Flying with/without your significant other

How does your significant other feel about your flying?

  • Hates it. Wants you to stop. Divorce is imminent :)(from spouse or planes)

    Votes: 1 0.9%

  • Accepts it. But does not get on the plane with you.

    Votes: 20 18.0%

  • Ok with it. Travels with you on the plane, but prefers a car anyway

    Votes: 17 15.3%

  • It's whatever is best for the travel mission at hand.

    Votes: 16 14.4%

  • Likes it. Great passenger who wants to go places. But NOT interested in doing any flying

    Votes: 31 27.9%

  • Likes it enough to be a helpful copilot. Learned basics for emergencies

    Votes: 14 12.6%

  • A pilot.

    Votes: 6 5.4%

  • More experienced pilot than you.

    Votes: 6 5.4%

  • Taught you to be a pilot.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    111
genna

genna

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ТУ-104
#5 meant to say " Likes it. Great passenger who wants to go places. But NOT interested in doing any flying"

After getting some interesting responses to my "wife has seen the light" thread, i figured this should be an interesting poll.

How does your significant other feel about your flying?
 
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My wife usually doesn't like to go up on local flights, but we travel together quite a bit. She's toyed with the idea of getting her ticket, but really doesn't have the flying bug per se but she enjoys the fact we own a plane. She does like to help when she does fly so she's learned to tune the radios and is good at spotting traffic, particularly when we get an alert from ATC (we're IFR 100% on X/C's).
 
Mine rarely flies with me. She doesn't enjoy it, and therefore it takes away some of my enjoyment if she is along. She also knows that asking me to quit flying and sell the airplanes would be like me asking her to quit riding and sell her horses - and that is never going to happen.

The deal we have is she is always welcome to come with me, but I don't ever ask her any more. The one exception she makes? When there is a horse she wants to see, and she knows it's too far away to convince me to drive.
 
I'll be the oddball for your poll.

My wife (pilot) flew commercial for several years until right after 9/11. She loves flying and way more experience and ratings. I think we actually had an argument once over who was taking the plane on a nice weekend day. Nowadays the battle is over who is left seat for family trips. I am trying to build time so she hasn't been flying as much as she likes. Except for the first part (her leaving aviation after 9/11) all the rest are nice problems to have :)
 
My wife enjoys flying, loves going places that would be way to far to drive. She would like to learn enough about flying to get the airplane back on the ground safely if something was to happen to me, but that is about it. I've taught her how to use the transponder since its much easier for someone in the right seat to set it than from the left seat. The first time we flew in the airplane I bought half of, she said its the best thing we've ever bought.
 
My wife started me flying. I talked about wanting to learn how to fly since I was a kid and she bought me a 3-lesson package for my birthday (coming up on 30 years ago) so I could "get it out of my system" :D. She was my first passenger and enjoys when we fly together on trips. Not particularly interested in being more than a passenger.
 
Will only fly on very short flights that end with a party or good restaurant.
 
My wife will fly with me occasionally, if it's somewhere she wants to go. That means a couple times a year or so. She doesn't like it much, gets a whole lot less enthusiastic if there's any turbulence, and can only do about an hour or so before she starts complaining about the seat. I'm not entirely sure if a new seat would fix that last part, or not.
 
My wife accompanied me on a number of adventures in my T-Craft years ago. Now, she has no desire to fly, but doesn't mind my flying... so I had a series of single seat planes. Now that I have a 2 place biplane, I'm trying to get her to agree to a short $100 hamburger in a nice day, but until she gets her knee fixed she isn't able to climb into the front cockpit.
 
Why do people care that much? It's important to cater to your significant other, sure, and life (especially relationships) is about compromises. But if flying is such a big passion to you that must really suck to be with someone who (at best) just tolerates it but never goes, or at worst, someone who actively hates the hobby. Would you ask your wife or gf to stop singing, swimming, riding horses, etc., because of some personal prejudice against the hobby?

It's honestly crazy

When I was married my wife supported my hobby, but she only joined if it was as a preferred means of conveyance somewhere, because 2 hrs beats 6 by car or the hassles of commercial travel, but she didn't take any personal enjoyment out of flying itself

I have friends who legit cancel flying plans, etc., or simply don't fly, or fly very little, because of their wife or gf. It's nonsense.

People are so terrified of being alone and attach to whatever they can in sacrifice of their own needs. It's crazy

GRG55 said:
Mine rarely flies with me. She doesn't enjoy it, and therefore it takes away some of my enjoyment if she is along. She also knows that asking me to quit flying and sell the airplanes would be like me asking her to quit riding and sell her horses - and that is never going to happen.

The deal we have is she is always welcome to come with me, but I don't ever ask her any more. The one exception she makes? When there is a horse she wants to see, and she knows it's too far away to convince me to drive.
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Seems like a very pragmatic and reasonable approach. Basically my philosophy now with current relationships. Friends ask why I haven't brought my gf up flying.. and honestly, why would I? It won't add anything to my hobby.. eventually she'll come up if we do a weekend away someone or something

It's like asking someone who doesn't ski to come with you and sit in the lodge all day just to watch you go up and down the mountain. They'll always say "I'll hang out in the lodge and drink haha" but mind you, most lodges are not some bougie Aspen thing with fancy drinks and nice accouterments, it's a warm, humid, damp, often smelly environment, crowded with screaming kids and people changing and eating greasy food with an overcrowded bar serving $15 coors lights and watered down mixed drinks that are 90% ice with half a shot of cheap liquor and sprite.. not a fun place to spend 8 hours
 
#2. Her father died in a crash, and I sat out 18 yrs. When I told her I was thinking of flying again, she said “that’s fine, just don’t ever ask me to go with you.”

7 yrs and 350 hrs later I still don’t ask.
 
#2/3. Flew with me three or four times and does not like it. Gave it a shot. She let's me go up with our son (who does like it), though he only really pays attention to the landing and takeoff parts which are his favorites (and mine tbh).
 
One mistake I've seen over, and over again, and I submit this as a warning to others:

(This happens with both airplanes and motorcycles. Also, I'm writing this male-biased. Forgive me.)

You get an enthusiastic spouse/gf, and then begin to try and encourage her to grab the controls, "feel the plane", whatnot. You think you're trying to share the experience. You're not.

If she wants to ... she will ask. If she never asks... don't assume it's wanted. Just fly the plane.

And for those that don't get the chilly temp, they take the next step, and begin encouraging her to get a license of her own.

This often ends badly. Can be really bad. (I.E., won't fly with you EVER again, because you're a total knob once you climb in the seat.)

She doesnt' feel like she's being listened to. Didn't want to actually fly the plane in the first place, and doesn't want to commit to the mental game, hours and dollars and whatnot to get a baseline PPL.
 
The wife’s hobby is touring historical homes.. her bible is the National Geographic Guide to America’s Great Houses. She picks the destination and I/we get to fly! Win-Win! She doesn’t enjoy just tooling around, but if there is a destination, she’s ready! No real desire to fly, but is pretty good at straight and level. Never an argument over cost of plane.
 
Tantalum said:
Why do people care that much? It's important to cater to your significant other, sure, and life (especially relationships) is about compromises. But if flying is such a big passion to you that must really suck to be with someone who (at best) just tolerates it but never goes, or at worst, someone who actively hates the hobby. Would you ask your wife or gf to stop singing, swimming, riding horses, etc., because of some personal prejudice against the hobby?

It's honestly crazy

When I was married my wife supported my hobby, but she only joined if it was as a preferred means of conveyance somewhere, because 2 hrs beats 6 by car or the hassles of commercial travel, but she didn't take any personal enjoyment out of flying itself

I have friends who legit cancel flying plans, etc., or simply don't fly, or fly very little, because of their wife or gf. It's nonsense.

People are so terrified of being alone and attach to whatever they can in sacrifice of their own needs. It's crazy
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Everyone is different. My wife hadn't figured out that she doesn't like flying until after we got married. Up until then she had only been on a plane 3 times. All commercial and all tied to me. Yep, I blame myself. To be fair, she does not prevent me from flying(or really any other hobby) in any way. I just finished my Com training a few months ago and she was mostly ok with it. It's just harder to do it when it means that you have to do it separately from each other. There are other things that are specific to our situation that play into it. I suppose that it gets easier as you settle in and spend more time being married, but i'm not there yet. Having a little one makes it even more difficult to justify spending time apart or even have energy and desire sometimes. Money, of course, is another thing to consider.

Being able to do activity together is a huge plus. At some point we had a deal. She goes flying with me, I go shopping(her hobby, I hate it) with her... I think we both ended up reneging on it.
 
I’m reassured that 10% of us have wives who are more experienced pilots than us’ns. I was trying not to feel inferior.

I’ve been flying since 1971, but not even close to my sweetie’s hours.

Jim
 
Rgbeard said:
What about you? Curious - what do you fly?
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Just ultralights at this point. I started SP training, progressed to the point that all I needed was the XC solo and the checkride to finish; and then I put it aside when I moved after the old lady and I split, fully intending to finish my ticket up here.

Then I met a fellow who owned a few ultralights but who didn't feel comfortable maintaining them. We made a handshake deal that I would do any maintenance they need in return for all the flying time I want. I've found that I actually enjoy ultralights more than I do certificated airplanes. I especially enjoy trikes (weight-shift control), which I believe is as close to being a bird as you can get.

I may still finish SP just to say I did it. But it would be for WSC, so I'd basically have to start over time-wise. All my time is in airplanes, and the time in UL trikes doesn't count. The biggest obstacle is finding a WSC instructor with an LSA trike nearby. It's been a while since I checked, but the last time I did the nearest one was up in New England somewhere. But I may still do it. I could just take a week off and do it all at once.

Then again, I wonder if anyone I know would want to fly with me in a trike, anyway. None of my non-flying friends or relatives have expressed anything other than horror at the idea. So I'm not sure what the advantage would be. I can burn gas and dodge raptors just as easily in a single-seat UL as I can in a tandem with a tail number, and without the FAA rigmarole.

Rich
 
Mrs. Steingar goes flying with me when there's a destination, and has even suggested some trips to vis far flung friends. We'll do some sort of trip this weekend if the wx permits, no sure yet where.
 
She's all about the destination - If I'm doing local flying I'm usually up and out of the house by 0600 and that's not going to happen with her on a weekend. If we're going someplace to do something (and after flying with me on her first pilots and paws flight that counts) then I can get her up and out.

Flights to Tilghman Island for an overnight in a couple weeks with friends then Westerly Rhode Island later in the month then up to Laconia NH for a week. She's excited.
 
Wife hates to fly. Will only fly with me as the PIC. Takes medication to "relax" when we are flying. Flys only because it gets us to where we need to be.
 
My wife is great. She supports flying and encourages me, even in my current instrument quest. She has a cast iron stomach and many times just falls asleep. She doesn't like the landings. That forces me to make them as smooth as possible, which is a good thing. She enjoys destination flights: Ocean City, NJ, Tangier Island, Smoketown, PA, Gettysburg, and once we made it down to First Flight. I'm hoping sometime we can do all the Outer Bank airports (First Flight, Billy Mitchell and Oracoke). She's wonderful and I am very blessed.
 
genna said:
To be fair, she does not prevent me from flying(or really any other hobby) in any way. I just finished my Com training a few months ago and she was mostly ok with it. It's just harder to do it when it means that you have to do it separately from each other. There are other things that are specific to our situation that play into it. I suppose that it gets easier as you settle in and spend more time being married, but i'm not there yet. Having a little one makes it even more difficult to justify spending time apart or even have energy and desire sometimes. Money, of course, is another thing to consider.
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I completely agree man, with all points. My wife had become less and less interested in it throughout the years, and I've realized that the majority of women aren't interested in what the single engine GA world brings. So that means you either luck out and find someone who also likes flying, or this becomes a hobby that is *yours*

genna said:
Being able to do activity together is a huge plus.
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Indeed, and theoretically a strong relationship will have both activities you do and enjoy together, and those you do and enjoy apart. Many leading psychologists and relationship people will say that both are important to keep that romantic spark alive

Ultimately, the key is that one does not stop the other or make the other guilty for doing the things they love and makes them happy (within reason of course.. if that "thing" is a severe drug addiction then that's totally different!)
 
Flocker said:
#5 here. Won't do pattern work, but if there is a beach at the end of the flight she's all in.
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steingar said:
Mrs. Steingar goes flying with me when there's a destination, and has even suggested some trips to vis far flung friends. We'll do some sort of trip this weekend if the wx permits, no sure yet where.
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My wife has no interest at all if I am going to the airport to do T&Gs. If I propose someplace interesting, that's a different matter. And she does like the fact that it takes just over 2 hours to fly across the state when it's a 5.5 to 6 hour drive. We're getting really tired of that drive. Know the road entirely too well.
 
Wife loves flying more than I do. Maybe I should say my wife likes being flown.

No interest in getting her ticket.
 
My wife only pukes in the plane. When we move back to the States I need to find her some really effective motion sickness drugs.
 
NealRomeoGolf said:
My wife only pukes in the plane. When we move back to the States I need to find her some really effective motion sickness drugs.
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Maybe quit letting her drink so much beforehand?

:)
 
On the way back from her first Oshkosh Margy went from "wanting to learn how to navigate" to "pitch hitter course" to "I want to get my license." She had her license by the next Oshkosh. We bought the Navion before the one after that. She ended up (by virtue of running a couple of aviation clubs in her middle school) at the position at the Air and Space Museum (Udvar-Hazy mostly).
 
Wife loves to fly. I love flying with her she is great passenger and I don't have to explain stuff to her or worry if it gets a little bumpy.
 
Well.. we finally got one person getting a divorce. :eek:
 
I’ve only taken my girlfriend up once. She didn’t love it or hate it. She most mostly apathetic.
 
What exactly is a "significant other"? Is it another complete ******** designation?


I've had girlfriends (usually one at a time) and a wife (again one at the time) and now I have a girlfriend.

Never had a "significant other" and have no clue what that implies.
 
Ravioli said:
What exactly is a "significant other"? Is it another complete ******** designation?


I've had girlfriends (usually one at a time) and a wife (again one at the time) and now I have a girlfriend.

Never had a "significant other" and have no clue what that implies.
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Boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, goat.... I don’t know you pick
 
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