Funny things non-pilots say on GA flights

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NoBShere

Pre-takeoff checklist
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NoBShere
So normally my friends that I take flying can't stop quoting the movie Airplane, i.e. "What's your vector Victor", "Roger Roger", etc and some Top Gun quotes.

But last week was a first. I will normally have a passenger read the checklist to me for the different phases of flight. They normally enjoy it, learn a little and one less thing I have to do. So we get to the "descent" phase and he reads "Mixture - Richen" as "Ricken". It made me laugh, doesn't take much.

Anyone else have goofy things that passengers have said?
 
I guess I'm the oddball. I seldom take friends flying. It's my wife and I.

If there is a friend, normally, that person is in the back seats.

I'd never trust reading the checklist to a non-aviation person. It's far too critical.

(edit: "reading the checklist" formerly said "a checklist activity". Edited for clarification)
 
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My friend's little girl (3 yr old) described landing as "High, high, high, low".
 
"That was a lot of doopty doo"..... meaning very light turbulence... while moving hand around like an airplane in horrendous turbulence.
 
Rgbeard said:
I guess I'm the oddball. I seldom take friends flying. It's my wife and I.

If there is a friend, normally, that person is in the back seats.

I'd never trust a checklist activity to a non-aviation person. It's far too critical.
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Didn't realize you were flying a 2 pilot airplane.
 
"..Dad, this is just like Google Earth..."
-- my then 19 year old son.
 
Rgbeard said:
I'm not. I still wouldn't hand my checklist to a non-pilot right-seater, and say - "read that to me", as the OP seems to indicate he's done.
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Why would you hand your checklist to a passenger?
 
EdFred said:
Why would you hand your checklist to a passenger?
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I wouldn't. Are you catching me on some sort of grammatical issue and I'm missing it? I do strive to write and communicate clearly and accurately.

  • My checklist is mine, and mine alone.
  • I put it in its pocket when I'm not using it.
  • I don't share it with the RHS person, unless perhaps that person was a pilot, but it's not been done yet.
  • I don't ask passengers to read it to me.
 
You made it sound like passengers only ride in the back seat because they shouldn't be in the front seat.
 
EdFred said:
You made it sound like passengers only ride in the back seat because they shouldn't be in the front seat.
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Ah, I understand.

No, normally the right seat is where my wife sits.

If she's not along, I'll let a passenger be there. It's seldom the case that she's not riding along.
 
Rgbeard said:
Ah, I understand.

No, normally the right seat is where my wife sits.

If she's not along, I'll let a passenger be there. It's seldom the case that she's not riding along.
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Gotcha.
 
EdFred said:
You made it sound like passengers only ride in the back seat because they shouldn't be in the front seat.
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No he didn't. Unless you are really trying to play "gotcha".

edit: Oh, I see that is exactly what you were doing.
Carry on.
 
JOhnH said:
No he didn't. Unless you are really trying to play "gotcha".

edit: Oh, I see that is exactly what you were doing.
Carry on.
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This is how I processed the posts:

I guess I'm the oddball. I seldom take friends flying. It's my wife and I.
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OK, that's pretty straightforward.
Now, since there was a double space (new paragraph) between the first sentence and the next sentence I read it as a completely different situation with the wife not being part of the equation.
If there is a friend, normally, that person is in the back seats.
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Again, with the double spacing, another completely independent situation.
I'd never trust reading the checklist to a non-aviation person. It's far too critical.
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I read that as having a need for a second pilot on board. Had the three sentences been written as one paragraph, I would have read it completely different.
 
I seldom get nailed on games of gotcha. I've done enough writing that I don't often fall for it.

I consider the arrow delivered and taken in the chest.
 
‘If the engine quits are we going to fall out of the sky?’
 
"Oh. THAT'S the airplane!? When you said you built an airplane, I didn't know you meant a REAL airplane."

...'well what did you think I meant - a lawn chair with a leaf blower!?'
 
CJones said:
"Oh. THAT'S the airplane!? When you said you built an airplane, I didn't know you meant a REAL airplane."

...'well what did you think I meant - a lawn chair with a leaf blower!?'
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Well, it is you we are talking about! :D
 
What about fun things to say to your GA passengers?

For example, while rolling onto the runway: "What a beautiful day to die! <pause> Er, I mean fly, of course. Beautiful day to fly. Yeah, that's it."

Or prior to taxi: "I need to call the tower now and tell them we're ready to go. What's the name of your next of kin?"

Or after completing the pre-flight: "Wow, they did a great job of repairing my last crash."
 
When we land I say something like "Well we cheated death once again!"
 
Half Fast said:
What about fun things to say to your GA passengers?
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I've considered labeling the POH 'How To Fly' and letting them know I'd be referring to it frequently. Alternatively I could hand them my copy of 'Flying and Gliding for Dummies' and suggest they may want to have it ready if I have any questions.
 
chartbundle said:
I've considered labeling the POH 'How To Fly' and letting them know I'd be referring to it frequently. Alternatively I could hand them my copy of 'Flying and Gliding for Dummies' and suggest they may want to have it ready if I have any questions.
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That's good. A copy of Flight Training magazine in the door pocket might also be a nice touch.
 
Second time I took my wife flying we departed in some pretty gusty conditions for an overnight trip to Harris Ranch and I was dancing on the rudder pedals during climbout. Around 500 AGL after it settled down a quite a bit I looked over and asked her how she was doing. With tears coming from her eyes she said, "I f***ing hate this!"

We made it to Harris Ranch, and back, no problem. Was well over a year before she eventually went back up with me.
 
I had a pilot passenger once who put in some rather funny ones in the middle of the checklist.
She had a rather "dirty" sense of humor.
It started with, "is the vibrator running?" after engine start
In the middle of the mag check she reads off something along the lines "did engine vibration cause org***?"
There were many more.

Tim
 
The first time I took my daughter on a flight (with my CFI on a lesson), she was huddled in the back seat on a cold winter day. She didn't say much, even though I tried to keep her talking. After we landed she finally admitted she was cold. That's when I realized a rear vent was wide open and blowing right on her. I asked her why she didn't say something about it and she said, "I've never been in a small plane before, I thought it was normal and didn't want to seem like a complainer." Since that day, I've always made sure first timers know how to adjust vents.
 
"Hey dad."
"Yeah honey?"
"I farted in your plane."

- My then 20 year old daughter Meagan

I love that kid's sense of humor.
 
Timbeck2 said:
"Hey dad."
"Yeah honey?"
"I farted in your plane."

- My then 20 year old daughter Meagan

I love that kid's sense of humor.
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I'd be like.... Funny, you mom said the same thing last time we flew. It still smells like roses in here.
 
Timbeck2 said:
"Hey dad."
"Yeah honey?"
"I farted in your plane."

- My then 20 year old daughter Meagan

I love that kid's sense of humor.
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My lovely wife seems to rip one every time she goes up with me.
 
I love sharing aviation with family and friends. My cousin has traveled with me a good bit and is used to most 'airport stuff'. A few years ago, my aunt (who I love right down to her syrupy sweet southern accent) decided she'd finally like to go flying with me; my cousin came along as well. At the time I probably had around 5,500 hours total time and had been a USAF pilot for more than 15 years.

We walked out to my Bo, she put a wary eye on every part of the plane finally settling on the static wicks on the trailing edge of the wing. "Hunnny, one of them thaangs is rusty. I reckun we better not go tadaaay" (the bare metal end of the wick does indeed have a slight bit of rust on it).

On the ramp, door open, engine off. She's climbing in saying "now don't chew take awff til I get seddled now!"

All strapped in and taxiing to the runway (on the taxi line). "Now you need to be in yo-ur lane driivin this thaang!"

During the runup "why are you luukin at the dials so much? Are we gonna craysh?"

Everytime she said something my cousin is admonishing her on the intercom as he cringes at what she's saying. "Mom, he does this for a living! Leave him alone!" I thought it was hilarious.

It all paid off, about 15 seconds after liftoff while still on the upwind leg she looks over at me, hits me on the arm and says "Why didn't you tell me it was going to be this great?" We flew for about an hour, looked at her house and all the local touristy stuff (Sevierville/Gatlinburg area of TN). She's not sure she wants to do it again, but she talks fondly of it everytime I see her.
 
Not exactly "in" the plane but for lack of traffic I went up in my plane to certify a new PAR controller. It was pretty gusty and of course it was hard for me to stay on an exact course. The first one went pretty well and before they switched me to departure for vectors to the next one, I gave my critique of what could have been done better. The second run which was a no gyro was a bit more relaxed but still rough to fly. After a few vectors where it didn't seem like anything he tried could keep me on course, he said, "you're doing this on purpose aren't you?"

My wife's first ride:
"Would you like to fly for a while?"
"Um.....okay" she takes the yoke, grips with both hands - white knuckles"
one millisecond later
"Oh God no...YOU take it."

Wife's second ride with me, this time cross country to Phoenix with ADS-B in on my iPad:
"There sure are a lot of planes out here"
"Not really, you have it zoomed out, most of them are at least 15 miles away."
"That one's not, he's right next to us."
"He's fifteen hundred feet below us."
"What about that one?"
"Its five hundred feet above us and climbing."
silence
"You okay?"
"I don't like this."

She hasn't flown with me since. :(
 
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