At some point a parent has just got to let them fail I guess

Timbeck2 said:
When the last apron string is cut I'll agree with you that lectures are over. But until she is self-sufficient and as long as I'm still footing the bill for things, I've still got skin in the game and a right to voice my opinion.
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I’ll agree with that.

We were very honest with our kids in that our financial support stopped the day the diploma was awarded.
 
Although I agree with and share your method, their mother and I differ in that regard. I was raised with nothing, my wife was raised wanting for nothing. We meet in the middle for most things and I always said that my kids will have it better than I did. But when you factor things in such as: if they paid for their phone they wouldn't have one; therefore mama couldn't talk to them. If they paid for their car insurance they couldn't eat (okay, exaggerating just a bit here) etc, etc. Suffice it to say that we don't have near as many apron strings as we used to but a few are still attached.
 
cgrab said:
When our son was young we would be late for everything and he hated it. Until...we invented "Mommy time." He would come home and announce he had to be somewhere at 5:30 and we would be there by 6 when everyone else arrived. I would ask him in private if he was talking mommy time and he would tell me the actual arrival date. I sometimes would have to adjust depending on how I estimated travel time and how mommy did.
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We almost had a special wedding invitation made for my in-laws giving the service time as an hour earlier...
 
Timbeck2 said:
Wild guess here....you aren't the parent of a daughter are you?

This isn't merely an "appointment." It is the first day of her new job as a flight attendant.
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About to be a parent. Honestly in her place I'd probably do similar and I've never had a problem with being late to things. I think you're just doing the thing parents do and worrying a little too much. She'll be fine.
 
overdrive148 said:
I think it's a good thing that I hear my dad calling me an idiot for things I could've avoided. But I had to find out myself before I could just believe it. I can't imagine how uncomfortable that must be as a parent.
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My kids aren't even 4 and 6 yet (girls are 3.5, boy is 5.5). When I was holding my crying infant son with neither of us getting any sleep with constant feeding and diaper changes, I remember thinking "and this is the easy part..."

Right now I'm at the phase of watching them do things that can physically harm them. I mostly only intervene when someone's going to lose an eye or break a limb. They learn a lot more that way. But when I see them fall and hit their knees, head, etc. I get a physical feeling of pain. I imagine that only continues as they get older. It's hard, but you get used to it at this age. We'll see as they get older... I expect it'll get harder.

Timbeck2 said:
Glutton for punishment? I just have the twins, no boys so I don't know it any other way.
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I came to the conclusion some years back that boys start out harder, girls start out easier, and then they swap around age 9-10. On the whole I think that's probably accurate.
 
jesse said:
I operate like your wife and I’ve missed one flight in my life. I airline at least a dozen times a year. My goal is to walk up right as the last section is boarding the airplane.

The time I missed a flight - it didn’t even matter. I flew myself in a 172 instead.

If I arrived an hour earlier than I needed to be - that is 2 hours per trip wasted - well over 24 hours per year. I don’t have that sort of time to be wasting.

A boss of mine once told me “if you don’t miss an airline flight every now and then, you are wasting way too much of the companies time”.
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Too much stress in your way of doing things.

I’d much rather have a relaxing drive to the airport and cool my jets drinking coffee then to have to hurry hurry to get there before the door closes.

Even if this means that the total number of things I get done during my time on this earth is less than might otherwise be.

Enjoy your hurrying!
 
RalphInCA said:
Too much stress in your way of doing things.

I’d much rather have a relaxing drive to the airport and cool my jets drinking coffee then to have to hurry hurry to get there before the door closes.

Even if this means that the total number of things I get done during my time on this earth is less than might otherwise be.

Enjoy your hurrying!
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I don’t know what’s stressful about knowing how long something takes and operating around that knowledge.

Someone that shows up too early is just as frustrating to me as someone who shows up late.

First thing I pay attention to in a job interview is what time they walk in the door. I like to see precision to within 30 seconds or so.

I’ll tolerate five minutes early because some people think it’s a good thing. I really don’t tolerate fifteen minutes early. I consider that disrespectful...if I wanted someone to show up fifteen minutes early that’s when I would have scheduled the meeting.

Personally, for any meeting, I aim to walk in the door not a second before the arranged time but not 30 seconds after either. It’s not hard.
 
Timbeck2 said:
When the last apron string is cut I'll agree with you that lectures are over. But until she is self-sufficient and as long as I'm still footing the bill for things, I've still got skin in the game and a right to voice my opinion.
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I am in the same boat. My daughter is 23 and in grad school. We are still helping her out with expenses. She is pretty level headed - but still makes some head scratching decisions. I keep telling her when she is self sufficient, she can by herself the latest iPhone every time a new one comes out and subscribe to every possible streaming service ever invented. She keeps telling me she will pay for it with her part time job income and I keep explaining that just leaves me paying a bigger chunk of the electric bill, rent, internet, car repairs . . .
 
jesse said:
I really don’t tolerate fifteen minutes early. I consider that disrespectful...if I wanted someone to show up fifteen minutes early that’s when I would have scheduled the meeting.
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Not disputing you, but that's a feeling that I'm not familiar with. In forty years of practice, and in large cities with unpredictable traffic problems, it would never have occurred to me that a client or adverse attorney arriving early to my office waiting room was being disrespectful. To the contrary, actually. <shrug>
 
jesse said:
I don’t know what’s stressful about knowing how long something takes and operating around that knowledge.

Someone that shows up too early is just as frustrating to me as someone who shows up late.

First thing I pay attention to in a job interview is what time they walk in the door. I like to see precision to within 30 seconds or so.

I’ll tolerate five minutes early because some people think it’s a good thing. I really don’t tolerate fifteen minutes early. I consider that disrespectful...if I wanted someone to show up fifteen minutes early that’s when I would have scheduled the meeting.

Personally, for any meeting, I aim to walk in the door not a second before the arranged time but not 30 seconds after either. It’s not hard.
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Anyone as robotic as that I’d probably say sorry for the inconvenience but the position is already filled.

Not exactly, but not that far off either. Dayum dude.
 
jesse said:
Someone that shows up too early is just as frustrating to me as someone who shows up late.

First thing I pay attention to in a job interview is what time they walk in the door. I like to see precision to within 30 seconds or so.

I’ll tolerate five minutes early because some people think it’s a good thing. I really don’t tolerate fifteen minutes early. I consider that disrespectful...if I wanted someone to show up fifteen minutes early that’s when I would have scheduled the meeting.

Personally, for any meeting, I aim to walk in the door not a second before the arranged time but not 30 seconds after either. It’s not hard.
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Dude that’s just bizarre.
 
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Walboy said:
Gosh...good thing you weren't my DPE on any ride I ever took. I showed up way early. I had everything laid out for the examiner nice and orderly. They always seemed pleased by that.
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That was completely disrespectful of you! :p
 
Not to backtrack, but I think 9 1/2 hours for that drive is pretty optimistic.
 
jesse said:
Personally, for any meeting, I aim to walk in the door not a second before the arranged time...
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My meetings start at the scheduled time. If you walk in the door at the scheduled time you're going to disrupt my meeting, which started as you crossed the threshold. You're already behind.

Nauga,
putting the 'punk' in punctuality
 
Pretty soon Jesse will be telling us he traded in his Ford for a Chevy too lolol :D:p
 
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jesse said:
I don’t know what’s stressful about knowing how long something takes and operating around that knowledge.

Someone that shows up too early is just as frustrating to me as someone who shows up late.

First thing I pay attention to in a job interview is what time they walk in the door. I like to see precision to within 30 seconds or so.

I’ll tolerate five minutes early because some people think it’s a good thing. I really don’t tolerate fifteen minutes early. I consider that disrespectful...if I wanted someone to show up fifteen minutes early that’s when I would have scheduled the meeting.

Personally, for any meeting, I aim to walk in the door not a second before the arranged time but not 30 seconds after either. It’s not hard.
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There's nothing stressful about it if you know how long it takes. But where I live traffic around the 2nd largest university in the US can make a 20 minute swing in a half hour drive to work. And it's just not that predictable. Security at OIA (KMCO) can vary an hour or more depending on whatever the TSA has decided to try out on any given day. So knowing how long it takes is just not the precise. If somebody shows up 15 minutes early for an interview I don't take it personally at all. I also don't feel bad about letting them sit in the lobby until the appointed time.

And I get to the airport early. Then work until time to go. I do carry a laptop so I can...
 
nauga said:
My meetings start at the scheduled time. If you walk in the door at the scheduled time you're going to disrupt my meeting, which started as you crossed the threshold. You're already behind.

Nauga,
putting the 'punk' in punctuality
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:yeahthat:
 
RalphInCA said:
I’d much rather have a relaxing drive to the airport and cool my jets drinking coffee then to have to hurry hurry to get there before the door closes.
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Yeah, quaff that pot of coffee, then see who's gotta "hurry hurry" to the lav right as boarding starts, and then again as soon as the seatbelt light goes off, then again after you get up the jetway at your destination... ;)
 
Timbeck2 said:
Glutton for punishment? I just have the twins, no boys so I don't know it any other way.
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Tim, if it’s any consolation to you, it ain’t just the girls. My son did the same sorts of things over and over again. He’s 23 now and is finally starting to figure it out.

I’ve raised one of each, btw.
 
jesse said:
I don’t know what’s stressful about knowing how long something takes and operating around that knowledge.

Someone that shows up too early is just as frustrating to me as someone who shows up late.

First thing I pay attention to in a job interview is what time they walk in the door. I like to see precision to within 30 seconds or so.

I’ll tolerate five minutes early because some people think it’s a good thing. I really don’t tolerate fifteen minutes early. I consider that disrespectful...if I wanted someone to show up fifteen minutes early that’s when I would have scheduled the meeting.

Personally, for any meeting, I aim to walk in the door not a second before the arranged time but not 30 seconds after either. It’s not hard.
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I dont think it’s disrespectful. I do think someone’s going to be waiting in the lobby until its time for the meeting. Or in the coffee room. But not in my office.
 
I personally also prefer to arrive ahead of time and just don’t want to be stressed out from the drive there. Definitely depends on how important the appointment and job interview and first day at work definitely qualify for these additional considerations... First days at work have totally different surprises for you so I don’t need the extra excitements.

And never trust those GPS’s: while it might be true that the drive is X hours, they usually don’t include gas / food / ... stops. Those stops add up... :confused:

I hate wasting other people’s time but even more if others waste MY time by being late.
 
Me (the dad): you're not letting that credit card they gave you get out of control, are you?
The 20 y.o. student: no, I'm keeping up with it. They only problem is I don't know when the payment is due.
Me: are you getting paper statements or electronic?
20: electronic
Me: do you have their app on your phone?
20: no
Me: well, you better figure that out....
Time passes...(about 5 min)
20: ok, my payment is due the 29th
 
Tarheelpilot said:
Well it could be worse. I have a friend who’s daughter is so bad at life she’s on the verge of criminal charges for writing bad checks. She can’t seem to understand there has to be money in the account for her to write checks.
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CC268 said:
I’d recommend YNAB to her :)
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Seconded. 80% of Americans have never done a written budget.

jesse said:
I don’t know what’s stressful about knowing how long something takes and operating around that knowledge.

Someone that shows up too early is just as frustrating to me as someone who shows up late.

First thing I pay attention to in a job interview is what time they walk in the door. I like to see precision to within 30 seconds or so.

I’ll tolerate five minutes early because some people think it’s a good thing. I really don’t tolerate fifteen minutes early. I consider that disrespectful...if I wanted someone to show up fifteen minutes early that’s when I would have scheduled the meeting.

Personally, for any meeting, I aim to walk in the door not a second before the arranged time but not 30 seconds after either. It’s not hard.
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Hahahahaha that’s a tad much, even for an engineer, man.

This is why buildings have waiting areas. Don’t worry about it if they show up early, just tell them to sit there and wait.

Personally I’ll show up early if there’s a mess of traffic or something realistically possible that would make me late, and then sit in my car. That way I’m not bothering any of these newfangled companies that don’t bother hiring a front desk admin person and guys like @jesse freak out because “everyone must be escorted at all times”, especially since most of my clients over the decades have all had draconian and annoying escort rules.

Which, for the most part, were summarily ignored about five minutes after they issued me a temporary badge and told me to get to work loading my equipment, test gear, or whatever crap I had along THIS time in, and getting to work. Came and went as I pleased the rest of the week.

Other than Walmart. That company is the most secretive paranoid group of businesspeople on the planet outside of DoD.

But at least I didn’t get locked inside the conference room with automatically closing window shutters at the Nuclear Regulatory Commission’s NOC when the alarms went off that there was a loss of nuclear material event, like my boss did... on the way out of the building.

They left him locked in there for a couple of hours so he wouldn’t see or hear anything. Hahahahaha. Poor bastard. Tool bag in hand, was headed out of the place and he missed his window by 60 seconds.

He managed not to miss his flight. Come to think of it, DOE was paranoid too. But I’m not sure they were as paranoid as Walmart.

One of our techs pulled up a floor tile in Walmart’s data center to start working on the install after the “escort” disappeared for two hours on him. The security guards saw it on the closed circuit cameras and he was escorted off the property and told never to return, and it caused a stink all the way to our CEOs office. An utter pain in the ass, Walmart was...
 
I guess I am not very diplomatic when it comes to most thing. I still ask/tell my kids (others too) what the hell are you thinking etc. when I see them doing things which are the smartest or in their best interests. They still come for advice to this day but at times already know the answer.. To the OP I would have said what you didn’t say..
 
denverpilot said:
Other than Walmart. That company is the most secretive paranoid group of businesspeople on the planet outside of DoD.
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Try Samsung in Korea. I worked for DoD and for an aerospace company with a security clearance for everything, up to and including ridiculous, and I never saw anything like Samsung. Working for Intel at the time, that was saying something. Intel's unofficial motto was "paranoia are us".
 
I've always built in a time pad on when I'm headed somewhere. Typically, I'm out the door at 10 pm for a 12 am start time, and I hit the parking lot about 11 pm. Gives me time to make the 1/4+ mile walk in, listen and observe what's going on down the flight line as I walk, and then eat breakfast and talk to a couple of the 2nd shift inspectors. Normally, it's a 40-62 minute commute, but trains, wrecks, events at the race track and construction do effect it. I have left a half hour early with a known big even at the track ending about commute time, gotten hung up with a major wreck and then have construction close off all three of my backup routes, as well as the primary one, at the same time. Managed to punch in with less than 20 seconds to spare. Tonight, time didn't matter as the bug quit with a big cloud of smoke about half way to work and I had to have the wife come get me off the side of the road. Will go retrieve the dead bug at daylight.:(
 
Ghery said:
Try Samsung in Korea. I worked for DoD and for an aerospace company with a security clearance for everything, up to and including ridiculous, and I never saw anything like Samsung. Working for Intel at the time, that was saying something. Intel's unofficial motto was "paranoia are us".
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Makes sense from what I heard of them from dad. He had to deal with them in the electronics component market.

Intel secrecy makes me chuckle. They think they’re keeping secrets and then do all their design work in Israel where within that little sub-culture the Israeli engineers share everything with each other and are paranoid of outsiders even inside their own companies, but they weren’t paranoid of talking to the competitor’s or other company’s engineers over lunch. Ha.

We saw this with our engineering hardware design team in Israel. Was always entertaining. They wouldn’t tell us stuff, but they’d tell their buddies at Intel, Qualcomm, hell even our competitors.

You’d watch the packet traces debugging something and our product and our competitor’s product and they would be identical, down to the smallest measurable time scale. :)

And both our product and theirs would have the exact same bug... hmmmm. That’s conveniently similar... :)

Don’t know if that was just an oddity of telecom or if it extended to chip design and other competitors over there though. :)
 
I had a staffer show up a half hour late on her first day. I was not impressed, but I gave her a pass when I learned her car got rear ended when she was turning into our parking lot. Fortunately for me. She turned out to be a rock star.
 
Ken Ibold said:
I had a staffer show up a half hour late on her first day. I was not impressed, but I gave her a pass when I learned her car got rear ended when she was turning into our parking lot. Fortunately for me. She turned out to be a rock star.
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Party till 4:00 a.m., high on cocaine and booze, wakes up after noon, and rolls into the gig at 9:00 p.m.?
 
I don't mind arriving at the airport early. It's where they keep the airplanes! I can look out the window to watch take offs/landings, ground operations, and look over the plane before I board (just to double-check the pilots' preflight). I'll also listen to tower/ground on my little receive-only radio and listen to the terminology. I know, not cool, but I learn lots for when I'm the PIC.
 
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