Why stuff breaks.

[X3 Skier]

There is a reason that this happens to men. Years ago Earth was only populated by one human species, MEN. About a thousand years ago there was a spaceship that was traveling through the galaxy and it broke down in Earth's atmosphere and it's been circling ever since in a very high orbit. It has a cloaking device so that we can't easily detect it. This spaceship was inhabited by a species called WOMEN ( pronounced WHOA- MEN). They had to get their ship fixed so they could continue on but they were incapable of fixing things or making their own parts. So, they beamed down and started co-mingling with the men.

Not much progress was made for a few centuries because the MEN didn't really make much that could be used in a spaceship. Until the Industrial Revolution. That changed everything. Think back to when you were living alone. You owned a toaster and it lasted forever. Same with your TV, Stereo and probably even your electric shaver. All this stuff never broke. Then you co-mingled with one of the WOMEN. That's when things started to change. All of a sudden you started needing new stuff on a regular basis. Stuff that used to last decades now mysteriously broke weeks after you bought it.

Well, that's because when you put your head on the pillow and fall asleep they, the WOMEN, beam back up to the ship with appliance parts for repairs and get instructions on how to deal with you the next day. Don't believe me? Why do you think they wear socks to bed? It's because the space ship has metal floors and their feet get cold.

Now this is gradually changing as the WOMEN became more skilled in repairing stuff, starting with Rosie the Riviter in WWII. Eventually they will fix their spaceship by themselves and depart leaving Earth populated solely by MEN and stuff will last decades again.

This is the absolute truth as related to me by a Navy Tomcat RIO in the Miramar NAS O'Club in 1983.

Cheers

 

[Banjo33]

Dang, that explains what has happened to my desktop computer AND the laptop I bought for my “whoa-men!”

 

[Lachlan]

I’m a relatively open minded guy, but I don’t wanna live in a world where men procreate with men.

 

[eman1200]

holy @#$%^ I want some of whatever you're smoking

 

[cgrab]

Worse than things breaking is when they demand things get replaced for no reason. Right now we are waiting for the plumber to pipe in gas to our kitchen so we can have a gas cook top to replace the perfectly good electric cook top.

 

[X3 Skier]

Worse than things breaking is when they demand things get replaced for no reason. Right now we are waiting for the plumber to pipe in gas to our kitchen so we can have a gas cook top to replace the perfectly good electric cook top.

Further confirmation of my post. They need electrical parts for the spaceship. No such thing as an intergalactic natural gas power rocket

Cheers

 

[X3 Skier]

holy @#$%^ I want some of whatever you're smoking

Come on out to Steamboat Springs. We have three (or is it four?) “dispensaries” where you can get what you need.

Cheers

 

[FlySince9]

I’m a relatively open minded guy, but I don’t wanna live in a world where men procreate with men.

You don't have to worry about that... The men don't procreate, they drink beer and smoke weed until they reach critical mass and then split into two identical specimen... long term problem is that everyone looks identical and goes by the name, Bob... Soon you find them running around the house in their underwear, playing with toy airplanes...

 

[SkyDog58]

Slow news day?

 

[Lachlan]

You don't have to worry about that... The men don't procreate, they drink beer and smoke weed until they reach critical mass and then split into two identical specimen... long term problem is that everyone looks identical and goes by the name, Bob... Soon you find them running around the house in their underwear, playing with toy airplanes...

I’m not as open minded as I thought...

 

[denverpilot]

Worse than things breaking is when they demand things get replaced for no reason. Right now we are waiting for the plumber to pipe in gas to our kitchen so we can have a gas cook top to replace the perfectly good electric cook top.

Electric sucks. I'm with your woman on this one. Gas cooking is proper man cooking... burn it with FIRE!

 

[jsstevens]

Once you've used gas to cook with you will not want to go back. There's a reason almost all commercial kitchens use gas.

 

[archerdriver]

Take the socks.

 

[Everskyward]

Once you've used gas to cook with you will not want to go back. There's a reason almost all commercial kitchens use gas.

Probably depends on how much you cook, or enjoy cooking (not). I elected not to run a gas line to where my stove is located.

 

[jsstevens]

Probably depends on how much you cook, or enjoy cooking (not). I elected not to run a gas line to where my stove is located.

True enough. For those who cook, they generally prefer gas if they’ve ever had it.

 

[Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe]

Ain't never heard of no gas microwave.

 

[asicer]

Ain't never heard of no gas microwave.

Microwave? That ain't cooking. That's reheating

 

[Everskyward]

True enough. For those who cook, they generally prefer gas if they’ve ever had it.

LOL, I heard that numerous times when people found out I was redoing the kitchen. What, you're not switching to gas?? To be honest, my childhood home had gas, but I have never used it as an adult... and I'm not much of a cook. I could get by with just a microwave...

 

[cgrab]

When I was 7 or 8 the sleeve on my pajamas caught fire when I leaned up against the stove. I wore those long/short sleeve pajamas for a couple of years after that. My Grandma poured the dishwater on me to put it out.

 

[KRyan]

This struck me as particularly funny. I've been fighting an ongoing problem with my dishwasher, where the drain solenoid keeps burning out. I just replaced it again the night before the original post, and it worked for a while and then quit again.
Seeing your timely post, I cut and pasted it into an e-mail and sent it to my wife. Last night, I removed the offending part, and this time I think I've discovered the problem. It turned out the "old" part I had was still "good" so I put it in "the junk drawer" and told her where it was, so she could use it on her spaceship.
Turns out, she thought that I had written the OP's post, and that it was about our particular situation, especially when the OP's statement contained "Why do you think they wear socks to bed?" She though I was writing about her!

 

[wilkersk]

Yeah, I'm not buying that. Its my firm belief that the frequency of things you have to fix is correlated to the amount of technical skill you possess. If you have ever put together off-the-shelf parts to assemble a computer, everyone you know will want you to solve their Windows X problem. Likewise, if you take pride in doing your own car repairs, car makers will incorporate newer, unreliable technology that will only fail in your car, leaving you no choice but to take the car to an "authorized" repair center which will charge you a lot of money and never fix the problem.