Funny things non-pilots say on GA flights

First passenger I gave a ride to, after we took the runway, I verified he was ready and he said "I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little nervous." 30 seconds later he said "This is effing awesome."
 
"I'm not going to die, am I?"

"I have a vested interest in staying alive, so I think you're good."
 
The first time my wife flew with me after I passed my PP ride I gave her the controls and almost immediately she gave them back, saying she had scared herself. Years later I'm still trying to figure out how she had scared herself, she hadn't deviated an inch from straight and level. Oh well, if we're going somewhere (and not pattern work) she's happy to ride with me. Much faster than driving.
 
I took up a YE in an LSA. As we were climbing out, he asked, "Can you do a knife-edge?" The answer was no.
 
I've considered labeling the POH 'How To Fly' and letting them know I'd be referring to it frequently. Alternatively I could hand them my copy of 'Flying and Gliding for Dummies' and suggest they may want to have it ready if I have any questions.

I’ve used the line “ok let me get out the instruction manual now” when looking over the checklist. It’s gotten a chuckle a few times. I always use the line right as we lift off( I always say out loud what I’m looking at during the takeoff role so they know we are ok) I’ll say “and away from the ground we go... we are flying!” Most light up at that point and give a pretty wide smile.

What I find interesting is how non pilot passengers are so worried that if I let go of the controls the plane will just plummet to the earth. I like to allow them to fly the plane for a few minutes just so they can say they have flown a plane in their lives, but almost always, people are so nervous to take the controls that most decline. Even after trying to explain to them that it’s totally ok and even removing my hands from the controls to show that, once trimmed properly the plane can fly itself, some still decline. Don’t really get it, but I always respect it and don’t force them to.
 
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My favorite was when I took my Stepmother along.

We're doing the preflight. I have her read the checklist item, I perform the check and explain what it means.

When I'm checking the Static Port (only one on that 172) she says, "oh, c'mon, that can't plate doesn't do anything." I took another stab at explaining how the pitot static system works. She remained unconvinced. Then I say, okay, look closer, see that HOLE in the middle? That's connected to a hose that goes to the..

After we landed she told my father, "I wasn't scared the whole time." Dad says, "How much of the time were you scared?" She says, "No, I mean, I wasn't scared at all."

I didn't tell her I was.
 
Preflight briefing with Chip Gibbons years ago when we went up in his Extra 300:
"If the canopy comes off in flight, I have departed the plane, and suggest you do the same. But if you don't and you can save the plane it's yours to keep."
 
Not exactly "in" the plane but for lack of traffic I went up in my plane to certify a new PAR controller. It was pretty gusty and of course it was hard for me to stay on an exact course. The first one went pretty well and before they switched me to departure for vectors to the next one, I gave my critique of what could have been done better. The second run which was a no gyro was a bit more relaxed but still rough to fly. After a few vectors where it didn't seem like anything he tried could keep me on course, he said, "you're doing this on purpose aren't you?"

My wife's first ride:
"Would you like to fly for a while?"
"Um.....okay" she takes the yoke, grips with both hands - white knuckles"
one millisecond later
"Oh God no...YOU take it."

Wife's second ride with me, this time cross country to Phoenix with ADS-B in on my iPad:
"There sure are a lot of planes out here"
"Not really, you have it zoomed out, most of them are at least 15 miles away."
"That one's not, he's right next to us."
"He's fifteen hundred feet below us."
"What about that one?"
"Its five hundred feet above us and climbing."
silence
"You okay?"
"I don't like this."

She hasn't flown with me since. :(

Very similar wife here ....whenever we drive anywhere, she's convinced that if a car is in sight two miles down a straight road, it's about to hit us. When we fly, I have FltPlan Go running on her tablet for her, linked to our Stratux, and she loves following our route, finding landmarks below, looking for airports, etc. Unbeknownst to her, I keep the traffic turned off on her tablet. When I spot traffic, usually with the help of the display on my tab when it's a small plane and miles away, I point to itout the window and say, "see the plane?" Usually, it takes her a long time to find it and when she does, she looks at me like I'm some kind of eagle-eyed hero. One of these days I guess I'll have to tell her about the trafgic display... but I'm afraid of the constant "he's gonna hit us!" panic. She does that when we sail, too...drives me nuts.
 
Very similar wife here ....whenever we drive anywhere, she's convinced that if a car is in sight two miles down a straight road, it's about to hit us. When we fly, I have FltPlan Go running on her tablet for her, linked to our Stratux, and she loves following our route, finding landmarks below, looking for airports, etc. Unbeknownst to her, I keep the traffic turned off on her tablet. When I spot traffic, usually with the help of the display on my tab when it's a small plane and miles away, I point to itout the window and say, "see the plane?" Usually, it takes her a long time to find it and when she does, she looks at me like I'm some kind of eagle-eyed hero. One of these days I guess I'll have to tell her about the trafgic display... but I'm afraid of the constant "he's gonna hit us!" panic. She does that when we sail, too...drives me nuts.
Have you told her that the only planes that are in danger of hitting you are the ones that appear stationary in the window?
 
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