go to breakfast with us this morning because she wanted to sleep in.:)

So yeah..........come on down to OK....we'll go fly.:)
 
Last edited:
@SkyChaser I have no idea where you are, but if you're anywhere near central NYS and you'd like some in-person encouragement and co-pilot, in your plane or mine, I'd be happy to join you. Like I've said in another thread, you're the daughter I never had but wish I did... love the attitude and outlook on life you have. FWIW, the frustrations you've voiced in this thread have been ongoing frustrations for me for the entire time I've had my PPSEL since 2004. STILL have them, trying to find time when the "stars align" to go flying when I'm good, the airplane's good, the weather's good, and my work schedule is good. It's insane... and absolutely amazing when it works out.
 
I appreciate the offers to go fly with y'all. I'm in south central MN, so a little bit of a hike, but maybe someday! :)
 
SkyChaser said:
I am so frustrated right now. I am so close to being done. All I have left for requirements are the 100nm night flight and the three hours checkride prep.

The thing is, realistically, I know I've got a lot longer and that's depressing. I was readier for the checkride three months ago than I am now. I have flown three times in the last five weeks. Two of those times were at night. I have logged a total of 6 day landings since mid-October, so I know I'll need to spend a decent amount of time getting those back up to snuff. But I can't get any time in the plane and it's driving me crazy. It's too windy or the clouds are too low or something. Always something. The long night flight I have rescheduled seven times due to weather, and now it's just not scheduled. The weather was awesome for it last night for the first time in forever, but my instructor decided (after I'd left for my trip) that she didn't want to do dual with anyone who'd traveled until they'd been home two weeks. I think it's stupid, but whatever. We were going to just schedule the checkride and figure out the night flight somehow, but the examiner my instructor would prefer to use is an airline guy, and he hasn't put up his availability for December yet, even though it's sorta December already.

I decided that checkride be damned, I'd just make my instructor update my endorsements every couple of months for the rest of my life instead, so I tried to go down to fly solo and beat up the pattern today, but my slot got pushed further into the afternoon and then it was too windy for my solo limitations. I've had about four times as many canceled flights as I've actually gotten to fly the last three months, and I guess I've just run out of optimism that I'll ever get to get this done. How do I get myself back in the game? I've been trying so hard to just keep going, ignoring all the delays and frustrations, studying and prepping for the oral part while I wait, but in the last week especially, I don't have any motivation and I'm not sure that I even know any more why I started flying in the first place if it is so maddening. Could someone please give me a good whack on the side of the head and tell me to stop having a pity party and get back with it?! Thanks.
Click to expand...

There is a reason a large percentage of my student’s checkride occur late February and March.

Brian
CFIIIG/ASEL
 
Hang in there Skychaser. Sometimes, trying to fly or learn to fly gets discouraging to say the least. Makes you want to bite nails in two! But once you finally get in the air, the flying can make you forget all the headaches and heartaches in getting there. All of us that fly have faced our own obstacles, so hopefully knowing you are not alone will help you push through to the end. You have plenty of time before your written expires so just relax and have fun! Don't sweat the small stuff. :)
 
Don't forget to practice on your computer, too. It doesn't feel the same as the real controls, of course, but it's good for practicing the sight picture for a stable approach, a crosswind landing, etc. No need to spend hundreds on fancy yoke and rudder pedals (unless you want to).

Make sure you enable winds and turbulence to make it more realistic.
 
I would make the same offer, but living in the desert, if you were near me you likely would not be having WX issues.

If I am wrong, once my plane is out of annual, the offer comes from here as well.
 
Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe said:
My something today:
View attachment 92287
Click to expand...

Ooof... did you see the latest Mandatory Rotax SB to replace the carb floats with the latest version>? :(

@SkyChaser - think of this as a lesson in patience. WX is unlikely to cooperate, something will come up that may scrub a flight, you'll find something that may have you cancel a flight. Just chalk this up to a test of your Aeronautical Decision Making, and enforcement of your skill to be patient and ensure the right timing will provide the optimal outcome.
 
Last edited:
rtk11 said:
Ooof... did you see the latest Mandatory Rotax WB to replace the carb floats with the latest version>?
Click to expand...
Replaced them in '18. (It's off to replace the seal in the water pump - I know, I wouldn't have that problem with a Lycoming :) )
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top