English as second language *rant*

One of my goals is to be able to say, in perfectly accented form, "I'm terribly sorry, but I don't speak a single word of _______" in the language of whatever country we visit. :)
More important is knowing how to find a bathroom and order a beer.
 
More important is knowing how to find a bathroom and order a beer.

In Spanish, that's "Donde es el bano" (with a tilde over the n in bano) which follows (Un cerveza, por favor!). I used them both this past week in Puerto Vallarta. :p

Not sure how to ask about the bathroom in German, but "Ein bier, bitte!" gets you the beer. "Zwei bier, bitte" gets you two. :D
 
Heck, there are huge swaths of people here in the US where English is their primary language and can't seem to understand it most of the time!
Instagram generation?

Sent from my SM-J327P using Tapatalk
 
Instagram generation?

Doesn't really seem to matter what generation they are. Been around older generations that came from the northeast and some from the deep south, where they have turned the words into some sort of regional abdominal destruction of the language that needs a translator to figure out what they said, even though it's preported to be English. It's also the up and coming generations that seem to try and convey something using the fewest sounds that might make part of a word. Half the time it sounds like they are being tortured just for trying to speak, when they ope their mouth. Then you turn on 80% of the news, and watch out....
 
In Spanish, that's "Donde es el bano" (with a tilde over the n in bano) which follows (Un cerveza, por favor!). I used them both this past week in Puerto Vallarta. :p

Not sure how to ask about the bathroom in German, but "Ein bier, bitte!" gets you the beer. "Zwei bier, bitte" gets you two. :D
Wo ist die Toilette?
 
In my early 20s I tried to buy condoms from a convenience store just bought by some middle eastern folk. Here is how that went...

Me: ....and a pack of those condoms over there. *Points behind counter*

Cashier: ..... *Points at Copenhagen smokeless tobacco*

Me: No, condoms *tried to point more accurately*

Cashier: ..... *Points at Camel cigarettes*

Me: No, condoms! *Starting to get looks from other customers*

Cashier: .... *Points at horny goat pills, or some other otc male enhancement*

Me: No, rubbers, contraceptives, prophylactics, the box with the slut on it! *Humping counter, most certainly have the attention of every customer in the joint.*

That last one he understood, purchase completed, happy customer here.
 
Except this isn’t really true. Only a small percentage of India population speak English even as a second language. Something like 3-5% are fluent. Though that’s still a lot of people

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_English

Oh yeah, a Wikipedia article totally gets that right. SMH

Some years ago I had the opportunity to fly from the UK to France with a local UK pilot in his Cherokee. We flew across the Channel to a very popular small airport. Approaching land, my friend called in our position and intent to land. A few minutes later a call came in from another pilot, also reporting position and intent to land, but in French.

My friend growled, "Every time I come here, someone is speaking French! I don't know where he is!"

Innocently I asked, "Well, if you come here all the times, haven't you picked up a few words, like 'six ouest'?" which is what the pilot reported.

"ENGLISH IS THE LANGUAGE OF AVIATION!" was the reply.

We landed without incident and walked to a restaurant. "You'd better order," said the Englishman to the American. "They hate us here."

Actually, French is one of the languages of aviation.
 
At a local flight school with about 200 students, mainly comprised of chinese, there are signs everywhere that state only English spoken here.
I was in there once to take a test and two chinese students were talking in their native language at the counter, they promptly got an azz chewing for not speaking English.
 
When I was a new controller at Osan Air Base Korea, we had all kinds of different pilots and planes coming and going. About three times a week we'd have this Korean H-60 come in to re-fuel. It went something like this:

"Ohsahnna towuh dis is homony too free siro at ah pahddy point imbund fo land."

"Hominy two three zero, Osan tower, runway two seven cleared to land."

I was so proud of myself that I'd figured out the accent early on. Then I learned about a month later that "Hominy" was actually "Army." Paddy Point was a visual reporting fix over a rice field.

When I was in Scotland I had a hell of a time trying to figure out what they were trying to say. Every time I'd see a Scot on the street (friendly people by the way) they'd come out with, "Oraahite" They say it as we'd say, "how ya doing?" What they were actually saying slowed down for a yank was, "Are you all right?"
 
Back
Top