Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

denverpilot said:
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I hope my wife never sees that. She is ALWAYS late, and that is just one of the minor reasons.
 
Half Fast said:
Damn, that's a long way for that Florida plate to drive...
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I couldn't see it well enough to read "Florida", but I did see the wheelchair so that narrowed it down. I think the wheel chair is our State furniture.
 
When geese fly in a V formation, why is one leg of the V always longer than the other leg?



Answer:
Because there are more geese on one leg than the other.
 
A man goes to the doctor for a check-up.

Man: How am I looking doc?

Doctor: You are in grave danger, Mercury is in Uranus.

Man: I don't buy in to that astrology nonsense!

Doctor: Neither do I. My thermometer broke.
 
My buddy stopped by the house and was all beat up. When I asked what happened he said he was having sex with his lovely neighbor when they heard the front door open. She said "Oh my God it's my husband! Quick! Hit the back door!"

"Looking back," he said, "I know I really should have run but you don't get an offer like that every day."
 
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